Just to clarify so no one get's mad at me; this is a SPOILER FIC with spoilers for season 2, so if you don't want to be spoiled stop reading right now!
This is my first ever publsihed fanfic, so bare with me! I used the spoiler about Chuck thinking he killed his mom! I think it'll be an interesting story line but I just hope the righters know what their doing! This story doesn't really focus on the reason why Chuck thinks he killed her (the reason I came up with is pretty lame, I admit) since I wanted to focus on what such a story line could do for Chuck and Blair! I'm not sure if it's well written (I'm danish so there might be some grammer problems) or if C or B are out of character, but please let me know if you have any thoughts... R&R!! Enjoy:0)
Stay
She wasn't completely sure if this was such a good idea. When she left Serena's house earlier she couldn't see any other way but now, standing in front of his suit she hesitated. For God's sake, they hadn't even had one civil conversation since he'd stood her up almost three month ago, how was she supposed to do this?
Just waltz in on him and ask if it was true? "Hey Bass, just heard this crazy story about you, care to share?" Who was she kidding? She knew it wasn't going to be that easy, after all nothing ever was when it came to Chuck, but she just had to find out if what Dan had said was true. Sure she was still mad at him, but she was willing to let it go, for now at least. She might be a bitch but she did have a heart. She sighed still staring at the door.
Why was this so hard all of the sudden? Hell, he might not even be in there! In fact, the chance of him actually being home on a Saturday night was probably slim. A bit more confident at the thought that he probably wasn't going to open, she raised her hand and knocked. Nothing happened. She waited for a few seconds, then she knocked again, harder this time, but no one came to open. She felt relieved. How stupid was that! She had come over here determined to find out the truth yet now all she wanted to do was go back home and pretend that Dan had never said anything.
But she didn't move. She couldn't. "Dammit!" She swore under her breath. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated with them? She tried to figure out what to do now. She could go look for him, but such a quest seemed rather impossible at the moment. He could be anywhere… Well not anywhere, she thought, she was pretty sure she wasn't going to find him in Brooklyn, but she still wouldn't know where to begin! And what was the point of finding him anyway, he was probably too drunk to understand what she wanted. Oh would you just stop staring at the damn door, she thought to herself, it's not like it's gonna magically pop open anyway. She turned around. The only reasonable thing to do was to go back home. It was getting late anyway and if she started looking for him now Dorota would get worried. She felt herself relaxing and started walking back towards the elevator.
But she had even walked two steps before an unmistakable ring reached her ears; she stopped feeling her heart pound hard in her chest when he stepped out and started walking towards her, hands in his pockets. He didn't see her at first, but when he did he stopped, looking slightly confused before saying her name. "Waldorf?" and to what do I owe the pleasure" he smirked, though not with his same level of sleazy confidence. "I..." She stammered, feeling completely stupid, but he'd caught her off guard, just as she had thought she wasn't going to have this unpleasant conversation tonight. "I need to talk to you" She pulled herself together and looked him in the eyes. He raised his eyebrows questioningly "about what?" He sounded just a bit suspicious. "Can I come in?" There was no way she was telling him what she'd heard in the middle of a hallway.
He still looked puzzled, as if he didn't believe she would actually be here voluntarily. She couldn't exactly blame him, she had quite obviously been avoiding him over the summer, making sure that he'd never had a chance to talk to her alone, and here she was, out side his room asking to come inside! He went to open the door and Blair followed him in, praying that he couldn't hear her heart beating a hundred miles an hour. "So?" He turned around, and looked at her intensely.
He hadn't been alone with her in what seemed like forever and he had a feeling that this visit wasn't going to be very pleasant. She looked as beautiful as ever but he could tell something was bothering her. Cabbage Patch had obviously spilled the beans; it was the only thing which could explain her presence. Not that he was surprised. How did he ever end up telling Humphrey his darkest secret? For some reason Dan had taken an interest in him and had started following him around. Chuck had found it rather amusing and had tried to get him drunk one night, something he succeeded in quite well.
Of course he hadn't held back either and had ended up rather pissed himself, but that was hardly news. The problem was the drunken version of Humphrey complained and wined even more than the sober one and after having listened to him going on and on about how hard his life was and how "you UES kids get everything you want" Chuck had about had enough. He told Dan that he didn't know the first thing about growing up on the UES and when he wouldn't believe him, he dropped the bomb. "Well, how about this; I killed my mum!" he had said in a final attempt to make him shut up, and he succeeded.
Dan just stared at him waiting for the punch line, "because this was obviously a joke." "I'm kidding Humphrey! Jeez man, don't take everything so seriously?" but he never said it. Instead he got down from the bar stool and stumbled out of the bar. At the moment he didn't realise the full impact of what he'd just said, he was just pleased with the look of shock he'd planted on Humphreys face!
