~Wolf Moon~
By C.D. RavenHouse
The full moon hovered in the clear onyx black sky, shining brightly through the bunkhouse window,making my view of the riders visible enough to make out their slumbering figures. I lay awake staring almost hypnotized by the silver glowing orb,thinking how bright and beautiful it was. I cut my gaze from it to Buck ,I smiled watching him on the top bunk across from mine,laying on his stomach softly snoring. It has been 3 months since I came to live among him, Teaspoon,Emma,and the rest of the pony express riders in Sweetwater,Kansas. I instantly knew Lou was a girl, but was told by her that Teaspoon didn't know. She didn't need to tell me to keep her true identity a secret, I told her, her secret was safe with me. Buck and I met by accident when I jumped him one day,thinking he was one of my foster father's murderers. That wasn't the first time I saw him,and he me, I had to come to town to sell my murdered foster father William McCain's dapple grey gelding,Cowboy. That was his request when he pasted away later on,he also said that his small spread he was making into a horse and cattle ranch would be rightfully mine. He had no other kin, he was once married to a lakota woman,she died in childbirth,along with their newborn son. He buried them up on a hill near the cabin under an oak tree. That's where I played him to rest, next to his wife and child. I took Cowboy's reins, and mounted my black Friesian stallion I named Black Magic. William gave him to me on my 18th birthday. I set out for Sweetwater,never been there,but William showed me the way if I needed to go there. He also taught me how to shoot like a professional gunfighter, he was a retired gunslinger turned sheriff of Silver Creek, he was also retired from that also. I came to live with William after 2 years of living with a tribe of lakota, I wasn't a captive,I was adopted by the tribe-which as I see now as being strange. I loved living among them,living their sacred ways,seeing through their eyes. My ma and pa were killed by white men,I was their only child and 16 at the time got away unharmed. I was found wandering the plains by a warrior named Running Wolf and 6 other warriors. they argued in their lakota language over me , until Running Wolf approached me and spoke english. he told me that he was taking me to his people, I didn't fear him or any of the tribe or any indian for that matter. I was taken to their village,some opposed to me being there,believing it was a bad thing to bring a white woman among them,for fear of the calvary would attack the camp to save me. Others seemed to not care, especially chief Red Cloud,who was Running Wolf's father. I lived with the tribe for a year,learning their ways and language, I never spoke english after that. I was even promised to Running Wolf to be his wife,we courted for 6 months until he was killed by white trappers,while he and other warriors were out hunting for buffalo. I deeply mourned his death and never was promised to another. The next spring was when William took me in after he came to the village with some of his cattle for his late wife's tribe. She was daughter to Standing Elk, a holy man,who gave me the name Raven Horse after he had a vision of me taming a big black stallion that only I could ride. I never took that vision to heart until later when William presented me with that jet black friesian stallion, and said the ornery critter wouldn't let him near it. There I was in awe of the vision's truth and at the stallion's instant trust of me. My christian name is Cindy and now go by Cindy RavenHouse,a mixture of my old and new self,that's what Buck,Teaspoon,Emma and the riders call me. The memory was cut short by the sound of the horses acting nervous,I was surprised the others didn't hear it too. I rose from my bunk and quietly dressed ,grabbed my colt 45 I headed out the door. I stalked to the barn looking cautiously about me,trying to see what was making the horses so nervous,but saw nothing. I entered the barn,my horse snorted and tossed his head, "Hey boy," I said walking toward him, I placed a calm hand on his jet black neck and stroked it, "What's wrong?" I tried to console him in lakota,it always soothed him,but tonight was a different matter,something really spooked him and the other horses. Then I heard what was scaring them, a deep growl split the silence, the horses snorted and reared wild eyed in their stalls. I left the barn and headed behind it,the full moon illuminated my surroundings making it easy to see, but I saw nothing, no growling creature. I turned my back scanning toward the corral and bunkhouse,listening , then I heard it again. A low guttural growl came from behind me,i slowing turned around not to startle the beast and there standing before me was the biggest wolf I've ever seen. It was black and it's eyes golden shined brightly as the moon above, it lowered it's head,eyes still locked upon me, it drew back it's muzzle showing large razor sharp canines,it growled and snapped at the air aggressively. My eyes widened in fear and disbelief as I stood there motionless, I let out a gasp and the wolf leapted upon me before I could raise my my gun. Knocking me flat on my back, the wolf stood upon me,it's long sharp claws stabbed into my shoulders pinning me down. I could feel and smell it's rancid hot breath,i stirred up enough courage and grabbed at it's head, trying to wrestle it away from my throat. The wolf fought back, being much stronger than I, it tore it's head out of my grasped and buried it's teeth into my left shoulder. I could hear my bones crunch in it's powerful jaws , feel my flesh ripping and felt my blood spewing. I screamed in intense pain and fear, a rush of adrenaline ran through me, I raised my gun and pressed it to the wolf's side and pulled the trigger. The gunshot and the wolf's yelp were twin as they rang out killing the silent night, the beast jumped off of me slightly stunned,but regained itself quickly. I raised my gun toward it,ready to fire again when I heard Cody's voice coming from the bunkhouse,telling the others to get up. I then heard them bursting