The Discovery of Mutsumi Otohime's Disease: Another One-Shot
A very OOC fanfic by SSJ2 PikaFlash, full of Vitamins and Minerals and the same one who did 'The Death of Keitaro Urashima' in an almost similar format.
Disclaimers: As usual, all characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners...
In a (Pseudo)-Medical General Practitioner's office, Dr. Mitsune Konno (aka. Kitsune) was at her desk, waiting for her next patient.
"Miss Otohime," Kitsune called out.
Mutsumi enters the office.
"Hi, doctor," Mutsumi greeted. "Please call me Mutsumi."
"Mutsumi...Otohime? The Mutsumi Otohime from the famous Anime?"
"Yes. Love Hina."
Kitsune scratches her head. "It's just that you don't seem to pronounce certain words based from Okinawa."
"Actually, I can't do that. The crew are planning on fixing it in post-production. If they don't, Ken's getting a big mouthful."
"I could say the same. I can't do a Kansai accent when I am supposed to do one. By the way, which Ken?"
"Ichijouji."
"Give him hell for me too," Kitsune said. "Anyway, please, sit down, Miss Otohime."
"Mutsumi," Mutsumi corrected.
"Of course, Mutsumi. Are you sitting down?" Kitsune asked.
Mutsumi sat down on the chair. "Now I am."
"Good. It's just that the fanfic is a bit light on the paragraphs today so I decided to check to make sure. I blame the 'Death of Keitaro Urashima' for the over use of descriptive ideas."
Mutsumi nods. "I understand. You were saying?"
"The results of your physical tests have come back and I'm afraid Miss Otohime...Mutsumi...that you have Mutsumi Otohime's Disease.
An awkward silence from Mutsumi...then, she asked, "And how did I get that exactly?"
"You must have caught it off someone."
"Who?"
It was Kitsune's turn to have an awkward silence...then, she gives the answer. "Yourself."
"Oh my. That kinda brings me back to my first question, doesn't it?" Mutsumi said.
"Oh, how did you get it? Well...saliva, probably. Have you had any of your own saliva in your mouth lately?" Kitsune asked.
"I think so."
Kitsune writes on a sheet of paper. "Mystery solved, Case Closed, Myth Busted and the Power is Yours."
"Oh my."
"I know this may be upsetting for you, but it's best if you could try to avoid yourself if you could. Further exposure might cause complications," Kitsune explained as she continued writing.
"Now that you mention it. I haven't been feeling myself lately, but I never imagine that the cause of it would be a disease so closely linked to my identity.
Kitsune had a chuckle, but not like the type from the Simpson's Dr. Hibbert. "It's what we doctors call 'a convenient idea for a fanfic'."
"It's in bad taste, I can tell you that. The author will surely get bad reviews," Mutsumi said.
"I'm pretty sure the author has already got something pre-empted replies ready for such reviews."
"What's the treatment doctor?" Mutsumi asked.
Kitsune sadly said, "Unfortunately, there is no cure for something with your unique...name. I'd recommend that you could go down to the Japanese registry and change your name by a popularity poll. Maybe it could fool the disease and go away."
"I see. What should I change it to?"
"I have a few. Shinobu Maeha, Ema Maeda, Kanako Urashima, Keitaro Urashima, Hamtaro Urashima, Max Mizuhara, Sora Takenouchi, Hikaru Shindou, Anzu Mazaki, Yugi Moto," Kitsune suggested. "The list is endless. Indulge yourself, Miss Otohime..."
"Mutsumi."
"Mutsumi. You've earned it after suffering such a curious illness."
"How about Kit Fox?" Mutsumi said, "That's a good name. I can see myself in the Anime Hall of Fame. The name Mutsumi Otohime crossed out and replaced by Kit Fox." Mutsumi decided to try out the new name. "Hi, my name is Kit Fox. I'd like to buy that turtle. Hi, I'm Kit Fox, will you marry me?" Mutsumi got a feel for the new name. "What do you think, doctor? Kit Fox?"
Kitsune shakes her head. "You can't use Kit Fox."
"Why? Too stupid?"
"That's the name I'm going to use in the event I need to leave Japan and run away to the USA. And besides, didn't you notice my name on my nameplate?" Kitsune said, pointing at the nameplate reading, 'Konno Mitsune (aka. Kitsune or Kit Fox)'.
"I thought we were short on paragraphs?"
Kitsune sighed, and then scribbles a name on a piece of paper. "Here's a prescription for your new name. Try it out for a few weeks and see if you like it."
Mutsumi takes the paper and reads it.
"Aerith Gainsborough. I like it."
In a coincidence that could only happen in an Anime, three minutes later, Aerith collapsed on the street and got ran over by a car. All Kitsune could do is hold Aerith's hand and wait for the inevitable. That 'know-it-all' Coroner Motoko told Kitsune that the least she could do is back Kitsune's car off Aerith. But with Kitsune being drunk, on the scene and singing it's a whole different story.
(Note: Under no circumstances that we intend to purposely give bad reviews to this bad fanfic. The intention of this fanfic is to make you laugh and entertain in ways that has never been done before...badly.)