Disclaimer: If you think I actually own Digimon, then you need to be sued for blatant stupidity.
Just don't sue me for borrowing the character and all, since, again, this is merely a non-profit
fanfic, purely for entertainment use and the such. That, and I have nothing of value to sue for.
Authors Note: Due to the overwhelming demand by the fans of my last fic, Broken Words (All five
of them!), I am doing a pseudo-sequel to it. This fic is basically an overview of the circumstances
leading up to, during, and after Broken Words in a first-person view by one of the two main players
in that fic. That said, go read Broken Words if you haven't already (Don't worry, I'm gonna
re-upload the fic so it'll be close together with this one)! This one is in Mimi's POV. I will do
one for Miyako as well. Hopefully, this will not completely suck, as I tend to write crappier as my
works get longer. But enough of my ownshortcomings, lets get to the damn fic! Oh...yeah, I almost
forgot, there will be some profanity (as if you haven't noticed yet), but mainly in the form of the
D-word. Also, this has yuri (lesbian) content, so if you can't handle it, or your faith bars you
from reading such heathen writings, then LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOU BURN IN HELL!!!! I, on the other hand,
who will probably go to hell for subjecting poor Miyako to such anguish, shall go on with the fic.
Those who want to read or are allowed to read a fic such as this (...There are people who are reading
this still, right?), enjoy and please place all trash in the proper recepticles on your way out.
Thank you....wait, wait! I meant trash as in candy wrappers o-or Popcorn boxes! Hey! Put me down I
say!! The recepticles are not meant to hold human beiAHHHH!! *THOOM*
Legend:
"..." = Speech
"^...^" = Thought
*...* = Sound Effects
Abstract Productions Presents
A Hybrid Nation Fanfic
Digimon: Digital Monsters:
Shattered: Mimi's Story
By Kryptik
My name is Tachikawa Mimi, and what just happened a few days ago...I can't really describe.
All I know is that I can't get rid of this guilt that I have over the whole situation. I can't
believe that I let myself do that! I never meant for it to be like...like....THAT!!!...Oh, sorry.
Got carried away again, I guess. Maybe I should start from the beginning....
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I was visiting my friends back in Odaiba, Japan during a break in school. I had moved from
there to New York a few years ago after my dad's company transfered him to their U.S. branch. I
was soooooooo....ack. Sorry again. I keep doing that. Anyways, I was really excited to see them
again...well, under normal circumstances that is. Of course, the normal part flew right out the
window as I heard four words I never wanted to hear again: Trouble In The Digiworld. In case
you don't know (and why would you unless you've been there before, which I doubt), the Digital
World, or Digiworld, is basically the world within the computers where...Gods, I wish Koushiro
was here to explain this...*SIGH*. Well, anyways, long story short, it is a world within your
computer and all others. When we were ten years old, a group of kids, including me, were sucked
into the Digiworld. Turns out, we were all what were called "Digidestined," those who were
supposed to help save the Digiworld from all this crap happening there. Against all odds and
reasoning, we managed to do it, beating several evil creeps along the way with the help of our
Digital Monsters, or Digimon. Gods, all that Digi-crap gets annoying when you have to talk about
it. But back to what I was saying. I thought I left all that behind when we left the Digiworld
for the "last time." Not only was this not the last time there was trouble, but I end up getting
dragged back into the whole mess, even though I wasn't really a "Digidestined" anymore. Well, not
technically, since I couldn't really help that much more there, and....Dammit! I gotta stop
getting sidetracked like this! Guess my scatterbrain reputation is well deserved, *SIGH*...You
know, now that I think about it, I was really the person who suggested going back to the Digiworld
while I was there. But how was I to know we'd get attacked? I just wanted a picnic! Anyways, I
got separated from most of the new group of Digidestined when the Roachmon attacked us. The only
one left with me of the group was a purple-haired girl named Inoue Miyako. I...I...*SNIFF*. Sorry,
I just....Ahem! Like I was saying before, we had gotten separated from the group and were being
attacked by giant roach Digimon. I'm not sure what exactly happened during that time, but I could
swear that during that whole time, I felf something from her, some kind of odd feeling. Maybe
it was the look in her eyes after we fell on each other to avoid another attack. We just stared
at each other for a moment while we gathered our bearings, but, when I think about it, she had
an odd look in her eyes that one moment. I guess I tried to pawn it off as sisterly respect or
affection, or something along those lines. Either way, it would come back to haunt me.
I met up with the group again in the Digiworld a few weeks later. I had Michael, a friend
of mine from the U.S. who, conveniently, is Digidestined as well, with me. I even tried to set
Miyako up with him after we dealt with some creepy thing that attacked us. She blushed when
he asked her for a date. I thought it was because of him, but, looking back (once again), she
had been staring at me most of the time. She....DAMMIT!!!! Why didn't I see this sooner? Why
didn't I confront her about it? Gods, why didn't I do something about this whole damn thing
before it spiraled out of control?.....I know why. I tried to deny it. I tried to tell myself
that "She couldn't! She's supposed to be boy crazy and all that. She even has a crush on that
Ken Ichi...whatever." And Miyako paid the price for my denial....