out the door,I heard all of them yelling now,so did the wolf who turned tail and bolted off into the darkness. My eyes never left it until I couldn't see it anymore, I let my head fall back and listened to Kid in the barn consoling Katy. I heard Teaspoon and Emma now and then I heard Buck asking worried about my were abouts, "Cindy,where's Cindy." he asked the riders,then yelled out for me terrified. Kid came from the barn "She's not in the barn and her horse is still here." I couldn't move, or cry out letting Buck know I was close by and injured, the bite burned like fire ,leaving me weak from bloodloss. I had to try to alert him,let him know where I was and fast, I took a deep breath that burned my lungs and yelled "Buck!" At the sound of my voice Buck raced behind the barn,upon reaching me he fell to his knees ,his eyes widened in horror in the state I was in. The rest of the riders followed and gave me the same expression seeing me mauled and blood covered. Lou sickened by the sight buried her face into Kid's chest, Buck lifted me into his arms ,rising to his feet he took off for Emma's house. Once Emma saw Buck carrying me and how bloody I was she let out a horrified gasp, "Oh my lord." she uttered and covered her mouth,she told Buck to bring me into the house. She directed him to the spare bedroom, she turned the bed covers down, Buck gently lay me on the soft feather bed, at this point I had lost consciousness and this worried him. Emma went out of the room to fetch clean bowls of water and bandages, when she returned she set them down on the nightstand next to the bed. She started to undress me but stopped and looked at Buck, who stared at me nervously. She went over to him "Buck would ya mind steppin out while I tend to her." she asked . Not wanting to leave my side,Buck did as he was told and slowly left the room with Emma behind him,she shut the door once he was out. It seemed to Buck like an hour waiting for Emma to open the bedroom door, finally she emerged, her apron bloody made him swallow hard in worry. "How is she,is she awake?" he asked concerned, Emma played a motherly hand on Buck's arm "She's still unconscious, but seems to doing fine,I wouldn't worry." Buck asked to see me,but Emma declined telling him it was getting late and he needed to head off to bed and not to worry about me. Again he didn't want to leave me, but Emma was right,it was getting late and he was getting tired. Buck left the house and headed back to the bunkhouse where the riders were already asleep. On his way there he thought he heard growling, he stopped and looked around,but saw nothing. He continued on to the bunkhouse,once inside he undressed,except for his long johns,he put his gun away in it's holster and hopped up in his bunk,but sleep was the last thing on his mind. My dreams were possessed of wolves, i was also a wolf running with my pack through a lush green forest. jumping over fallen grey brown logs, some of the pack stopped and let out growls,letting the rest of us know the hunt was on. The prey was human, a mountain man wearing a grey wolf fur coat stood along the forest clearing unaware of a hungry pack stalking him. We crept closer,unheard and unseen by our prey,our jaws drooled with hunger, a black wolf alpha male approached me,his yellow eyes said "Take him." I growled low in my throat at the command and stalked closer, his back was to me and at this I slept upon him. Sinking my needle sharp canines into the back of his neck,I snapped it like a thin branch,spray bright blood on my silvery white coat staining it red. my eyes snapped wide open in fear and shock, uttering a gasp that startled Buck who sat at my bedside. I tried to sit up but the combination of pain,soreness and mild weakness kept me from it. "Don't." Buck said as he gently touched my arm."you'll start bleeding again." He reached out and grabbed a washcloth that was soaking in a bowl of cool water,after ringing it out he lightly dabbed it my forehead and wiped my face. "what happened last night,what attacked you?" he asked curiously while looking concerningly into my blue-grey eyes. I lowered my eyes and said hoarsely "Wolf." I looked up at Buck who had a puzzled expression on his face, "What'da ya mean wolf ?" " A wolf did this to me, the biggest one I've ever seen." I said anxiously, Buck swallowed hard and softly smiled before adding, "Cindy, there ain't no wolves around these parts,believe me I've would've seen'em." I sunk in my bed,disappointed that he didn't believe me, noticing my disappointment Buck caressed my cheek saying "Well, whatever it was is gone now and hopefully won't be back." Emma entered the room carrying a fresh bowl of water and bandages, Buck rose from the bed so she could tend to me. "How ya feelin' this morning?" She asked in a mother's voice. " A Little weak and sore." I admitted, she smiled sweetly,"I can well imagine,at what a sight you were all bloodied up." She started to pull my clean shirt she dressed me last night off my injured shoulder but paused and looked back at Buck. She cleared her throat,"Buck,would,ya mind..." "He can stay." I interrupted, she looked at me surprised an slightly shook her head in protest,"You think that would be appropriate,him seeing you half undressed?" I nodded,looking past her and at Buck. If only she knew that it wouldn't be the first time he saw my bare shoulders and tops of my breasts. "Aw right." Emma sigh,and continued changing my bloodied bandage, she then gasped, I looked confused at her and then Buck who held the same expression, "It can't be." she uttered dumbfounded, "What,can't be?" I asked curiously, Emma looked into my eyes," That wound was deep,no way it would heal that fast." I looked at Buck again,who know gripped his medicine bag tightly, I ran my fingers across the bite wound,she was right it was healed to thin upraised scars. I checked the claw wounds on my left shoulder,again I felt only scars that would've been there only in a month or two. She didn't bother to rebandage me,there was no need,she allowed me to put my shirt back on, seeing that I fine she got up from my bedside, "I'll bring you