Author's Note: I wrote this sometime last year ('03) and never gotten around to edit it thoroughly (I probably already went over it at least 5 times in the last week). I hope after a year of writing, my skills had ripened or matured enough. Anyways, here it is.
Disclaimer: I, the author, do not own or have any rights over Inuyasha; Rumiko Takahashi does. That also means that I do not earn money writing fanfics. Besides, if you sue, you won't get anything from me. I don't own anything except for my own thoughts.
- unknown
I heard soft chattering. At the same time coming more into consciousness… I could feel warmth. This warmth… it was so comforting, so safe. My focus sharpened and my fingers could move. Finally, when I hesitantly opened my eyes one by one, I saw her.
She stood out from the rest.
I sat up from the moist haystack and pushed the covers off my weak, bruised body. Curiously I scanned the area, noticing how the atmosphere was so somber and intense. There were many wounded and crying. Others kept a brave face. Some tried to lighten the spirit. All of these people had something in common. They were hurt from a beast that attacked their village. I growled low in frustration.
There was another thing that these people had in common. I could tell by gloomy, deathly pale (if they didn't have dirt or blood on their) faces that they lost more than a house and/or land. More than likely they lost a loved one. I didn't have any doubt about that. Their grief stricken faces were already emblazed in my mind, an image not so easily erased in my memory. A bit disturbed, I turned away and gripped onto my sheet. I felt so horribly guilty—such an emotion so foreign to me. It was then I heard a soft humming sound. It was almost too comforting for this situation.
I looked towards her again.
My fingers twirled as I tied my long hair back. She had black-raven hair with big chocolate eyes. She stood out from the rest because she didn't look like one of the villagers by her odd clothing. I never have seen such style before. I concluded that she had to be an outsider. From where, I don't know. But why… what possessed her to stick around and help these unfortunate people?
I carefully observed this woman as she passed to each wounded villager, lending a warm, comforting smile and a friendly chat. I watched her clean villager's wounds and patch them up delicately, as if they were some porcelain doll. She offered these hapless people food, water, clothing and even some sort of portable shelter. As she did many good deeds, I couldn't stop staring at her, analyzing her.
She reminded me of raw innocence, I realized. She was also very amiable. Her niceness was genuine. She also had this air around her—this infinite love and kindness radiated off of her effortlessly. Plus, she was a pretty thing to look at.
For a long moment, she became my fixation. I knew something was wrong.
While she applied some ointment on an old man's arm, I could tell she was hiding something. The way she uncertainly covered the man's limb worried me. But my feeling was justified when she turned to the side and I saw a bandage on the right side of her cheek. She was wounded… just like me… However, I had a stronger feeling that her clumsiness and lack of concentration was a result of something else; it couldn't be just the wound.
I didn't know if it was the way her eye glistened from some sort of pain that she was trying to hide. I didn't know if it was the way how she would subtly flinch at odd moments. I didn't know if it was the way how she staggered to one person to another… as if she lost something—or was losing it.
I frowned and told myself not to get myself involved. Still, I couldn't resist grabbing on her thin wrist as she passed by.
She stopped and turned to face me. With a weary smile she apologized. "I'm sorry. Do you need any help?" I knew she was talking about my wounds. A short spear had lodged itself in my right chest, barely missing the soft tissue of my breast. I snapped it out effortlessly. I could feel dry blood on my lips. I wasn't in bad shape. How I got hurt, I don't really remember. But I knew the coppery stench of blood around me wasn't all from my body.
I shook my head slowly. "I'm a youkai." I stopped to read her face. I was surprised to find that it was passive, as if it really didn't matter what race I was.
"Oh," she whispered softly.
I let go of her wrist and looked around the area once again. "You're alone?"
"Sort of." The waver in her voice concerned me a bit.
"Will you sing me a song?" I didn't know why I acted on impulse. The way she looked at me made me feel a bit stupid, but I heard her hum earlier and from what I could tell, she could probably sing well.
However, she declined. "Sorry. I can't sing." I gazed up at her. It was probably just the wrong time or mood. I didn't give up yet.
"Can you tell me a story—or talk with me?" Already I half-trusted her. It was because she was so innocent and I was so lonely. She just seemed so friendly that even me…a youkai… could have fallen in her trap.
She smiled, welcoming to rectify my void of loneliness. She nodded, sitting down beside me. She looked at two specific places on my body with sudden awareness and suddenly snapped her eyes shut before opening them. Then she sighed before beginning to speak.
