Disclaimer: For YEARS now, I haven't owned shit. And guess what? I STILL don't.

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A/N-Aaaaahhhhhh…it feels good to be BACK! Hell, even if it IS on a part-time basis. Now, before anyone reminds me—I know that the LAST adventure was supposed to be the lastONE, but, just like on my profile, I said that I was done writing— well, I lied about THIS, too. I hope you don't mind. It's been 2 years since I last posted anything here, and I honestly haven't watched a RAW or SmackDown taping in at least 4 years, but thanks to Yahoo, I was able to do a quick "catch up" on current WWE events and stars. So, that being said, I'd like to continue the lineage that is the "Adventure" series. Only THIS time, it'll be all divas! Why? Glad you asked—it's because it's the first "adventure" USING all divas and, second, it's because 'da' DIVAS are kinda' cool, and lately I've been watching that show "Total Divas" and I don't think it's half-bad, actually. Just so you know, this story will only be LOOSELY based on the TV show. My plot WON'T coincide with theirs-well, MAYBE once or twice. And, I won't have ALL the same characters, either. So, for those who have read and were fans of the other 4 adventures, you guys already know how this works. So, here we go!

In Hershey, PA, at the Giant Center, Vince is in his office sweating profusely. Once again, he overdosed on Cialis and now has a RAGING hard-on that's making his pants tight and uncomfortable; And it's also making him irritable—even more so than usual. He races over to his desk and buzzes his secretary, "Miss secretary, could you call in some of my DIVAS?"

The secretary replies, "Uh, is this for your traditional beer and porn run, sir?"

Vince answers, "Uh, yes it is."

The secretary asks, "Well, wouldn't you rather I call some superstars? I mean, Kane and Rey Mysterio are right around the corner doing tequila shots.

Vince forcefully says, "No! If I WANTED those knuckle-heads, I would've ASKED for them! Now CALL some of my divas!"

"Uh, ye-YES, Mr. McMahon! Right away!"

As the Secretary is calling the divas, HHH enters Vince's office.

HHH asks, "Hey pops, how's everything?"

Vince glares at HHH, hurriedly sitting down behind his desk and fearing that HHH will spot his "condition", answers, "DAMMIT Hunter! Don't you know how to KNOCK?"

HHH shrugs his shoulders innocently and says, "Geez, take it easy, man! I was just checking on ya'.

Vince sighs and says, "I'm sorry, Hunter. What do you want? I'm very busy right now.

HHH carefully asks, "Well, I was thinking, ummm…MAYBE—just MAYBE—I can have your permission to buy some…uh, beer and porn?"

Vince glares up at Hunter and answers, "Are you KIDDING me? You're married to my little PRINCESS! How DARE you EVER want to get that crap! It-it warps and poisons your MIND. You start to lose sight of what's REAL and what's sexually FAKE-get outta' here with that crap!"

HHH, with a bewildered expression on his face, asks, "But haven't you been doing that for YEARS, now?" I mean—years ago, you said you have 'grapefruits', well, why can't I have…'GAMEfruits'?"

Vince now can't think of anything else to come back with, "We-well…umm, that's because, well-I-I…you know what? NEVERMIND! "

There's silence in the room, now. A few moments pass and Vince suddenly smiles wide and says, "You know what, Hunter? Maybe I CAN help you out, AFTER all."

"Sure, whaddya' need, pops?"

Vince, STILL not standing up, simply rubs his hands together and says, "Hmm…what's going on between you and Stephanie?"

HHH sighs and rolls his eyes, "UGH, pop. This woman does NOTHING but EAT! We don't even have SEX anymore! At FIRST, things started out innocently enough. I mean, in the beginning, I used to let her take her potato chips and BBQ spare ribs to bed with her, but THEN, one thing led to another and instead of licking the BBQ sauce off of ME, she just started disregarding ME altogether and there'd be a fuckin' MOUNTAIN of food in our bed when I'd go to get ready for bed!"

Vince chuckles to himself a little.

Hunter asks, "What's so damn FUNNY?"

Vince shakes his head and answers, "You're just learning, son. But that's one of the TRADEMARKS of McMahon women! It's either peeing in the bed or EATING in the bed!—Hell, either way, you're fucked!"