some breakfast then." At this she left the room,leaving Buck and I alone again. He kept silent,what could he say,the sight of my deep wounds that I required last night,full healed by morning. He never in his life saw nothing like it before,he gripped his medicine bag tightly again,looking at me in fear. I've never saw Buck scared,this worried me,was he afraid at my quick healing or of me? Days past and the life at the way station went as usual for everyone, but me, I started feeling strange, I still had nightmares of wolves, me being a wolf,running with a strange pack, hunting humans that always end in blood. I'd always awake in a fearful cold sweat,wondering in hell was wrong with me,did I even want to know? Later that day I walked in the bunkhouse from finishing my chores,Cody,Ike,Lou and Buck sat at the table playing poker,Emma with her back to them,turned to see who entered, she was cleaning cut of stew meat so she could make her famous stew. Closing the door behind me she said "Get yer chores done?" I said I had, while watching the card game, the sudden smell of the raw meat made my stomach growl, I walked over to Emma who smiled at me "Something you need?" All I could do was stare ravenously at the blood red meat, "Cindy,you alright?" she stopped and asked concerned, as she reached out to feel my forehead I growled. Grabbing a handful of meat I shoved it in my mouth and chewed,not noticing the look of horror and disgust on everyone's face. Blood juices trickled down the corners of my mouth, I then came to my senses, and looked at Emma who stood away from me in shock. I looked at Buck and the others,they had the very same look on their faces. I suddenly felt sick, cupping a hand over my mouth I ran out the door with Buck trailing behind me calling my name. Once behind the stable barn I fell to my knees and vomited the half eaten meat,Buck stood back,watching in disgust and sympathy. "Oh god,oh god!" I said gasping for air,Buck helped me to my feet and held me tight in his arms, "What is wrong with me?" I whispered aloud, my head pressed against his chest. Buck wondered the same, he caressed my long medium ash blonde hair, squeezing me tighter not knowing what to say, I could smell him, his musky masculine scent, the half kiowa blood that raced within his veins nearly intoxicated me. I pulled away from him, "Cindy, what is it?" he asked surprised, I shook my head violently trying to get his scent out of my memory before it drove me crazy. Buck looked at me,placing his hands on my face lifting it up so I would look into his dark brown eyes that softened with deep passionate love when he gazed into mine. "I love you." he stated and gave me a smile,that I returned, "I love you too,Buck." I breathed, he continued saying "What ever it is,I'll help see you through it." At this he leaned in and kissed me passionately,my lips melting onto his before locking into another sweet embrace. I dreamt about wolves again, me being a wolf, running with my pack,hunting,and killing. I woke in a cold sweat,shaken from the lucid dream, I sat up in my single bunk and looked about the room at the riders,my gaze settled lastly on Buck,asleep on the top bunk across from me. Wide awake I decided to step outside for some fresh air,i quietly put my boots on and slipped out the door. Sitting on the bunkhouse steps I started out at the night, feeling the soft cool breeze blowing I closed my eyes letting it blow through my hair, and thought about the way Buck's fingers did the same when we were alone, I sighed euphorically. I heard a snort from the corral,opening my eyes I saw my stallion standing at the fence looking at me,ears pricked up, he snorted again and tossed his head. i stood up and walked out to him,"Hey boy." I cooed to him softly, as I got closer he nickered nervously and pawed the ground. I stopped and listened,maybe the wolf was back and he sensed it, all I could hear were the crickets and other night insects chirping their night songs. I continued toward him,holding out my hand, "It's ok." I consoled him, when I got closer he pinned his ears back and lunged almost biting me. Black Magic reared in the corral,letting out a fearful scream, I stood confused,why was he acting this way? He whirled around and kicked the corral fence hard,breaking it in two, once free he charged at me, he reared again at me,ears pinned in anger. I jumped backward and fell to the ground, my horse still coming at me in defense. "Black,stop!" I yelled in fear, suddenly Cody,Jimmy,and Ike were surrounding the horse,each tried to grab his halter but couldn't. "Get a lasso!" Jimmy yelled to Cody,who ran to the barn to fetch one as he and Ike stood between me and the angry stallion. Buck grabbed me,pulling me to my feet he kissed me to safety the bunkhouse steps. Once my horse was calmed down and taken to the barn all milled around me,including Emma and Teaspoon. "What happened?" Teaspoon asked, shaken up I told him I couldn't sleep so I came outside and saw Black acting nervous. " You aright." he asked concerned, "Yeah." I sighed,"Well,alright." he paused and said "Everyone off to bed,excitement's over." The riders and Emma obeyed leaving only Buck and I alone. "I gotta get out of here." I said looking down,Buck looked at me puzzled, "whatta mean?" he asked softly, I looked into his eyes "I mean,I have to find out what is wrong with me." I choked back tears,noticing this Buck held me,but his sharp scent forced me to shove him away. "I'm dreaming of wolves,Buck -that I'm a wolf." I looked upward at the black star filled sky, the half moon glided among them. He rested his hands on my biceps,rubbing them gently he looked into my eyes," I'll come with you." he said, I shook my head "No, I gotta go alone,I gotta find out why I'm acting this way and having these nightmares." Buck frowned,he didn't want me to leave without him,he wanted to help,but I was scared for him. " I don't want to end up hurting you." Buck stood there in silence,I did hurt him by refusing his help and company,I couldn't risk it and wouldn't forgive myself if whatever I was took over and hurt or killed him. We both went to