The breaking point came a few days ago. It was summer vacation and I came to visit. It had
been a year since the second ordeal with the Digiworld blew over, and I came back to see how everyone
was. After all, a year can change everything, especially if you were part of a group who on a regular
basis travel to an electronic world to save it from whacked-out creatures and such. Everyone had
come to recieve me at the airport. I don't remember exactly what happened then, just a lost of
hugging and excited screaming, followed by annoyed groaning as the guys saw all my bags that they
had to carry for me, hee hee. I don't even really need all that luggage! I just bring it all
to annoy the guys, especially Taichi. That why I always make him carry the most. But anyways...
how many times have I said that? I sound like such an airhead...Gods I hate being introspective.
I always end up focusing on all my faults or mistakes. *SIGH*. But, like I was saying, they
threw a party for me at Yamato's, seeing as it had been a long time since they'd seen me. The fact
that I was possibly going to move back here made it even more festive. Yamato-chan was especially
happy. I forgot what he said to me, but I could swear that I could have been boiled for hours and
not be redder than my face was at that moment. Of course, I just had to get back at him. I won't go
into detail, but as I whispered into his ear, I could barely distinguish his face from the punch he had
to down to keep his composure. Hee hee, Yamato-chan is so fun to tease, especially when he gets so
flustered like that. Well, afterwards, I went to get some more punch, as Yamato seemed like he needed it
the cup I had more than I did. As I approached the punch bowl, I ran into Miyako. We started to talk
a bit and ended up drifting to a bench outside. We mostly talked about trivial stuff. She seemed
really happy until I asked her she had a boyfriend. Innocent enough question, ne? She grimaced
and dropped her head down a bit. I thought that just meant she had broken up with someone recently.
I put my arm around her to comfort her and asked her what happened. She slowly reach up to take my
arm from around her shoulder and faced me, giving me the most powerful stare all the while. Not
glaring, not longing, but just a stare with the strongest intent behind it. The converstation
went sort of like this
"Mimi, you know that we're both pretty good friends, right?" She said in a odd tone, one
I couldn't place at the time.
"Of course! I mean, why wouldn't we be. We're both Digidestined, we've known each other for
over a year now righmppphhh??!?!" I gushed until she put a finger to my lips to shut me up.
"Shhhhh, let me finish. Do you remember the first day we met?" She asked me in the same
suspicious tone, which was starting to unnerve me slightly.
"Uhhhh, yeah, so?" I answered oh so intelligently. I could see Miyako starting to tremble a
bit, for whatever reason, I didn't know at the time.
"It's just that....I....GODS, WHY CAN"T I SAY IT?!" She screamed, obviously over her stumbling
over whatever she wanted to say to me. Luckily, it wasn't loud enough to be heard over the party.
"I'm sorry, Mimi, but...but..." She trembled, burying her face into her hands. I was starting to
get worried about her, but what could I do if I didn't know what the hell was wrong?
"What's wrong Miyako-chan?" I asked in a fretting voice, not sure what to do at this point.
She flinched when she heard the "-chan" added to her name, though I didn't notice it at the time.
I guess I don't notice a lot of things until a lot later. Too late, in this case...
"Wrong. Heh, that's an understatement...You are going to hate me for this, Mimi-san. You
are really going to hate me for this." She muttered, her face still in her hands. That was about
the point I knew something was wrong.
"^Mimi-SAN? Why Mimi-SAN?^ Miyako, you're starting to scare me. Please tell me, what's
wrong?"
"Wrong? This is what's wrong." With that she put her arms around me and hugged me like her
life depended on it, which set off my danger sense completely. Then she brought her mouth close to my
ear and, barely above a whisper, said it...the words that will haunt me forever. The three innocent,
normally-wonderful words that turned both her life and mine to shit: "I Love You."
That was when all hell started to break loose.
I pushed her off me in surprise, dropping my glass in the process, eyes about as wide as ping-
pong balls, reeling in...horror? No, that's not it....more like, apprehension. After all, one of my
best friends, a girl, had just told me, upfront, in person, as bluntly as possible, that she loved me.
I don't know if I could of handled it better, but I know I couldn't of handled it worse. First, I tried
to act like I didn't just hear what I thought I just heard. "W-w-w-what'd you just say?"
"I said 'I Love You.'" she said, deliberately, calmly, and yet, sadly.
Seeing that I didn't just hear her wrong, I tried to make sense of what should be the three easiest
words in any language to understand. "W-w-w-what do you mean 'love me?' You mean like s-s-sisterly
l-l-love, right?" I sputtered nervously, not wanting to really know the answer. Miyako's face, which fell
the moment I pushed out of her hug, probably was around rock bottom at this point.
"No, I mean love as in 'I wan't to be with you every single moment' type of love. Love as in 'I want
to spend the rest of my life with you.' Love as in 'I can't live anymore without you!' Love...as in
'Tearing myself apart because I know there is proabably no way that you would love me like that back...."
That last sentence still stabs through me life a knife every time I remember it. The way she said it, the
way it looked like she would break down right there. It had been like she had already given up all hope.
