Harleen:
I remember clearly, in that room, is where I met "him" in person for the first time.
Fresh out of Gotham University, I was naïve and really excited to start my internship at the infamous Arkham Asylum. I remember walking down a long, dim lit, white hallway with two guards on either side escorting me to my first session with "him"
It took me months to get a session with "him" but I finally did it. The other doctors looked down on me so young, so fresh, so naïve, they thought I wasn't fit to treat "him" but I will prove them wrong.
We walked up to a senior doctor here at Arkham doctor Serano , who was standing outside the therapy room, waiting for me.
"Doctor Quinzel ?" Her voice was stern but had a hint of concern.
"I'm ready Dr. Serrano" I answered back
"You're qualified Harleen but I don't think anyone is ready for Him" she placed her hand on my shoulder her eyes filled with pity "He is something that I can't even categorize"
"But he's not beyond help. I can fix him" I know I can I tell myself this but can I?
I looked through the window. He was just sitting there his hands were cuffed to each other as well as his legs, just sitting there looking down with no smile.
The guards opened the door for me as doctor Serano walked away.
"We'll be right outside if you need anything" said one of the guards who's name failed me. I game him a small smile.
"Don't forget your panic button just in case" he gave me a small remote with a red button before leaving the room shutting the door behind him.
As I walked in that small, cold, white room I did nothing but stare at him.
I was alone with The Joker.
He was looking down at his hands that were folded together in front of him on the table. He wasn't looking at me not until after I spoke.
"My name is doctor Harleen Quinzel"
He finally looked up. No smile.
Ours eye met for a moment then I gazed at his appearance.
I've seen him over a million times on the news and in th papers but meeting him in person was overwhelming. His skin was whiter than I could have imagined. His lips a deep blood red were not smiling which I found quite unusual. His eyes were an odd shade of green and his hair...nothing Ive seen before, its color was very hypnotizing. This person in front of me is The Joker.
I looked down at my papers realizing I had been staring for a while now.
I put on my strongest face and spoke calmly.
"I read your file. The beatings by your father, the abandonment by your mother, your failed criminal career and then your little 'accident'" I pause a look him in the eyes "All the building blocks to your psychosis and murdering mind. But we both know this is a load of bull" I glared at him the best I can under my glasses.
He doesn't talk at first but just stares at me and I stare back.
I will not back down, I'm not afraid of you
He laughs, finally smiling.
"Oh do tell" His hand in his hair (The best he can do with his hands cuffed together)
Joker:
I was waiting. I heard my new doctor was right out of college and a real looker. I wonder how long it will take to ruin her. They lead me to one of the therapy rooms. It seemed more like a interrogation room. It was small and very white and the chairs and table bolted down. Wise idea They cuffed my hands very close to each other and my legs but they didn't cuffed them to anything so I was still able to move around fairly well. I sat. And I waited. It seemed like an eternity before I finally heard her voice. It sounded disgusting. Her voice seemed to be forced like she was trying to be someone she wasn't. One of the guards walked her in eying her like she was a piece of meat. She smiled at them as they exited. That smile... She sat across from me with her notepad,pencil and with my file in hand. I didn't look up to see her until she spoke her name.
"My name is Doctor Harleen Quinzel" I looked up with intersest. Harleen Quinzel, such a unique name. It fits her well. Maybe I wont ruin her maybe I'll play with her a bit.
"Oh Do tell" I gave her my best wicked smile to her theory about me, no doubt she's done a lot of research on me.
His sudden smile startled me but I became less nervous.
Harleen:
"Its about control" I tell him with highest confidence
"control?"
"Yes" I give him a faint smile
"Then you haven't been following my career pumpkin"
"Oh but I have. You're quite the performer. You create mayhem so you can be the eye of the storm" His eyes stare through me I can't help but to stare back.
"Because in the storm everything gets turned upside down but you"
He stands up. Nothing more than just standing smiling at me.
"Hiding behind your madness is control. The way I see it, your a control freak with a sense of humor"
Behind the window I hear a noise. "Officer That wont be necessary" I looked behind me seeing the officer hand at his gun.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" my head swings back to Joker laughing.
"oh I like this one. Different than the usual privileged blue-blooded bunches they send down here. You got spunk, kiddo. But you had to know where you came from. Your accent screams New York but not the Rockefeller variety" My heart starts to pound hard. I hope he doesn't notice.
"Let me guess...local girl done good. National honor society, scholarships etcetera etcetera. But somethings missing that drives you, something you want but can't have"
His voice is getting to me. I have to leave before I lose myself in him.
