Author's note: I'm going to try to deal with a serious situation in as lighthearted a way as possible, as I want to keep the general feel of the original series. No matter what awful things happened in the original work it was always handled in a fun, upbeat or zany way. If you are looking for angst and deep drama, this isn't the place, but neither will it be an all out gag fic. I've tried to stick to the character's personalities as much as possible in the situation I've created, although they do go through some growth.
In third person Ranma will be referred to as she or he based on his/her gender at the time. People will refer to Ranma as he/she based on their perception of Ranma's gender in that moment.
It does say Female Ranma x Ryoga right in the description, if you don't like the pairing turn and run now.
Constructive criticism is welcomed, learning from my mistakes is how I'll grow :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2 or any of the characters within.
Magic and Mushrooms
Prologue
Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat
Great, it's raining again... was the first thought that ran through Ryoga's mind upon waking. His second thought was more of a realization as he became aware that he had his arms wrapped around the small, warm, -naked- body that was nestled up against him. Well, one hand was wrapped around her, the other was cupping her right breast. That thought caused his fingers to flinch, which the girl definitely seemed to notice. Ryoga opened his eyes to see just what he had done last night (or who, as the case may be). Oh no...
Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat
Ugh, it's so cold when it rains... was the first thought that ran through Ranma's mind upon waking. Her second thought was more of a realization as she became aware of an extremely warm body behind her and snuggled closer to it for the heat. It began to occur to her that it felt an awful lot like a -naked- male body with his arms wrapped around her, one hand resting on her breast. The hand squeezed. Ranma's eyes flew open and she turned to see just what she had done last night (or who, as the case may be). Oh no...
Two screams of sheer horror rang out across the mountainside. Birds fled their nests despite the rain and animals dove for cover. Far away in the Tendo dojo, Akane awoke with a start. An ominous feeling settled over her. I do hope those two are all right...
Chapter 1
"Ranma, Prepare to die!"
Ranma had been minding her own business in the back yard, happily eating takoyaki that she had charmed off a local vendor for free. Yes, being a girl had it's definite up sides. Unfortunately her snack was being interrupted by a noisy idiot, a noisy idiot that had just busted open a small crater in the ground next to her feet with his ridiculously heavy umbrella.
"Aw, come on Ryoga, lemme eat first." She whined as she dodged his slow (well, compared to Ranma anyway), but no doubt, powerful blows.
"No excuses will delay this fight Ranma. Today we settle this like men!" He yelled, ignoring entirely the fact that Ranma was not currently a man at all. Ranma landed on the umbrella that he had thrust in her direction. She popped a takoyaki in her mouth and back-flipped off again.
"Just two minutes man." She shuddered slightly as she said the next part, "I'll share."
"As if I'd share anything with you!" He whipped off several bandannas and threw them in her direction.
She didn't even bother to dodge as they flew past her. "Ha! Your aim is way off." She gloated.
"I wasn't aiming for you." Was his smug reply.
Just then a bandana boomeranged back and whacked the takoyaki out of her grasp. She watched the container as it fell, seemingly in slow motion, to land face down in the grass. Her hands balled into trembling fists and a rather terrifying battle aura emanated from her. That was it, Ryoga Hibiki was going to pay!
A whirlwind of destruction and chaos ensued in the Tendo's yard. Curses were uttered, threats were made and violence reigned. All in all, a fairly ordinary afternoon since the arrival of the Saotomes.
The battle started off decidedly in Ranma's favor, until Ryoga dropped his immense backpack, it landed with an ear splitting bang. Huh, how did I not notice that until now? Ranma wondered. Ryoga's speed increased dramatically, which forced Ranma to go on the defensive. She was very narrowly dodging the torrent of punches and kicks he was sending her way. Oh, man. If any of these actually hit me, I'm gonna be in trouble. With that thought in mind, she ran up the tree behind her and flipped over his head. This would have been a good plan were it not for the takoyaki container laying forgotten on the ground. As her foot touched down it slipped out from under her, causing her to fall backwards. Ryoga took the opportunity and drove his fist into her stomach.
Holy mother of $&#+/=!¥¢ That hurts! Ranma clutched at her midsection and rolled onto her side, groaning.