"Okay I got one." She made a forced, dry smile. "Once, a long time ago, there was a boy and a girl. They fell in love and planned to live happily ever after until someone came along and caused them to betray one another. They went their separate ways until another girl came into the scene and unbeknownst to the heartbroken guy this new girl fell in love with him. Why wouldn't she? This man—though he acts like a child most of the time—is brave, cute, strong, and had always protected her. Soon their story became a love triangle because the first girl returned. The guy still loves the first girl, the second girl loves the guy and the first girl… well I don't fully know her intentions, but it seems like she hates her ex-uhh—boyfriend." As every sentenced passed, her voice became softer, tortured, and a bit bitter.
What was a boyfriend? I asked her.
She bit down on her lower lip. "Like a lover…"
I nodded. "That man sounds stupid."
She looked at me carefully. "Why?"
"It's not very smart to go after someone who hates you."
She weakly smiled. "I know."
"Is there a happy ending?"
She shook her head almost regretfully, weakly. "No… maybe… there's no absolute ending yet."
"Well for what it's worth I think the second girl shouldn't give up on him. There's probably a good reason why she fell for him in the first place. Love isn't just something useless to throw away. Even I know that."
She made a relieved smile and nodded at me. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Have the girl tried to let go? Move on?"
She looked down at her laced fingers and made a small smile at my sentimental words. "Why? You really think that I—er—she should try to move on?"
I smiled at her sagely. "Is it worth it to forget and live without him?"
She looked at me for a brief moment before shaking her head softly. I could see it in her eyes that I was right. I may be a demon, but I knew a few things about love.
"Fight for it before giving up."
She agreed.
Silence followed. It seemed fitting.
Then the young woman broke it. "What happened to you?"
I turned my gaze elsewhere when I tried to answer that. I wasn't angry at her for asking because I heard no hint of sarcasm in it. It was concern…just pure concern that had somehow comforted me and made me like her better. "I'm on a mission… I guess you can say that something went wrong." I noticed her eyebrows cocked up in interest.
"What is it?"
I crossed my arms and placed them under my breasts, silently looking down. "To kill Inuyasha."
Her emotions shifted. The frozen look in her eyes told me that she was alarmed. For whom, I wasn't sure.
"Are you s-strong enough?" she stammered. Above all, she looked shocked.
I didn't expect that. "I'm a youkai." Apparently, my statement didn't satisfy her. I swallowed hard and sat still…then her eyes softened from realization. She knew that I had two shikon shards beneath of my flesh. I didn't know how she could tell—but by her face expression, and where she was looking, it became so obvious.
She reached out to one while I pulled away. Innocently I watched her ask, "You honestly believe that this can kill him?" I noticed how that came out so…cocky. I couldn't find the right word to explain it. But I did notice her silvery necklace that contained the plum-wine coloured gem. In a matter of moments she became more interesting. She had a shikon shard? But the most puzzling thing about it was the necklace that she was wearing. The colour…the scent… it was all too familiar.
Instead of dwelling on it, I smirked at her. "Yes. Inuyasha will pay and I will get my revenge."
"What did he do?" She became his advocate for a short moment.
I bit on the inside of my lip before I responded coldly. "He murdered my mate." I wondered if she could understand what a mate means to my race, my type of demon.
She looked on the ground then back at me weakly. Exhaustion and fatigue was so evident that it hurt to look at her. She shook it off and we began chatting about other things. After God knows how long a cry—a strangled yell—was heard.
"Kagome!" It echoed through the area like soft thunder.
By her reaction—the way her head snapped in the direction of the speaker—she was Kagome.
I turned my head to the side to see who it was. Surprise surprise. It was Inuyasha. Instinctively I gripped onto my sword lying beside me but for some reason I held back because Kagome, the female that I so easily opened up to, got up and began walking towards him.
Her pace was slow, hesitant. She stopped a safe distance away from him looking not-so-happy and distrustful. The yellow-eyed hanyou stared back at Kagome, approaching her with a frown. Why did I think that they were going to fight?
"Stop," she whispered.
He looked puzzled but disobeyed. I noticed how he staggered to her…as if he was wounded. Humph, that'd be in my favour. But I froze, shocked, when I saw him open his arms. I wasn't sure for what.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," he whispered to her.
My eyes widened. Did I just hear Inuyasha apologize?
"I'm sorry," he repeated with a louder voice.
She didn't move from her spot nor break her stare from him. "How's Kikyou doing?" she asked with a forced syrupy smile. It was messy.
"She's…" He didn't complete his sentence.
"Didn't you go to see her? I mean, you did ditch me, even when Sango and Miroku were gone—" she halted when her eyes caught onto a little demon child running towards Inuyasha. Was it their child? I wondered.
