Kirby looked at his magnificent shoes and thought to himself about being a total nuisance. "This would be quite fun and funny!" he said to himself in shady, mischievous tone.

Mario and Luigi were walking by talking about the potential for newcomers ever since Daddy Sakurai's big announcement. "It's gotta be K. Rool, my bro," said Luigi.

"Don't-a be cuckoo, Luigi!" snapped Mario. "We all know Ridley is the way to go!"

"It's not gonna happen, Mario. He's too big."

Yoshi trotted up and did a little dance while he sang his name. Mario and Luigi looked at each other with annoyed glares. Moments later they both uppercutted Yoshi into oblivion. Fox and Falco had seen the assault and zipped over to see what the problem was.

"Oh, Yoshi was just-a being Yoshi again…" mumbled Mario.

"Just because his name is 'Rex' doesn't mean he's a dinosaur… That idiot…" said Luigi.

Falco took a sip of his bread-flavoured shake and suddenly spewed the whole load out in shock. The other three were now covered in the gross stuff. "What was that for?" growled Fox.

Falco coughed and struggled to point at what had irked him so. The three turned around and what they saw was one of the most disturbing things ever to exist in this universe.

Kirby was slowly approaching his fellow smash buddies. But this Kirby had removed a defining quality that prevented certain doom from having its way across smashdom. Yes, Kirby had ditched his crimson little loafers and it was truly a sight to behold.

"What has he done!?" cried Luigi. It was the most terrifying thing he had ever laid his eyes upon and he's seen some pretty messed up junk in his lifetime.

"Mama Mia! Kirby is exposing his-a tiny pink toes!" wailed Mario. He immediately ran away as fast as he could. Luigi followed, bawling huge salty droplets in between gasping yelps.

Falco wiped his beak and turned to Fox. "What do we do now, Foxy?" he said worriedly.

Fox clenched his teeth nervously. "Do we fight it or does any sudden movements on our part seal our horrific fates?"

"I don't wanna be the first one to find out!"

Kirby gave a cute smile and continued to tantalisingly lope toward the two space animals. Each step produced an unpleasant sound as the miniscule particles in the sand pathway rubbed up and down and across the bare pink sole. "Hey fellas! Wanna play some Smash Tour?"

Fox gulped. The pressure was already setting in and magnifying exponentially with each passing moment. How long would he and his avian friend survive?

"Or maybe we should stop by Sandbag's place and do a little homerunning!" Kirby stopped advancing and lifted his right foot, caressing it in his stubby pink hand and running it up and down each individual digit in a mesmerising manner.

"Keep away!" cried Fox as he and Falco readied their blasters.

Kirby cocked a sly smile and lowered his foot. He wiggled his phalanges and they began to visibly collect dusty sediment underneath the nails. Fox and Falco became more and more hypnotised by the acute tingle Kirby produced with his toes.

"Fox… that blaster won't do nothing!" laughed Kirby in a cute, innocent-feigning smirk. He resumed his approach. "And Falco doesn't have the guts to pull that trigger, am I correct in assuming?"

"I said to stay back!" roared Fox. His arms weak as Mama Luigi's spaghetti.

"Don't try me!" taunted Falco, hoping to buy the two of them some more time. But for what? Would they ever find the opportunity to escape this terrifying encounter?

"Oh, Foxy! Time to play with your favourite Star Ally!" cooed Kirby. Moments later, Fox was met with Kirby firmly grasping him by the collar. Falco gasped and pointed his gun at the pink nightmare. How did Kirby move so fast?

"I've been looking forward to this, starboy," said the pudgy puffball with a sneer. He flipped his body and slammed his feet into Fox's face, pummeling him with ten toes worth of damage. Fox fell to the ground, stunned and defeated.

Falco began to let loose tears. No amount of intergalactic trekking had prepared him for this moment. Kirby had become the beast that the ancient texts had described to even be feared by Tabuu himself.

"Blimey! Just do your worst and leave us alone!" wailed Falco. He dropped his gun. His dignity was shattered, and there was nothing left for him to even want to risk.

"You are such a silly bird aren't you?" giggled Kirby as he sidled up close to Falco and slowly drew his right collection of digits across Falco's metal leg and up towards his beak. Falco emitted a light chirp, but Kirby quickly clasped the bill shut with his first and second toes. He whispered a light shush into his ear. "Looks like you're off your game, Falco…"

All of a sudden, redemption was bestowed upon the poor peregrine. A hearty fist flew through the air and slammed into Kirby, knocking him off and doing major damage. Kirby rolled across the ground and landed in a puddle off mud.

Falco gasped and looked up at his saviour. It was Little Mac!

"Even without a reliable recovery, you can still count on these fists to fly, Falco!" said Mac.

Donkey Kong and Link arrived as well. Mario and Luigi followed soon after. "We brought backup, guys!" shouted Mario.

"Grab your friend and get, kid!" said Donkey Kong. "Leave this atrocity extermination to the big leagues!"

Falco obeyed and scooped up his fallen teammate. He ran back over to Mario and Luigi. "We can save him, pal. We know a good doctor," said Luigi kindly.

Kirby growled and slowly crawled his way out of the mud puddle. He was covered from head to toe in brown, slippery gunk and boiling mad with dreamy rage. "I'll make you wish you never crossed me, old-timers… I'll lick you clean with my dirty digits. I'll beat you senseless with my heels. I'll stick my toes in your eyes and down your throats! I'LL MAKE YOU ALL RUE THE DAY YOU CHALLENGED MY OMNIPOTENCE!"

"Come at us, you swine!" barked Link as he got into Z-targeting position.

"I can already hear that chocolate bar callin'," said Mac's inner Doc Louis spirit as he posed primed for victory.

"Time to stop meddling in the affairs of the weak, Kirby!" said DK, charging up his Giant Punch. "It's time you've learned the world shan't bend to your wicked deeds. Time for a good old-fashioned throwdown, I say!"

"Then have at you…" snarled Kirby as he wiggled his toes, slapping mud in between each crevice and further coating his terrifying display of pure brutality.

What followed was the most explosive and volatile smash match of all time. And there were no survivors…

FIN