When she regained her composure, she brought her hand up as if to cup my face with it. I did nothing, still
trying to make sense out of all of this, idly wondering why no one had come out to check on us.
"Bu-bu-but you...me...we're both...we can't!" If anything sent her straight through rock bottom at
that point, that was probably it.
"I know it's wrong, but I don't care. I don't care if the others, my family, hell, even the kami
themselves hunt me down. Ever since the day we met. Ever since that whole thing in the Digital World with
the Roachmon. Ever since then, I've been in love with you. You were so kind, so beautiful, so..."
"no, no, No, NO, NO! Just stop it!" By this time, I had heard all I could handle at that moment,
and I did probably the worst thing I could have possibly done. "I'm sorry, but I like you, Miyako. I like
you a lot. But not...like...THAT!" Looking back, I could see how every word of that last senctece drove
through her like a red hot spear. "I mean, were both GIRLS, for kami's sake! How could..." I stopped
right about then when I heard something. I turn to Miyako and saw her sniffling. Soon enough she was flat
out bawling. The look on her face...God, I felt so sick, how could I have done that to her?! I tried to
grab her and get her to stop crying but before I could even touch her she shoved me out of the way and
sprinted down the street sobbing all the way. I mean....gods, Miyako, I'm am so sorry. *SNIFF* I am so
sorry.....I need a tissue...
I started to run after her just as everyone else had come out to see what my whole outburst was about.
Hikari and Takeru were the first ones to notice me running off and that Miyako was missing. Well, I'd guess
they were since they were the first of them to reach....never mind. I have no idea how long I ran, yelling
out Miyako's name. I was getting tired, and my throat threatened to give out on me, until I came up to a
bridge. That's where I saw her...sitting on the railing, looking down into the water. I hid behind I tree
to hide from her. Who know what might have happened if she saw me? As I watched her, I saw her stand up
and spread her arms out. My God, I thought she was about to jump. I almost screamed after her, but my
words caught in my throat, sore from the yelling I did looking for her. Maybe it was for the better.
Before she could jump, she dropped of the railing and back onto the bridge, curling up in a little ball. I
was about to go run to her, but then she said something...no, actually, she sang something...in English.
I listen to the words, and though some of it I couldn't understand (....OK, SO I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND PART
OF IT! ENGLISH IS A HARD LANGUAGE TO LEARN, EVEN IF YOU DO LIVE IN THE U.S.!!), the parts I could stunned
me.
"^Sweet little hands? W-walking away? Is she singing about me?^" I listened to the rest of the
song, thinking just how appropriate it was considering the situation. "^Broken words? More like shattered.
I shattered all of her meaningful words, all her emotion, shattered her heart, for what?^" Before I could
reflect on it any more, I heard Hikari and Takeru running towards here. I hid behind the tree so they
couldn't see me, either. As I watched, I saw Miyako virtually collapse into Hikari's arms, sobbing about
the whole damn thing. I think that was something neither of them, or any of us, for that matter, coudld
handle: An emotionally out-of-control Miyako. God know I couldn't handle an emotional Miyako. Once
they calmed her down slightly, they started to slowly make their way back to Yamato's. All I could do was
just stand there, thinking of what I had just made Miyako do. "^She was going to jump! She was going to
kill herself, because of my tactlessness and thoughtlessness. She would be dead because I couldn't handle
her being in love with me...^ God, I'm sorry Miyako. I am so sorry." I realize I probably sound like a
broken record right now, but if you felt as guilty over this whole situation as I did, you'd be apoligizing
profusely, too. I would have cried right about then, except for the fact that someone I never would have
expected to come after me did.
"Mimi? Where are you Mimi?" When I heard that voice, my mind spun faster than it was already.
"^Tai? Why would he come after me?^" I didn't have enough time to ask as he ran up to the tree where
I had been hiding. Normally, I would I have tried to make a dumb comment about his hair or some kind of
taunting remark, but this wasn't exactly the kind of moment to do that. The only think I could do was fall
into his arms and cry. Surprisingly, he did nothing to stop me. He just put his arms around me and let me
cry into his shoulder. I don't know why, but for a fleeting moment, I wondered if I had missed something by
going after Yamato insted of him. Before I my mind could follow that path any further, I broke the silence
between us, before I completely soaked his shirt. "God, Tai, I didn't want her to try and kill herself. I
never meant..." I sobbed before Tai stopped me.
"Shhhh, you did all you could."
"Then why couldn't I stop her?" I choked out.
"No one could have known she would try and do that, and you know that!"
"Then why do I still feel like this is all my fault?" I was surprised when he suddenly grabbed me by
the shoulders and shook me a couple of times.
"It is not your fault! It isn't anyone's fault." He yelled, then whispered as he hugged me again.