"What is going on here?!" Demanded an irate Akane as she assessed the damage to her family's property.
"A-Akane! I, err... That is, we... uh..." babbled Ryoga with one hand characteristically behind his head.
Ranma managed to climb to her feet, still clutching her wounded stomach. "Just a bit of sparring between friends Akane. No need ta make a big deal of it."
"Friends? Friends! What kind of friends would cause this much devastation during a match? Were you trying to kill each other?" She didn't wait for a response and continued her rant, "I am sick and tired of you two fighting like this all the time! I've had it! That's it! You two are going to get along whether you like it or not. I'm sending you both on a survival training journey through the mountains, just the two of you. You will be forced to cooperate, or you'll both die of starvation!" That said, she spun on her heel and strode angrily back into the house.
"Hey Ryoga, we are friends, right?" Ranma asked, surprised that Akane would question that fact. She knew, or at least she thought she knew, that Ryoga had come by to test the results of some new training. Not to actually harm her.
"I don't know if I'd go quite that far..." Ryoga replied. He supposed Ranma was the closest thing he had to a friend, but he had no intentions of revealing it. The whole 'prepare to die' thing was really just a greeting born of habit by now.
That answer seemed to satisfy her though, because she flashed him a small smile.
"So what's with the backpack?" She asked as she attempted to lift it. Damn that's heavy. The attempt was aggravating her injury so she gave up.
"Well... don't laugh ok?" He waited until he saw her nod. "I got the idea from a cartoon... Dragonball. The characters in that show wore heavy turtle shells on their backs while training and when they took them off their speed had improved."
Ranma's cheeks puffed and were reddening as she attempted to hold in her laughter. It's no good... soon she was giggling wildly in a most unmanly way.
"Hey! It worked didn't it? I won today." The giggles ceased immediately.
"Only 'cause I was a girl." Ranma huffed. She decided then that the trip Akane was sending them on was a good opportunity to train her girl half. Always training as a guy had left that part of her more vulnerable.
Deciding to change the subject as they walked into the house to get cleaned up, she asked, "So, have you picked up any other training advice from cartoons lately?"
Ranma stuffed the last items he needed on top of the weights he had added to his backpack and zipped it up.
A week had passed since Akane had declared that he and Ryoga were to go on a training journey. Soun and Genma had readily agreed. There had been a look of pride on Genma's face and tears streaking down Soun's cheeks as the pair reminisced about training trips they had taken as youths. The two men had set to work drawing up a map that outlined a journey they had once themselves taken.
Ryoga was already in the Tendo's sitting room when Ranma came down the stairs.
"Take a seat son." Soun gestured to the space across from him at the table.
As Ranma made himself comfortable Genma entered the room with an armload of various supplies. "Boy, this is a survival journey. Your training is of course important, but your teamwork is what will be tested. You will start your fires by hand and catch your own food. The route we have planned was designed to push you to your very limits. These," he pushed the items he held forward, "are your emergency supplies. They are for use in life or death situations only. If you return having used these up, your journey will be considered a failure and you will bring shame to the Anything Goes school of martial arts. Do you understand?"
"Yeah Pops, I hear ya." He replied in a bored tone. How bad could it possibly be? He sure is being overly dramatic about it. it's not like I've never caught my own dinner before. Ranma thought to himself.
The whole Tendo family gathered in the yard to bid the boys farewell.
"Stay safe." Kasumi said sincerely.
"No fighting." Akane said with a warning in her voice.
"Watch out for lions, tigers and bears." Nabiki cautioned.
"Oh my, I doubt they'll encounter any of those along the route father chose." Kasumi exclaimed.
"That depends on whether or not Ryoga is holding the map." Nabiki replied dryly.
Everyone but the boy in question laughed at that. Ryoga merely growled to himself. It's not like I don't know that I have a lousy sense of direction, no need to rub it in. Instead of voicing this thought he merely said, "Goodbye Akane, we'll... I'll behave, I promise."
"Oh, before you go..." Akane ran back into the house to grab something. She returned a minute later with two bento boxes wrapped in cloth. "I know you are supposed to work for your dinner, but I thought that just this once wouldn't hurt." She held out the two bentos with a smile that clearly revealed just how oblivious she was to the state of her own cooking.
