Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I don't own the characters from the series that I abuse here. They seem to enjoy it, though. (^.~)

Good Times

By danse

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Careful what you're feeling on the inside
You should try to remember the good times and the high life
Are you feeling alright?

Felt that I belonged 
And now I feel that gone
Where it all went wrong
I traced it all along
Back here again...

(Good Times, by Finger Eleven)

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~*~

He was standing in the schoolyard with his head down and his books dangling from one hand, while five of them stood in a circle around him. My friend Jenny and I were standing near the door of the school. She was telling me about some boring thing she'd heard about a girl in the other Grade 2 class, and the words went in one ear and out the other as I stood there watching him. I was drawn to the scene, completely unable to look away.

He was new at the school this year; he was one of the orphans who lived at Father Maxwell's church. Every time I saw him, I noticed that he looked kind of dirty, like he didn't wash enough. He wore black clothes that made him look like the minister, and his hair was probably even longer than Jenny's, and she could nearly sit on hers. He always kept it in a braid.

The boy was really quiet, but because he looked weird, the boys started picking on him. Every day before school and at recess, they would stand in a circle around him to tease him and call him names. Usually I didn't care enough to pay attention, but today there was something that made me watch that boy and see what would happen.

Jenny and I were standing close enough to hear some of what they were saying to him; one of the biggest ones, Tom, was talking really loudly, with a sneer on his face.

"Where's your dress, girlie?"

"Ha ha, put a bow in that hair, wuss!"

For a long time, the boy just stood there, staring at the ground, and took it. But there was something about the way he was standing today...I was sure that something was about to happen.

I took a step towards the group, and then another one, and behind me Jenny stopped talking when she finally realized that I wasn't paying attention to her.

She asked just what I thought I was doing, walking over there and sticking my nose where it didn't belong, but I ignored her and walked closer to the boy, my patent leather shoes clicking on the concrete and my pink backpack shifting against my frilly yellow dress.

Now that I was closer, I could see it clearly: the boy was tensed, fists clenched at his side, like a stretched rubber band right before it snaps. My skin tingled. He was about to lose it.

Suddenly, Tom reached out and gave the boy's braid a yank that snapped his head up. "You smell like a sewer," he said.

In the instant that his head was up, the boy's eyes locked on mine, and all I saw in them was purple lightning, like what flashes on the colony sides during the fake storms. But that boy's eyes looked a lot more dangerrous than any lightning could.

I barely had time to duck out of the way before the thunder came. The boy moved faster than fast, and had Tom on the ground before anyone could blink. He started beating on Tom with his fists, and screaming, and it took two of the older boys and a teacher to pull him off.

Tom crawled to his feet with his hand covering his nose, which had blood pouring out of it, and then they both were sent to the nurse and the principal's office, and we didn't see either one again that day. The whole class whispered about it, and the teacher kept yelling at us to do our spelling assignments. Jenny whispered non-stop to anyone who would listen all day. I sat quietly and thought about the boy standing there all tense with lightning in his eyes, and the thunder that came after.

***

Two days later, the talking stopped, and the story got old. The boy came back to school. I had just left my house that morning when he came trudging down the street from the church, with his books under one arm and his head hanging down.

I caught up to him and started walking beside him. He looked at me like I had three heads, and then looked back at his feet without saying a word.

"Hi," I said cheerfully. "I'm Sarah. What's your name?"

He didn't answer me for a minute. Then he said, "Duo," really softly. His voice sounded rusty, like he didn't use it very much.

We were both quiet for a while, just walking. I scuffed my heels on the sidewalk just to hear the noise. Finally, I looked at him and said, "I think your hair's really neat." I frowned, thinking as I played with one of my shorter brown curls. "It's so long. I wish I could get my hair to grow that long. Your hair's even longer than Jenny's. I bet you could sit on it if you wanted. Can you?"

Duo shook his head, and his braid shook a little with it. "Nope. Pretty close, though."

The silence was more comfortable for the next couple of blocks. "You know," I said suddenly, "that Tom's just talk, right? He's too big for his britches." I loved that phrase; I'd gotten it from my mom. "Those boys didn't really mean what they said...that you smell like a sewer."

He looked at me, right into my eyes. His weren't purple anymore. They'd changed to a sad blue. "Yeah, they did," he whispered.

"Well, I don't think you smell like a sewer, Duo." To prove my point, I leaned closer and sniffed his hair. He actually didn't smell like anything in particular, except maybe recently scrubbed. When I leaned away again, he was watching me closely for a reaction, so I smiled. "See?"

Then he smiled, just a little, mind you, but it lit up the whole colony. My new friend and I walked happily the rest of the way to the school.

When we got near the schoolyard, though, I saw him shrink, and he went back to watching his feet as he shuffled along.

Oh no, you don't! I thought, and grabbed his hand, swinging it merrily as we walked into the yard. He straightened up again and squeezed my hand a little tighter, and I put a bold smile on my face.

As we walked in, everybody froze. I felt nervous; I'd never done anything so brave before. I smiled more and felt excited. I showed that smile to everyone who looked, and kept holding Duo's hand and swinging it as we went.

