AN: This could work and I'll edit it later. This is after Dead Beat for Harry, and spoilers for all the books in the Bloodlines series.

My copy of Skin Game still isn't here. I'm writing to compensate my pain.

tumblr: conjure-at-your-own-risk

Disclaimer: I am not Jim Butcher nor Richelle Mead.

Title: Witch's Worry

Word Count: 1K

Summary: "My girlfriend's been kidnapped," the vampire said. His green eyes were scarily bright. "Help me find her." Weren't four vampire courts bad enough?

"You have got to be freaking kidding me!" I slammed the trapdoor to my mysterious lair shut and threw the skull a dirty look. That was it, I was going to start take away romance novels for bad behavior. "There's another court?"

The twin orange lights lit up inside the skull, and they flickered from side to side. "What the Council defines as a court may be different from what..." His words trailed off. "What? Some things are a need to know basis. Your puny mortal mind would have a hard time working when all of those comfy walls get knocked down. The things you don't know is a very long list, Harry."

A painful headache was building up behind my eyes. I shut them and rubbed my face, as if that would make the newfound stress go away. "I don't want there to be more vampires. Vampires suck."

"Which D-List asked you for their help?" Bob asked. The lights flared and they became the cloud of twinkling and curious specks of orange. "I'm telling you, Boss. There are as many vampires out there as there are flavors of ice cream."

"Is that supposed to help me or something?" I looked through my bookshelves and started piling books that were on vampires. There had to be something more about this.

Earlier today I had a new client. He was young, supernaturally good looking, and was looking for a missing girlfriend. The neighborhood friendly vampire wasn't anything like the Black, White, or Red Court. He could handle some amount of sunlight, drank blood but could also eat human food, and would age like any mortal would. I know, right? What nice sounding bloodsuckers.

But he also had mind whammy powers and that was what worried me.

Jesus Christ, a whole court of vampires that could do some form of elemental or sensitive neuromancy magic. What's next? I tell you. What's going to be next?

I relayed Bob the information because the kid wasn't able to give me much. He had no clue about the other vampires courts, and he'd only just learned that witches were a thing. In fact, his girlfriend has a good amount of magical power, and the boyfriend had clearly expressed his worry if the kidnappers found that out.

Star-crossed romances, they never end well. Bonus points for a human-vampire romance, too. They could only end in pain and broken hearts, and that I should know.

"Sounds like the Moroi," Bob said. "They're just like you and the human race. Except, you know, the whole blood drinking and magic powers thing. Council sees them as a benign thing, and I think they were stemmed from the same thing that the Red Court originated from. Nothing much to worry about, unless they drink all of your blood. Then you're screwed."

"Could they turn me?" I shivered at the idea. The life that I would be living as a wizard seemed long enough. The last thing that I needed on my plate was a taste for A-Positive. That would only give Morgan more of a reason to chop off my head.

"When a mommy Moroi and a daddy Moroi love each other so very much—"

"Bob!" I snapped.

"Well, when a Moroi gets a little too hungry, they become the cousins of the Red and Black Court—the Strigoi." Bob paused. "Evil little bastards but the Moroi use their half-human kids to silver stake 'em while they themselves are fed from silver spoons. What a screwy system."

"The girlfriend's human," I said, making a mental note to get some silver stakes in an emergency. I wasn't going to risk my luck in this. "But I don't know if we'll be going up against any Strigoi." I stopped speaking and waited for Bob to continue about the other bombshell, one that now made me want to walk up to the Council and talk about keeping people in the loop. "Guess what else I found out?"

"That the Moroi don't sparkle?" Bob guessed.

I shook my head.

"That the dhampirs are complete badasses?"

I shook my head head again.

"That there's a group of humans that know about vampires?" Bob said.

Bingo. I nodded.

"Blame Twilight?" Bob's voice turned strained. "Shit, come on, Boss. It's almost common knowledge. Just because you guys have the sage wizardy wisdoms and cool powers doesn't mean that you guys get to have all of the fun."

"Alchemists, Bob! They know about vampires, they know about magic!"

"And I'm sure that the Council still has a strained relationship with them. Don't muck that up, too."

I glared at him. "What? Do you actually expect me to walk in one of their basis and set it on fire?"

"But it worked so well the first time!"

"They've already tried tacking spells," I said, making my way back the topic. Bianca's masquerade party would forever be a touchy topic. I opened one book and got a face full of dust. I blinked the dust away from my eyes and started flipping pages. "He's worried about what could happen if he takes it to his guys, their Court. They also have trouble getting along with the Alchemists." I sighed and collapsed in my chair with the book about Russian folklore in my hand.

"And who told him to go to you?" Bob asked. "Harry, keep this up and you'll be the most predictable wizard out there."

"It was the girlfriend's teacher who mentioned me."

"And they heard you from all the way out in California?" Bob made a whistling sound. "Man, I say we go international next!"

"Shut up, Bob," I commanded and went back to my book. I have a witch to go rescue and another group of people to piss off. This was going to become my MO: get involve with some vampires, save some people, and set something on fire while getting more powerful people angry.

I was starting to really hate vampires.