Disclaimer: I love American Idol and I love Harry Potter so I mixed the two
of them together. I know that there are a lot of these so i decided to make
mine extra funny. Enjoy! Pleas review!
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Good and Bad
Chapter 1
Gryffindor Auditions
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Lockhart: Hello Hogwarts, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, your host for Hogwarts Idol. We have traveled to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to find out who is Hogwarts' greatest singer. And now to meet your judges:
*Lockhart walks over to the judges table*
Lockhart: Your first host replacing Randy, who unfortunately got into a gangsta fight and was beaten to death is Professor Remus Lupin!
Lupin: Hello witches, wizards and werewolves!
Lockhart: And second, replacing Paula who was a bit too nice to a bunch of bumblebees and is now in the hospital in intensive care is Professor Trelawney!
Trelawney; I see great singers in the near future.
Lockhart: Right...And last, replacing Simon, who went insane and is now in a mental hospital, somewhere in Pakistan is Professor Severus Snape!
Snape: I wouldn't be here if I wasn't being paid.
Lockhart: And now lets go to the Gryffindor common room for today's tryouts.
*Scene changes to Gryffindor common room*
Lockhart: Hello again!*smiles like a jackass* we are now in the Gryffindor common room. First please.
*A tall boy with bright red hair, loads of freckles and a long nose walks onto the stage*
Lupin: Name?
Red hair: Ronald Weasley.
Lupin: Go on please.
Ron: Okay. I'm going to sing 'the one' by Shakira.
You're the on I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
You're the one I need
My real life has just begun
Cause there's nothing like
Your smile made of sun
In a world full of strangers
You're the one I know
Lupin: That was really good.
Trelawney: I see fame in your future.
Snape: Why do I have to go through this? *Bawls like a baby*
Lockhart: Congratulations, you've made it to the next round! See you in the great hall next week!
*Ron runs out smiling and a pretty girl with long black hair runs onto the stage giggling like crazy*
Trelawney: Name?
Giggles: Parvati Patil.
Trelawney: Go on dear and please stop giggling, the oracles don't appreciate that.
Parvati: Okay, like, I'm going to sing 'Sk8er Boi' by Avril Lavigne.
He was a sk8er boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth
Lupin: You have a great voice but you need to control your breathing, you sounded like you were having a asthma attack.
Trelawney: Your voice is so annoying!
Snape: I better be getting paid extra for this.
Lockhart: Sorry Parvati but you haven't made it.
Snape: Yesssss!
*Parvati breaks into tears and runs off the stage and an extremely short, skinny boy that looked 10, with messy black hair and glasses framing green eyes enters the stage*
Snape: Name, shrimp!
Green eyes: Come on Professor, you know my name, everyone knows my name.
Snape: Tell me your name you insolent brat!!
Green eyes: Harry Potter.
Snape: How old are you?
Harry: Fifteen.
Snape: Are you sure? You look like on of those little kids that carry fake I.D.s to buy illegal drugs.
Harry: I really am fifteen.
Lupin: Sorry to interrupt your fascinating argument but Harry has to go on now.
Harry: I'm going to sing 'Invisible' by Clay Aiken.
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am
Lupin: You have such a beautiful voice, your mother and father would be so proud.
Harry: *Blushes uncontrollably*
Trelawney: You have a great voice but remember your tea leaves, you must trust what they say.
Snape: *Glares*
Lockhart: Congratulations Harry, you've made it! See you in the great hall next week.
*Harry leaves the stage and a short, plump boy with brown hair and rosy cheeks walks in*
Lupin: Name?
Chubby: Neville Longbottom.
Snape: *Gives Neville an evil glare* Sing you stupid fat blob!
Neville: *Squeaks* Yes Sir. I'm going to sing 'I'm a little teapot.
I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
This is my handle
This is my spout
When you turn me over
Hear me shout
Tip me over
And pour me out
Lupin: Err...
Trelawney: Umm...
Snape: Is this some kind of joke? *Bursts out laughing, shocking everyone because he's never laughed before*
Lockhart: Sorry Neville but you didn't make it.
Neville: Wah! I'm a stupid fat blob that can't do anything *Trips and rolls off the stage*
*A pretty girl with shoulder length brown hair and long eyelashes enters the stage*
Trelawney: Name fellow divination lover?
