Ahh! Just saw "Jimmy" for the first time this morning. I LOVE it. Richie angstall the way. So, worked on "Holding On." a bit, But my brain really couldn't let this go. Kept bugging me all morning. So here's the first chapter and hopefully I'll be putting out more real soon. Please review.

Question: Are Author's notes better at the end or beginning of chapters? Anyone know how to keep first line indents when posting?

Cheers;
Saturn's Hikari

For the Second Time

"Hello, Richard." She smiled at me.

School psychiatrist. Everyone had to do this. Virgil and Frieda went. Nick and his cronies, too, before their suspension. But I'm the only one that's been here twice. Everyone else just came once and they were fine. But I'm back again. Just because, you know, I had a traumatic experience.

I gave a lopsided grin back. "It's Richie, remember. Only teachers call me Richard."

I sank into the seat, and rested my crutches against the table. Crutches are fun for about the first day. Swinging around and crutching along, it's all good. Then they get annoying. And tiring. That crutch, swing step rhythmic seems embedded in my brain. Plant the crutches; swing your leg, step. Plant the crutches swing your leg, step. I think that's driving me insane more than anything.

"How are you doing, Richie?" She's a nice looking lady, would have to be though, if she wants to help kids with "traumatic experiences."

"Hunky Dory Crutches are evil, though. Maybe they're a form of cruel and unusual punishment." That would make sense.

Evil doctors must have weekly meetings. "Now instead of confining victims to beds, we must left them go free." Boo hiss. "But wait. What's this? No, we can hobble them. Give a taste of true freedom and hold it out of reach. No more running or jumping, basketball. Dependant on others for carrying books- even when it's only their leg that's broken! I give you- the crutch!" I grin at my imaginary evil maniacs.

She frowns though, and fixes the glasses on her nose. "Do you think you are being punished, Richie?"

"What? No- I just meant the crutches. They're, you know, evil."

She stares at me, doesn't believe it. I hate psychiatrists- always looking for deeper meanings. Maybe I just hate crutches. Or…

"Ok, yeah. Maybe I didn't deserve a bullet in the leg, but I mean- I knew Jimmy wasn't quite right and bullied, but I didn't do anything. I didn't stop it."

She nods and I go on.

"He, Jimmy, he didn't seem… he didn't stand up for himself…. He just…I don't know."

She nodded at me- maybe nodding's a job requirement-and folded her hands. "After Jimmy was shoved in the locker, you went to see him. Did Virgil go with you?"

I looked away. There's something I regret. If only V had come along. "No, I didn't tell him."

"Why not?"

"He would have wanted to come. And Virgil..." I grin, just his name makes me smile.

"Virgil's my best friend. We can have fun doing anything, everything. So I figured if he came along… I'd I know be more with him, than just hanging with Jimmy. Jimmy and me watched some sci-fi movies, ate pizza and then I went home."

"He didn't mention anything about a gun?"

I looked down at my leg, scribbled over with signs and well wishers. There's a big caricature of himself that Virgil did, yesterday in study hall. Daisy had drawn some flowers, written 'get well soon.' Same as Frieda, hers was in a heart, though. Random people I didn't even know asked at sign my cast. Everyone that was there when Jimmy had-.. All their names are there. Almost half the school's. But Jimmy's. Jimmy's wasn't there.

"Yeah," I said. "He did mention a gun."

-

"You cannot think that was a good movie. The graphics were horrible. I could see the zippers on every costume." Jimmy said, around his mouthful of pizza.

I grinned back at him, proudly pleased. Jimmy wasn't that bad. He was quiet and all, but once he got going, he wasn't bad. If only everything in life could be sci-fi.

"That's the whole point." I said. "Sci-fi movies aren't suppose to be good. It's the perfect bad movie."

He sighed and a grabbed another slice. We'd eaten that and chips and soda, but Mrs. Osgood didn't seem mind. She must be happy Jimmy has a friend over. "Those lasers were cool, though."

"Yeah. Pleeezzz. Captain…. We've ….sighted another. Pleezzz Pleezzz." I pantomimed jumping behind the couch shooting at aliens. "Arghh. I've… been… hit. Tell… her…. I loved… her."

I collapsed eagle spread on Jimmy's carpet and my tongue rolled out for good measure.

Jimmy laughed and I pulled myself up. Score one for Richie. That was the first time I'd gotten him to laugh.

"Imagine- imagine doing that," he forced out between laughs. "Doing that to Nick."

The smile dropped off my face.

He wanted to shoot Nick? With a gun? Kill him. He couldn't want to do that, would he? My mind flashed back to all the times Jimmy been bullied. Study hall. Gym. Outside school. Community center. Shoved in a locker. It seemed a day hadn't gone by when he wasn't picked on.

But, could he really want to kill them?

Jimmy stared at me, his own eyes wide in a reflection off my own and the pizza he held dropped back to his plate. He seemed to realize what he'd said.

I waited for the explanation- the stammered 'I really didn't mean it, just a joke, not very funny, you know…

It didn't come.

"Uh. Jimmy." I started. "you… didn't mean that you want to kill them, right?"

He sighs, relieved. "No."

I nodded, it was just a bad joke- a really bad joke, and dug into my pizza, again. I missed the rest of his sentence, though.

"….Just teach them a lesson."

-

She stared at me, when I finished, and I know my hands are shaking. Stupid. But I could have stopped it. I could have told, could have… Could'a; would'a; should'a;

Stupid Richie.

"I'd like to see again tomorrow, Richie. Do you have a study hall?" She says, helping me with my crutches.

"I don't have gym." Not with my evil crutches.

"Alright. I'd like you to come then."

I nod and crutch my way out the door. Here we go again.