"Please, just realize it's not your fault." All I did was nod my head a bit as I cried into his chest. I
probably would have gone back to finding someway to get my mind off of Miyako, like how Tai's chest felt
so...ahem. Before I could do so, though, he turn his head back toward town and said, "We should probably
head back soon. Yamato's worried sick about you, and Sora'll kill me if she found me here with you." I
couldn't help but giggle at that. I could just see Yamato tearing up the place just because I was gone. I
giggled even more as I saw Sora towering over a chibi-Tai, chewing him out. I reluctantly let Tai drag me
back to Yamato's. The moment we turned back, though, I immediately thought about Miyako. I wiped away
some tears as I mouthed a few words to her, even though the only one around who'd actually be able to hear
or see them was Tai. *SIGH*
When I got back, most everyone was gone. Sora told me Takeru and Hikari had taken Miyako home. I'm
really not sure if that's the best idea, considering her parents views on l-le-les....you know what I mean.
She also told me that Daisuke was pissed beyond belief at me for hurting Miyako like that. I would never
have thought Daisuke liked Miyako that much. I thought he was still hung up on Hikari. Then again, just
about an hour ago, I would never have thought Miyako was a l-l-lesb-b-ian and was in love with me. Yamato
was relieved when Tai brought me back. Actually, that's not strong enough of a word. Imagine a two ton
vice grip and you'd get the idea of how hard Yamato hugged me when he saw me back here. Of course, Tai
didn't fare so well. I hope Sora didn't permanently damage his ears. I guess she still does have some
reason to be jealous, though. I didn't say anything else the whole night, still spent after dealing with
everything. Yamato's dad drove me back to the hotel where we were staying. Yamato tried to comfort me,
but all I wanted to do was forget this whole day. When I got back to the room, the only thing there to
comfort me was the broken glass stuck in my shoes from the cups both me and Miyako dropped that fateful
moment...
Most of the rest of the time I was there, I spent at the hotel. No shopping sprees, no parties, no
nights out with friends. Just sitting in our room, looming over everything. Miyako. Daisuke. Yamato.
Tai...Just everything. The times I did leave the hotel, I tried to stay as far away from the others as
possible. I did run into Daisuke by accident, who gave me an earful about what I did to Miyako, and how I
ruined everything he worked for trying to win her over. I cried myself to sleep that night, just like I did
"that night."
Right now, I'm on a plane, on my way back to New York. Maybe it's better I stay away from the other's
for a while. Within one day, I've managed to break one of my friends' heart and nearly drive her to kill
herself, lost another one due because of it, found hidden feelings for another come back from nowhere, and
risk driving another one away because of those feelings. I'm lucky me and my parents had to get separate
seats due to crowding. That way, they wouldn't have to see the inner turmoil I've had to deal with the
whole time I've been here. The only thing I've gotten that has been anywhere near comforting is the letter
Yamato-chan gave me before I left for the airport. It read:
"Dear Mimi,
I know I can't say I know what you're going through. I'm not sure if I, or anyone else, would want to
be able to, seeing how much pain you've gone through because of it. All I can say is that I know it's not
your fault, and I wish I could help. The kami know how much I would give to keep from seeing you get hurt.
I just wish I knew what to do. No one's seen Miyako for days. All we know is that her parents say she's
still home and okay, "okay" being a relative term. I really don't want to go into what everyone else has
been thinking, since I have no real idea. I just want you to know that I'll be there for you whenever I
can. I love you, and nothing can change that. Just don't blame yourself for anything. Things never work
out as anyone plans. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't be together. Remember, not matter what, I love you,
and I always will.
Signed,
Yamato
*SIGH* I wish it could be that simple, Yamato-chan. How'd you feel if you knew that Daisuke basically
has me on his hit list now, or that I'm starting to think of Taichi again? No, not Tai, the boy I love to
tease or prod, but Taichi, your used-to-be-and-now-possibly-present rival for my heart. How'd you feel if
you saw the way the Miyako I thought I knew died the moment I rejected her, shattered her heart, and left her
as good as dead emotionally? Would you still feel the same way?
The only thing I know anymore is that nothing I thought I knew is there anymore.
All that's left is shards of a scattered past and a scarred future....
The End...for now
*COUGH COUGH* I never realized how sick one can get from being stuck in a trash can for an hour and a half,
*COUGH COUGH* So how was that? Did that set you back a few boxes of tissues? I hope I don't get flack for
not doing an actual sequel, but I always liked thinking about what goes through people's heads through things
like this. If you're wondering, I did change some of the scenes revisited from "Broken Words." This was
because this time, you know it's Miyako telling her "I Love You" from the start. That, and this is from a
subjective, 1st person perspective. Don't worry, Miyako didn't attempt suicide again while she was holed up
in her house....or did she? That question and most discrepencies left in your minds plotwise will be cleared
up in "Shattered: Miyako's Story." I just wish I could get away from the dark romance stuff I keep writing.
Guess all I can say is that "One's art only reflects the artist's soul." That said, I think it is time for
me to get started on the next part. God and Miyako lovers, forgive me for all the pain I've set upon her.
That goes for you Mimi fans, too.
"It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved before."
-Anonymous
"Whoever said that obviously had never been in love."
-Kryptik
Oh, and if you're thinking what I think you might be, NO, I am not a lesbian, I am a male, and a pathetically
hopeless romantic. I just happen to relate somewhat to Miyako's plight: To love, but never be loved...God
I gotta get off these dark romances......
