Iridescent

Verse: Nikita

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Birkhoff/Alex

Song: Iridescent by Linkin park

Summary: There amongst the ruins she was beautiful and there amongst the real world she was breathtaking. To him she was iridescent.

Back when Alex Udinov was a rookie, she had been dulled by Division. She was just another trainee, a drone belonging to those who held the strings.

He hadn't thought about her; sure there was something about her eyes that made him glance back to her but other than that she wasn't even worth his attention because she was meaningless among a group of meaningless people.

But then she changed; like the colours on a bubble, catching the light as she grew in to an agent. She radiated a little more under the dull lights of Division but she was still out of reach, just like a bubble caught in a breeze.

He watched from the shadows wishing he could just run a finger across that surface, forever changing but he knew his place.

Knew that she would never think of him like that.

She changed again; to any one else she should have dimmed again when her role as Nikita's mole came out but to him she glowed even more. Her colours changing, a new rainbow every time he saw her. He couldn't stop himself from contacting her, watching that colour change again when she smiled, when she glared or when she confronted her fears.

Michael and Nikita would point out the reality behind it all. She would never see him, despite how clearly he saw her. She would shoot him down and it wasn't fair considering how close they were to bringing down Division.

And he hated them for it and felt thankful for it too. He wasn't suited for the couple thing because even he knew that Alex Udinov needed stable after all she had been through and he was too damaged.

So he ignored her again; choose not to see the light and changing colours because it was easier that way, easier to pretend his heart didn't skip a beat when she was close. Easier to pretend that he was a lone wolf and not interested in her help no matter how much he needed it.

People like her and Nikita and Michael deserved to be with someone; he didn't.

And then it all happened; she exploded in colour as she stood among the ruins of Division. Like some warrior princess she emerged with cuts and bruises like they all had but she was safe and he felt the breath leaving him with a whoosh.

And he tried his hardest to stop from being blinded by her changing colours; shining so bright that he honestly thought he would be blinded for a second.

Still like that bubble growing bigger and brighter and with her rainbow of colours changing in the light.

They were free but he was stuck. Stuck in a world where the light caught her and changed her colours and all he could do was stare at her and pretend he could live with his life in her shadow.

"Birkhoff" her voice was like a feather against crystal. For the first time in years they could start building a life and they had started with memories. Michael had left Birkhoff with his camera asking him to retrieve a photo he had thought lost when the camera was damaged. Among the many photos he had found a picture of him and Alex.

Shutting the program down, he turned in his lazy manner to watch Alex standing there before him. An eyebrow arched and smirk playing across her lips.

Her colour changing in the light.

"I've been calling you for the past five minutes" at least she was amused, he could do something in her world.

"What you working on" with lightening speed she was by his side, filling his senses with her. All of her.

"Nothing" the snap wasn't mean to hurt but he couldn't pretend and be nice to her; for her part Alex just ignored him like she had chosen too since she met him.

"Right" she drew the word out and tilted her head at him. She didn't retreat, didn't give him a moment peace.

"Why didn't you grab something to eat with Nikita and Michael" before she finished he just raised an eyebrow. She had the answer.

Laughing she folded her arms and looked around for something to stare at. Birkhoff seemed her choice after several seconds.

"You were meant to be my back up" she groused causing Birkhoff to shake his head, watching her colours change again.

"I thought you had a date!" he didn't mean his words to hold so much distaste and he refused to admit that he turned away from because he was pining. Alex for her part was confused, her brow furrowing at him.

"With who?" she demanded as Birkhoff opened a new program, eager to distract himself with anything that wasn't the ever changing and glowing woman by his side. It didn't help but he was good at pretending.

"Sean" he declared, missing the smirk crossing Alex's face. Watching the genius Alex couldn't help but soften her gaze on him.

"We are just friends, well kind of." she offered causing him to hide his smile.

"Though it wouldn't be that much of a problem if I did date him, would it?" clenching his jaw he shrugged and glared at his screen.

Someone else deserved to watch her glow and change colour.

"Why would it? It's not like you have to report to me" the words had broken forth and he couldn't stop them as he spun to glare up at her, catching her off guard.

"I mean we're just friends right? It wouldn't bother me at all because I'm not jealous" for all his smarts he knew he was an idiot really but he had topped being snarky and unapproachable years ago. Alex just smiled at him and nodded. Amusement dancing in her eyes.

"I meant because he's ex-Division" she offered watching as redness crept across his face and he spun away from her, grunting for her to end the conversation and leave him be.

For several seconds the silence descended and he refused to give him, ignored the ticking that seemed louder than normal.

But something had to break. If she was like the bubble that changed it's rainbow of colours in the light, he was the bubble that broke soon from release.

"But you do know he isn't worth it" at least she jumped back when he jerked to his feet, his eyes darting around, searching for the words.

"Isn't worth you! I mean do you get how... how" dragging his hands at his hair, he missed how Alex jumped back when his hands shot out and waved around.

"How you light up and how your colours change. He won't see that! Won't appreciate every thing you've been through to become who you are now and yet you will just give it all to him and won't even ask for him to see" the rant made him feel better until he understood just what he said.

He had broken and no physical damage was needed. Just her standing their glowing brightly, with her ever changing colours in the light.

With a grunt he spun and raced away, towards the kitchen, away to anywhere that wasn't near her.

"Just go; forget I said any of that" he ordered, not looking at her and being caught again.

"Haven't had enough red bull" he attempted a joke. When silence responded, he closed his eyes and hoped she would be embarrassed and forgot he even said anything. She knew he was just the resident genius, someone to be over looked.

then he heard footsteps and they weren't retreating. They were walking towards him and he was trapped with something he wanted to forget.

"You can look at me" she ordered from behind him and he refused. He felt her waiting for his move and he wouldn't give in.

he felt a ghost of a hand but she didn't touch him, didn't go that far.

He sighed when he heard her turn and walk away but before he could relax she returned, stalking into his personal space and she spun him around. Before he could rant, she captured his face between her hands and then his lips with her own.

It was only meant to be a pressing of lips, just pressure but it meant more to them both and when she released him, her eyes were glistening with something he hadn't seen before.

"I see you; I've always seen you Seymour" he buzzed at the sound of his name on her lips.

"You could never see how much you glow because your so busy watching over people" she whispered causing him to swallow hard, his eyes darting to her lips then back to her eyes.

"But I saw, I've seen how much you've grown. And I'm waiting for the day that I'm worthy of you" the words made his heart swell and the lingering kiss she left him with made his head spin. Watching her walk out he didn't know what do to first.

With a smile he replayed the kiss in his mind again.

One bubble gliding in the sunlight always caught the light and changed colours. He thought that was Alex, the bubble he could never touch.

turns out he was that bubble and Alex was the one that attached to the other. Growing bigger with even bolder colours.

And just like those two bubbles he never planned on letting Alex go.

The End.