When I first saw Link with a mustache I knew something was up.
Yes, I said mustache.
No, it wasn't real. (Did you really think that?) It was just drawn on his face, but still. Something was happening.
And if something is happening, I have to get to the bottom of it.
No matter how bizarre.
I noticed Zelda going out in the night.
Consistently for the past few days, she'd been leaving her room when (she thought) I was asleep.
But I wasn't.
I knew she'd been going somewhere.
Meeting someone in secret perhaps?
I had an idea who (it was obvious, really), but I'm not the type of person to jump to conclusions without some hard facts to back them up.
So I got an idea.
I decided to take matters into my own hands and figure out what was really going on.
But first I waited a few more days.
Link had another mustache this morning.
Again.
It's been going on for quite a while now; one more day and it'd be a week.
I think I might actually be starting to feel sorry for the guy.
Nah. It's funny as hell in all honesty.
It's been a full week now.
Zelda came back later than usual, her footsteps heavy as if something bad had happened.
"Why do you keep going out at night?" I asked, feigning cluelessness.
She didn't respond
"Zelda," I said seriously.
She still didn't respond, but through the thin divider in our room I heard her sit down on her bed.
I guess this is a good a time as any.
I got out of my own bed, leaving my room and walking around to her door.
I opened it.
She was sitting on her covers with her legs pulled to her chest. She set her feet on the floor as I walked to her side.
I stared at her as a small breeze blew in through the window. It was a hot night.
I bet my stare was creepy in the moonlight.
Anyway, I grabbed her shoulders, pressing her to the sheets as I looked down from above.
I probably made her feel awkward.
Exactly as planned.
"Tell me what happened."
She averted her gaze, face reddening in the moonlight.
Bingo.
I couldn't help but smile.
"Oh. I see," I said, letting up on her shoulders.
I left the room, going back to my own.
In the following nights she didn't leave hers anymore.
They were avoiding each other now.
I noticed Link carried a marker in his pocket at all times.
It was one of Zelda's markers.
I got another idea.
Maybe it would make them stop acting so bizarre around each other.
Mid-way through the week I confronted Link.
I stood in front of the bathroom door after dinner as he was heading to take a shower.
"Link," I said sternly, arms crossed over my chest.
Either this will play out well, or get really bizarre, really fast.
"You and Zelda…" I drifted.
He glanced around, making sure no one was watching as he began to speak.
Flustered, he told me how he'd set a trap to catch whoever had been drawing mustaches on him, how it ended up being so weird since Zelda was the culprit.
His face got especially red as he was explaining how he'd pinned her to the sheets beneath him, moonlight streaming in through the window and lighting up her embarrassed expression as she looked to his shirtless upper body.
According to him, her face as bright as his Crimson Loftwing (I might add, his was the same shade as he told the story).
Once he finished, I smiled.
"Oh."
That's all I said as I stepped aside from the bathroom door.
I walked away without looking back.
Those two are so bizarre.
The next day they were still avoiding each other.
I saw Link alone in Owlan's classroom, looking for a book I assume, since he stood facing the shelf that held them.
I cornered him.
This time I didn't smile.
"How long are you two going to do this?" I asked, irritated.
"What do you mean?" He replied, playing dumb.
"You know what I'm talking about. You and Zelda."
I crossed my arms over my chest.
He blushed a little.
I let out an exasperated sigh, closing my eyes and putting my palm to my forehead.
These two are so… bizarre.
I looked up at him again and spoke,
"Step it up."
He just looked at me.
"You know, take charge. Are you a man, or what?"
He stayed silent.
I had to do something.
"If you don't then…"
I let the words hang there; staring at him for a few seconds before I rolled my eyes and walked away.
Damn it.
Those two are so thickheaded.
Oh well.
Hopefully that warning would work.
I didn't want to have to come up with another plan, especially since I threatened Link with one already.
Knowing me, any further plans of mine would probably end up being really bizarre.
A couple days passed.
He still hadn't given back her marker.
She still hadn't left her room at night.
Do I really need to intervene more? I thought as I lay in bed.
That's when I heard her door open.
I smiled, turning over so I could better hear the events that were about to play out.
The stage is set.
The players present.
Perfect.
"Zelda, I…"
He started to speak, but stopped there.
I frowned.
Was that all?
It wasn't.
Very faintly (the sound was almost nonexistent) I think I heard him kiss her.
I think.
The marker made a small clack as he set it on her desk (at least I assumed he set it on her desk) then I heard the door open and click closed as he left.
It worked.
I smiled.
Good. Now they'll be back to normal.
Or…
Better than normal.
Anyway, those two are so bizarre, aren't they?
A/N: The mastermind behind the plot got what she wanted.
If you didn't know, this is one of three perspectives of the same story. The other two, Awkward, and Weird, are from Zelda and Link's views, respectively.