I'm Getting Nothin for Christmas
By Lady Lestrange
Disclaimer: OK the song doesn't belong to me and neither do any of the references to JK's characters and events. Thanks for letting us play in your world, JK.
This is a Random Death Eater's version:
Probably sung by Ethan and Edward Lestrange. If you don't know who they are, you need to read, THE SEERS' TRUTH: THE BROKEN BEGINNING AND
THE SEERS' TRUTH: BEYOND THE DARKNESS.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
That Sorting Hat and stool I took.
A Gryfindor snitched on me
In the girls' bath took a look
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Set fire to the shrieking shack
Tied Hagrid to a dragon's back
Turned Filch into a kitty snack
A Gryffindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Turned Lupin's potion into soup
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Put Vector in an endless loop
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Tied some knots in the giant squid
Tortured someone's little kid
Poked holes in all the caldron lids
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
I stole Auror Moody's eye
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Told Voldie that Snape was a spy
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Shaved the whiskers from Albus' face
Put Flitwick in the Quaffle case
Filled the potions' shower with mace
A Gryffindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Sinistra got a mem'ry charm
A Gryfindor snitched on me
St. Mungos keeps her out of harm.
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Painted Harry's special map.
Told Binns that he should take a nap
Put a dog on McGonagall's lap
A Gryfindor snitched on me.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
I traded wands with Dumbledore
A Gryfindor snitched on me.
Told Peeves to give the first year tour
A Gryfindor snitched on me
I told Binns that he had died
And Dumbledore his phoenix fried.
Trelawney in the Prophecy lied
A Gryfindor snitched on me.
I'm getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
I'm getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
I scourgified the Baron's robe
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Turned Ron's rat into a toad
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Killed a bunch of muggles dead
Put some fleas in McGonagall's bed
Shaved Draco Malfoy's pointed head
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Dragged the merfolk out on land
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Put termites in the Quiddich stands
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Turned Hooche's broom into a flare
Broke Erised's mirror on a dare
Set fire to Snape's underwear
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Charmed mistletoe to follow Snape
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Wrapped Harry's scar in spell-o-tape
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Painted white masks red and gold
Told the house elves they were sold
Filled the kitchen plates with mold
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Turned Sprouts' little seedlings brown
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Chopped the whomping willow down
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Put Flitwick's stool just out of reach
Gave Snape a portkey to the beach
Doused the Death Eaters robes with bleach
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Infected Poppy with the flu
A Gryfindor snitched on me
I buried her in greenhouse 2.
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Gave Sprout a witch-eating flower
Should have seen her cry and cower.
She jumped off the Astronomy Tower
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Put switching charms on the Requirement Room
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Now in there you'll meet your doom
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Nick should know Sinistra's dead
I nearly severed her screaming head
Now I wonder what she said,
A Gryfindor snitched on me.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Gave that Snake a glamour charm
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Pulled the Gringott's fire alarm
A Gryfindor snitched on me
I Predicted Trelawney's doom
Burnt up Harry's Quiddich broom
Locked Draco in that Muggle room
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
Told Albus I would make repairs
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Instead nailed down the moving stairs
A Gryfindor snitched on me
Roasted Hedgewig like a goose
Turned all Minerva's hedgehogs loose.
Told Harry, Voldie wants a truce
A Gryfindor snitched on me
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. All of the teachers are mad.
We're getting nothin' for Christmas. 'Cause we ain't been nothin' but bad.
(You have to read "My name is Severus" by Silverfox to get this joke. Of course, you should do that AFTER YOU HAVE READ ALL OF MY STUFF.--Lady Lestrange)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!