Look at me.
They had been doing this for months now. No one saw it coming. They weren't dating. And during the day they didn't even talk to one another. When the sun was up it was like what they did at night behind closed doors wasn't real. They never talked about it. It was like a dream; a very erotic dream. It wasn't every night, but it might as well be. It was always in his room, but not always in his bed. It was always late after the others were fast asleep. They didn't talk, before, during, or after. And she wouldn't stay the night either, even if he wanted her to. As soon as the deed was done she was gone without a trace. It bothered him. But he never said anything about it. He just tried to ignore it. Because she would be back. She always came back. She would kiss him deeply, desperately, and passionately. Depending on how the day went determined if it was slow and patient or fast and vulgar. He didn't mind either way. He was all for pleasing her. If she wanted it slow and soft he would take his time. If she wanted it hard and rough he made sure she got it. Because he got something out of it either way. But he learned never to initiate it. She should always lead. And a part of him liked it better that way. Neither one of them really knew how it started. Who could really remember? They have been doing it for so long. And he loved her. He knew he did. And he was pretty sure she knew too. But he wasn't sure if she loved him back. She wasn't either. He knew she was using him for her own sexual release. He didn't really mind that. But he did fear the end of it, because that's when they would have to talk about it. Or even worse, she might leave and never come back, and their midnight flings would turn into a distant dream. But this thing they had showed no sign of stopping, so he wasn't that worried about it. But out of all of this the one thing that bothered him was that she didn't look at him. She always had her eyes closed. And he feared she was picturing someone else. Now he closed his eyes too sometimes, but he always pictured her. But most of the time he had them open, because watching her during the moment was amazing. She would always grip him tight when she was close. He even had scars from their more intense moments. As soon as they were done; before he could even catch his breath she would get up get dressed and leave. And he would give a disheartened sigh, mostly because once again, she didn't look at him. For some reason her refusing to look at him was hurting more and more every time. So the next night when she came to his room he knew he needed to talk to her about it. But it was a lot harder than he had thought it would be.
It was like she knew he wanted to talk to her, because she wouldn't let him get a word out. She walked into his room and he started with a "Rae..." And she didn't respond but instead forced him to sit down on his bed as she climbed on his lap, straddling his waist. "Raven." He tried again, but she only kissed him in response. She barely let him breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ra-" He mumbled against her lips trying to break free. But she didn't let him. But to be honest he wasn't trying that hard. Because a part of him feared that whatever he managed to say would scare her off. He tried to take control of the situation and managed to flip them over so her back was on his bed and he was on top of her, but it didn't help, and instead backfired. As soon as he managed to say her name again she shushed him and started taking her clothes off. It distracted him for the moment and as soon as he got his train of thought back he saw she was taking his clothes off. Things were moving fast as usual and he was running out of time as she started getting them into position. And that would make it really hard to speak.
…
She moaned and glided her hands on his back and shoulders as they moved. But the fact that her eyes were still closed showed that he had to say something, it was now or never. Because the way she arched her back and gripped his shoulders showed it was only a matter of time before they were done, and she would be gone. He slowed down but didn't stop as he bent down, kissing her neck and quickly whispered into her ear "Raven please, look at me. Open your eyes for once and look at me." He was surprised how calm he sounded, he was sure he would sound pathetic, or desperate. As soon as the words left him she practically stopped, as did time as she slowly obeyed his wishes. He watched urgently, as her beautiful eyes opened and looked half-lidded at him as she brought her hands up and softly cupped his face, refusing to look away. And he loved it. It was intoxicating. For she refused to look away until they finished. Only closing them for those little kisses in-between. And when they were done, and he rolled off of her, he watched in bewilderment as she didn't get up to leave. He couldn't help but turn to his side and watch as she… well didn't leave, and instead she turned to her side to face him. He knew he had a shocked expression, he just couldn't believe she stayed, and even more so was looking at him, actually looking at him.