"Inuyasha! You jerk! Idiot!" The little fox demon—which surely wasn't their child—jumped on the tall man. Inuyasha caught him with one hand and held him up in the air before letting go. Gravity caused the child to fall to the ground with a thud.
Kagome picked him up and gave Inuyasha a cold glare. She was about to turn around until a rush of wind passed, blowing her hair away from her face. Inuyasha saw the cloth on her face… and from where I sat I saw it peel down a bit. It hadn't fully dried yet.
His golden eyes widened. He reached out to her wound on her face. "What happened to you?" I heard him say in a soft voice. Thank goodness my hearing was good.
She looked down. "If you were here then you would know what happened."
My eyes widened. I would have never guess that she would be so bitter, but the way that Inuyasha flinched back in pain had comforted me in some sadistic way.
"I said I'm sorry," he yelled-whispered. He tried to contain himself.
She couldn't fight the tears any longer. I watched her collapse so easily to the ground. The little fox demon was at her side clinging to her arm. Inuyasha sort of softened and kneeled in front of her. He reached out hesitantly; I was surprised when he comforted Kagome. I carefully observed his eyes that held remorse and concern for this female. With the way that he stroked her hair and how she cried into his chest, I understood the situation well. The story she told me earlier was of her, him and another woman.
Damn.
Knowing this made my goal more difficult to achieve.
I couldn't stop staring how she clung onto Inuyasha as if he was her only life support. It was sickening how he would just sit there like some sort of saint, allowing her to cry silently. I could barely hear her say, "I thought you left me forever—"
He interrupted. "Don't be stupid. I would never leave you forever. I know that you'll be by my side forever and I should have been there when you got attacked—my stupid promise was—"
She silenced him with her slender finger. She forgave him. Just like that. How? Why? He let her down and that's it? Was it his somber, sad voice that he used? Was it his comforting arms? What was it? It amazed yet puzzled me so much.
And the little fox demon didn't look any happier.
I remembered that I was supposed to kill him. But if I did… then she would be alone. She loved him. I couldn't let what happened to me happen to her.
I hate Inuyasha… sang inside my head. But I don't want to hurt Kagome…
Was it possible for me to let go, forgive and forget, and move on?
I groaned, lying back. Why did she have to love him? Why?
I shook me head. I had to formulate a solution.
Hesitantly I got up and walked behind Kagome. I ignored their moment and cleared my throat. When she looked at me I dug my nails into my flesh, stopping myself to scream from the pain. After a moment a shikon shard came out and rested between my fingers. I dropped it. Slowly again I reached in my other arm to retrieve the other shikon shard that had granted me power. This time, I hesitated. I took a good moment to stare at this hanyou and human girl. Up close I noticed the love—well fondness—that Inuyasha had for Kagome sparkling in his golden eyes. Up close I noticed the way that they both regained strength in each other's company. Up close I noticed how much they—silently I gave up looking for excuses. It was futile. I gave her the shikon shard.
"I'm going to move on," I told her. She looked relieved. Then my eyes strayed to Inuyasha and I spoke confidently, "You should too."
He looked confused, and I chose not to explain and elaborate. Hopefully, one day, he would understand.
From there I strolled out of the dead village, whispering something to myself over and over again.
Maybe Inuyasha wasn't such a bad guy. Maybe someone else slew my mate. After all Kagome loved that hanyou. Would she if he was a murderer? Just reading her like a book—a kind, innocent book—I guess not.
I took my final look on Kagome and then Inuyasha from a far. Like I thought from before, I knew something was wrong with Kagome.
She was in love and was missing him.
I took a deep breath out.
I know how precious love is. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. I wouldn't deprive such a thing from her. Why should another suffer like I did? Killing Inuyasha won't bring my mate back. Plus, I like Kagome. I want her to be happy like how I was. So there was nothing else to do but to try to deal with it. It won't be easy, but it was critical.
Fifteen minutes passed and I got tired from repeating this word to myself. I said it one last time and made a relieved smile.
"Move on."
After reading this so many times, there are many things wrong with it plot wise (I'm sure there are grammar mistakes in it still). It takes place after episode 48, obviously, but since Kagome has her shards back (remember Kikyou took it from her and gave it to Naraku), it doesn't really fit anywhere. FYI, Kagome had to have the necklace with at least one shard in order for the demon to know that she was the right woman to give the shards too. Call it the ten minute episode that never 'made' it in the show, excluding that there is a manga that the show follows.
So anyways, if you made it down here, thanks for reading, and review. Please. Thanks again.
.:. Goku's Daughter .:.
Kiss kiss