I stand my body turns but I keep my eyes on him.
"Physic 101, we all have something we want but can't have. So tomorrow lets start what that is for you"
I turn my head away from him
" And one more thing, if your thinking of stabbing me with whatever in your pocket you better hope you don't miss because if you do I will kick your nuts up through your mouth and show you how we do it in Canarsie"
I exit the room with a big smile on my face looking forward to our next meeting.
Joker:
Not exactly fireworks but there was a spark.
After the session I'm taken back to me cell. As I sit there I ponder on my first meeting with My Harley oh how fun was she. I can't wait for our next meeting.
Harleen:
"Would you care to explain how this got in my office" I'm sitting again in the white room with Joker across holding a rose in my hand with a note attached 'For you – J'
"Easy, I put them there" His hands were behind his neck with that sweet smile of his.
"I think the guards would like to know you've been out of your cell"
"If you were going to you already would have"
"How do you know I haven't already?" My smile gave it away. He knew I haven't and I wont.
I put the rose down and pick up my clipboard.
"I see the guards are not around" His face looks wicked. I like it.
"I told them I will be fine after all this is our fifth session and you have been on your best behavior"
I walk towards him and sit on the table beside him.
" So tell me how exactly did you break into my office without anyone noticing?"
Hes looking down with no smile. Just like he had been the first time meeting him. I hear him mumble something so I lean in closer to hear. He got me.
His hands, though still cuffed, still find a way around my throat and pushes me down on the table my head hitting hard on the cold metal table. His grip is strong, I try to pry his hands but he is far to strong.
But I don't panic. This feeling is nothing I've felt before. My mind goes blank at first, but then my mind is filled with nothing but him. My chest grows hot. I can feel my face turn red. Is it because the lack of air, of because of my feelings right now? I put my hand on his cheek. I look at him. We lock eyes for a long moment, his eyes widen, then I see his eyes gloss over. Don't cry I'm here for you...
He releases me and turns away. I held my urge to run to him with open arms and give him a big hug. I wanted him to cling to me like a small child. I wanted him to cry into my chest and I wanted to be there to tell him everything was going to be okay.
"It was just a joke"
I start laughing.
"Hahahahahaha" I'm not sure what had happen but I couldn't help myself but to laugh. My eyes water as I'm laughing. I see him looking at me with amusement.
My laughter dies out as I try to regain my composure.
"I think thats all for today Joker" my head was spinning. I try to get my balance back us as I walked towards the exit.
"Don't forget this" Joker words came to me as a low whisper, he hands me the rose. It seems more beautiful somehow.
Joker:
My hands flung for her neck. I wanted her dead. I've been thinking about her a lot recently. And it irritated me. Hopefully if I killed her My thoughts of her will die along with her.
I hate her. I had to, what other reason is there for me to think about her other than to kill her. That rose I gave her it had been an impulse something I didn't understand. And I hated not understanding. I knew If I gave her any kind of gift it would make her happy. Why should she be happy? My anger rises as I fight with myself in my mind. I look down at her. I stare at her.
Her face shows no fear at all. Shes just staring with a strange gaze. Her eyes seem to smile. Her eyes! I've never noticed it before from afar, but her eyes were a remarkable stunning blue. He gaze captivated me throughly. A strange feeling overwhelms me in my chest to my face. I feel like crying. Her gaze looked so loving. I wanted to hold her, have her in my arms, I wanted to cry in her lap, I wanted her to hear me, I wanted to see her smile. I release her and slowly turn away.
"It was just a joke" I tell her but I can't help but let a tear slide down. I hate her.
"Hahahahahahaha" My head turns fast to her. Shes laughing?! Its the first time I heard her laugh. It was beautiful. She cried a little as she tried to calm down. I can't help but smile at her.
As she leave. I hand her the rose. She smiles. My dear Harley...
Harleen:
After that incident my head was spinning around him. He was like a drug, I had to have more of him.
It was our tenth session. He started with a joke.
"Where do you get virgin wool from?"
"Where?"
"Ugly sheep HAAAAAHAAA!"
"Ha." I tried my best to keep my laughter from bursting out like last time, it was hard to do.
"Oh come one doc. That one always kills"
"Humor is just your way of getting attention. Or a way to say the truth without having to say it"
Hes standing down grinning down at me. My heart starts to beat rapidly.
"or power" he chuckles at me. Suddenly my clothes feel too tight.
"I'm listening"
He continues.