The next morning, however, he didn't find it quite as amusing, he'd promised himself never to drink again (Yeah right! Like that's going to happen) and he prayed (or hoped, since he didn't really pray) that Dan had been so drunk that he wouldn't be able to remember anything. But the evidence that he did remember was standing right in front of him: Blair Waldorf, standing in his suit, and for once, apparently speechless.
Blair had no idea how to begin, she didn't even know what to do with herself, and apparently Chuck wasn't going to help her. He had turned his attention to the bar and was pouring himself a glass of scotch. "Want some?" he asked. She considered it for a second but decided against it. Alcohol might help calm her nerves, but chances were it would also make her loose focus and she didn't need that right now. She just didn't trust herself around him.
She observed him quietly. He had to know why she was here, right? He was smart, at least when he wanted to be and why else would she be here. Unless, of course, he didn't remember telling Dan anything, in which case Blair's mission didn't get any easier.
He didn't give anything away. If he did know why she was here, he was doing a hell of a job hiding it! He sat down on the couch. "So," he began. "I assume there is some reason for your visit, Waldorf. Finding that boy-toy of yours… lacking? He asked, smirking. "I'm game if you are Waldorf". He padded the spot next to him on the couch. His rude comments almost made her forget how nervous she was. "This is not a booty call, Bass" She clarified, in a slightly disgusted tone "And he is not a boy-toy… I came here to talk!"
"Then talk" he said coldly. She sighed and sat down on the other end of the couch. She might as well get it out there in the open. "I talked to Humphrey today." She said, a bit more rushed than she'd aimed for. She hoped her statement would bring out some kind of reaction, but it didn't. "What?" He asked when she didn't continue. "'you expect an applause for taking time out of your busy schedule to mingle with the lower classes?" She felt herself getting angrier.
She didn't come all the way over here just so he could mock her. But she knew what he was doing, trying to piss her off so she would leave. He was probably dreading the conversation they where bound to have even more then her. "He told me something… well something quite disturbing, to be frank" She continued, keeping her anger in check. She tried to read him, but his face was completely without expression. She thought she saw something in his eyes, though. Fear? She couldn't tell and his voice didn't give him away. "I doubt that Brooklyn could have said anything of my interest."
He said, sounding bored, but then he let out a barely noticeable sigh; "Get to the point, Blair" he said, sounding immensely tired all of the sudden. She felt a small jolt in her stomach when he used her first name. It somehow made it sound more sincere, and it made her certain that he did now why she was there. It sounded like he knew she wasn't going to give up, and that he, not being able to avoid it completely, at least wanted it to be quick. She looked at him, realising that this was probably the biggest opening he'd ever give her. He would never give anything away. He would never let himself be that vulnerable. He wasn't going to take the first step, she would have to do the job and tell him what she knew otherwise she would never know the truth.
She shifted uncomfortably. She didn't want to drag it out anymore and thinking that she might be able to shake him by being blunt she said, as calm as she could: "You think you killed your mum?" It was more a statement than a question. She looked at him having absolutely no idea how he would react. It freaked her out! She never liked to feel unprepared. He wasn't looking at her, but all the sudden he turned his head and looked her straight in the eyes. "So what?" he asked. "So what?" She felt the anger rising again. He knew how hard it was for her to be here and all he could say was "so what?"
All off the sudden she didn't feel nervous anymore. She knew him, and this game he always played, hiding from everyone. But not from her! Oh no, not if she could help it. "Chuck", she said keeping her voice calm. "I know what happened back then… your mum… she fell down the stairs and broke her neck!" She knew she sounded harsh but being blunt was the only thing she could imagine working, and he definitely didn't expect it from her.
She caught him looking shocked for just about a second before he turned his attention to the scotch in his hand. "How on earth could you ever think that that had something to do with you?" She asked, exasperated. It was the truth. She really didn't see how, it's not like he pushed her, she knew that much, he hadn't even seen her fall. Of course that could have been a cover up… maybe he accidentally… She never got to finish the disturbing thought because this time he did react.
"Just stop it, Blair. I don't want to talk about it!" This time he wasn't trying to hide the sadness in his voice, and once again the use of her first name made her stomach do an unpleasant somersault. Get a grip! She thought! "Well, I want to talk about it, Chuck! I'm not leaving until you tell me why you've created such a ridiculous theory. You were 9 years old, and it was an accident." She really didn't mean for everything to sound so… well, so insensitive, but she was getting angrier by the minute, plus she was hoping she could provoke him into telling her something and even if he still wasn't talking he was definitely getting pissed!
"This is absolutely none of your business, Waldorf, and if your not leaving… well, suit yourself! You're welcome to join me in bed" he said, though he sounded more pissed than seductive. "Get real!" She snapped. She was beginning to regret that she came. This was clearly headed no where, but she wasn't ready to leave, no matter how angry she felt she still couldn't help but feel almost nauseous at the thought of Chuck growing up thinking he killed his own mother.