Long eyelashes: Lavender Brown. *Giggle*
Trelawney: Go on.
Lavender: I'm going to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
In the sky you shine so bright
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Lupin: Couldn't you have chosen a better song?
Trelawney: You're supposed to be my follower and you can't even sing!!!
Snape: *Puts his hands in praying position* Oh dear God help me!
Lockhart: Sorry Giggles, I mean Lavender but you didn't make it through.
*Lavender bursts into tears and runs to Parvati and a pretty girl with bushy brown hair and big front teeth walks in*
Snape: Name mudblood?
Big teeth: Hermione Granger
Snape: Sing you filthy mudblood!
Hermione: I'm going to sing 'Objection' by Shakira.
Objection, I don't want a big exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection, I'm tired of this triangle
Got tired dancing tango
No way
I've got to get away
Lupin: You are an extremely talented singer and definitely look like one too.
Trelawney: I wish my followers could sing as good as you.
Snape: Your voice kills, literally.
Lockhart: Congratulations Hermione you made it! See you in the great hall.
*Hermione sighs at Lockhart and leaves the stage. A tall, sandy haired boy walks in*
Lupin: Name?
Sandy hair: Seamus Finnigan.
Snape: Go on but I swear, if I hear on more bad singer I'm going to ring that persons neck and flush him down the toilet.
Lupin: Quiet Snivellus! Go on Seamus.
Seamus: I'm going to sing 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer'
Rudolf the red nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw him
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeers
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolf
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say
Rudolf with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight
Now all the reindeers love him
They all shouted out with glee
They even let poor Rudolf
Be an part of history
Lupin: Okay then...
Trelawney: I see rejection in your future.
Snape: I am not amused.
Lockhart: Sorry you suck and didn't make it.
Seamus: Well you guys suck!!!
Lockhart: Now that's all folks, see you tomorrow for the Slytherin auditions. Now I have to go get plastic surgery, bie!
*Camera moves over to Lupin and Snape beating each other up then all goes black*
.
.
.
Disclaimer: I probably wont update this story as much as my others because I'll probably be busy with my other stories. And I only wrote this for fun. I wasn't going to put it up. Please review!
.
.
.
Good and Bad
Chapter 1
Gryffindor Auditions
.
.
.
Lockhart: Hello Hogwarts, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, your host for Hogwarts Idol. We have traveled to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to find out who is Hogwarts' greatest singer. And now to meet your judges:
*Lockhart walks over to the judges table*
Lockhart: Your first host replacing Randy, who unfortunately got into a gangsta fight and was beaten to death is Professor Remus Lupin!
Lupin: Hello witches, wizards and werewolves!
Lockhart: And second, replacing Paula who was a bit too nice to a bunch of bumblebees and is now in the hospital in intensive care is Professor Trelawney!
Trelawney; I see great singers in the near future.
Lockhart: Right...And last, replacing Simon, who went insane and is now in a mental hospital, somewhere in Pakistan is Professor Severus Snape!
Snape: I wouldn't be here if I wasn't being paid.
Lockhart: And now lets go to the Gryffindor common room for today's tryouts.
*Scene changes to Gryffindor common room*
Lockhart: Hello again!*smiles like a jackass* we are now in the Gryffindor common room. First please.
*A tall boy with bright red hair, loads of freckles and a long nose walks onto the stage*
Lupin: Name?
Red hair: Ronald Weasley.
Lupin: Go on please.
Ron: Okay. I'm going to sing 'the one' by Shakira.
You're the on I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
You're the one I need
My real life has just begun
Cause there's nothing like
Your smile made of sun
In a world full of strangers
You're the one I know
Lupin: That was really good.
Trelawney: I see fame in your future.
Snape: Why do I have to go through this? *Bawls like a baby*
Lockhart: Congratulations, you've made it to the next round! See you in the great hall next week!
*Ron runs out smiling and a pretty girl with long black hair runs onto the stage giggling like crazy*
Trelawney: Name?
Giggles: Parvati Patil.
Trelawney: Go on dear and please stop giggling, the oracles don't appreciate that.
Parvati: Okay, like, I'm going to sing 'Sk8er Boi' by Avril Lavigne.
