~T'was The Night Before Pandoramas~
T'was the night before Christmas, and in the Rainsworth house,
Not a chain was stirring, not even Vince's door mouse.
Mountains of cookies of all shapes and all sizes,
I left in the kitchen, for my master who loved such surprises.
To the stairs I crawled as I wished for my bed,
I'd just had a mission to crush a frickin' doll's head.
And after hanging up cloak and my hat,
I kicked off my shoes, locking my door to keep out Ada's damn cat.
When suddenly I heard some familiar laughter,
I stumbled from my bed and cursed that mad-hatter.
Away to my balcony I ran and I cursed,
Thinking, 'Damn you Break, you're really the worst!'
Ignoring the glowing moon and the blanketing snow,
I craned my neck but spotted no idiot below.
Soon after the moment I sighed and gave up,
But then on my head fell a frickin' lollipop!
Looking up I saw a sleigh then took a double take,
I wondered if Break spiked the milk with sake.
Smiling and laughing at my stunned face it drew closer,
It was then that I spotted my young master!
"Now Liam! Now, Vincent! Now, Alice and Jack!
On, Oscar! On, Brahma! On Sharon and Break!
To the roof of the mansion," continued the blondie,
"And hurry up you guys, I really need to pee!"
The sleigh crashed through the wall,
Making Oz stubble from his seat and fall.
But he was quickly up and stared at me,
'What does he have planned?' I would have to see.
His eyes-how they shone! His smile how merry!
His cheeks were red roses, his nose a cherry!
His bratty little mouth, grinning like crazy,
And the memories of the proceeding torture weren't hazy.
My eyes widening comically,
I swore I saw him grin evilly.
He held up a mistletoe in his left and a cat in his right,
"Give kitty a kiss," he said. "And don't you dare fight!"
But I heeded him not, as I ran away,
Panting as I turned a corner harshly; increasing my disarray.
Down the stairs I bound,
Slipping on a rug and spinning around.
Pass the room for sitting,
And pass the room for living.
I ran and I sprint,
Falling, toppling, spilling a bowl full of mint.
"If Gil doesn't come back, he'll regret it all the more,
Especially when he sees what else is in store!"
But I ran all the faster at his words,
As I hated his torture like he hated cheese curds.
He lunged for me but I screamed and I ducked,
It was then I, by Break and Emily, was mocked.
"Poor Raven, running from his cruel young master,
Sprint to safety Gil~! Save yourself! Run faster!"
As usual I ignored his stupidity,
And his freakish puppet's idiocy.
But I couldn't help but grumble,
Of how my sleepy wish had crumble.
But alas peace was not to be,
For my dumbass socks slid, and me;
Tumbling to the floor in such a drastic fall,
That in knee-weakening laughter, Oz leaned against the wall.
Soon he recovered and grinned at me,
'Oh why,' I pondered, 'can't he just let me be!'
"Get over here, Gil~! And help me stand,"
I, with a sigh, obeyed his command.
Bracing myself for some childish prank,
I didn't expect to feel a spank.
But a spank it was, and to my ass no less,
"Merry Christmas, Gil!" He finally declares.
~~~0~~~
A/N: Like it? Don't? It seemed like a good idea at the start, but I'm kinda thinking 'epic fail…'
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