WOOT WOOT
DID SOMEONE SAY SONELISE ANGST
a fact: i make you cry. the end.
also there's hamilrefs in the first pagebreak and royal tears but yknow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Enjoy, ya sonelise shippers!
Elise giggles just as Sonic seemingly-on-purpose butchers through the first ten numbers in Greek. At his request, she's been teaching him a little of the different languages in Soleanna. Her mother was a princess from a faraway kingdom, so when she'd married her father, residents of her maiden home moved to stay in their kingdom. In short, cultures clashed and different languages were brought to attention. There are several that're spoken now, but since many of their citizens are bilingual, Elise naturally grew to learn the main three; English, Greek, and Italian.
Sonic has a fun time thoroughly mutilating all of them.
"En-ah, Sonic," she reprimands lightly. They're sitting at the piano in her study, mainly because he can play a mean Für Elise ("Don't you mean for Elise?") and secondly because she's trying to teach him the same way her mother did for her. "Ena, and then Dio, and Tria. Here," she says before he can open his mouth. She settles in her seat, cracks her knuckles, and then hovers both of her hands on the keys. "Repeat after me."
She starts by playing two ascending keys, before going back three and playing that note, then back to the original second, and it repeats with the notes progressively getting higher.
"Ena, Dio, Tria, Tess-er-a."
He catches on to what she's playing and grins, playing the lower octave right beside her. "—Tria, Tess-er-a," he repeats.
She beams. "Good! Pen-te, Exi, Epta, Octo, En-ne-a, Dek-a!"
He gets one of them wrong on purpose. The note for the second syllable for Ennea is higher than the one she plays for it, but he repeats it when she corrects him, and it turns into a competition to see who can come up with a version of the song that's the most out of tune.
Once their done laughing 'til their sides hurt (he'd played Heart and Soul, one of the most infamous piano titles ever and tried to list the numbers while playing severely off key) he rests his big ol' head on her side, playing with the feather barrette on the side of her head.
He whistles once he pulls it free from its position, watching as the hair it was holding up swings behind her ears. "This thing is durable." He twirls it around in his hands. "The entire time—remember when we left Egghead's ship? Not a single one of these came off."
Elise chuckles, running her fingers through her hair. "That's the point. They're really important to the family, so Francine always makes sure to tighten them before my scheduled appearances."
"Does she drill 'em into your head?"
Elise scoffed. "Might as well. She's the one who insists on my accessories and makeup, so, I guess I let her. It doesn't really matter to me."
"Duh," Sonic replies, hugging her to his side. "You look good in anythin' you wear."
She flushes scarlet.
Score one.
If there's one thing he loves about Elise, and boy howdy are there a lot of things he loves about her, it's the cute little blush she gets when she's embarrassed or complimented. There are blushes, and there are heavy blushes, and then there's the kind of flush Elise has; it streaks across her face, just below her eyes and ending just below her cheeks, and sometimes, if he's suave enough or she's in a good mood, the tips of her ears turn a delicate pink, and she's reduced to the likes of a schoolgirl, stuttering and making excessive motions with her hands.
It's cute.
"Thank you," she replies steadily, after a moment of twiddling her index fingers.
Sonic winks. "Don't thank me for tellin' the truth." Her blush returns with a vengeance, and he thinks he can see the start of color on the tips of her ears. "No skin off my nose."
It takes her a full minute to recover from it, a new record, in his eyes, and she leans on him a little, and lets him hold her hand.
It's so much smaller than his. Of course, there have been nights when they've just stood up late and explored. She's soft where he's rough, patient where he's most definitely not, and level-headed where he isn't.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
"This is your mom's piano?" he asks, running his hand along the keys silently. A grand piano, a huge one at that, with the insignia of her mother's home country, to feathers spread like wings, while a sword with a golden hilt takes the center.
"No," Elise replied, just a little subdued. "Her own is in my parents' room. She loved playing it, and she loved singing just as much, so my father bought it for her for their wedding anniversary."
"Did she teach you that little counting song?" he inquires, gently pushing the barrette back into her hair. She gives him a little grateful smile before it fades.
"Mm-hm."
"You okay?" he asks, noticing her downcast expression and tapping fingers. A normal person wouldn't see it, given that Elise has always been the master at faking expressions, but there are little tics he notices when she's upset, or angry, or trying her damnedest not to cry.
It's been hard, these past few weeks, because he's noticing habits from before that still haven't broken off. He can't recall the last time she's cried, despite the fact that Iblis decided to stay and wouldn't be awakened by her tears. She still looks miserable and angry whenever someone brings up her father, brought down to straight grief when her mother's mentioned, and appears indecisive whenever the family's brought up as a whole.
