© TONI
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's
the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in
the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
It's the 12th roll of parchment, second bottle of ink and three holiday hours I've wasted. It's Friday, five days before the Yule Ball. Still, I have no partner. My friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter all have partners…Gillies, Hanelle and Avila. I'm trying to impress the most gorgeous girl in my batch, Lily Evans.
Hey, I'm James Potter, Gryffindor Quidditch Chaser, second most outstanding student, and part of the top secret Marauder Group. I wear round glasses and I can't seem to control my hair. Girls like me…I must admit. Yet, I don't like them at all! All I want is Lily.
Lily Potter, oh I mean, Lily Evans has red hair, green eyes and a gorgeous face. Her smile blows everyone back. She is the top student. Also, her voice…oh the veela-like voice…her voice is an angel! Every Christmas or Yule Ball, she sings a song she dedicates to ONE special person of the year. Sometimes, she would have songs auditioned to her. Last year, she dedicated a song entitled 'Breathe' to her best friend, Eva.
Boys, especially the ones in Gryffindor and Slytherin come up to her and ask her if she can be their partner. Yesterday the greasy-haired Severus Snape asked her. The reply he got was, "Snape, I'm sorry but I'm still making my mind up on whom to go with. Sorry."
Maybe she wants flattery. Sirius, the girl-magnet, told me that girls could be easily carried away with good praise and sweet nothings. That's why I'm here confined in my Head Boy's Dormitory writing the song that I've been imagining for her. But the problem is, I'm not a poet or a composer. I'm not good in writing anything except essays and some Quidditch paper. But for her, I'll try, I will.
The snow is thickening outside. My friend Hagrid is in his hut probably making some of his good ole tea. Sirius and Remus used my Invisibility Cloak to sneak all the way up to there. Their footprints are still fresh. Peter probably dropped off to Hogsmeade for dress robes. The other students especially Molly and Arthur are clumped in hugs near the frozen lake. The Ravens and Badgers are playing Snow War Forts. Hmm…I'm the only one inside the castle I suppose.
"Accio parchment and ink bottle," I chant. Along come a roll of parchment and an unopened bottle of ink. "Here I go again trying to finish this song for Lily…"
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy
dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my
dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me
over again
"Okay finally," I said to myself closing up the inkbottle. "I have finished the first part of the song. Now, I can join my Marauders in Hagrid's Hut." I went down the steps. I was so happy of my shallow achievement when I bumped into someone.
"Will you watch where you're going?" the female voice said. "There are still people in the castle."
"Oh sorry," I said. I looked down and saw…to my surprise. "Lily?"
"Who do you expect? Claudia Rivers?" she said chuckling. Her eyes danced.
"No. And why would you say that?" I asked having eye contact with her.
She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because she likes you and you obviously like her, too." Me? Like Claudia Rivers? The blond sitting next to Lily in every class since the first year? Never. "You're always staring at her, daydreaming and stuff; but don't worry daydreaming is a muggle sign of intelligence."
"No, I'm not looking at her!" I defended. "I was looking at…at…" Really…at her.
"Where? Outside the window?" then she kissed me on the cheek. I tried to kiss her back but she said, "I know you're looking at me…for something. Tell me. Let's go outside just like everybody else."
"Okay," I whispered still feeling the sensation of her soft lips against my cheek. Once outside behind the statue of the Hogwarts Coat of Arms, I said, "Wangoballwime?"
"Uh, what's that?" she laughed. I was speechless. "Okay, my turn. I want you to take me to the ball this year. I've been figuring out that I've been going out with several Gryffindor batch boys since the 5th year. I had Remus and Sirius as partners in previous years. But as you noticed, I've not being…well, interested in seeing you."
"Oh that's all right," I mumbled hanging on to every word she says. "So, want to go to the ball with me?"
"Sure. In one condition," she smiled. I nodded. "You are not to kiss me during the ball in front of everyone. In return, I will not dance with anybody except you." I smiled. "I take that as a yes, James. I'll see you."