"Make them laugh, you have a piece of them"
"And thats how you got your fathers attention"
"I thought you were listening"
"Of course, I'm sorry"
" If you have a piece of them you have power over them -starts walking towards Quinn- Then you can bend them to your will. You make some bozo laugh just as easy as you can make him cry. But you get the same results. Their attention suddenly, you matter. You're not just another little itsy ant that that they can step on" he pauses "Like your poor father" Hes already standing in front of me.
"Quite amazing what you can find if you know what you're looking for. They really should pay the orderlies more. But I digress. We were talking about good old daddy..."He walks past me my back to him looking down.
"killed by a drunk driving fat cat in his tailored suit and diamond pinkie ring, who had high-powered connections and got off. Got to live on while your poor papa was gone. And you were powerless to do anything about it." He puts a crumple up napkin in my hands. I feel something hard wrapped up, in it, But I'm too scared to look.
"I used to be the same way. Powerless against those who wanted to keep me down. Until the greatest thing that could ever happen to me did. An impromptu incident of mythic proportions. When my eyes stopped stinging I finally saw the world for the true hypocrisy it is. Which set me free." I could feel his breath on my neck. It sends chills down my spine.
"Because once I didn't care about the rules anymore I had all this power" His face next to mine. Now hes whispering in my ear. "we all have it inside us. We just got to let it out"
He gestures to the napkin. I open it. My hands fling to my mouth as I gasp and cry.
I'm not sad. I'm relieved.
" and I can show you how...oh, and sorry its only the fat cats finger but its a real bitch trying to mule a dead body into here god knows I tried" He puts a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.
Joker:
She loved my sweet gesture towards her. Finding the guy was hard part. Sneaking out of my cell killing him and cutting off his finger to bring back to Arkham with me was the easy part. Bribing guards, sneaking around in the dark Like the Batman I thought reaching outside the walls of Arkham unnoticed. I had reached a meeting place with the man. He thought we were doing business. Funny business. Killing him, knowing what he had done to poor Harleens papa, was exhilarating. I savored every slice I made in him knowing My Harley would enjoy my little gift. I cut off his pinky ring with his diamond ring still attached and wrapped it. I though for a second about bringing the whole body but dispelled it. I would be sent to solitary confinement and I wouldn't be able to see Harley. I sneaked back in with the finger in hand. Haha I laughed silently as the bribed guard slid me back into my cell. It was daybreak already only a few more hours until our session. I hope this finger doesn't go bad before I give it to her
Time flies by fast while my mind wonders. I always wondered who was in the kitchen with dina? I wonder if it would be possible to make a giant sling-shot and fling people to the sun?
My thoughts were interrupted by a heavy knock. How courteous.
The guards jerk me to the white room once again. But I'm getting excited.
I sit. She walks in looking her best. We smile. I share a joke. She holds in her laughter.
Then I start talking about her poor father. He face looks sad. Hopefully my gift will cheer you up.
I set the wrapped finder in front of her. She hesitates at first but grabs it, too scared to look. I walk around her. And I whisper. At this she opens my gift. He hands go to her mouth as it she were to scream instead her mouth hung open slightly. She starts to cry.
"and I can show you how...oh, and sorry its only the fat cats finger but its a real bitch trying to mule a dead body into here god knows I tried" My hands instinctively goes to her shoulder almost apologetic. Her shoulders quiver. Shes holding back another laugh,
"Go ahead, laugh, no ones here beside me. You can trust me" I turn my face towards her. She hunches over and starts laughing.
"Hahahahahahahahaha" It felt like she was laughing for an eternity. But I savored every second of it. It was music to my ears.
Harleen:
"Are you insane!" I had told doctor Serano about the session with Joker thinking she would help me cope with my feelings instead she gave me a lecture.
"Doctor Quinzel, Harleen you work in Arkham Asylum, home to the most dangerous criminal minds on earth and you tell me you have a crush on the Joker?!" She slammed her hand on the desk really hards it scattered some paper and knocked over some things.
"Its not like that Dr. Serano, theres more to him than...than" She starts picking up my notes, I know shoes going to take them.
"Those ...my notes, those are my notes on the Joker" My voice quavers but something inside of me rises.
"You're writing a book using..,my not-"
"Any research conducted by a member of my team is considered-" Shes been using my notes for a books shes been writing about the Joker but she will not have them this time. I snapped. I hit her as hard as I could on the side of her face. She flew into a picture frame on the wall shattering it. I break off a piece.
" You...you work me night and day, you mock my methods then steal my research!?" Shes on the floor on her back inching away from me.
"You need help doctor. And I've got all the therapy you need right here"
"No...d-don't...I'm sorry doctor..."
