I don't own any LXG things or characters except this story.
I don't own McDonald's either.
The League Goes Shopping
Tom walked over to the kitchen of the Nautilus. It was late in the morning, around 11:00, and he was looking for an early lunch, or a late breakfast, or brunch, or whatever he decided to call it. As he walked over to the pantry, tragedy struck! He swung the door open, and it was EMPTY! (dun dun dun!) He gasped, and ran over to the fridge, hoping that all was not lost, but, when he opened the fridge, he found it empty as well!
"NOOOO!!!" he screamed and fell down on his knees in despair.
A certain thief who happened to be passing by just then heard Tom's cry, and walked into the kitchen, curious to see why he was making so much noise.
"What are you screaming about?!" He asked, slightly annoyed.
"All the food….it's….it's…" Tom began.
"Well? What about it?" Skinner asked impatiently.
"It's GONE!" he cried, "Even all the twinkies!"
"WHAT?! NOT THE TWINKIES!" Skinner rushed over to the pantry to see if it was true, and sadly, there was nothing in sight. Not even a grain of rice was to be found.
"NEMO! GET OVER HERE! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
"What? What is it?" Nemo asked rushing in from wherever he was.
"All the food's gone! There's nothing left!" Skinner said as he pointed to the empty pantry.
"Well, Nemo, why don't we go fishing for more food?" Mina said walking in. She had heard Skinner calling for Nemo and wanted to see what the emergency was.
"We can not do that, because all my fishing supplies were destroyed two days ago." (Tom had accidentally set of a firework inside the room where the fishing things were.)
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do, then." Mina said gravely, "We must go shopping."
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All the league members were piled into Nemo's "automobile", ready to go to the store. They were all squashed together, because the car only had seats for five people, and they were a group of seven. Quatermain was driving, Mina was giving him directions, and the rest of the league was shoved in the back.
"Move it Tom! You're taking up all the room!"
"Get your elbow out of my face!"
"Get off of me!"
"I can't feel my arm!"
"I can't breath…."
"BE QUIET BACK THERE! I CAN'T DRIVE WITH YOUR CONSTANT BICKERING!" Quatermain yelled at the arguing league members in the back.
"But he's taking up too much room!"
"He punched me!"
"I did not!"
"I can't move!"
They whined like children.
Mina looked back at them. Skinner and Tom were shoving each other back and forth, trying to get more room, Dorian was getting mad at Nemo because the feather thing on top of his turban kept hitting him in the face, Nemo was trying to free his tangled arm from his seatbelt, and Jekyll was squashed up against the window.
"Alright. I'm each going to give you one complaint." Mina said, trying to calm things down, "You each tell me when I ask, and in an orderly fashion. Skinner, you first."
"He's taking up to much room!" Skinner said pointing to Tom.
"He punched me!" Tom whined and pointed to Skinner.
"I did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
And that's how the car ride went all the way to the supermarket.
"Alright! We're here! Everybody OUT!" Quatermain slammed on the brakes, causing everyone to jerk forward. He pressed the automatic door opener, and all the doors flew open at the same time, and all the league members in the back fell out and landed in a large pile. Tom and Skinner instantly forgot about their argument, Dorian got so mad at the little feather thing that he ripped it right off Nemo's hat. Nemo didn't notice though, and was rubbing the arm that was caught in the seatbelt, and Jekyll was gasping for breath.
"Come ON everyone! We don't have all day!" Quatermain shouted and dragged everyone into the store in a cart.
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Once they were inside, Mina began giving orders.
"Skinner and Tom, here's your cart. You two go to the bakery section."
"Do you really trust them on their own?" Quatermain whispered over her shoulder.
"Hmm… you're right. Jekyll, you go with them. Make sure they don't go overboard."
Jekyll eyed them nervously.
"Quatermain and Dorian, you take this cart. You go to the produce section. There are two carts left, so Nemo and I get separate carts. Nemo, you go to the seafood section. I'll go to the dairy section. When you fill up your cart, bring it to me. Alright? Go!" After she finished speaking the league all rushed out in separate directions.