bed,Buck drifted off to sleep first,once I knew he was sound asleep I quietly gathered what I needed for the long journey. I couldn't take my horse,he was terrified of me ,as all horses were now. I had to go on foot, I knew Buck would track me, he was as all indians are great trackers,I just hoped I cured whatever I've become before he caught up to me. To be honest I knew what I've become and thought deeply on it,I was a wolf or possessed by a wolf spirit,what else could it be,I didn't have the heightened sense of smell, or hearing before the attack, now my eyes were so sharp I could see in the pitch blackness of the night. Plus horses didn't act terrified of me,especially my own horse who only trusted me. I must've traveled about 5 miles from the waystation when I smelled something very familiar, Buck was tracking me already,I even smelled his horse,which made the wolf in me growl in hunger. "NO!" I whispered aloud and in fear,"You will not harm them,I won't let you." I continued as I forced it at bay. I took off running,even my speed was supernatural,as if I was on all fours,trying to lose Buck, but to no avail. 'Oh Buck,turn back,please.' I thought as I sprinted. Finally both scents were weak to nearly noticeable,at this I slowed to a walk and then stopped. My lungs burned for air, bent over palms on my knees I panted,like a wolf. Something else caught my nose, a scent I've never smelled before, it was a mixture of human and animal and somehow I knew this new scent. It was the scent of another wolf,and it was tracking me too. The wolf in me arose and growled threatened by this strange one, I touched my tongue to my canines,they were sharp and pointed like fangs,fear ran wild through me, 'I'm already changing!' I thought to myself, "Oh god no,not yet." I said and bolted back on my journey,to where I had no idea,just safely away from Buck,and any other human who I hoped wouldn't encounter me until this was over-if it would ever be over. Night fall, Buck sat before a campfire,thinking,worrying about me. Was I alright,still on foot? He hoped I was alright and that I didn't get ahead of him where he'd lose the trail. A tear ran down his cheek as his compassionate heart ached for me, he stared into the flickering fire,feeling that he'd already lost me. The sound of twigs snapping brought him out of his sad thoughts and to his feet, he drew his gun,looking out at the darkness he waited for what was out there to reveal itself. An old indian with salt and pepper long hair holding a staff and carrying a bag made out of buffalo hide came into view. "Who are you?" Buck asked curiously,he felt the man was no threat,but still held his gun on him. The man studied Buck then said "You're tracking her too." "How do you..." Buck trailed off, looking at him with confusion. The old indian stepped a little closer paying no mind to Buck's gun still being held on him, he knew this young half breed wouldn't harm him. "She's no longer human, your woman, she is shungmanitou." Buck never heard this word before,"Shungmanitou?" He asked puzzled as he approached the old indian,he put his gun away and the indian sat legs crossed in front of the warm fire,Buck squatted next to him wating for the word's definition. "It's ancient lakota for one who is wolf." "what do you know about her being ... a wolf?" Buck asked, the indian sighed uneasely before admitting "Because the one that bit her,was my son." Buck sat looking at the the elder dumbfounded, he felt like he was in a horriblr dream and wanted desperately to wake up safely in his bunk with me across it in mine. I kept walking,wanting to to get some distance from Buck and the creature that also was tracking me. Buck's scent was a little weak now, this I knew I was getting farther away from him and should stop and make camp but trudged on restlessly. Suddenly I was brought to my knees by intense pain that pulsed through my skull and body. It felt like my bones were twisting and growing, was I changing into a wolf now? I was terrified,panic raced through my mind, the pain brought me down on all fours now, "OH GOD!" I gasped hoarsely out loudand clutched at my chest. My heart raced wildly that I fear it would burst, I started to feel dizzy, I prayed for the pain and dizziness to stop, I closed my eyes tight and panted between gritted teeth, that I knew were now long and sharp. Finally the pain eased off, I lay on the ground, when the pain subsided I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. I looked skyward,the moon half full overhead, I screamed angerly at it "Dammit,what the hell is happening to me"! I spent half the night sobbing out of fear and deep sorrow. Sleep did come but only for a short while,in that moment of my slumber I dreampt again of wolves, of my pack. Buck awoke early the next moring eager to start tracking me again before my trail turned cold. The elder indian stood on the edge of the camp, staff in hand. Without looking at Buck he said "We must get going,if you want to catch up to your woman." Buck stood up, pushing his long dark hair behind each ear, he never told him about our relationship,that we are lovers. Walking over to the indian, standing in front of him and looking into his eyes Buck saked "How do you know about us?" The elder smiled softly still gazing at Buck he said "You wouldn't be this worried if she was a stranger or aquaintance." He started to turn away from Buck but stop and asked "You do love her?" Tears welled up in his eyes as he answered "More than life itself." "Then we must be going,before my son gets to her." Buck rushed up to him, "What'd ya mean?" he asked anxiously. "Since he made her a wolf, he desires to mate with her." Buck swallowed hard before asking, "And if she refuses him?" The indian looked into his eyes and sighed, "He will kill her." Fear bore down on Buck, he quickly saddled his horse, mounted and asked, "Where's your horse?" The indian smiled weakly, "I don't own one,besides the horse will become useless the closer we get to them, so cherish him while you can my young friend." Buck knew what the elder meant, remembering how frightened my horse was at me a night