He was a sk8er boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth
Lupin: You have a great voice but you need to control your breathing, you sounded like you were having a asthma attack.
Trelawney: Your voice is so annoying!
Snape: I better be getting paid extra for this.
Lockhart: Sorry Parvati but you haven't made it.
Snape: Yesssss!
*Parvati breaks into tears and runs off the stage and an extremely short, skinny boy that looked 10, with messy black hair and glasses framing green eyes enters the stage*
Snape: Name, shrimp!
Green eyes: Come on Professor, you know my name, everyone knows my name.
Snape: Tell me your name you insolent brat!!
Green eyes: Harry Potter.
Snape: How old are you?
Harry: Fifteen.
Snape: Are you sure? You look like on of those little kids that carry fake I.D.s to buy illegal drugs.
Harry: I really am fifteen.
Lupin: Sorry to interrupt your fascinating argument but Harry has to go on now.
Harry: I'm going to sing 'Invisible' by Clay Aiken.
If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am
Lupin: You have such a beautiful voice, your mother and father would be so proud.
Harry: *Blushes uncontrollably*
Trelawney: You have a great voice but remember your tea leaves, you must trust what they say.
Snape: *Glares*
Lockhart: Congratulations Harry, you've made it! See you in the great hall next week.
*Harry leaves the stage and a short, plump boy with brown hair and rosy cheeks walks in*
Lupin: Name?
Chubby: Neville Longbottom.
Snape: *Gives Neville an evil glare* Sing you stupid fat blob!
Neville: *Squeaks* Yes Sir. I'm going to sing 'I'm a little teapot.
I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
This is my handle
This is my spout
When you turn me over
Hear me shout
Tip me over
And pour me out
Lupin: Err...
Trelawney: Umm...
Snape: Is this some kind of joke? *Bursts out laughing, shocking everyone because he's never laughed before*
Lockhart: Sorry Neville but you didn't make it.
Neville: Wah! I'm a stupid fat blob that can't do anything *Trips and rolls off the stage*
*A pretty girl with shoulder length brown hair and long eyelashes enters the stage*
Trelawney: Name fellow divination lover?
Long eyelashes: Lavender Brown. *Giggle*
Trelawney: Go on.
Lavender: I'm going to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
In the sky you shine so bright
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Lupin: Couldn't you have chosen a better song?
Trelawney: You're supposed to be my follower and you can't even sing!!!
Snape: *Puts his hands in praying position* Oh dear God help me!
Lockhart: Sorry Giggles, I mean Lavender but you didn't make it through.
*Lavender bursts into tears and runs to Parvati and a pretty girl with bushy brown hair and big front teeth walks in*
Snape: Name mudblood?
Big teeth: Hermione Granger
Snape: Sing you filthy mudblood!
Hermione: I'm going to sing 'Objection' by Shakira.
Objection, I don't want a big exception
To get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objection, I'm tired of this triangle
Got tired dancing tango
No way
I've got to get away
Lupin: You are an extremely talented singer and definitely look like one too.
Trelawney: I wish my followers could sing as good as you.
Snape: Your voice kills, literally.
Lockhart: Congratulations Hermione you made it! See you in the great hall.
*Hermione sighs at Lockhart and leaves the stage. A tall, sandy haired boy walks in*
Lupin: Name?
Sandy hair: Seamus Finnigan.
Snape: Go on but I swear, if I hear on more bad singer I'm going to ring that persons neck and flush him down the toilet.
Lupin: Quiet Snivellus! Go on Seamus.
Seamus: I'm going to sing 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer'
Rudolf the red nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw him
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeers
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolf
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say
Rudolf with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight
Now all the reindeers love him
They all shouted out with glee
They even let poor Rudolf
Be an part of history
Lupin: Okay then...
Trelawney: I see rejection in your future.
Snape: I am not amused.
Lockhart: Sorry you suck and didn't make it.
Seamus: Well you guys suck!!!
Lockhart: Now that's all folks, see you tomorrow for the Slytherin auditions. Now I have to go get plastic surgery, bie!
*Camera moves over to Lupin and Snape beating each other up then all goes black*
.
.
.
Disclaimer: I probably wont update this story as much as my others because I'll probably be busy with my other stories. And I only wrote this for fun. I wasn't going to put it up. Please review!