"Hey, Skinner, Look! Candy!" Tom pointed out the rows of sweets in the desert section.
"Let's get some!" Skinner started steering the cart towards the candy, but Jekyll stopped it.
"We are not supposed to be getting candy!" He said reproachfully, "We're supposed to be going to the bakery section!"
"Oh, come on Jekyll! Don't be such a stinker. A little candy won't hurt anyone…" Skinner said innocently.
"The candy won't hurt you, but Mina will if she finds out you bought it!" He said as he started dragging the cart to the bakery section.
"Hey, Skinner," Tom asked quietly, "did you bring the rope?"
"Yep. On three?"
"On three."
"THREE!" They yelled together and ran after the terrified Jekyll.
Meanwhile….
"Pom-a-granite! It's not that hard!" Dorian said angrily to Quatermain.
"I know what a Pomegranate is!" Quatermain replied, "And that thing you're holding is definitely NOT a pomegranate!"
"Yes it is! It's an eastern pomegranate!"
"I've been to the east, and I've never seen anything like that before! It looks like a mutant banana!"
"It does NOT look like a mutant banana, and we are buying it!" Dorian said as if it settled the matter.
"I don't want anything like THAT near my food!" Quatermain said grabbing the strange fruit from Dorian.
"Give that back!"
Dorian lunged for the fruit, but Quatermain moved just in time, and he bashed his nose on a display of apples that went flying everywhere. When he stood up, Quatermain noticed that Dorian's nose had begun to bleed slightly, but it had healed before it got worse.
"If that had been permanent I would have been VERY upset!" Dorian said furiously, putting a hand on his nose, "Now give me the pomegranate!"
When Quatermain wouldn't give it back, Dorian began chasing him all over the store.
Meanwhile…(again)…
Nemo looked over the displays of fish and other seafood. Normally he did not like getting fish at the store, because they were not fresh. But today he didn't feel like getting fish anywhere. He was sick of eating fish day after day, and wanted to try something else for a change. So, he walked over to a random section in the store (it turned out to be the "exotic" section) and started looking around. Nemo had eaten many exotic foods in his travels, but some of the things here he had never seen. So he grabbed whatever he could reach and crammed it in the cart.
Meanwhile…(again again)…
Mina was walking around in the dairy section thinking about how weird it was that she actually was enjoying this grocery-shopping trip. It had been a long time since she had been in a grocery store, and it had also been a long time since she had any food that didn't have anything sea-foodish in it. She was thinking about this when a very fat lady with a cart overflowing with food rushed past her, rammed into her, and shoved her into one of the shelves. Mina got so angry that her eyes began to turn red and her hair was starting to fall out of her neat bun, and she was about to leap when she heard a crashing noise behind her and turned to look…
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"Mrmmmph!"
"Oh be quiet, Jekyll. You were being annoying, so we tied you up. Now be quiet."
Skinner and Tom had tied Jekyll up, put a cloth in his mouth, and put him in their cart so he couldn't stop them from loading up their cart with candy.
"Wow. Look at all this candy! Let's grab it all!" Tom said as he and Skinner started grabbing all the candy they could hold and putting it in the cart. When they weren't looking, Jekyll struggled and struggled until one of his hands was freed.
"Hey, what are you doing?! What's in your pocket?" Skinner said when he saw what Jekyll was doing, "Oh no! Tom, go grab it out of his hands!!"
Tom ran over to the cart as fast as he could, but it was too late. Before he was five feet away from the cart, Jekyll had already drank the contents of the vial he had in his pocket, and turned into Hyde.
"NOO!! Tom, RUN!" Skinner screamed and dashed off as fast as he could, wiping off his greasepaint and taking off his clothes as he ran. They did not want to be in the way of an angry Hyde, especially a Hyde angry at them.
"Hmm… he seems to get mad at us a lot doesn't he?" Skinner said to Tom as they ran.
"Speak for yourself! You're the one that got him angry last time!" He replied.
"I would argue, but I'm going to hide under this table instead. Toodle-loo." Skinner said as he dashed under a display and left Tom running on his own.