A guard rushes in.
"Doctor Quinzel, Doctor Serano is everything okay I heard a noise?" He runs past me oblivious to my actions. He tries to help Serano up.
"Are one of the loonies loose?"
I strike him with the broken glass.
Joker:
Something good it going to happen today
I wait for her in this room for the last time. I know I can feel it. Something was growing in her and Its coming for me. Can't wait I chuckled. While I wait I may as well entertain myself. So killing a guard and using his blood as paint for me to draw on the window was a fine idea. But I was soon interrupted by something interesting.
I felt her presence in the room.
"This better be good. This is my 'me' time" My back is to her but I can tell she's smiling really big.
"...Something happen" I face her with a merry look.
"Of course it did. I told you you're special" I lend out my arm and she takes it happily.
"care for a walk?"
"yes very much!" we walk out of that room forever, we walk out of Arkham for now and she walks out as Harleen for the last time ever.
"Thatta girl, say how about I hold on to the gun for a while?"
Gone Fishin'
Harleen:
We walk. I'm not sure for how long or how far we've walked but I don't care. I want to be near him. We arrive at a chemical plant but I don't ask any questions. He leads me inside, we climb latter's until we reach a catwalk above batches of boiling chemical.
"Where are we?"
"'Where' isn't as important as when!"
"Its your birthday" His face starts to look eager and it was scaring me.
"My birthday isn't until-" His hand went up, silencing me.
"Not Harleen Quinzel's birthday, Your new birthday"
"I don't understand. We hurt people at Arkham..maybe we should" I start sweating, I'm not sure if it was because of the boiling chemical or the way hes talking.
"No – no, no second thought. This is a special place for me. Its where I was born. What happen here fixed me and it can for you too"
"I want to go home"
Suddenly he harshly griped my shoulders and laughed. I'll never for get that laugh, it was the most intoxicating laugh. My heart was pounding through my chest still I wans't sure if it was because of him or I was it because I was excited because I knew something life changing was about to happen.
He threw me over the ledge into the chemical tank.
Joker and Harley:
I knew exactly the place to go once we had left Arkham. It was a very special place for me indeed. We walked above the chemical tanks. I feel excited to share this moment with her. Hopefully she would survive. She starts to look rather scared as I explain things to her. Shes not scared shes just excited.
"I want to go home"
Doesn't she want to share with me this intimate moment? How rude of her to be so selfish!
I then gripped he shoulders and start laughing. Even I'm not sure why I laughed so hard, maybe because I couldn't wait any longer. So I threw her off the edge into my birthing tank.
"How about a quick dip first?!"
"Help me!"
"You're welcome!" I starts climbing down a latter to the chemical batches.
"I know it stings a little now, but...you paying attention?" How rude of her to not answer me! Is she that ungrateful?!
"Hellloo?" I chuckle and start turning the wheel to the tank to release her.
"Never let it be said that I'm a boring first date. But then again do I go on so few second dates." The chemical start spilling out. "Eh no matter, is anyone hom- ew, I am so firing the maid" I then see a small looking skull Is that her? "...or is that the maid?"
There she is!
She standing, her clothes look singed and I can't see bits of her skin poking through. Her hair a mess of blue and red, her skin almost as white as mine.
"Can we talk now or is it not a good time"
She looks up with a look of excitement and relief.
"Is this real?"
"Nope. And that's why you're allowed to do whatever you like, Harley" my first time calling her Harley, it felt right, I lend out a hand to her as I watcher her from above.
"Harley? I like that"
"Yeah I thought it had a certain Je ne sais quoi feel to it" He hand goes for mine.
"That is does. Now Come here Puddin'" She grabs my hand and pulls me down
We share our first kiss. She was very forceful but it was pure extacy. I absorbed every moment of that kiss so hopefully later I wont forget it later. This was Harley. She always been here and now finally we can play.
Harley Quinn:
I was reborn. I was grateful. My life changed forever. Everything I did up until then was meaningless. This is my new life, and I will spend it now trying to make people laugh and my dear Mr. J laugh.
But things change so fast. My poor puddin' was lost and I couldn't find him. So I killed hoping to find him soon. But I was captured, brought to Belle Revees. I wonder how my puddin is doing? I hope hes missing me and come for me soon... I wont cry, he wont like it if I cry. So I wait here in my cell waiting. Waiting for him.
"Hello Harleen" a shadow covers me and I look up, I recognize her as Amanda Waller.
"Call me Harley, everyone does"
I'll start my new life, Mr. J.