I was about to stand up and escort her to the castle when the unexpected happened. She was in mid-crouch and I stood up and our lips touched. Our eyes were locked to each other and we held still for about five seconds. She pulled away and blushed. She ran to the castle doors leaving me hypnotized.
Her lips are so soft and delicate. I love the feeling she left on me…heaven. I could faint right then and there. I've got to tell the Marauders about this!
My wildest dream…WILL come true bit by bit. The accidental kiss and the Ball are stepping-stones. It seems that she wants something from me. Or maybe it's her idea of small talk. She's nice and fine. Boy, I really want to find out.
"Maybe she likes ye," Hagrid told me after I confided them the incident. "She's jus' down 'ere last week. Little Lily told me she's a bit bored by some o' the boys." Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Hagrid had noticed this and added, "She also told me tha' you two are okay." Both sighed. Peter and I laughed. "Bu' James I think it's ye tha' she likes the best."
"What did I tell you, brother," Sirius said, "She told me one time in Three Broomsticks that," he paused and made a girly voice, "James is pretty hot. He's okay."
"Oh I hope that's true," Remus said. "She said something like that one time on our date too." He thought for a moment. "Oh," with another high pitched voice, "Remus, you know James is something. He's kind of cute."
"So you see, James," Peter said. "I'm not an expert when it comes to girl but isn't it oblivious? In ten years…Lily Evans-Potter."
I smiled and said nothing. That actually sounded good!
I give you my destiny
I'm givin' you all of
me
I want your symphony singing in all that I am
At the top of
lungs
I'm givin' it back
After that uplifting conversation, I managed to finish my song. Now, all I have to do now is sneak up to the Head Girl's Dorm and slip this under Lily's pillow. After an early dinner, I entered her dorm and put the parchment under her covers instead. In it also was a note.
Dearest Lily,
I was dying to finish this for you ever since our first year. This is my song I wrote. I want you to sing this in the Yule Ball if it's all right. You can use any melody. Just keep me anonymous and dedicate this so SOMEONE ELSE.
Lily, I LOVE YOU…
Love,
James
All I have to do now is wait for the Christmas/Yule Ball. I have all my dress robes all prepped up and ready. I'm a good dancer according to my mother. And I can go well with girls. I'll just gather confidence for my 'date' with Lily.
At last! December the twenty-fifth. Lily told me not to wait for her outside the Portrait Hole. She's going to sing on stage with my song. I walked happily to the Great Hall with my best Marauders and their girlfriends. Dumbledore was shushing the crowd of fourth years up to seventh years and some alumni.
When everything was in order, the lights dimmed and my princess entered the stage. There was thunderous applauding. "Thank you. Now, it's time again for the Yule Song. This year, I picked one penned by my friend. He does want to be unknown for some reason." She smiled at me. "But even if he did tell me not to dedicate this to him, this is still for you. After all you're still someone else."
Sirius, Peter and Remus all said, "Ahem," behind me. "Gee wonder who was that composer?"
"This melody that I will put on this is the one I've been making up through my Hogwarts years. Now that it's my last, it's perfect for this. It is entitled 'Only Hope'."
Dumbledore hailed a piano player and a string quartet to play along side Lily's angelic voice.
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours I know
now...
You're my only hope
After the song, there was her special standing ovation. "Thank you. I can't keep the writer under the shadows. This is his song." She looked at me again. I nodded. "Okay, it is James Potter. You might not know this but James is a good kisser. I love you." That made me blush. Without any other, she exited the stage and ran to me.
"Lily thank you," I whispered after a long kiss. "You told me no kissing."
"I know, James but," she smiled, "I can't help it. I'm so in love with you."
"And I am with you."
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray
To be only yours, I pray
To be only yours, I pray
To
be only yours I know now...
You're my only hope
04/05/2002