"Oh, Thanks a lot Skinner! Now what am I supposed to do?!"
He turned his head and saw, to his horror, that instead of running around the shelves, Hyde was just knocking them down and running through them.
"Oh no! I must save the candy!" Tom thought, and turned around and dashed right past Hyde, (who wasn't very quick at turning around) and zoomed back to grab the cart.
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"AHHH!!!" Mina screamed as she saw Tom running towards her with a cart overflowing with sweets, and Hyde chasing after him and smashing things on the way. She tried to dodge the speeding cart, but she wasn't quick enough and was flipped up on top of it. She landed in the gigantic pile of sweets in the cart. Tom saw this and thought that since he couldn't keep up with the cart much longer, he would join her.
"What's all this?!"She screamed at Tom when he jumped in next to her."Just some things Skinner and I thought we might need." He said casually, as if they weren't in an out-of-control cart being chased by an angry Hyde.
"This is all candy!"
"Yeah I know! Isn't it great? Taffy?" He said offering her some of the taffy he was eating.
"I sent you to get bread!" Mina replied angrily.
And this is how it continued as they zoomed across the store.
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"I'm telling you, it's a mutant banana." Quatermain and Dorian still hadn't stopped their argument over the exotic fruit.
"Oh, Nemo! Would you please tell Allan that this fruit is an eastern pomegranate?" Dorian called and Nemo walked over.
"It looks like a mutant banana to me."
"It's NOT a mutant bana-" but he was cut short when he saw a cart, filled with candy and arguing Mina and Tom, racing towards them and Hyde running behind.
"AHHH!!!"
"Look out!" Tom shouted, and they all scattered but they two got flipped up into the cart.
"Wow. I didn't think this cart would fit this many people…"
" It DOESN'T!!" Dorian yelled as he fell out, but Quatermain grabbed him by his shirt and started dragging him behind the cart.
"Hey. Everyone's here! Well, except Skinner." Tom said looking around.
"I'm here!" Said a voice from the corner of the cart.
"How is it that you fit and Dorian didn't?" Mina asked him.
"I don't know. But I have a question. Why is it that this cart just keeps on going, even though no one is pushing it, and why haven't we hit a wall yet?" Skinner asked.
No one answered his questions. But then, just as the cart turned another corner, they skidded through a display of fruit knocked down by Hyde and they all flew out. Then, Hyde tripped over the cart and landed on a giant wooden sign that flung all the fruit, candy, and league members up into the air that came back and landed on top of him.
"Oww…" Tom said, sitting up and rubbing his head.
"What was that all about?!" Quatermain shouted.
"They tied me up when I wouldn't let them get candy!" Jekyll said angrily, as he dug his way out of the giant pile.
"Yay! Hyde's gone!" Skinner said as he too fought his way out.
"Tell me exactly what happened!" Quatermain yelled.
After Skinner and Tom explained the whole story to Quatermain, Nemo decided that grocery shopping was a task too great for the League, and decided next time that they would send the crew to do the shopping. But, since they were still hungry, they stopped at McDonald's for a quick dinner.
"We'll have seven cheeseburgers please." Quatermain said at the drive through.
"I only want fries!"
"I want a salad!"
"I want mine rare!"
"I want a milkshake!"
"I don't want mustard!"
"I want a kid's meal with a toy!"
"I want a milkshake too!"
"I don't want any croutons!"
"Reeeaallly rare…"
"I want a fish sandwich!"
"I want extra kechup!"
"I want chicken nuggets!"
"That's IT! NO DINNER!" Quatermain shouted angrily after all the complaints flowed in.
"Oh, come on Allan! How about everyone writes down what they want and Tom and I will go in and order it." Skinner suggested.
"Fine! Fine…anything to stop the complaints!" Quatermain said with his hands over his ears, "Mina, you go with them."
A few minutes later, the alarms went off in McDonald's, Skinner burst out the doors with his arms full with kid's meal toys, Mina zooming behind in an angry swarm of bats, Tom following behind, and a whole squad of special McDonald's police chasing them.
"Well, I guess we're not getting McDonald's." Dorian said after watching the scene.