ago. As they headed out Buck was curious about the old indian,especially his name. " I never got your name." The indian looked up at him as he strolled along side him, "Crowfeather." He said with a pause,then continued "Charles, Crowfeather." Buck stopped his horse and gazed at Charles in surprise, " You half breed too?" Charles kept walking but called back "No, just like the name Charles; it goes well with Crowfeather." Buck smirked at the reply, he hadn't smiled since this hell came raining down on me, for a minute it felt good. he lightly kicked his horse into a slow trot to catch up with Charles, he slowed his horse to a walk once he was beside him. They traveled the rest of the way in silence, Buck's mind buzzed with thoughts of me as he looked ahead, still hoping I was ok. I woke to the smell of something inhuman, of half man and half animal. I sat up and looked about me,before rising to my feet. I could see nothing except for the plains and a small tree line off in the distance. The scent was strong,like human sweat mixed with wet dog. The oder was becoming overpowering sending my senses wild. I growled low in my throat unexpectedly, the wolf that I've now become didn't like what was watching me. I took off walking, not knowing where I was headed,just hoping to get far away from whatever was watching me and hoping it didn't follow. But it was following me, too close for my liking. " What are you, and why are you following me?" I whispered aloud out of fear and annoyance. A gutteral growl made me break into a sprint, oh god, was it the wolf that attacked me that night at the waystation? My brain pulsed fear and adrenaline as my legs worked frantically as I ran for my life. Not caring about the burning in my lungs I kept moving, until the beast's scent wavered off and was gone. I stopped and fell exhausted to my knees, my legs ached, my lungs burned ever more now as I gasped desperately for air. I lost whatever was chasing me, or that it just gave up, I didn't care which i was just glad it was gone. " I can't stop here." I told myself, " I have to keep moving." Rising on shaky legs I stood and surveyed my new surrounding, with a deep sigh I uttered " I gotta keep Buck from getting too close to me, and that thing at bay." I regained my breath again, my lungs no longer burning i started off again, hoping I didn't encounter anyone along the way. I didn't fear them, but for them. the wolf in me was getting stronger,and I didn't know how long I could hold it off. Buck listened to Charles speak about his son and what he knew of shungmanitous,which the elder indian learned the whiteman's word for them,werewolves. Buck has never heard of such creatures or knew they could exist. " What was your son doing at thepony express waystation in Sweetwater?"Buck asked curiously, Charles glanced at him, "I don't know,maybe hunting. he's never been to a whitemans town before." He answered, paused and then continued, "The wolf brought him there,looking for livestock to prey on." He sighed sadly then said, "Buck, I am sorry my son attacked your woman, please don't be angry with him,he has no control over the beast that possesses him." Buck found his anger fade to compassion, he also felt compassionate toward Charles as well. They were on the same quest to help the ones they loved dearly, tears welled up in his eyes again,this time he didn't wipe them away. Agained they traveled the rest of the way in silence, again Buck's mind buzzed with thoughts of me. He came out of his daydream and aniously asked "How do you kill, a werewolf?" Charles kept walking,never looking at Buck uttered " Silver ,either bullets,spear heads,knife blades made from it or dipped in it is the only way to destroy this evil." Buck swallowed hard at this information he couldn't-wouldn't harm or kill me, he wondered if there was another way. "Can the curse be broken?" he asked in hope of a positive answer, "If the relatives kill the wolf that cursed others,is the only cure." Buck stopped his horse, dismounted and walked next to the indian, " What're you sayin?" Charles stopped and gazed sadly into his eyes, "I'll have to kill my son to save your woman." At this knowledge, Buck was taken aback, "Isn't there another way to cure both?" Crowfeather smiled weakly, "No, my son Black Fox has been shungmanitou for six moons, he has suffered way too long and I must put him at peace." Looking toward the darkened sky and seeing the half full moon, he turned back to Buck and replied "Come,it's getting close to next full moon,we must find my son and your woman soon." Buck didn't understand what the full moon had to do with werewolves and asked Charles about this. "It causes the cursed one to transform into the wolf." He told Buck,"It's also called the wolf moon." They traveled until both were too tired to go on, though neither wanted to stop and make camp. It was too dark to track and sleepiness made their vision blurry and minds clouded. I couldn't go on either,also exhausted from the day's excitement I sat cross legged on the dusty ground, no campfire burning before me. The wolf in me feared the fire, i didn't need it anyway, my vision was like a cat's and I wasn't cold from it's fur warming me on the inside. My hearing heightened so well I could hear a chorus of night insects all around, the night exploded with other sounds, owls hooting miles away, a coyote yapping also miles away in the oppisite direction. They sounded like I was right next to them, I sniffed the air and caught their scents floating on the soft luke warm breeze. I also smelled the earth below me ,the trees and grasses, and a herd of buffalo that grazed here a week ago before moving on to greener pastures. I also caught a familiar scent that made me smile and heart ache in loneliness, the scent of Buck, there was a new scent that was among him, a male companion that had a similiar musky/earthy scent as Buck's. This left me curious to whom he traveled with, was he helping Buck to save me from this curse? I didn't trust this new one and growled low in my throat, I wasn't scared of what I've become now or at the wolfish behavior I exhibited , it