I Dream of Delphine.

Totally AU. Colonel Cosima Niehaus' space capsule splashes down in the ocean near a desert island. Delphine is a genie whom Cosima frees. No Cophine in this story folks, written totally for a laugh!

A/N. Thanks to the writers and producers of I Dream of Jeannie and Orphan Black. I have no connection with either show and no infringement of copyright is intended.

The space capsule was way off course. It splashed down safely in the Pacific Ocean near a small desert island. The waves washed the capsule close to the sandy beach. So close in fact that when Colonel Cosima Niehaus cracked the hatch she stepped right onto the beach.

Cosima had a silly thought about the TV show 'I dream of Jeannie' where Tony Nelson opens the hatch of his capsule & finds a bottle lying on the sand. Curiosity makes him open the bottle & out comes 'Jeannie'

"I wonder if there is a Genie bottle lying around here somewhere" she thought. No sooner had the thought occurred when she saw a strange looking bottle half buried in the sand.

"No way!" she said to no one in particular. She picked up the bottle, shook it a little & removed the stopper. A big cloud of smoke emerged from the bottle and Cosima reached for her phone and took a picture of it before it solidified and took on the shape of a woman. "This is so going on Facebook!"

"Oh mon dieu, merci beaucoup, thank you, thank you for freeing me from the bottle." The Genie gushed.

"Whoa, welcome to the trip man!" Cosima exclaimed. "Is this the part where you grant me three wishes?"

"No Cherie, I am not that kind of Genie."

"Wow, thanks for the buzz kill. So, how did you get in there?"

"I was tricked by the evil Rachel D'DYAD, she imprisoned me in this bottle and now you have saved me. I am your humble servant for life or ten years whatever comes first!"

"Do you have a name?" Cosima asked.

"Yes, Cherie, my name is Delphine Cormier, and you are?"

"Colonel Cosima Niehaus USAF"

"USAF?"

"United States Air Force."

"Oh."

Cosima could hear the sound of the approaching rescue helicopter. "That's my ride; can I give you a lift?"

"You mean I can finally go home?"

"Well you said you'd be my humble servant for life or ten years, so, I can't see why not."

"Oh thank you mon ami, I am forever in your debt." Delphine said kissing Cosima's cheeks on both sides.

The approaching 'chopper' was kicking up the sand with the down thrust of its powerful rotors. It couldn't land on the small beach, so a rope ladder was unrolled from the open door. Unseen by Cosima or Delphine, her bottle was being covered by sand blown from the rotors.

Cosima started to climb the ladder, "Come on Delphine, the meter's running!"

"I can't find my bottle!"

"What?" Cosima struggled to hear over the noise of the rotors.

"I can't find my bottle!"

"You don't need it anymore, you're free!" Cosima yelled.

"No you don't understand all my stuff is in there. My Jimmy Choo's especially!"

"Leave it behind, we have to go!"

"I cannot, I have to find my bottle."

"Well I can't wait, I have to go!"

"If that is your wish Cherie, I will grant it. bon voyage, a bientot."

Cosima climbed into the chopper and fastened her harness; she was looking out the door at Delphine combing the sand for her bottle as the chopper rose into the sky. On impulse Cosima unfastened her harness and said to the pilot. "Take me back down."

"I can't do that Ma'am." The pilot replied.

"Captain, I'm a Colonel, don't make me pull rank!"

"I can't land on the beach Colonel."

"Obvs, just hover above the water and I'll jump in."

"Are you sure Ma'am?"

"No, but I'm gonna do it anyway!"

The chopper hovered above the shoreline and Cosima stripped out of her flight suit and jumped into the water. She waded ashore as the chopper disappeared into the distance.

Cosima stubbed her toe and looked down to see the bottle inverted in the sand at her feet.

"Hey, Delphine! Lookin' for this?"

"Ohhhh!" Delphine screamed with delight and ran to Cosima and started kissing her cheeks all over again.

"So, what do we do now?" they both said together and giggled like schoolgirls.

"Don't worry" Cosima assured her "the rescue chopper will come back, they have to pick up the capsule as well you know"

"You think of everything Cherie."

"Of course, that's why I'm a Colonel."

They walked hand in hand along the beach and into the setting sun.

The End.

Awww shucks! Don't you just love schmaltzy endings?