Disclaimer: I don't own the Legend of Zelda. If I did… xD
"The Science of Payback" is rated "K+".

The Science of Payback
A Legend of Zelda Fanfiction

"OUCH!"

Link winced as Tatl applied white gauze bandages on his searing back. He grit his teeth, trying not to bite his tongue too hard. The fairy sighed, struggling with the size of the gauze, grumbling about certain useless heroes who couldn't even properly filet a fish.

"How useless can you be? You have the power of the Zoras on your side! That fish was the one who ate you for dinner!"

"Shut up and bandage faster," Link grimaced, closing his eyes and trying to block out all sensations of pain. He couldn't even move his little finger. Only the Goddesses knew how he got away.

Tatl paused for a moment, then dove straight for the bottle of alcohol that the storekeeper gave him to disinfect his deep wounds. His back was a mangled mess, his wounds shaped like giant fish fangs. She held the bottle up with un-fairy-like strength, dumping the entirety of the bottle onto Link's tender back.

The young hero couldn't suppress his screams, wincing as the echo came bouncing back at him. The last thing he wanted to sound was weak. He didn't want the entirety of Termina to see what a useless little wimp he was.

Losing sucks.

He'd done it before. He could remember a time he crawled on the ground after getting his ass royally whooped by Volvagia. His limbs were numb, his skin ablaze, and his vision crimson with haze and confusion. Sheik took him in, tenderly nursing him back to health. Link could never shake that feeling of helplessness. It wasn't Sheik's responsibility to babysit him. Heroes don't get beat. He vowed never to fail again.

Apparently, vows were just like New Year's resolutions. Good intentions but always destined to fail.

"There. I sped up disinfecting your wounds," Tatl said. Link could swear that mischievous fairy was enjoying herself.

Link didn't answer. He closed his eyes, the intensity of the sun's rays not helping his weak state. He could hear the light crash of the waves in the background. Normally, he loved staying on the beach. It was so peaceful. He would take in all of what nature had to offer. The shining sun, the soft dusting of sand tickling his toes, the crashing of water against the earth, the soft breeze ruffling his hair…

Right now, all he wanted was a cave. A nice, dark cave where no one could find him and he could wallow away in his misery.

"Link?" Tatl questioned, poking the boy. She flew in his cap, something that usually bothered the crap out of him, trying to get him to say something.

What was he supposed to say? 'Oh, hey, Tatl, the moon's gonna fall and Lulu's never going to get her voice back because I can't beat a stupid fish?'

"Are you dead?" The fairy screamed into his ear.

Link intended to shout curse words at the little sprite, but when he opened his mouth the only thing that came out was a sob. Link winced at the sound of defeat, stifling his sobs. His body shook. With every vibration, his wounds only burned more.

"You know, sometimes I forget you're just a stupid, snot-nosed brat," Tatl said. "You're just a kid."

But she was wrong. Link wasn't an ordinary boy. Sure, he may technically only be ten years old, but he was sixteen once. He'd experienced more tragedies and hardships than he could count. He always took them in stride. He never cried or even complained about anything. He was a hero. It was his job to sacrifice himself to save others. He did it because he cared.

Tatl finished applying his bandages as gently as she could, resting on his head. Link could feel the fairy attempt to comfort him.

Link would wait out the remained of his two days, allow his body to heal, and then go back in time. Then he'd face Gyorg. The battle would be tough, but Link would barely pull through. He never failed twice. Then he'd have to repeat the healing process. Although he would technically be on the winning side, he knew that beating Gyorg would never be a proper victory.

It was a useless feeling.

Link sighed, reflecting on his journey in Termina as Clock Town faded on the horizon. He'd met a lot of new friends, friends he'd likely never see again, but he gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done.

After the battle, Link returned all the masks to their rightful owners. He didn't feel right keeping them, especially not his transformation masks. He'd travel to the next town and repeat the hero process all over again. He didn't mind. For some reason, he was getting used to living the same days over and over again.

It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.

Link was proud of most of his accomplishments. For the most part, he was pretty successful. He didn't fail nearly as many times as he did in Hyrule.

If only he could score a decisive victory against Gyorg…how wrong he was. He thought after the first failure he'd be able to beat him on the second try. Nope. Nice try. Link finally beat the fish after a whopping thirty-three times. He barely survived his winning encounter. As a matter of fact, he was so beat he couldn't enjoy his victory.

That damn fish.

"Link!"

Tatl? What was she doing here? Link motioned for Epona to halt, turning to greet the feisty little fairy.

"What's up?" He asked.

"I wanted to thank you," she said almost bashfully. Link smiled. In the beginning, she was incredibly annoying and derogatory. Who knew they'd end up friends?

"Tatl, you've thanked be about a bajillion times already," Link said. "It's no problem. I'm glad you were reunited with your brother and you and the Skull Kid can still be friends."

"Yeah, but…if you think about it, where's the happy ending for you? No one really knows what you did. You're never going to see most of us again. In the end, you'll just end up alone, wandering from town to town as the forgotten hero."

Link nodded, not saying anything. That was his fate, a fate he truly accepted. Maybe one day he'd return to his home of Hyrule, maybe not. A couple things were certain: he'd never stop looking for Navi. He'd find her one of these days.

"Sorry, that was a tad insensitive," the fairy cleared her throat. "Anyways, knowing that, I decided to bring you, a little, uh…present."

Link raised his eyebrow.

This was sure to be interesting.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT!"

"What the heck was I thinking?" Tatl muttered to herself. Link danced around the battlefield, waving his arms and jumping up and down liked a giddy schoolchild. Tatl placed his Ocarina down so he could play the Song of Time and they could repeat the little process.

Link continued to fire away at Gyorg's already scorched remains. There was nothing left of the fish, yet Link just had to destroy it until the only thing remaining was a faint stench of burned filet mignon.

How many times was this now? Thirty three? Tatl knew Link wanted to beat the crap out of Gyorg, but seriously, they were getting on the borderline of overkill. That was saying something. The first ten times were a lot of fun, but then it just got to be…much.

"You know you're going to have to save the world again after all of this," Tatl said, although it fell upon deaf ears. Link wasn't paying attention. He was having too much fun filleting the nasty fish. Tatl sighed. Why did he have to destroy it? She happened to like her fish extra crispy. Not that Gyorg probably tasted soon, but all of this Gyorg destruction was making her hungry.

"Did you see that, Tatl?" Link screamed excitedly, squealing like a fangirl and clapping at his own prowess. "He didn't even lay a scale on me!" He turned to the fish, standing over it and pointing. "That's right! You suck!"

"Yeah yeah, that's nice, I've only seen you beat him thirty-three times," Tatl said. "Now, can we work your little time travel magic and return on our merry way? I'm pretty certain you've extracted your revenge by now…"

"No!" Link gasped, almost dropping his sword in shock. "I can't quit now! He beat me thirty-three times! I have to at least get to thirty-four!"

"C'mon, Link…"

Too late. Link was already playing the Song of Time. Here they go again.

Tatl sighed.

She never should have given him the Fierce Deity Mask.

I. Hated. Gyorg. That fish was annoying. Granted, it didn't take me thirty-three times, but still. *Shudders*. Hope you all enjoyed this quick little one-shot! It was inspired by trolling the bosses. Revenge never felt so sweet. What boss did you want revenge on?

Please leave a review! It would make my day. :) Thank you for reading!