was now becoming second nature to me. The moon was almost full now, as I gazed at the crescent orb glowing brightly in the midnight sky,wishing I was back in my bunk listening to Buck's soft snoring. I thought about how we'd sneak off into the barn to steal kisses,laying on a bed of clean straw in one of the empty stables. I'd speak lakota to him," Waste' lake' niye." I'd whisper sweetly as I gazed into his dark eyes that softened everytime he looked at me, caressing his handsome dark tanned face lovingly. "I love you too." He admitted before giving me another passionate kiss. One time Kid caught us when he came in to fetch Katy, his sorrel paint mare. Buck and I quickly stood up startling Kid who smiled awkwardly, he knew what we were up to, all too well, he and Lou had done the same. "Your secret's safe with me." he told us, Buck and I laughed as we brushed straw from our clothes and hair. This memory made me smile and tear up at the same time, god I missed him so much. A strong scent pulled me from my memories, I knew this scent too, it was the beast that stalked me earlier. This time I didn't fear it but loathed it and now knew it was the wolf that attacked me. The hell did it want,to finish me off? What else could it of wanted, to track me all this way. I wanted revenge for making me like it, a monster and tearing me away from the man I love. "c'mon you bastard,show yourself." I whispered angerly as I scanned the darkened scent came from a forest lining 10 feet away,my eyes locked on it,waiting. then I saw it,not a wolf-but a young indian man dressed in lakota deerskin shirt and leggings. He had the scent of the wolf that had been stalking me. My eyes widened in shock, he's the wolf that attacked me, he looked my age. "Who are you?!" I yelled in lakota, his response was to crouch behind a large tree. The wolf in me began to emerge,this time I didn't fight it,I knew the only way to protect myself from him was to transform. forcing me to my knees,my bones popped causing me to moan aloud in pain. Wolf fur started covering my body,my face bones popped and cracked as it lengthened into a muzzle. My teeth became jagged razor sharp canines, I looked down at my hands which now were large snow white paws. In full wolf form I threw my head back and gave a howl of warning. I then lowered my head lowered, teeth bared giving my enemy a deep threatened growl. The indian also transformed into a black wolf with gold yellow eyes that shown brightly like the nearly full moon above. he stared at me not in hatred but with desire. This confused me,for all I felt for him was aggression and growled low in my throat,letting him know to stay back. He sensing my intention to attack if he got close,backed off and was gone. I didn't relax until his scent was too weak to smell on the breeze. At this I layed down in the cool grass,exhausted from the transformation I closed my eyes,but kept my ears pricked up toward the forest incase he came back. He never did and I unknowningly fell alseep. "There is another thing I must tell you about your woman." Charles spoke up as he sat oppisite from Buck before the campfire. "What is it?" Buck asked softly not wanting to knew it must be said. Charles sighed before speaking,"If she any humans in her wolf form,she'll be cursed as a wolf until she is killed by silver... and only by you." Buck swallowed hard and asked "Why me?" "Only the one that loves her most can break the curse and put her spirit to rest." Buck kept silent at the fear of this knowledge possessing his heart,he couldn't do that-wouldn't do that, not even if I attacked him in wolf form. But he knew deep in his heart that he had to do whatever to save me, even if it meant killing poked at the fire with his staff before saying "We must get some sleep,the full moon is tomorrow night and we have to get to your woman before my son does." Charles settled down on his side and closed his eyes, in seconds he was asleep. Buck too layed on his side, but couldn't sleep,hegazed depressingly into the fire. Again the tears flowed from his dark eyes,he softly sobbed himself to sleep. The next morning when the sun was just rising as a orange-pink glow beyond the horizon, Charles and Buck set off again. This time Buck was on foot,Charles advised him to leave his horse behind and untethered incase I or his son came at it in wolf form,giving the horse the chance to flee. As before they traveled in silence,Buck hoped they'd reach me in time,they had no idea how close they were to me. I could smell their scent very strongly on the light morning breeze, I was so tired od traveling that i stayed put. I yearned to to see Buck's handsome face and ached for him to hold me tight in his arms again. "Oh, Buck, I miss you." I whispered sadly toward the direction the his scent was coming from. "Find me." I whispered again. I knew tonight the moon would be full and I would transform again, I also knew it was time to put an end to all this,how I didn't know. But through hell or highwater I would find out,even if I had to fight this lakota wolf to the death-even if it was my own. "I'm ready, let's get on with it." I thought impatiently as I layed on the ground. I drifted back off to sleep, my dream was again of wolves, the same dream I been having since I was bitten, except Buck was in it now. He stood naked in a forest, the pack danced around him happily yipping like a dogs to their masters. He looked at me and smirked in a sinister way,holding out his hand to me. "Cindy,come,join us." he said seductively. He then crouched on his heels, his head lowered, a low growl erupted from him, when he looked back at me his eyes were golden yellow and glowing. Sharp canines filled his mouth, I stood in horror as he transformed into a big black wolf,throwing his head skyward he let out a mournful howl. I awoke startled,Buck was now at my side,his hand rested on my shoulder as he called my name. We embraced and didn't part for what seemed like minutes. When we did part I noticed an elder indian standing close by, I knew him. Buck helped me up and introduced his new friend, "This is Charles -" "Crowfeather." I said