She's gotta be one of the strongest humans he's ever met. She's already told him about carrying Iblis since she was seven, fucking seven, and she's told him about her father's death and the crumbling of the castle, although she can't remember much, thanks to her father's decision.
"I didn't like what he wanted to do then, and I still don't, now, but I understand why," she had said, on the nights they'd stood up together. "Solaris has trusted the royal family for centuries. Naturally, my father assumed it would be better to seal Iblis into one of the family members."
"Can you hear it?" he'd wondered, an arm slung around her waist. "Iblis, I mean."
"All the time," she'd said. "But it's not as bad as it may sound. Believe it or not, Iblis has come to...understand me, in a sense. He knows that what we've been put through was neither of our faults, and he seemed to only answer to my voice when I first found out what my father was planning to do. Not once has he ever manipulated me into crying. I appreciate him for that."
"Issat how you were able to make that shield?"
Elise had given him a fleeting smile. "Yeah."
"I'm fine," she replies steadily, switching from tapping her fingers to her left heel. She hopes he doesn't see. He probably does.
It's already one thing to have everyone else in the castle worrying about her emotional stability, but it's an entirely different thing to have her boyfriend, someone she spends a huge chunk of her time with, worry about her too. It's fine. She's fine. She's been able to do this for seventeen years. She doesn't need him to worry.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Elise tries to smile but it doesn't come as easy her genuine ones. "I've never..."
I've never talked about her.
"...I've never noticed how much smaller it feels now," she says finally, shifting in her seat and gesturing to the piano. "It used to be so much bigger to me, when I was kid."
"Really?" The look on his face doesn't exactly seem to be paying attention to the piano at all, instead, looking her up and down like he knows she's lying.
Which she is, but he doesn't need to know that.
"Elise?" he asks, his voice full of concern. "Is there...any reason why you don't talk about your mom?"
"There's nothing to talk about," she replies too easily. "She died when I was little."
"But you knew about her piano," Sonic points out. "And that she liked singing, and a bunch about the stuff in her room. Doesn't that...y'know, mean something to you?"
"Of course it does," she says a little too sharply. "People don't talk about her because they don't know about her."
"That doesn't answer the question though."
She knits her brows. "Why wouldn't it?"
"You aren't exactly like other people," he counters. "There's a difference between what they know and what you don't talk about."
"It doesn't matter." Elise insists quietly, and Sonic narrows his eyes. "I don't talk about her because I don't know that much about her."
"What?" he asks. "Of course it matters! You talk about your dad a bunch—"
"Because there's a difference between he did and—"
"—and you barely know anythin' about 'im!"
"Wha-I-Yes I do!"
"No, you don't. 'Cause if you did you'd be talking about your mom just as much as you do with your dad." He's seen her talk to her ladies-in-waiting when it comes to her mother, seen her walk into her room and marvel at all the old relics and occasionally speak aloud like she's praying. He refuses to believe that she knows next to nothing about her. He cares too much.
And right now it feels like Elise doesn't care at all.
"You don't know that," she replies quietly, with a steely edge to her voice. She's not looking at him, instead choosing to glare at the keys and grip her fists.
"Surprise, surprise, sweetheart, that's kinda because you won't tell me anything about her!"
"Because it doesn't matter!"
Sonic groans. There's reason why she won't talk, and he wants to help her out because no one should have to deal with loosing someone and never being able to get over it, but the problem doesn't seem to lie on the death itself; he'd be lucky if Elise told him her mom's fucking favorite color.
The amount of frustration she puts into vehemently refusing to say anything really says how much the death affected her. "What happened to make you so defensive?"
"I'm not being defensive, I-I just don't like talking about her!" she insists. Her expression is hardened, her fists are gripped to the point of her knuckles whiting out, and her anger and dismissal are starting to stir Iblis; her skin is too warm for its own good.
It's fine. It doesn't matter. She's been able to hold herself over for this long, how is he getting so heated about something that never happened to him?
He wouldn't understand. He doesn't need to understand.
Maybe it's just how she feels about the whole matter, or maybe its she isn't used to someone—anyone caring so much on something that happened in the past, but she doesn't want him to. She doesn't need him to.
Right?
The glare she sends his way is enough to burn metal. He returns it just as equally, crossing his arms.
Right.
"Elise, please..."
She doesn't understand how he's able to care and care so much. She got it when it was about her dad, yeah, sure, because of what happened when she was kid, but this is fucking ridiculous. Probably because there's a difference between sealing a demon inside a child and you and your mother listening to your carriage careen down a cliffside with only you managing to survive.