Just don't sue me for borrowing the character and all, since, again, this is merely a non-profit
fanfic, purely for entertainment use and the such. That, and I have nothing of value to sue for.
Authors Note: Due to the overwhelming demand by the fans of my last fic, Broken Words (All five
of them!), I am doing a pseudo-sequel to it. This fic is basically an overview of the circumstances
leading up to, during, and after Broken Words in a first-person view by one of the two main players
in that fic. That said, go read Broken Words if you haven't already (Don't worry, I'm gonna
re-upload the fic so it'll be close together with this one)! This one is in Mimi's POV. I will do
one for Miyako as well. Hopefully, this will not completely suck, as I tend to write crappier as my
works get longer. But enough of my ownshortcomings, lets get to the damn fic! Oh...yeah, I almost
forgot, there will be some profanity (as if you haven't noticed yet), but mainly in the form of the
D-word. Also, this has yuri (lesbian) content, so if you can't handle it, or your faith bars you
from reading such heathen writings, then LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOU BURN IN HELL!!!! I, on the other hand,
who will probably go to hell for subjecting poor Miyako to such anguish, shall go on with the fic.
Those who want to read or are allowed to read a fic such as this (...There are people who are reading
this still, right?), enjoy and please place all trash in the proper recepticles on your way out.
Thank you....wait, wait! I meant trash as in candy wrappers o-or Popcorn boxes! Hey! Put me down I
say!! The recepticles are not meant to hold human beiAHHHH!! *THOOM*
Legend:
"..." = Speech
"^...^" = Thought
*...* = Sound Effects
Abstract Productions Presents
A Hybrid Nation Fanfic
Digimon: Digital Monsters:
Shattered: Mimi's Story
By Kryptik
My name is Tachikawa Mimi, and what just happened a few days ago...I can't really describe.
All I know is that I can't get rid of this guilt that I have over the whole situation. I can't
believe that I let myself do that! I never meant for it to be like...like....THAT!!!...Oh, sorry.
Got carried away again, I guess. Maybe I should start from the beginning....
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I was visiting my friends back in Odaiba, Japan during a break in school. I had moved from
there to New York a few years ago after my dad's company transfered him to their U.S. branch. I
was soooooooo....ack. Sorry again. I keep doing that. Anyways, I was really excited to see them
again...well, under normal circumstances that is. Of course, the normal part flew right out the
window as I heard four words I never wanted to hear again: Trouble In The Digiworld. In case
you don't know (and why would you unless you've been there before, which I doubt), the Digital
World, or Digiworld, is basically the world within the computers where...Gods, I wish Koushiro
was here to explain this...*SIGH*. Well, anyways, long story short, it is a world within your
computer and all others. When we were ten years old, a group of kids, including me, were sucked
into the Digiworld. Turns out, we were all what were called "Digidestined," those who were
supposed to help save the Digiworld from all this crap happening there. Against all odds and
reasoning, we managed to do it, beating several evil creeps along the way with the help of our
Digital Monsters, or Digimon. Gods, all that Digi-crap gets annoying when you have to talk about
it. But back to what I was saying. I thought I left all that behind when we left the Digiworld
for the "last time." Not only was this not the last time there was trouble, but I end up getting
dragged back into the whole mess, even though I wasn't really a "Digidestined" anymore. Well, not
technically, since I couldn't really help that much more there, and....Dammit! I gotta stop
getting sidetracked like this! Guess my scatterbrain reputation is well deserved, *SIGH*...You
know, now that I think about it, I was really the person who suggested going back to the Digiworld
while I was there. But how was I to know we'd get attacked? I just wanted a picnic! Anyways, I
got separated from most of the new group of Digidestined when the Roachmon attacked us. The only
one left with me of the group was a purple-haired girl named Inoue Miyako. I...I...*SNIFF*. Sorry,
I just....Ahem! Like I was saying before, we had gotten separated from the group and were being
attacked by giant roach Digimon. I'm not sure what exactly happened during that time, but I could
swear that during that whole time, I felf something from her, some kind of odd feeling. Maybe
it was the look in her eyes after we fell on each other to avoid another attack. We just stared
at each other for a moment while we gathered our bearings, but, when I think about it, she had
an odd look in her eyes that one moment. I guess I tried to pawn it off as sisterly respect or
affection, or something along those lines. Either way, it would come back to haunt me.
I met up with the group again in the Digiworld a few weeks later. I had Michael, a friend
of mine from the U.S. who, conveniently, is Digidestined as well, with me. I even tried to set
Miyako up with him after we dealt with some creepy thing that attacked us. She blushed when
he asked her for a date. I thought it was because of him, but, looking back (once again), she
had been staring at me most of the time. She....DAMMIT!!!! Why didn't I see this sooner? Why
didn't I confront her about it? Gods, why didn't I do something about this whole damn thing
before it spiraled out of control?.....I know why. I tried to deny it. I tried to tell myself
that "She couldn't! She's supposed to be boy crazy and all that. She even has a crush on that
Ken Ichi...whatever." And Miyako paid the price for my denial....