cutting him off. Buck looked baffled, the indian came over to me and smiled warmly "Ravenhorse, it's been many moons since I saw you, I am sorry my son has cursed you with the shungmanitou." "Your son?" I asked then looked at Buck confused. I knew Crowfeather's son Black Fox, he was best friends with my fiance' Runnning Wolf when I lived with the tribe. Three months later after Running Wolf was killed by white men, Black Fox disappeared. We all thought he went out looking for his friend's and my fiance's killers and was killed by them as well. Now I know what became of him. "Black Fox is the wolf that attacked me?" I asked confused, Crowfeather nodded sadly. "He's been following me, I saw him last night hiding in that tree line." I pointed out to where I saw him, " He transformed, so did I out of fear." Buck looked at me with fear in his eyes on hearing of my transformation. Crowfeather didn't tell him or didn't know that strong emotions could cause a transformation, Charles looked surprised as well. "Then we must get ready." Charles said to Buck and I, "Tonight you will change again,but fear will not be the cause, but the wolf moon." "Wolf Moon?" Buck asked curiously, "It's another word for full moon,since it influences shungmanitous to transforms." Charles unpacked the silver weapons and layed them out, he gave Buck six silver bullets for his gun and a silver bladed dagger. The sight of the silver made my heart race with fear, the wolf in me forced me to back away. Noticing this, Buck put them away and approached me. "Cindy, you alright?" He asked standing close behind me, his hands carressed my shoulders. I turned and faced him, giving him a weak smiled I replied "I'm fine, the wolf in me fears the silver." Putting his hands gently on my face, he assured me that it wasn't meant for me. "You might have to be, Buck." " I couldn't do that, and would never hurt you" He bursted out. I looked skyward, the sun was slipping slowly away,soon it would be dark. tears slid down my cheeks, seeing this Buck embraced me and held me tight. He then gazed into my eyes and uttered "I love you, Ravenhorse." " I love you too,Buck." I smiled sweetly at him, he returned that very same smile before giving me a passionate kiss. It was dark now and the wolf in me ached to be free, Charles watched me as I fidgeted where I sat, off on the edge of camp. The wolf also feared the campfire Buck made. Buck noticed this too and came over to help calm me, but it was no use, the wolf wanted to break out of my skin. Charles walked over to us, kneeling down he said "It is time for Ravenhorse to leave so she can tranform, come my son step away." Buck didn't want me to leave, but I assured him I'd be ok. I stood up and embraced him,looking into his soft dark eyes that shown great worry, he whispered "Come back to me." I carressed his cheek and slowly set off. Buck always missed me when he went on his pony express runs, I missed him too,worrying for his safety from both indians who didn't like half breeds and white men alike. My heart rejoiced when he rode back safe and sound, seeing his dark tan handsome face smiling as he rushed over to me before washing up for lunch or dinner. We refused to hide our feelings for each other in front of the riders,Teaspoon,Emma, and the townsfolk. Some of towns people knew of me living with indians and never understood why I chose a Kiowa half breed for my lover-especially Tompkins the owner of the general store. Buck and I payed him and the town of Sweetwater no mind. Giving Buck a final hug I slowly walked away feeling his gaze upon me, heading off to the far side od the tree line that was down far enough from Black Fox. Buck resumed getting ready for the battle he'll face tonight, Charles never slowed or pause his arranging and setting out the weapons he brought with in a rolled up indian blanket. Once he was done, Crowfeather sat on his heels, looked skyward and began to sing in lakota. Buck stood silent and listened, I heard it too as I reached the tree line. I sensed no sign of Black Fox,maybe he fled seeing the silver weapons Buck and his father possessed. I sat on the dusty ground and waited, crossed my legs indian style and also prayed and sang in lakota " Hey ya hey,hey ya hey,hey ya hey, yo hey,yo hey,yo hey." I too wore a medicine bag that was given to me by Standing Elk the day I was to leave with William. He said it would protect me as long as I wore it, it was made of tan deerskin with beautiful lakota beadwork and fringed at the bottom. I clutched it close to my heart hoping this night ended would be the end of my curse and that Buck would be safe and that Crowfeather succeeded in ridding his son of the wolf curse. Soon I saw the sun slinking down bringing on dusk, in minutes it was night and a big bright full moon stared down at us. A shock of pain ripped through me like lightning, the wolf in me made the decsion for me to undress, I obeyed. I frantically tore off my clothes for the full change coming on. i fell to all fours and resumed changing, my bones restructured themselves,either shortening or lengthening as I moaned aloud in pain. My teeth grew into long canines, fur sprouted all over my naked body,I even grew a tail. Soon I stood on four paws, looking out at Buck and Charles with wolf eyes. I threw my head skyward and let out a mournful howl that haunted all that heard it. Startled, Buck gasped, wondering if the howl came from me, taking the his gun from his holster he looked at Charles who held a silver tipped spear. "It is time, my son." he uttered to Buck. Cocking the his gun, Buck stood still and squinted into the darkness trying to see me or Charles' son. Adrenaline pumped through his body, he jumped when he heard another piercing howl that came from the black wolf. Then he saw it, it was the biggest wolf he's ever seen, it was about the size of a pony that stood 14 hands high, golden yellow eyes glowed brightly at him. Then Buck saw me, a white wolf the same height as the black one stalk out of the left side of the tree line,my head low and muzzle pulled back in an aggressive growl. Buck swallowed hard and replied in a