Ranma tried to back away, but Ryoga elbowed him in the gut. "Thank you for your thoughtfulness Akane." He said as he accepted the boxes then nudged Ranma with his foot.
"Yes, thank you Akane..." Ranma bit out through clenched teeth.
Everyone said their goodbyes and the pair were soon leaping from rooftop to rooftop, heading out of the city.
"Hold up Ryoga." Ranma said once they were a good distance from the dojo.
Ryoga stopped and watched as Ranma pulled out a canteen and poured water over his head. "What are you doing?" He asked.
She grinned, "Training my girl half, when we're done you won't beat this side of me again!"
"Why change now then, why not at the dojo?"
"Can you imagine how much Pops'd make fun of me if he knew I planned ta spend the next two months as a girl?" Or how ashamed he'd be. Not to mention what mom would think if she found out... Ranma shook her head. "Never mind that, race ya!"
"Hey! Get back here." Losing sight of Ranma was not an option, Ryoga really didn't fancy a visit to the Sahara just now.
Evening was closing in as they reached the outskirts of Tokyo. They were forced to make camp in an empty lot, this wasn't really unusual for Ryoga, it seemed to him that he had spent half his life living out of tents in empty lots.
They sat in front of their tent eyeing down the bento boxes. Their stomachs growled in unison, and yet they did not eat.
"Akane probably put a lot of effort into making them..." Ryoga commented, but he made no move to open either of them. Ranma remained silent.
"If she thought we didn't eat them, she'd be mad..." He continued, but still he did not reach for the boxes. He glanced at Ranma, who still hadn't said a word.
"She'd be heartbroken if she knew we threw them out..." His face paled at the recollection of the last meal of Akane's he'd eaten. He'd been a pig at the time which meant his sense of taste had been even more sensitive than a human's. Ugh...
"Our stomachs will be broken if we do eat them." Ranma answered at last. She picked up the one meant for her and threw it in a nearby dumpster, she would not be guilted into eating that slop.
Ryoga silently apologized to Akane as he dropped his in the garbage after Ranma. He didn't want to start this trip off with a case of food poisoning.
Both their stomachs grumbled again. "So what now? Unless you feel like alley cat, there is nothing to catch this close to town." Ryoga asked.
"Hmm, ya know, I bet I can find a catch." She replied with a sly grin. "C'mon, I saw a food cart two blocks back." She grabbed Ryoga by the sleeve and dragged him off in the right direction.
"But we're not allowed to buy food." Ryoga didn't want to break his word or lie to the Tendos.
"Don't worry, we won't pay a single yen and it's within the rules. I'll get dinner using my skills." Ranma winked at him. "Look, there's the cart!" She pointed across the street. "Now to wait for a good catch."
Ryoga wasn't certain what she was up to, she just kept telling him to keep quiet and trust her. So he did. They stood off in an allyway for almost twenty minutes before Ranma whispered, "There!" She looked at him, "You wait here."
He watched as she pinched herself to make her eyes water, then she crossed the street to speak to a young man in a suit. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but she had her hands up under her chin and looked adorably sad. The man nodded at her, causing her to smile thankfully and grab hold of his arm. The two walked up to the food cart and Ranma excitedly pointed at several items, pausing in between to bat her eyelashes at the man. She pointed at even more food and the man's eyes grew comically wide, she then ran the back of her hand down his arm while looking into his eyes. The man relented and several minutes later she handed him a slip of paper and waved goodbye to him. The man was smiling from ear to ear.
Ranma was grinning like the cat that got the canary (or the Genma that got the last pickle) as she ducked into the ally. "Told ya he was a catch." She said as she presented the very large bag of food.
"Ranma..." Ryoga was stunned momentarily, "did you just hit on a guy?" The thing he found the most scary was just how good she seemed at it. Just how many times has he done this?
"I prefer to think of it as a con. Really, what's the good of great looks like these," she motioned up and down, indicating herself, "if ya can't get a little something out of it?"
Ryoga shivered, "You sound like Nabiki." She shrugged and turned to head back to camp. There was a bounce in her step as though she was exceedingly pleased with herself.
"Did you give him your phone number?" Ryoga asked, more than a little disturbed by the whole display.