The breaking point came a few days ago. It was summer vacation and I came to visit. It had
been a year since the second ordeal with the Digiworld blew over, and I came back to see how everyone
was. After all, a year can change everything, especially if you were part of a group who on a regular
basis travel to an electronic world to save it from whacked-out creatures and such. Everyone had
come to recieve me at the airport. I don't remember exactly what happened then, just a lost of
hugging and excited screaming, followed by annoyed groaning as the guys saw all my bags that they
had to carry for me, hee hee. I don't even really need all that luggage! I just bring it all
to annoy the guys, especially Taichi. That why I always make him carry the most. But anyways...
how many times have I said that? I sound like such an airhead...Gods I hate being introspective.
I always end up focusing on all my faults or mistakes. *SIGH*. But, like I was saying, they
threw a party for me at Yamato's, seeing as it had been a long time since they'd seen me. The fact
that I was possibly going to move back here made it even more festive. Yamato-chan was especially
happy. I forgot what he said to me, but I could swear that I could have been boiled for hours and
not be redder than my face was at that moment. Of course, I just had to get back at him. I won't go
into detail, but as I whispered into his ear, I could barely distinguish his face from the punch he had
to down to keep his composure. Hee hee, Yamato-chan is so fun to tease, especially when he gets so
flustered like that. Well, afterwards, I went to get some more punch, as Yamato seemed like he needed it
the cup I had more than I did. As I approached the punch bowl, I ran into Miyako. We started to talk
a bit and ended up drifting to a bench outside. We mostly talked about trivial stuff. She seemed
really happy until I asked her she had a boyfriend. Innocent enough question, ne? She grimaced
and dropped her head down a bit. I thought that just meant she had broken up with someone recently.
I put my arm around her to comfort her and asked her what happened. She slowly reach up to take my
arm from around her shoulder and faced me, giving me the most powerful stare all the while. Not
glaring, not longing, but just a stare with the strongest intent behind it. The converstation
went sort of like this
"Mimi, you know that we're both pretty good friends, right?" She said in a odd tone, one
I couldn't place at the time.
"Of course! I mean, why wouldn't we be. We're both Digidestined, we've known each other for
over a year now righmppphhh??!?!" I gushed until she put a finger to my lips to shut me up.
"Shhhhh, let me finish. Do you remember the first day we met?" She asked me in the same
suspicious tone, which was starting to unnerve me slightly.
"Uhhhh, yeah, so?" I answered oh so intelligently. I could see Miyako starting to tremble a
bit, for whatever reason, I didn't know at the time.
"It's just that....I....GODS, WHY CAN"T I SAY IT?!" She screamed, obviously over her stumbling
over whatever she wanted to say to me. Luckily, it wasn't loud enough to be heard over the party.
"I'm sorry, Mimi, but...but..." She trembled, burying her face into her hands. I was starting to
get worried about her, but what could I do if I didn't know what the hell was wrong?
"What's wrong Miyako-chan?" I asked in a fretting voice, not sure what to do at this point.
She flinched when she heard the "-chan" added to her name, though I didn't notice it at the time.
I guess I don't notice a lot of things until a lot later. Too late, in this case...
"Wrong. Heh, that's an understatement...You are going to hate me for this, Mimi-san. You
are really going to hate me for this." She muttered, her face still in her hands. That was about
the point I knew something was wrong.
"^Mimi-SAN? Why Mimi-SAN?^ Miyako, you're starting to scare me. Please tell me, what's
wrong?"
"Wrong? This is what's wrong." With that she put her arms around me and hugged me like her
life depended on it, which set off my danger sense completely. Then she brought her mouth close to my
ear and, barely above a whisper, said it...the words that will haunt me forever. The three innocent,
normally-wonderful words that turned both her life and mine to shit: "I Love You."
That was when all hell started to break loose.
I pushed her off me in surprise, dropping my glass in the process, eyes about as wide as ping-
pong balls, reeling in...horror? No, that's not it....more like, apprehension. After all, one of my
best friends, a girl, had just told me, upfront, in person, as bluntly as possible, that she loved me.
I don't know if I could of handled it better, but I know I couldn't of handled it worse. First, I tried
to act like I didn't just hear what I thought I just heard. "W-w-w-what'd you just say?"
"I said 'I Love You.'" she said, deliberately, calmly, and yet, sadly.
Seeing that I didn't just hear her wrong, I tried to make sense of what should be the three easiest
words in any language to understand. "W-w-w-what do you mean 'love me?' You mean like s-s-sisterly
l-l-love, right?" I sputtered nervously, not wanting to really know the answer. Miyako's face, which fell
the moment I pushed out of her hug, probably was around rock bottom at this point.
"No, I mean love as in 'I wan't to be with you every single moment' type of love. Love as in 'I want
to spend the rest of my life with you.' Love as in 'I can't live anymore without you!' Love...as in
'Tearing myself apart because I know there is proabably no way that you would love me like that back...."
That last sentence still stabs through me life a knife every time I remember it. The way she said it, the
way it looked like she would break down right there. It had been like she had already given up all hope.