How disturbed was that! She was not going to give up, no matter how impossible he was. "Why the hell did you tell Dan if you're so desperate not to talk about it, then?" she asked, changing the subject slightly although this was another thing she couldn't get her head around. "Trust me, it wasn't on purpose" he sneered, refusing to look at her.
This was harder than he thought. She knew him too well, and he had a feeling she wasn't going to give up until he told her the truth. But the last thing he wanted was her pity! He didn't need for anyone to feel sorry for him, he was doing just fine. That is until he was taken aback by something brushing against his arm. Her hand! She had obviously changed tactics! He was turning away from her and hadn't seen her coming, but here she was, resting her hand lightly on his forearm and now she was positioning herself right in front of him. She was too close; he could smell her and his heart started racing. He was afraid to look her in the eyes, he never trusted himself around her, but her gaze was strong and he had to return it. "Look," she began. He couldn't break away now, it was too late. "I have no idea how to handle this"
She had decided to try something else; making him feel sorry for her. According to what Nate had told her again and again over the summer, he still cared about her, and even though she really didn't want to be vulnerable in his presence, she was so desperate to get him talking, she had to try and make him see what this was doing to her. "It's freaking me out, because I thought I knew you! I'm… I'm worried about you!" She let the hand that was resting on his arm slide down to take hold of his hand, still looking into his eyes. He didn't blink. All of the sudden she became aware of how close they where and how attracted to him she still was. She had been so pissed at him over the summer that she had completely forgotten the effect he had on her.
She felt her knees shake a bit and had to concentrate all her will power to keep her gaze. She almost breathed a sigh of relieve when he finally looked away. He shook her hand off and walked to the couch, sat down on the armrest, still facing her. "What do you need to know?" He asked calmly, looking straight at her. She took a few steps towards him, and crossed her arms. "Why do you think you're responsible?" "I don't think I know!" he said, he still wanted to be in control. "Fine! Why are you responsible" she asked in a sarcastic tone. He shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets.
"That day…" He began, clearly struggling to find the words. "Well, you know she was… "He paused, "like your mum I guess… didn't really have time" "Time?" "Yeah, for me" She almost wanted him to stop talking, she could tell he didn't want to get into this. "None of our parents did" she said, not finding it very relevant. "I wanted her to play with me that day, so I begged and begged until she went upstairs with me, but she left her phone downstairs…" Blair wasn't sure were this was going… It was strange hearing him talk like that. Everybody knew about his mother.
It had all been laid out pretty clear by Bart, she ran down the stairs and stumbled. That was it; a tragic accident. He continued: "Of course her phone had to ring 5 minutes later and she had to rush down to get it and then… well, you know the rest. If I hadn't made her come upstairs with me… she wouldn't have… " Blair felt an immediate urge to say "That's it?!" but she didn't. He had never opened up to her like this and she didn't want to make him feel stupid, but she couldn't help but feel immensely relieved and before she knew it she was smiling.
"What's so funny?" he asked sounding both a bit hurt and surprised at the same time. "Nothing!" she said, quickly putting on a more suiting expression. "It's just… Chuck, that's not your fault!" she said, taking a step towards him, but he quickly moved away from her. "Don't give me that! He snapped, clearly angry. "I don't need you to tell me anything. You got your answer, you can leave now" he said, gesturing towards the door.
"Oh, I'm not going anywhere! This is ridiculous. Chuck, she thought a stupid phone call was more important than her son! She chose to run down those stairs, hell, she was the one who left the phone downstairs in the first place" She wanted him so bad to see it the way she was seeing it, but she knew too well that it wasn't that easy. When her dad had left she'd been convinced it was her fault, that she wasn't good enough.
Where Chuck had apparently started his drinking Blair had, as she had done for many years, turned to the only solution she could think of when things wasn't going her way; forcing her stomach to empty itself. But she didn't want to think about her own problems now; she just needed him to stop torturing himself. He was staring at her, apparently speechless. "You don't know what it's like…" he trailed of. For the first time ever, Blair saw him looking completely defeated. There were no sign of tears, but he looked… She couldn't even describe how he looked.
The anger form before evaporated and before she had time to think about what she was doing, she had walked up to him and had thrown her hands around his neck, pressing her body against his, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. He hesitated for a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around her waist hugging her tighter than he'd ever done before. They stood like that for a long time, breathing against each other.
She really had missed him; his smell, his arms holding her. She felt so safe, so comfortable. He was the first to loosen his grip. She lifted her head and looked at him. "It's not your fault" She couldn't read him. He didn't move and he kept his eyes locked on hers but he didn't speak. "It's not your fault!" she repeated only whispering this time. And then she saw it, a small flicker of hope playing in his eyes and she knew that he believed her. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked him, lowering her eyes. "No" he whispered back. She looked up again, a smile playing on her lips. He reached up both his hands and cupped her face, leaning his forehead against hers. "No, stay"