Vince continued, "MY wife's issue is PEEING the bed. I'm thinking this may be a family issue, in fact. You see, Linda's MOTHER used to pee AND eat in the bed. Yeah, they start out just fine, no eating, only peeing in RESTROOMS, but after…Oh, I'd say about 5 years of marriage, they start to 'fall apart', so to say—sort of like and old Ford. Matter of fact, In MY case, it started out a lot sooner-Back when I was in college, I'd go over her house and her family would usually be in the middle of a rousing game of "guess that smell'—I don't even want to MENTION what her daddy used to have a habit of doing, but HE'D always be trying to get me to pull his finger!"

HHH smirks as Vince continues, "Let's just say that that family reunion back in 1994 when I had to share a room with his ass—let's just say that when I SHOULD'VE been waking up to the smell of FRIED eggs, I woke up to the smell of BOILED eggs—let's just leave it at THAT!"

HHH nods in amazement. Vince says, "Yeah, so kid—YOU'RE stuck with her, now! She's no longer eating US out of house and home! Best of luck with those food bills, HAHAHAAAA!"

HHH blinked twice, just thinking about what he wound up getting himself into—even after all these years of marriage. Hunter finally says, "Uh…you wanted me for something?

Vince smirks and says, "Since I'm passing the reigns to you eventually, I want YOU to tell the Divas to get me my beer and porn."

HHH, confused, asks, "But didn't you just say that it was wrong—"

Vince snaps and pounds his desk as HHH jumps a little, "NEVERMIND what I just said, just DO IT! I want to get my beer and porn through YOU—vicariously. Now, they should be on their way, so go meet them in the lobby!

HHH looks at Vince and sighs, shaking his head as he leaves Vince's office.

About 20 minutes later, HHH is sitting in his office checking his cellphone, "Damn, where are these bitches AT?"

Just then, the divas start pouring into HHH's office—one after the other.

After a few minutes, they all arrive. HHH stands up and says, "Okay ladies, you've been called here because Vince wants all of you to get him some porn and beer. I hope you all are up for this. "

In the room are the Bellas, Natalia, the Funkadactyls, Tamina, AJ, Aksana and JoJo.

The ladies all smile because they've all heard of the legendary beer and porn run and they know that, historically, the winners tend to carry great favor with Vince. So, they all nod and agree to be up for it.

Natalia asks, "Hey Hunter, does the winner head Raw or SmackDown like always?"

HHH raises an eyebrow and answers, "Well, not THIS time, I'm afraid."

JoJo rolls her eyes and asks, "Well he needs to get that shit himself, I have a taping tonight."

HHH shakes his head and says, "No, no, sweetheart—Vince is reinstating a title for the winners of this contest.

AJ asks, "What? The HARDCORE title?

Tamina says, "No, I'll bet it's the European title!"

Natalia disagrees, "No, I'll bet it's the women's title, right Hunter?"

HHH smirks and nods, "Well, Natalya, you're very warm on that one. But it's not the women's title. No, ladies, this is one of the lesser-known LEGENDARY titles that was retired back in 1988, in fact."

The ladies let out a collective gasp as HHH continues, "Ladies, the winners of this contest will be the new…"

HHH gets up and pulls a black and purple velour covering from over an ivory stand, revealing the prize.

He smiles and says, "Yep, for the first time in 26 years, two lucky ladies will become the WWE Women's tag-team title holders!—the belts will be defended on both RAW and Smackdown!"

The ladies all smile and "ooooh" and "ahhhh" at the potential honor of becoming the first to usher in a new generation of women's tag-team wrestling.

HHH smile and says, "Well ladies, he wants a case of Heineken and a magazine called 'Anal Asians—'dey ruv u rong time'. And he wants this stuff from a particular…uhh…shop in Philadelphia, called 'Tom's takin' it up the ass' Tabernacle' and he wants this shit by tonight, too. "

Hunter checks his cellphone and mentions, " Okaaaay, right now, it's…uhhh…7 am, better get started!"

After that, the ladies all scurry out to the parking lot to get to their vehicles.

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A/N-Ok, this is the end of chapter 1. I just hope I'm not too rusty with this.

So, who will pair off with who? Will Vince get his stuff before his lack of flaccidity dominates his trousers to the point that they rip? Will Steph finish her ham, seductively sucking the meat off the bone, while her stomach hangs out of the bottom of her tattered and stained '"Austin 3:16" t-shirt and HHH watches while touching himself inappropriately?, will Linda pee in the bed instead of the toilet again?, or will Mister McMahon have to once AGAIN suffer the agony of rolling around in a puddle of cold piss on his bed?, therefore causing him to have his mattress replaced for the 9th TIME this month?

These and all other questions will be answered next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!