Tenesis
It was just like any other day on the Seigaku tennis courts when suddenly Tezuka noticed everyone was letting their guards down.
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded in his most outraged voice, which was ever so inflexed to indicate his anger. "Why have you all let your guards down?"
"At what point did we let our guards down?" Fuji inquired.
Tezuka sighed and looked as disappointed as Tezuka can look. "I'm afraid you've all lost the spirit of tennis."
There was a collective gasp among the group.
"How can you say that?" Eiji said as his eyes welled up with tears.
"How do we get it back?" Oishi questioned since he was prepared to take Tezuka's word as the truth.
"You might never get it back," said Tezuka as he turned around and started walking away dramatically.
Needless to say, the entire team was quite distressed by this sudden loss of faith from their beloved captain. They hardly had the strength to finish their practice, especially since Tezuka was gone, so they decided to end early.
The next day, at tennis practice, Tezuka was there.
"Tezuka, we want to get the spirit of tennis back!" announced Taka ambitiously.
"Well, in order to do that, you must all freshen up on your Tenesis studies," Tezuka announced.
"Tenesis?" nearly all of them repeated.
Tezuka looked as shocked as Tezuka can look. "You haven't read Tenesis?"
"What is Tensis?" questioned Inui. "I've never even heard of it."
"It's the story of the origins of tennis," Tezuka answered. "I am baffled as to how all of you have been functioning as successful tennis players without having read Tenesis."
"Can you read it to us?" Momo asked. "I don't want to be uninformed anymore."
"Yeah!" cheered the rest of the team.
"Very well," said Tezuka as he whipped out a book from his back pocket since he clearly carries it around with him everywhere he goes. He opened it up to the first page and began reading:
In the beginning, God created the court.
Now the court was formless and empty, out wide in the open, and God hovered over the surface and said, "Let there be fences," and there were fences. God saw the court was good, and He separated the court from the fields. God called the court "tennis" and the field he called "not tennis." And there was time for tennis, and there was time for tennis to end—the first day.
And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the two sides of the court." So God made the expanse and separated the two halves of the court in half. And it was so. God called the expanse "nets." And there were poles and there was division—the second day.
And God said, "Let the courts on either sides of the nets have lines to indicate the service areas and the bounds." And it was so. God called the space inside the lines "in bounds" and the space outside the lines "out of bounds." And God saw that it was good.
The God said, "Let there be places for spectators to sit and watch and commentate, according to their various teams." And it was so. From the earth sprung benches strategically located behind the fences. And God saw that it was good. And there were seats and benches—the third day.
And God said, "Let there be a place to seat a referee at the marking of the net to observe the separation between the two sides of the court, and let him serve as a sign to mark whether something is in bounds or our of bounds." And it was so. God made whistles and insane hand gestures with which the referee could gain attention. He also made striped shirts. God set him in the expanse of the space above the courts, to govern each side of the court, and separate the two sides." And there were seats and whistles—the fourth day.
And God said, "Let each side of the court teem with living creatures, and let teams sit on either side to observe their teammates." So God created benches for which teams to sit, to bear their team colors and to cheer on their respective teammates. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in size and fill the benches." And there were jerseys and water bottles—the fifth day.
And God said, "Let the courts provide space for tennis racquets and balls according to their kinds: tennis balls to sail back and forth, and racquets with which to hit them." And it was so. God made the instruments of tennis according to their kind. And God saw that it was good.
Then God said, "Let us make tennis players in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the hallways of middle school and streets of the ghetto, over soccer players, football players and all other sports that move along the ground."
So God created tennis players in his own image, in the image of God he created him; only male he created them.
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the soccer players, football players and all other sports that move along the ground."
Then God said, "I give you every magic super human ability on the face of the whole earth. They will be yours to utilize and create new and interesting tennis moves with which to entertain your viewers." And it was so.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Thus the courts and tennis were completed in their vast array.
By the seventh day, God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy. And it was good.
Tezuka finally closed the book and looked up to see his listeners were eagerly hanging on his every word.
"That's it?" demanded Momo upon the completion of his captain's narration.
"The next chapter is about the origins of famous tennis players called Federer and Sharpova," Tezuka said.
"I suddenly feel swelled with the strength to play tennis!" announced whatever player hasn't spoken yet.
All the players all frolicked off to play some more tennis and, Tezuka, feeling satisfied in his quest to inspire his teammates yet again, put his copy of Tensis back into his pocket where it would be safe.
And, on the eighth day, God created Ryoma, the Prince of Tennis, and he saw that it was good.
.....
Hey guys, I know this was horrible and everything, but it was just something I've been thinking about for actually several years now but never actually did because the idea was stupid, but at least now I've got it out of my head and can focus on things not related to The Bible. (I used the word "but" three times in that sentence.) Also, I'm pretty sure The Bible is copyrighted, so... I don't own The Bible. Or Prince of Tennis.