whisper ,"Cindy." He started to approach me but Charles stopped him by grabbing his bicep and telling him to stay back. I approached Black Fox, he stood erect as dogs do when meeting a strange dog,I slowly circled him and sniffed,when he tried to mount me for mating I snapped at his shoulder,biting him. He let out a yelp,but didn't cease in his attempts at trying to mate, trying two more times I again bit him hard, on the leg,or shoulder. This caused him to grow angry and the fight was on. Buck stared fearful for me, afraid I would be badly hurt or killed, the black wolf was a little bigger than me and this made him react to my defense. "Wait!" Charles yelled, " I have to help her, he's going to kill her!" Buck said with excitement in his voice, Charles gave Buck a knowing look that said I'd be alright, frowning, Buck eased off and watched the fight between Black Fox and I. Blood matted my white fur, a mixture of mine and Black Fox's, though I was also wounded from tearing bites I wouldn't faulter, rage from him making me this way and tearing me away from Buck pushed me to continue the fight. Black Fox was stronger than I since he has killed humans and I being virgin to the kill, one swipe from his large paw sent me flying hard to the ground. "Now my friend, we must help Raven Horse." Charles commanded and both he and Buck ran toward us. the black wolf whirled around and stood ready blood stained teeth bared, he snapped at the air and growled feroiously at his father and a young indian wearing clothes of a white man. Buck pointed his gun at him,cocking it, ready to shoot if he had to. Crowfeather held up the silver tipped spear waiting for his son to attack, "I'm here to end your suffering Black Fox." he sadly uttered to his son, he growled louder at his father's words and turned to face him taking his attentions off Buck. Buck looked past him at me lying motionless on the ground, he feared I was dead and longed to run to my side, but the Black Fox stood in his way and Buck was filled with such fear he never knew he possessed till now. With a war cry Charles Crowfeather lunged toward his werewolf son, hoping the spear would hit home in his son's heart ending the curse. Buck gasped as he saw them collide,the wolf landing up on his mortal father. Charles held his son's muzzle up with the wooden part of the spear, Buck panicing fired at shot at the wolf missing him. The werewolf jumped off Charles and stalked toward Buck, head low and poised for attack, Buck's eyes widened and mouth agape in fear, his gun shook in his left hand as he tried to steady it on the beast. With a flash of white fur hitting the blac wolf I was upon him,holding him down with my large front paws. My sharp teeth close to his neck,he knew I could rip it out whenever I felt the cause. "Cindy." Buck breathed with relief I wasn't badly hurt or killed, I looked up at him,recognising him I relaxed my muzzle alittle, letting it cover my sharp teeth and whimpered sadly. Black Fox took this to his advantage,overpowering me, now he held me down with one large black paw as he eyed Buck hatefully. In one quick fluid motion his canines tore into my shoulder casuing me to yelp loudly and sapping my strength. "NO!" Buck yelled, squinted in hate he pointed his gun on the wolf, but before he could pull the trigger, a spear embedded itself into the black wolf's side and Crowfeather was now on top of his son pushing the spear in deeper. Getting unknowingly too close to it's jaws, Black Fox sank his teeth into his father's throat,spraying blood on him and the ground below. Charles fell on his back as the wolf fell on top of him,both were lifeless, the spear still protruded from it's side close to it's heart puncturing a lung. Buck fell to his knees,knwoing the battle was over, he felt sadness for Charles having to sacrifice his life to save his son. He uncocked his gun,but still held it incase he needed it to use on me. Standing up he walked slowly and cautiously toward my motionless figure still in wolf form. He slowly layed his right hand on my side,seeing that I was unaware of his presence he stroked my bloodstain white fur. Tears fell from his eyes, some spilled on my fur and melted into it, "Cindy, please,come back to me." he sobbed. I opened my eyes and whimpered,I wagged my tail slowly, and right before Buck's eyes my fur began to melt from my body as I slowly regained my human form. He pulled his hand away in shock and watched awestruck at the sight of me coming back to him. I now lay naked on my side facing him, he took off his coat and covered me, "Buck?" I called to him, smiling Buck placed a gentle hand on my cheek,"I'm here, it's over,we won." he said weary, he layed down and held me tight,his cheek pressed against my forehead, "I love you,Raven Horse." he whispered before sleep took him. I woke the next moring alone, Buck stood close by staring at Charles' lifeless body and his son,now in human form and naked laying still with the spear sticking out of him on top of his father. I rose. wrapping Buck coat around me and walked next to Buck, "He gave his life for his son." He said depressingly not taking his eyes off the corpses, I took his hand in mine, "As you would give your's for me." I said looking at him. Turning to me,Buck carressed my cheek and answered with a deep open lipped kiss. We burned the bodies in funeral pyre,we didn't leave until the fire was nothing but dying embers of orange and the bdoies of Crowfeather and Black Fox were ash. We walked back toward where Buck left his horse,which stood calmly as it saw me. At this sign I knew the curse of the Shungmanitou was over, untethering his horse Buck mounted first and helped me on back, I held onto him and pressed my cheek against his back hugging him. looking back at me, he sighed happily "Let's go home." I said looking into his eyes. At this he kicked his horse into a canter and we both headed toward Sweetwater. Looking back I saw two silohettes of an elder indian standing his arms raised,in one hand he held a spear,I knew it was Crowfeather,beside him was his son Black Fox, their spirits like mine were finally free. ~The End~