Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Just a fan with too much free time.

Prologue: Catalysts of Reminiscence

"I… I'm sorry", said Snape. Barely above a whisper.

"Save your breath!", was his once best friend's scathing reply. She'd been crying, Snape realized, noticing the tears drying on her flushed cheeks. She bit her bottom lip just as she always did, when trying to hold back the tears. She was trying to be strong. He would not make her feel for him again.

"The only reason I'm entertaining this is because Mary said you'd threaten to sleep here. It's over Severus, ", gone was her term of endearment, "go back to your Death Eater friends! See? You don't even deny it!", she ground out.

"I'm sorry", said Snape, much more audible.

"Don't bother Snape, you've chosen your path, I've chosen mine. Goodbye", she said as evenly as she could before turning to head back into the portrait.

"I'm sorry", Snape said, desperation creeping into his voice. But she never turned back as the portrait closed behind her.

Severus woke up with a startle. It's the forth time since the summer holidays began that he had that dream. He was in Spinners End. The house where he grew up.

He mused that being in such proximity to where he'd first met her was the likely reason. His subconscious reminding himself of the last time he spoke to her, because he was near the place where they first spoke. Irony.

Lounging around his childhood home, reminiscing and reliving old hopes, dreams and nightmares was hardly his preferred idea to spend the holidays. Normally he would invest his time in doing freelance work for Saint Mungo's. Namely their department of research and development for Portions and Magical Recovery. But Dumbledore insisted, "You need rest Severus. Starting this year, I will be needing you to fulfill your promise on protecting the Boy. For that I need you at your best and refreshed. A few months away from work will be ideal."

Severus gave a bemused chuckle. 'The old man must assume I enjoy this,' he thought. But that isn't the case, is it? In fact, work was is escape. Escape from the realization of the futility of his own life.

He rubbed off a light layer of sweat from his forehead and neck. It was a relatively warm summer. Knowing how difficult sleep was for him, he didn't even try going back. After accio' ing his wand he cast a quick tempus to ascertained the time. 3:00 am in lazy grey letters shone in front of him. Sighing, he slid out of bed.

Perhaps a walk? Since he'd been condemned to reminisce this summer, he'd at least deserve to do so away from the plastic customs of society.

He'd always been a minimalist at heart. Doesn't mean that he particularly minded the relatively lavish furnishings of his quarters at Hogwarts, but also didn't mean he'd be bothered about refurnishing this place. Summoning a bottle of firewhisky from the cellar, where they'd been stored with a refridgement charm, he head out.

A cold hard drink always helped soothed his nerves whenever he couldn't sleep. Especially now. It was colder outside. Savouring the burning sensation of the alcohol in his throat against the sudden cool breeze down the footpath sharpened his senses.

Grimacing, he pulled the sleeve up of his long sleeved dark sleep shirt. And there it was. The barest of visible outlines. It would have totally hidden in the soft moonlight if he hadn't known. If he hadn't had felt the burning sensation first hand during the war. The sensation was subtle, a soft tingling on the edge of a match flame. But it might as well have been a burning inferno for what it entailed.

He was tempted to tell Dumbledore when the first signs of the mark appeared towards the end of May. But the old man had known, hadn't he? He'd known since day one. Heck, he even probably knows more than Severus would ever.

Severus took another long swig of the firewhisky and realized that his legs, as it now autopilot, taken him to the play park where he had first seen. He glanced over at where the bush he would having been hiding in had been. The park had had several redesigns and renovations. Luckily for him the set of swings where they had spent many a late afternoon after supper watching the sunset, both before Hogwarts and during their summer holidays just enjoying being within each others proximity, had been left intact and unscathed.

The worn old rope of the swing groaned at the weight of a grown man. Severus was hardly heavy when compared to the average British male, but these were not made to support someone like him. He flicked his wand to reinforce the ropes before taking another swig. Severus felt silly all of a sudden, being a grown man, but that was fleeting as it was replaced by a sharp sting of grief as he glanced at the empty seat beside him. How many a late afternoon had he sat here alongside her, watching the sun set. Sometimes his hand in hers. Lily had always been a very emotive person, oftentimes expressing the affection she had for others. Even as a child, he remembered fondly, the wet kisses she used to plant on his cheek when she hadn't seen him for a particularly long time.

Ironically, as we has remembering their experience of watching the sun set together, he noticed the the sun was just beginning to peak above the horizon of the lake signaling dawn.

Something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. Was that, an owl? And is it carrying mail? In Spinners End? He clearly hadn't had enough to drink to impair his cognitive abilities, he had a surprisingly high tolerance to alcohol for someone of his weight and build. But a magical household living in such a historically muggle and rotten neighborhood seemed rather odd.

He internally cussed at himself. Of course there could be wizarding folk here. Was there any set rule against it? It was around that time that new students to Hogwarts got their first acceptance letters. And besides, it was headed towards to relatively more posh part of the neighborhood anyway, toward…. Wait? The Evans' old place. Could it? He felt a pang of guilt at not remembering whatever happened to Mr. and Mrs. Evans, the only 2 adults to have ever shown his kindness as a child, but could they still be there?

His curiosity got the better of him, egging him on to see for himself. He felt rather silly himself, but an odd nagging feeling at the back of his head forced him to leave his seat at the swing and find out……