"...I just wanna..."
Elise has said it once and if she needs to say it again then she will she gladly reiterate the fact that sure, even though its sweet of him to offer and all—
"I don't need your help!" she hisses venomously, slamming her fist down on the keys of the piano and glowering at him through her tears. "I don't want your help!"
It takes a second for it to register, and it takes Elise a shorter time to notice, but in between the anger and disbelief she can see on his face there's a clear, blatant, picture of hurt. He stops glaring and his eyes do that little glimmer whenever he's being honest or sincere.
She never thought she'd see it when he was hurting, too.
His mouth abruptly closes, and he grips his hands into fists, scowling at her for one solid second before speeding off and slamming the door that Amy was about to walk though.
"Uhh..." Amy arches one eyebrow once she's wrenched the door back open, glancing at where Sonic just ran off to and back at Elise, who's glaring at the keys and not bothering to wipe the tears off her face..
"Nice to...see you again?" Amy tries, holding up a half-shrug.
Elise sniffs, covering her face with her hands and quietly sighing into them.
"Nice to see you too."
—
Sonic races through the castle and out into the back garden, streaking though the hedge maze and out through the kingdom.
He huffs, wiping his eyes, ignoring the buildings he bumps into and the exclamations of surprise her gets. Serves him right for trying to help.
He doesn't get it. That's her mom. She talks so reverently about her but when the time comes to actually talk she just shys away. It's been eighteen years since she died, what's she fucking waiting for? An invitation?
If she decides not to talk about something that's clearly troubling her then fine. It's not like it affected him anyway.
Sonic continues running aimlessly, zipping over to the more deserted part of town and back, to the market place and to the grassy hills, breaking the sound barrier more times than he can count.
It's not fair. He just wanted to help. There wasn't any reason for her to get angry.
But he had kinda pushed her, didn't he? There is a reason why she won't talk about it, but maybe he went the wrong way about it?
He shakes his head mid-run. He can think logically later. Even if Elise was never entitled to her feelings that doesn't mean he can't get upset from time to time, right? It doesn't mean that his feelings aren't important, right?
Right?
The sharp twist of anger in his gut's melted down. It's not as pronounced as it was before but it's still there. What she said still hurts. He wants to go and makeup with her but he won't unless she realizes that he isn't the only one at fault.
Sonic sighs, coming to an abrupt stop. He's in the middle of the fields, and the sky looks surprisingly familiar to the day he'd first brought her here.
He appreciates the silence by sitting down, brushing his gloved hands against some of the blades. He doesn't want to think about it.
So he doesn't.
Instead, he opts to sit down on the grass, trying his damndest not to glare at the clouds.
—
"Hey, it's okay, Elise..." Amy soothes, patting the princess on her back. "I'm sure he'll understand, right? We all have things we don't like to talk about."
"I-it's different," Elise mumbles through her hands. She'd told Amy how it'd went, along with the angry thoughts and blatant expressions. She had sat down patiently and listened to the whole story. "It's been so long. I should be able to talk about her by now, right?"
Amy thinks. "I...don't think that's a question I can answer. It took me a long time to talk about my parents."
Elise wipes her eyes. "Really?"
Amy nods. "Mm-hm! My mom and dad got into an accident when I was five. I barely remember it, but I remembered them. They were the best. Here." Amy heads over to the door, calls out a familiar name—"Shadow!"—and comes back in, smiling.
"Don't you worry, Elise, I'll calm Sonic down!"
"You sure?"
Amy beams, both hands on her hips. "You can count on me!"
Amy slings her hammer over her shoulder and skips off, while pushing a disgruntled Shadow into the study.
"Talk to her, alright?" Amy whispers. "She's had a rough time."
Shadow rolls his eyes. Talk about overdramatic.
"Fine," he replies, and Amy smiles, heading off for the castle's exit. "Do you even know where he is?"
"Of course I do!" she spouts, tapping her temple with her index finger, referring to that silly ESP sense she claims to have. "I bet he's still close by. I can feel it."
"Sure," Shadow says as Amy heads off for the market place.
He turns back to the princess, who hasn't even noticed him, instead staring at her hands like they'd run away from the rest of her body.
"What happened?" he asks. He's straight to the point with the girl—sorry, Elise, and she looks up at him gratefully.
"I...got into an argument with Sonic."
"I can see that," he remarks drily. He crosses his arms.
"Right..." Elise sniffs, and then wipes her eyes, her posture straightening as she clears her throat, and in that moment, Shadow knows that the flushing, inquisitive young woman Sonic loves to talk about is gone, replaced with someone harder and more official.