When she regained her composure, she brought her hand up as if to cup my face with it. I did nothing, still
trying to make sense out of all of this, idly wondering why no one had come out to check on us.
"Bu-bu-but you...me...we're both...we can't!" If anything sent her straight through rock bottom at
that point, that was probably it.
"I know it's wrong, but I don't care. I don't care if the others, my family, hell, even the kami
themselves hunt me down. Ever since the day we met. Ever since that whole thing in the Digital World with
the Roachmon. Ever since then, I've been in love with you. You were so kind, so beautiful, so..."
"no, no, No, NO, NO! Just stop it!" By this time, I had heard all I could handle at that moment,
and I did probably the worst thing I could have possibly done. "I'm sorry, but I like you, Miyako. I like
you a lot. But not...like...THAT!" Looking back, I could see how every word of that last senctece drove
through her like a red hot spear. "I mean, were both GIRLS, for kami's sake! How could..." I stopped
right about then when I heard something. I turn to Miyako and saw her sniffling. Soon enough she was flat
out bawling. The look on her face...God, I felt so sick, how could I have done that to her?! I tried to
grab her and get her to stop crying but before I could even touch her she shoved me out of the way and
sprinted down the street sobbing all the way. I mean....gods, Miyako, I'm am so sorry. *SNIFF* I am so
sorry.....I need a tissue...
I started to run after her just as everyone else had come out to see what my whole outburst was about.
Hikari and Takeru were the first ones to notice me running off and that Miyako was missing. Well, I'd guess
they were since they were the first of them to reach....never mind. I have no idea how long I ran, yelling
out Miyako's name. I was getting tired, and my throat threatened to give out on me, until I came up to a
bridge. That's where I saw her...sitting on the railing, looking down into the water. I hid behind I tree
to hide from her. Who know what might have happened if she saw me? As I watched her, I saw her stand up
and spread her arms out. My God, I thought she was about to jump. I almost screamed after her, but my
words caught in my throat, sore from the yelling I did looking for her. Maybe it was for the better.
Before she could jump, she dropped of the railing and back onto the bridge, curling up in a little ball. I
was about to go run to her, but then she said something...no, actually, she sang something...in English.
I listen to the words, and though some of it I couldn't understand (....OK, SO I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND PART
OF IT! ENGLISH IS A HARD LANGUAGE TO LEARN, EVEN IF YOU DO LIVE IN THE U.S.!!), the parts I could stunned
me.
"^Sweet little hands? W-walking away? Is she singing about me?^" I listened to the rest of the
song, thinking just how appropriate it was considering the situation. "^Broken words? More like shattered.
I shattered all of her meaningful words, all her emotion, shattered her heart, for what?^" Before I could
reflect on it any more, I heard Hikari and Takeru running towards here. I hid behind the tree so they
couldn't see me, either. As I watched, I saw Miyako virtually collapse into Hikari's arms, sobbing about
the whole damn thing. I think that was something neither of them, or any of us, for that matter, coudld
handle: An emotionally out-of-control Miyako. God know I couldn't handle an emotional Miyako. Once
they calmed her down slightly, they started to slowly make their way back to Yamato's. All I could do was
just stand there, thinking of what I had just made Miyako do. "^She was going to jump! She was going to
kill herself, because of my tactlessness and thoughtlessness. She would be dead because I couldn't handle
her being in love with me...^ God, I'm sorry Miyako. I am so sorry." I realize I probably sound like a
broken record right now, but if you felt as guilty over this whole situation as I did, you'd be apoligizing
profusely, too. I would have cried right about then, except for the fact that someone I never would have
expected to come after me did.
"Mimi? Where are you Mimi?" When I heard that voice, my mind spun faster than it was already.
"^Tai? Why would he come after me?^" I didn't have enough time to ask as he ran up to the tree where
I had been hiding. Normally, I would I have tried to make a dumb comment about his hair or some kind of
taunting remark, but this wasn't exactly the kind of moment to do that. The only think I could do was fall
into his arms and cry. Surprisingly, he did nothing to stop me. He just put his arms around me and let me
cry into his shoulder. I don't know why, but for a fleeting moment, I wondered if I had missed something by
going after Yamato insted of him. Before I my mind could follow that path any further, I broke the silence
between us, before I completely soaked his shirt. "God, Tai, I didn't want her to try and kill herself. I
never meant..." I sobbed before Tai stopped me.
"Shhhh, you did all you could."
"Then why couldn't I stop her?" I choked out.
"No one could have known she would try and do that, and you know that!"
"Then why do I still feel like this is all my fault?" I was surprised when he suddenly grabbed me by
the shoulders and shook me a couple of times.
"It is not your fault! It isn't anyone's fault." He yelled, then whispered as he hugged me again.