A schoolyard full of stares beat against my straight back and followed us inside. Near the door, I spotted Jenny, standing and staring with her mouth hanging open in shock. She looked like a dead fish, and I almost laughed.

Duo and I took seats in the class beside each other and waited for the bell to ring.

***

No one talked to me all day. Instead, I talked to Duo, and after a while he talked back. I told him that my dad worked for the army, and he said, which one? The Alliance or the rebels?

"Ummm..." I honestly didn't know.

"You should prob'ly find out," he said matter-of-factly. "It's good to know which side you're on."

I nodded, and then tried to ask about his life. No matter how much I would prod him, he never got mad at me, but all he would say was that he was a war orphan, and had lived on the colony ever since he could remember.

We would talk about other things instead. All kinds of things, whatever we could think of at the time. We were best friends for three months, partly because everyone else had stopped talking to me, including Jenny.

***

It was the beginning of February 188, and we were walking home from school like we always did. Usually, we parted ways in front of my house, and he called, "Bye!" as he walked away. Today, though, I turned to walk up my front lawn and he grabbed my arm. He had a really strong grip for an eight-year-old. I turned back to face him, a little confused and nervous. I was surprised to see that his eyes, which had only looked blue ever since that day in the schoolyard, were almost the colour of my mom's African violets. He looked nervous, too.

"Sarah..." he said.

"Yeah?"

He was silent; he bit his lip and looked at me as if he was trying to make up his mind about something. Then he quickly leaned toward me and kissed my cheek, before scurrying back a few steps, watching me.

I tried to talk, but my brain was empty. I put my hand on my cheek and stared at him while my mouth moved silently, like Jenny's had three months ago.

He shifted from one foot to the other, looking like he was regretting what he'd just done. I thought he was about to run, so I took all of the feelings that I couldn't put into words, and put them into a smile instead.

He froze and stared into my eyes, and then he melted. "Bye!" he said with a grin, and took off for home.

I floated into my house, and almost forgot to shut the front door behind me.

***

The next morning, I poked my head out of the front door at the usual time and looked down the street for Duo, who would be walking towards my house.

He wasn't there.

I walked all the way to the street and looked again. He wasn't there.

Thinking he might be playing a trick on me, I searched every hiding place on my street. He wasn't anywhere.

I went back to the front of my house and sat on my lunchbox on the sidewalk, thinking he must be a little late.

After fifteen minutes, I had to run all the way to make it to school. I got there out of breath, dishevelled, upset, and two minutes after the bell rang. Everyone watched me as I moved to one of the two empty seats near the back.

I spent the whole day alone, and walked home alone that afternoon.

My dad came home long after I'd gone to bed that night, but I wasn't asleep, so I got up and crouched at the top of the stairs in my pajamas, straining to hear while he talked to my mom in the kitchen.

"...Big mess," he said. "We told Father Maxwell...week...total solidarity." He paused, and when he spoke again, he sounded like he was trying not to cry. "...Still can't believe...whole church is gone, though."

My mother said something too softly to hear.

"No," he answered. "We couldn't find anyone alive in the rubble."

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Father Maxwell...the Maxwell Church and everyone in it was gone. Duo was dead.

***

The whole school was talking about it the next day. The Alliance had come and attacked the Maxwell Church the night before, and 245 people had died. Duo never showed up at school again. I wore my black dress every day for a week, until my mom made me change so that she could wash it. She hid the dress from me, saying that little girls shouldn't mourn.

Jenny started talking to me again, but even though we were friends for years after that, it never quite felt the same.

***

When I was 15, I quit school, ran away from home, and stowed away on a shuttle to Earth. I signed up to join OZ right away. I had little interest in an education, but I thought I would find a life in the military.

I started out doing simple things like sweeping the floors, delivering messages, and making coffee, but after a few months, somebody noticed that I was stubborn, tough, and very athletic, and they decided to put me in mobile suit testing.

I did a good job, and by July 195, I was piloting a Space Leo. I fought in a lot of battles, and I always knew which side I was on. I was on the side against the too-powerful Gundams, who were going to destroy the beautiful Earth and the colonies if we didn't stop them. I was on the side that paid more. I was on the side that would win the war, because we were led by the strong, savvy Treize Kushrenada.

***

Everybody was thrilled that we'd finally caught a Gundam pilot. The whole organization buzzed with the news of the battle where some Taurus suits had brought down a Gundam. The one we'd caught was 02, the pilot of Gundam Deathscythe. 02 had some kind of advanced cloaking device on his suit that allowed him to appear out of nowhere in a battle. A handful of survivors of his less successful battles claimed that he called himself 'the God of Death', and 'the Great Destroyer'.

Today, I was at Baruji base with my platoon, for repairs to our Leos, and I was finally going to see my enemy.

Most of the base gathered around TV monitors and windows, waiting for the pilot to be hauled out of the prisoner transport. I was standing in a coveted position at the front door, waiting to open it to let the prisoner and his guards inside.