She recalls to him exactly what happened, how they went from playing the piano to arguing over her understanding of her mother's death, and she sighs once she's finished talking, her fingers tapping against the hem of her dress.
"He wouldn't stop pestering you with questions?"
"I wouldn't call it that," Elise replies quietly. "More like...worrying. I don't get why he was. I didn't want him to worry about it, but he kept worrying about it, and..."
"And you snapped."
She sighs. "And I snapped."
"Did you mean to?"
"No, of course, not!" she answers hastily, one of her barrettes slipping from her hair. She's too quick to adjust it. "I just wanted him to stop. For a guy who's the fastest thing alive, he sure seems to be the slowest at acknowledging social cues."
Shadow actually chuckles. "Don't I know it."
"I told him it didn't matter, because it doesn't, at least, it shouldn't to him—"
"But it does to you?"
That shuts her up; she blinks, falters, and then sighs. "Of course it does. I've just...never really had the time to think about it."
Shadow stares at her for a minute, as she glances at the keys of the piano.
Elise is...different. She knows that her mother's death hurts her but at the same time doesn't want it to affect anyone else. Probably due to the fact that she's grown up in a—quite literally—broken home.
Sonic most likely noticed that, thought he could do something to change it, and it blew up in his face. Of course, he loves her, but that doesn't suddenly make her mother's death all that more easy to talk about.
Hell, Shadow should know.
"And of course I want to talk about it, but, not now. In a different time, you know? Not while we're having fun playing the piano."
"Of course."
"But I kinda made it worse, though, didn't I?" she looks up from her hands.
Shadow shrugs. "You both made it worse. He kept trying to get something out of you when you clearly weren't going to answer, and you ignored his feelings in a shallow effort to protect them."
"The irony."
"Indeed."
Elise has to be the oddest human girl he's ever met. There's something terrible sealed inside of her, an unintentional curse placed upon her shoulders by her father and for the kingdom's sake, and she pretends to be fine, but he can see right through it all, from the little clouds in her eyes to the way she grips her fists when she wants to say something.
She's been through the countryside in Sonic's arms, burned to death at the hands of an airship malfunction, almost killed again when she and Sonic almost didn't make it up to that cliff, and overly enthusiastic about Sonic wherever he goes, whether he's helping someone else on the other side of the planet or shooting off an airship while breaking the sound barrier for the umpteenth time.
It's obvious for anyone to see; she loves him.
She's gotta be the craziest human Shadow's ever met.
And for that, he owes her Sonic's life.
"I should apologize," she says to herself with finality, and stands up. "Maybe what I wanted was different than what he was trying to achieve, but...he didn't deserve to get yelled at."
Elise stands up and dusts herself off, adjusting the slipping barrette one more time before she stops, turns to her side, and gives him a passing smile.
"Thank you, Shadow."
He looks away and crosses his arms. Her gaze his too warm, and her smile too honest. He doesn't like that he respects it.
"Don't mention it."
Elise nods minutely before leaving the room, and he stares off at her, pensive.
The world has been cruel to the both of them, yet she still smiles. She's lost her family, yet she still strives to be a support for the kingdom. She's a good example of still managing to care for the world despite it clearly not caring for her.
He'll admit it; he admires that.
—
It took her a while, and some misguided directions from the passerby, but she found him! All alone in the grassy green fields. Aw...
"Hiya Sonic!" she choruses, and he almost jumps. Note to self: work on being more conspicous.
Amy skips down the hillside, jumping to his side with a smile. "You okay?"
"You talked to Elise?"
"Yeahuh."
Amy pouts when Sonic doesn't reply. She sits down next to him and leans on his shoulder. Above, the clouds hang low in the sky. Sonic knows she won't leave until he starts talking, so she waits patiently.
"I just wanted to help," he mutters.
"You kinda went the wrong way about it."
"It's been a really long time since her mother died, though. I don't understand why she won't say anything when I just wanted to talk to her."
"I know," Amy replies. "But...?"
"But...I kinda went the wrong way about it," he begrudgingly replies.
Amy beams. "Good. I mean, of course she shouldn't've yelled at you, but you shouldn't've pressed on."
He sighs. "I know..."
"Remember how long it took for me to tell Vanilla about my parents?"
"'Course I do."
"Well, then imagine how much longer it would've been if I didn't have people like Vanilla or Cream."
He turns to her. "It would've taken you a lifetime—oh."
She hums. "Yeah. Oh."
Amy continues as he's silent. "I know what she said hurts, and that you didn't deserve to be treated like that, but go easy on her, alright? Your new, and she's rusty, and you totally went the wrong way while trying to do the right thing, but she's never really known people like us."