"Please, just realize it's not your fault." All I did was nod my head a bit as I cried into his chest. I
probably would have gone back to finding someway to get my mind off of Miyako, like how Tai's chest felt
so...ahem. Before I could do so, though, he turn his head back toward town and said, "We should probably
head back soon. Yamato's worried sick about you, and Sora'll kill me if she found me here with you." I
couldn't help but giggle at that. I could just see Yamato tearing up the place just because I was gone. I
giggled even more as I saw Sora towering over a chibi-Tai, chewing him out. I reluctantly let Tai drag me
back to Yamato's. The moment we turned back, though, I immediately thought about Miyako. I wiped away
some tears as I mouthed a few words to her, even though the only one around who'd actually be able to hear
or see them was Tai. *SIGH*
When I got back, most everyone was gone. Sora told me Takeru and Hikari had taken Miyako home. I'm
really not sure if that's the best idea, considering her parents views on l-le-les....you know what I mean.
She also told me that Daisuke was pissed beyond belief at me for hurting Miyako like that. I would never
have thought Daisuke liked Miyako that much. I thought he was still hung up on Hikari. Then again, just
about an hour ago, I would never have thought Miyako was a l-l-lesb-b-ian and was in love with me. Yamato
was relieved when Tai brought me back. Actually, that's not strong enough of a word. Imagine a two ton
vice grip and you'd get the idea of how hard Yamato hugged me when he saw me back here. Of course, Tai
didn't fare so well. I hope Sora didn't permanently damage his ears. I guess she still does have some
reason to be jealous, though. I didn't say anything else the whole night, still spent after dealing with
everything. Yamato's dad drove me back to the hotel where we were staying. Yamato tried to comfort me,
but all I wanted to do was forget this whole day. When I got back to the room, the only thing there to
comfort me was the broken glass stuck in my shoes from the cups both me and Miyako dropped that fateful
moment...
Most of the rest of the time I was there, I spent at the hotel. No shopping sprees, no parties, no
nights out with friends. Just sitting in our room, looming over everything. Miyako. Daisuke. Yamato.
Tai...Just everything. The times I did leave the hotel, I tried to stay as far away from the others as
possible. I did run into Daisuke by accident, who gave me an earful about what I did to Miyako, and how I
ruined everything he worked for trying to win her over. I cried myself to sleep that night, just like I did
"that night."
Right now, I'm on a plane, on my way back to New York. Maybe it's better I stay away from the other's
for a while. Within one day, I've managed to break one of my friends' heart and nearly drive her to kill
herself, lost another one due because of it, found hidden feelings for another come back from nowhere, and
risk driving another one away because of those feelings. I'm lucky me and my parents had to get separate
seats due to crowding. That way, they wouldn't have to see the inner turmoil I've had to deal with the
whole time I've been here. The only thing I've gotten that has been anywhere near comforting is the letter
Yamato-chan gave me before I left for the airport. It read:
"Dear Mimi,
I know I can't say I know what you're going through. I'm not sure if I, or anyone else, would want to
be able to, seeing how much pain you've gone through because of it. All I can say is that I know it's not
your fault, and I wish I could help. The kami know how much I would give to keep from seeing you get hurt.
I just wish I knew what to do. No one's seen Miyako for days. All we know is that her parents say she's
still home and okay, "okay" being a relative term. I really don't want to go into what everyone else has
been thinking, since I have no real idea. I just want you to know that I'll be there for you whenever I
can. I love you, and nothing can change that. Just don't blame yourself for anything. Things never work
out as anyone plans. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't be together. Remember, not matter what, I love you,
and I always will.
Signed,
Yamato
*SIGH* I wish it could be that simple, Yamato-chan. How'd you feel if you knew that Daisuke basically
has me on his hit list now, or that I'm starting to think of Taichi again? No, not Tai, the boy I love to
tease or prod, but Taichi, your used-to-be-and-now-possibly-present rival for my heart. How'd you feel if
you saw the way the Miyako I thought I knew died the moment I rejected her, shattered her heart, and left her
as good as dead emotionally? Would you still feel the same way?
The only thing I know anymore is that nothing I thought I knew is there anymore.
All that's left is shards of a scattered past and a scarred future....
The End...for now
*COUGH COUGH* I never realized how sick one can get from being stuck in a trash can for an hour and a half,
*COUGH COUGH* So how was that? Did that set you back a few boxes of tissues? I hope I don't get flack for
not doing an actual sequel, but I always liked thinking about what goes through people's heads through things
like this. If you're wondering, I did change some of the scenes revisited from "Broken Words." This was
because this time, you know it's Miyako telling her "I Love You" from the start. That, and this is from a
subjective, 1st person perspective. Don't worry, Miyako didn't attempt suicide again while she was holed up
in her house....or did she? That question and most discrepencies left in your minds plotwise will be cleared
up in "Shattered: Miyako's Story." I just wish I could get away from the dark romance stuff I keep writing.
Guess all I can say is that "One's art only reflects the artist's soul." That said, I think it is time for
me to get started on the next part. God and Miyako lovers, forgive me for all the pain I've set upon her.
That goes for you Mimi fans, too.
"It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved before."
-Anonymous
"Whoever said that obviously had never been in love."
-Kryptik
Oh, and if you're thinking what I think you might be, NO, I am not a lesbian, I am a male, and a pathetically
hopeless romantic. I just happen to relate somewhat to Miyako's plight: To love, but never be loved...God
I gotta get off these dark romances......