Yusuke Destroys RAW
By: DMEX
Nadda is mine
-Green Room-
(Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan are talking amongst themselves when Yusuke comes in)
Gail Kim: …And he says to her-
*SLAM!*
Yusuke (pissed): YOU THINK SOMETHING ABOUT ME IS FUNNY? HUH? HUH!
Daniel: Dude, you need to chill out… We never mention anything about you.
Gail Kim: What's your problem?
Yusuke (more pissed off): YOU ARE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!
(punches both of them and they are out cold)
Yusuke: I feel better now…
(Botan comes in and sees the destruction)
Botan: What was that about!
Yusuke: I did that 'cause they pissed me off…
Botan: To a woman, no less!
-RAW Zone-
Cole: Real mature, Yusuke…! Beating up the Divas in the back!
King: I got to agree, but Daniel Bryan, I give my respect to…
Cole: Daniel Bryan deserves it! He sucks AND he's a geek! A nerd!
King: He stood up to him and defended Gail's honor, Cole. And if that doesn't earn anybody's respect, I don't know what will.
*: EXCUSE ME!
(crowd boos)
King: Oh, God… Why now, Vickie…?
Vickie: EXCUSE ME!
(crowd boos louder)
Vickie: Give my "good friend" a warm welcome, Dolph Ziggler!
The Titantron changes to Yusuke's Titantron Video as Austin 3:16 blares as the people in the WWE Universe gives a standing ovation Stone Cold Steve Austin style for Yusuke Urameshi
Cole (angry): YUSUKE IS NO STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
Yusuke (angry): WILL YOU SHUT THE !$! UP ALREADY!
Vickie: How dare you-
(crowd boos)
Vickie: EXCUSE ME!
Yusuke (angry): WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST FREAKIN' TIME, ASSHOLE!
Vickie: How dare you speak to me that way! Show some respect!
Yusuke: Have it your way then…
Yusuke gets in her face with that sinister smile (from Surprised to be Dead)
Yusuke: I'm in a REAL good mood right now. It makes me a real jerk, and I feel like kicking your ass to this track I prepared just for you…
Cole: Don't do it!
I'm back!
Vickie (angry): HELL NO! I'M NOT GETTING BEAT UP TO THAT!
(fighting starts, crowd cheers wildly)
And better than ever.
I'm back!
To make some things better…
Face first,
'Cause your opinion don't matter
This maniac-
-Is gonna step on WHOEEEVEEEERR!
Cole: Yusuke should be arrested!
AWESOME!
(Crowd boos intensely to The Miz and also spit insults at him)
Cole: Finally! Some reasonable person comes out!
King (sarcastically): Some reasonable person HE is…!
Miz: Yusuke Urameshi… You are a Japanese rewrite of Stone Cold Steve Austin…
Yusuke: SEZ YOU, ASSHOLE!
Miz: At least I'm original!
Yusuke: That's some talk for someone who needed help beating a 60 year old man!
King: You tell him Yusuke! Fight the power!
(computer blips, Cole laughs evilly)
Cole: Boys, I've received an e-mail from the anonymous General Manager.
Yusuke: If someone has something they want to tell me, they should just come to me and say it.
Cole: Tonight, you are all in for a great main event-
Crowd: What?
Cole: -as Yusuke will face The Miz in a School Yard Brawl. Weapons will be legal and encouraged. However, you bleed, you lose. Enjoy Yusuke, because if you lose Yusuke, I'm going to allow the Divas to beat you up with baseball bats!
King: You better win Yusuke!
-5 minutes later, Backstage-
Camera man: You okay?
Yusuke (angry): GET OFFA ME! YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T BUST YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH!
-The Main Event-
AWESOME!
(crowd boos)
(opening bell)
Justin Roberts: This match is a School Yard Brawl, the only way to win is to make your opponent bleed and weapons are legal and encouraged. On the way to the ring, from Cleveland, Ohio weighing 231 lbs THE MIIIIZZ!
Cole: I hope that Yusuke loses to The Miz.
King: Yusuke better win this or he's in the beating of his life.
Austin 3:16 blares and the crowd gives another Stone Cold ovation
Justin Roberts: And his opponent; accompanied to the ring by his assistant Botan, from His Own Hell Hole, standing at 5'7", weighing 189 lbs, YUUUSUKKE URAAAMESSSHIIII!
King: Looks like Botan is going to join us on commentary.
Botan: Honestly, I don't understand why Yusuke has to aggress his authority on everybody.
Cole: You work with the guy.
(Opening match bell, and the fighting starts)
Botan: Koenma should be around here somewhere.
*: I'm right here! And you're sitting on me.
Botan: Sorry, Koenma sir.
Cole: How long you been in that seat?
Koenma: I've been here all night!
(chops are heard as the crowd responds with Woos!)
Botan (winces): I hope we don't see skin flying off. That looked painful.
King: I've been on both ends of that. Trust me it hurts.
(Yusuke picks up a bamboo stick)
Cole: I don't like where this is going…
Koenma: No kidding! That's worse than a leather belt!
(slacks are heard)
King: The Miz is bleeding like a stuffed pig! This is great!
(Randy Orton comes in and holds off the ref)
Koenma (while punching Cole in the head with a headlock): Check The Miz ref! He's bleeding! Don't pay attention to Randy Orton!
(the ref sees it and asks for the bell)
Austin 3:16 blares as the crowd cheers
(Randy Orton glares at Yusuke, then gives him an RKO)
Cole: RKO!
(Randy "Starts to hear voices in his head")
Cole: Don't do it!
Koenma: YUSUKE! GET OUTTA THERE!
(Punts Yusuke in the skull, crowd cheers)
Kayko comes from out of the Security Barrier to confront Randy Orton
Botan: Keiko, watch out!
(Randy Orton and Kayko are in an intense stare down)
Cole: How smart is this to stare at the face of "The Viper"?
(Gives Kayko an RKO)
King: RKO!
Cole: Kayko asked for that one…
King: I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but I agree with you…
-3 Days Later Urameshi house-
Atsuko: Yusuke! Are you alright?
Yusuke: I think-
(3 smacks to the head are heard)
Yusuke: OW! WHAT DID I DO?
Atsuko: That was for beating up Daniel Bryan and Gail Kim, running your mouth to Vickie and for letting yourself get punted in the skull and putting Kayko in danger!
Yusuke: Like I asked for the Punt! Wait, Kayko was their? I never saw her…
Kayko: Thanks for letting me get hurt with that RKO! Some friend you are!
Yusuke: I was already out cold when he punted me!
(Yusuke and Kayko's arguing is heard)
END?