You really think so? asks the glance that he throws her way.
"Give her some time, yeah?" She bumps her arm onto his side." I'm sure she'll come around."
I know so.
"...thanks, Amy," he says, and she grins, ruffling up his quills playfully.
"No problem!" she chirps, pulling him up to his feet. "Someone's gotta reel you in when you go stir-crazy, right?"
Sonic chuckles, booping her on the nose. "Right."
—
Elise wasn't present when he returned to the castle with Amy, nor was she during dinner. When asked about her whereabouts, one of her ladies-in-waiting confirmed that she was in a meeting with her advisors, and wasn't expected to have any free time 'til late at night.
Sonic's never been the best at waiting, especially when it comes to something he could tackle at the moment, but he does. He doesn't like sleeping on fights; it makes the nights uncomfortable and the mornings tense.
He hears one of the castle doors open downstairs, and a familiar click of heels and rustle of jewelry makes its way up, and then goes in the complete opposite direction of her room, down the hall to her parents' room, the only place in the castle she never showed him to.
Welp.
He leaves her room, and very quietly, makes his way over to her parents' room. The door creaks open the second he touches it, and he hears her softly gasp before he fully opens the door.
The first thing he notices is that she's sitting on her mother's piano. The one she was talking about before. It's twice the size of the one in her study, and he can only see it by the light of the moon filtering through the windows.
She looks tired. Her makeup's been hastily wiped off, and her breathing's slow, like she's sleeping. Or wants to.
"Hey."
She looks down. "Hi."
He takes one step to make sure it's fine if he comes in, and continues when she doesn't say anything, coming to a stop once he reaches the chair and sits down next to her.
A full minute passes.
"I'm sorry—" she tries to say, at the same time he begins with, "I didn't mean—"
"Oh, gosh, sorry, you go first—"
"No, it's fine, I—"
They both stop talking, glance at each other, and chuckle awkwardly.
"I'm sorry for what I said," she says once they've stopped. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I completely disregarded your feelings. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Sonic waves one arm. "I was the one who got in your face in the first place."
"That still doesn't justify what I said, though." she says quietly. "I shouldn't've yelled at you."
"And I shouldn't've tried to get you to say anything. Guess we're both at fault."
"Definitely."
She leans on him tentatively, and he wraps her up in a hug to show it's okay. The relief he feels when she sighs is palpable.
"Permission to steal a kiss?"
There it is; a little smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, with just a faint glow of color in her cheeks.
"Permission granted," she says, and closes her eyes when he pecks her lips.
He hugs her just a tad tighter when he pulls away, and she's silent as he rubs her back soothingly.
He deserves to know, she finds herself thinking. And as much as she's pretend it doesn't matter...
It does.
She talks. She talks, and she talks, and once the death of her mother's out in the light, spilled from her lips, she can't stop talking. She tells him how she was her favorite person to talk to, how she was the one who decided on her name, on how they would make appearances in the kingdom, with her resting on her mother's hip.
"There was an accident in the carriage we were riding in," she says hurriedly, like she can't get it out fast enough. "We skidded down a cliff side and smashed into a rock. When I looked back her head was caught between the impact and the back of the carriage. She died right there in front of me and I just sat there watching her."
She comes to spill about how her barrettes were her mother's, which is why they were so important to the family, how there's a huge painting in the storage of her mom that she might never put back up, and how she wishes she could understand how a five year old child was able to survive an accident with only a broken leg while having to sustain the vision of her mother's blood spilling down her neck for the rest of her life.
"I didn't want to talk about her because I didn't care," she murmured to herself, internally wincing at Sonic's wide-eyed expression. "I didn't want to because I cared too much."
There are lectures, and there are talks, and then there's what Elise tells him; exactly what he wanted to know. In the end, she's crying softly, and her skin is warm with Iblis' heat, which does a good job of consoling her, if not a little.
They stay up for a good thirty minutes talking, until Sonic scoops her up into his arms and carries her to bed, cradled close to his heart like something treasured.
Woo, boy.
Sonic and Elise love each other to death and back but Elise has never really has anyone to talk to as she grew up nor did she have anyone to depend on, so she grew with this mentality of "No, no, I'm fine, I got this, it doesn't matter," when it does matter to her A LOT but she's not the best at expressing it, so she unintentionally disregards Sonic's feelings given that she never had the chance to express her own. Sonic just wants to help but can't if Elise won't talk to him, so naturally they get into a fight. Basically: Sonic thinks Elise doesn't care enough, and Elise thinks he cares too much.
Anyways the next Sonelise fic from me'll probs be something fluffier
i mean
i hope