The transport pulled in and I heard cheering and whistling. Someone was banging on the windows upstairs. Three officers hauled out a guy who looked about my age, who hung limply between them with his head down. He had long hair, which was all I could see of him besides his black clothes.

Something in the back of my brain tugged at me, and my cheek tingled. Probably a mosquito bite from my last trip planetside, a few days ago.

I opened my side of the double doors when the group got close enough, and saluted sharply as they went through. The movement startled the Gundam pilot, and he glanced up at me. Our eyes locked, and for an instant I saw purple lightning, but then he blinked and his eyes became a sad, tired blue.

I gasped. His head dropped, and he was marched away.

I was so flustered that a soldier beside me gave me a sharp nudge to close the door--reporters were trying to get in.

When it was closed, I collapsed against it, breathing hard and shaking. A myriad of images ran through my head: the purple storm in Duo's eyes; that tiny smile; the quick, nervous kiss on the cheek... You should prob'ly find out. It's good to know which side you're on...

I realized that my hand was pressed to my cheek, and that I was crying. I'd thought he was dead for eight years, but I'd been fighting against him for a year without knowing it.

"...Helston! Private Helston!"

I became aware of people calling my name.

"Y-yes?"

"Are you alright?"

I looked around me slowly, then got up off of the floor and wiped the tears out of my eyes. "I'm fine."

I walked with my comrades to the interrogation room, staring hard at my feet and concentrating only on putting one foot in front of the other.

***

My commanding officer was leading the interrogation, and he had called our whole platoon in to learn, and to serve as official witnesses.

"Who'd have thought that Gundam pilot was a little kid?" my C.O. murmured when he saw Duo.

Duo smirked maniacally. "Sorry about that," he crooned. "Does it hurt your pride?"

I was standing where I could see Duo's face, just behind my C.O. He looked cocky and self-assured, even though he knew he was going to die. He glanced at me once during the proceedings, blinked and frowned as if trying to remember something, and then looked away. His eyes were blue, and somehow managed to look lively and morose all at once. They were bright, like he had a fever.

When the interrogation was over, I helped three other officers take Duo to his cell in the prison block. I was walking behind him, one was in front, and the other two were on either side of him.

"I'm Sarah," I whispered in his ear when I got the chance. "What's your name?"

A pause. "Duo Maxwell," he answered just as softly.

Maxwell--the Maxwell Church. He paid homage to it whenever he said his name. I wondered if he remembered me at the same time.

"You say you fight for the colonies?" I asked.

"For the colonies, against you Ozzie bastards," he answered sharply.

I nodded sombrely, though he couldn't see it, since I was behind him. "It's good to know which side you're on," I murmured.

He stopped and tried to look around at me, but we were at his cell. Enough messing with his head, I thought. You know it's him, he doesn't remember you, and it's too late now.

"I hope you're prepared to die for your cause," I said as I pushed him in.

He turned around in the dark cell, and his eyes glowed. "If you're on the right side, and you believe in it, you'll always be prepared to die for it. Are *you,* my little Ozzie?" he cackled.

I bit my lip and slammed the cell door, walking away from the question, asked by a stranger to a stranger.

***

Earlier this evening, Duo escaped with the help of another Gundam pilot. Had I seen them, I probably would have tried to stop them. It's part of my job, after all. Besides, I feel a little jealous of Duo now. He doesn't deserve what he has, that I don't. He seems to be at peace with himself. He can say that he's doing something that he truly believes in.

Maybe if the Alliance hadn't blown up his home and killed everyone around him, we'd still be together on the colony, as high school sweethearts. I'd have someone to love me, I'd still be in school instead of risking my life in a war, and I wouldn't feel as lonely and lost as I do right now.

I was sent out this evening with the rest of my platoon to attack Gundam 05, which was spotted nearby Baruji. I've been hanging back during this battle--I don't want to fight. Life suddenly isn't as black-and-white as I thought, and I don't think that I want to be here anymore. I didn't pick the right side after all.

Did Duo got out safely? I wonder, as I roll away from a barrage of fire. Live to fight another day, you lucky bastard...

The whole platoon is concentrated in one area, trying futilely to bring down 05. What a waste of resources, I grumble to myself. This is a bunch of fanatics, trying to kill every rebel they see. I'm surprised Colonel Une hasn't thought of a better strategy for this battle yet...

Suddenly I hear a high-pitched whine, and I check my cameras to see where it's coming from. The battle's still going strong; maybe the others haven't heard it yet. Where is...?

All at once, the pieces click in my brain, and I realize that we're all packed tightly together, hemming in 05...in front of Baruji's beam cannon.

What a shame...Before I even found the cause I wanted to die for... I start giggling hysterically, because I feel scared and helpless. I'm going to die now, cause or no cause, and so are all of these poor bastards around me.

I abandon my controls and put my hand on my cheek thoughtfully, reminiscing a little about Duo, and Jenny, and the colony I grew up on, as I look out of my cameras at the stars. I guess this is what it feels like to have your life flash before your eyes. Maybe all you get to see is the highlights--the truly important parts. If any of it is really important.

I notice 05 rolling away from the beam, right before my Leo explodes around me.