Disclaimer: Do I own PotF? Nah.

Via's Embarrassing Afternoon With Owen

Keely just had to know; it was eating her alive. Finally, her experiment was in bed asleep before Keely allowed herself the luxury of considering to do what she couldn't with Pim about, so when the last iota of her willpower vanished, she surrendered to the inevitable. She dialed her.

"Keely?"

"'Lo Vee. Hope you didn't mind us making it a four-some, but considering your history with Owen, I thought Phil and my presence would keep Owen reined in, or at least PG-rated."

"Ha-Ha. It was fine, really. I had a great time."

"So, spill! Everybody at school has been talking about "O-wen-Will-They-Go-Out" for months now. How'd you finally give in to his constant invitations? Flowers, poetry, concert tickets, or did you just go out to shut him up?"

"Oh, Keely. None of those. It was - actually, it was rather embarrassing. I probably shouldn't -"

"Now you have to!"

"(mumble mumble) Alright. Well, I was downtown window shopping last weekend and Owen ran into me, literally. Ever seen a feedbag for a horse in movies or cartoons? That was Owen, then, doing what I suppose was a fine imitation of one, but with a forty-ounce cup, trying to free the last of a milkshake from the bottom of the vessel."

"HIS milkshake, I hope."

"(shudder) I didn't consider that not being a possibility. Anyway, he helped me back up, actually apologized, and, and, we -"

"You 'what?"

"Nothing, really. Just had a nice time. Say, you never did explain why you cancelled our shoe outing last weekend."

"Oh, well, that ... was something my momy needed help on," Keely fudged, as she could hardly have told Via about Phil and her having to spend the day pulling the 22nd Century weeds that Pim had been selling as "Plant Pets." Then Keely went on the offense with, "SAY, you're just trying to change the subject, Little Missy. I want to hear the embarassing part."

"Crumbs. Say, did you hear what happened in Miss Donaldson's English class today?"

"No, what? WAIT. Stop that. Veee-uhhhhh..."

"(Sigh) So, Owen and I were walking down Main Street, and I started paying more attention to him than the window displays. He was actually great. We were having a real conversation without him hitting on me every eight seconds, then -"

"THEN, THEN?"

"Well, this is the part that's a teensy bit embarrassing. See? We were rounding the corner on Second, and I'm thinking, "Uh-oh."

"Because Otto's Pink Pig is coming up on the next cross street?"

"Precisely. You know Owen and Owen's stomach. The two of them were bound to ask me to join them in a bite, then he'd be calling that our first date from then on out."

Keely sympathized, "I can see where that would be embarrassing."

"Yes, well, hrmph, that's actually not the embarrassing bit. Thinking fast, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a dojo that had just opened up, with a banner that read:

.

Martial Arts - Couples Only

.

Next thing Owen knows, backward I'm pulling him inside the store with both my arms, telling him that this will be fun for the both of us. Owen is resisting me, though, dragging his feet and asking me if I've thought this through, and I'm all, 'What are you, afraid that I'll take you down on the mat in front of everybody, Mr. O-wen-Will-He-Put-His-Money-Where-His-Mouth-Is? Come on, Mister, because it says I have to have a partner to practice with and I pick you. Now, move it!'"

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, which was really strange from Mr. O-wen-Will-He-Ever-Stop-Talking? I pulled him through the empty reception area to the back where I could hear an instructor's voice accompanied by the grunts and groans of students practicing. Mind you, cowardly Owen is still resisting me as I pull him through the curtain, my back to the class, but I could see his eyes grow as large as saucers."

"He was afraid of getting creamed."

"That's what I thought. I was teasing Owen about his being a spoil sport and big fraidy cat, and I started asking the dojo master about our joining his class while I turned around. Keely, I had misread the sign. It had actually read:

.

Marital Arts - Couples Only

.

"Oh, Jeez. What did you do?"

"Well, I was dumbstruck. Couples were on a circle of mats with an old guy in the center of the ring instructing them to - well, sufficed to say that this night they were already working on how to - bedroom stuff - without any clothes on."

"Oh Boy! Owen must have gone into full blown teenage boy mode with all that in front of him. How'd you ever get him out again?"

Via was silent just for a moment, then started again calmer, with a lack of embarrassment finally, replaced by what, Keely wondered; was Via actually smittened?

"My mouth was wide open, Keely, but I couldn't talk. Awkward? I was mortified. Then, Owen just stepped forward, apologized to everyone (I think I saw Mr. Weatherwax, but his back was mostly turned), and led me back outside."

"You saw Mr. Weatherwax's butt? I'm so sorry, Vee. I bet they're going to make double sure they lock their front door from now on."

"Owwie was great, Keely. A perfect gentleman. THE Perfect Gentleman. He never spoke of it again, and I - I asked him out after that. You understand why, don't you?"

"Did you just call him 'O-wee'?"

Via didn't respond, 'xactly, yet Keely was certain she heard her pal's ivory cheeks blooming into rosy glow, and that was all "Miss Matchmaker" required as permission to be meddlesome. No one expected that Via becoming interested in Owen would trigger a strain upon Keely and Via's relationship. Keely should have backed off. If only Keely had read her matchmaker's handbook closer, she'd have realized that while a "best" friend knudges, a pest friend kibitzes.

-:-

Author's Note: Lise Simms (Barbara Diffy) is back on tv wearing glasses. It doesn't show up on her internet movie database page, but she's hosting a weekly geneology show called Generations Project on the BYU channel. Sure, she sounded like she was having fun, but she also did when she was hocking carpet shampooers in an infomercial. Ah, the glamourous career of an actress. I wonder if her husband lets her ride in his hovercraft and hand delivers her reservation refund bonuses.