My Prevaricating Truth
Written By: CryLain
Summary: Ever wanted the truth to be a lie? That somehow, someway, all that you felt and knew was prevaricate of what your true love is doing to you? Well that is what Tifa feels about Cloud. And that's what I'm expressing in this poem.
Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy VII. Nothing belongs to me.
Author's Note: This is a poem I wrote basing off of Tifa's uncontrollable love she has for Cloud and how she knows the truth of how horrible he treats her but she denies that fact of the matter and wants it to be a lie, or something that must be wrong. That is why this poem is called, "My Prevaricating Truth"
I know I'm meant for something more
But only the rare find their true love,
While the rest get left with what will never be theirs
I'm one of the rest, that cannot discard my heart
Because my heart is treacherous, leading me to your broken essence
Forgive me, if I never get over you
My Prevaricating Truth
Your vacant heart, I crave so badly
It's something I want, I may never have
My thoughts of you always turned to ashes
Leaving me with nothing but frailty
Fazed. Left forgotten by your love
Love me twice, and I'll die once
I'm shattered. Hurt. Broken because of you!
My Prevaricating Truth
Maybe someday, one day soon
You'll realize that I was always there
Sitting in the darkest corner, watching all fall down
And I tried so many times to save you from your nightmarish hell
That when it came to me, I lost myself
Forgive me, if I. For once. Don't save you
My Prevaricating Truth
I gave all and so much more
And what for? Just for you to not notice
But I still love you Cloud
Even though I hate you as well
My anger of what you have done to my heart
Is there, yet hiding beneath despair
I'm forgotten. Dismantled. Forsaken by your presence
My Prevaricating Truth
You raped me of my heart
Now that's something that'll always be yours
Every gaze, every look
You abuse me with your dormant eyes
Those eyes I try so hard to see through
But I never can, will I ever have the chance?
I'm the dream that when you awake you forget
My Prevaricating Truth
Forgive me, for loving you more then myself
You're a love. Thought. Feeling. That I can't conceal
Oh Cloud, I never had the chance did I?
Because I'm a love you deny
You only see me as sister. Friend. Comrade don't you?
My Prevaricating Truth
You loved me once Cloud. Only once
And oh how I wish I cherished your love so much more then
But that is a wish, a wish that will never transcend
Will you even care if I cut deeper this time?
Past the vein, past the cry's
Because my tears to you are unseen, make-believe
My Prevaricating Truth
I envy her. The one whom stole your precious heart from me
Though she is dead now, dead as can be
She still lives on in your dreams and memories
I know the feeling Cloud
The feelings you have for her, I have for you
And damned, how messed and twisted up that is
How I wish I could change the present
My Prevaricating Truth
All I ever wanted, was you Cloud
But you don't want me, you want her instead
I'm a thought that's meant to break, I know now
Still smells the flower he loves, even though it's dead
For you, it's harder to realize
Because you never look around to see what's bona fide
Oh Cloud, you let go a long time ago
And sank into remorse
Abandoning me with nothing to hold
But don't worry my love,
I'm used to it now. Comfortably numb
Numb to it all, numb to you!
That's my prevaricating truth…..
The Meaning of the Words I Used
Treacherous: deceitful, untrustworthy, false.
Essence: heart, figure, spirit.
Frailty: infirmity, weakness.
Fazed: Upset, disturbed.
Nightmarish: frightening, lurid.
Despair: hopelessness, misery.
Dismantled: taken apart.
Forsaken: abandoned, isolated.
Dormant: hidden, quiet.
Conceal: hide, cover up.
Transcend: go beyond, exceed.
Prevaricate: evade, lie
Alright, I hope I didn't vent off too much. Because I know this poem is long. But a good long poem although. Well I hope you enjoyed it. Please review if you feel like it. After all, this is my first posting on fanfiction and it would mean a lot to me if I got reviews. Thanks again for reading.
CryLain