"Of course not." Ryoga sighed with relief, at least she hadn't gone crazy. "I gave him the number to the Cat Cafe, who knows, maybe he'll take Shampoo off my hands." She snickered. Ryoga thought the whole thing was rather cruel, having been tricked by Ranma on numerous occasions, but he was hungry so he tried not to over think it.
The food turned out to be quite good. Ryoga was pleased to see Ranma eating like a pig, as unfeminine as was possible. Ranma acting like a girl, albeit a manipulative one, was something he'd be quite happy never to see again.
The mountain range Soun and Genma had selected was notorious for being the most deadly in Japan. Looking up at it now Ryoga and Ranma could see why. It was tall, too tall to see the highest snow covered peak, with sheer cliff faces that could easily drop a man to his death. Vegetation was dense in areas and sparse in others. They were to scale the entire range, taking the path laid out for them on the map.
"Here? Are you sure Ranma? Let me see that map." Ryoga reached out to grab it from her hands.
"No way!" She leapt back. "You ain't touchin' it. This is the place marked on the map for sure."
"What about that?" He pointed at a nearby sign.
-WARNING DANGER-
Trail closed until further notice
"That's for regular people Ryoga, we're martial artists. Besides Pops and Mr. Tendo went this way and we can do anything they can." Her fist was clenched in determination as she strode past the sign and into the thick undergrowth.
Ryoga followed her, pushing brush out of his way as he went. Had he not been entirely focused on following Ranma he might have noticed that the lower half of the sign was now visible and continued on to read:
Due to dangerous invasive fungus
Do not eat under any circumstances.
But he did not notice, so the pair carried on.
When they reached the first campsite indicated on the map they were both drenched in sweat. The hike through the dense foliage had been exhausting. Ranma had been tearing her way through the vines and bushes littering the forest floor. Ryoga had been cutting his way through with his chi hardened belt.
"You gotta teach me how ta do that." Ranma said, pointing at the strip of cloth in his hand.
"Sure, why not. After dinner." He said as he started to set up camp.
"Lucky for us, the map takes us along a stream for a few days. Getting food will be easy at this rate. I wonder if Pops was exaggerating when he said this would push us to our limits."
"This is only the first day Ranma, I wouldn't get too cocky just yet."
"Ranma!" Ryoga exclaimed in annoyance.
"Careful P-chan, you promised Akane that you wouldn't get mad at me." Ranma sing-songed.
"Dammit Ranma, just put some clothes on!" He wiped his nose on his sleeve, yep, it was bleeding.
"I'm not gonna go swimming with my clothes on Ryoga, they'll get all wet. You try catching some fish why dontcha?" She crossed her arms as if to make her point, but this only pushed her breasts together and upward, increasing Ryoga's discomfort.
He's not a girl. He's not a girl. He's not a girl. "Dammit Ranma, you know I can't. I'd just turn into a pig. Just get in the water already then! You don't have to prance around like that." The sight of Ranma in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts was really doing his head in. Ranma's female side was certainly beautiful with an incredible body, but it was Ranma. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.
A little twinkle lit up the corner of Ranma's eye. She just couldn't resist, for reasons beyond her explanation teasing Ryoga was one of her favorite pastimes. Silently she crept up on him while he wasn't looking and wrapped both of her arms around one of his. Her breasts were ever so slightly grazing his arm.
A visible shiver ran up his spine, caused by a mixture of revulsion, shame and lust. He looked down and opened his mouth to yell at her but she was looking up at him with huge, sad, watery eyes. The words caught in his throat.
"What's wrong? Am I not pretty enough for you Ryoga?" She asked with a tremble of her lip.
His cheeks reddened and his brain misfired, "Uh... I didn't... I don't..."
Success. Reaching up, she flicked his nose and with teasing grin said, "Gotcha!" She dropped his arm and took off running before he came back to his senses.
Humiliation washed over him, which rapidly turned to rage. "Ranma!" He would have given chase, but she was already knee deep in the cold water.
This is gonna be a fun trip. Ranma thought with a smile. Then she calmed her breathing and waited motionless in the water for her prey.
Ryoga huffed angrily and turned to get the fire started. At least with the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken Ranma could be relied on to catch a few fish. This is gonna be a long trip. He thought with a sigh.