Title: it's such a feeling
Rating: K
Characters/Pairings: Tawnypelt, Stormfur, Brook; very strained Stormfur/Tawnypelt, Brook/Stormfur.
Summary: When Tawnypelt sees Stormfur, sitting alone in the back of the Gathering crowd, the first full moon since his return to the Clans, she can't help but feel her heart skip.
Authors Note: I love this pairing :D Title from "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles.
When Tawnypelt sees Stormfur, sitting alone in the back of the Gathering crowd, the first full moon since his return to the Clans, she can't help but feel her heart skip.
It's stupid really; she's always told herself that her crush, or whatever it was, for the tom was dumb and foolish. She saw the way that forbidden romances tore through the Clans, the consequences that they brought to the cats who engaged in them. So why, great StarClan why, would she ever feel something for him?
(She knows the answer, deep down; it's probably the way that he makes her feel like she's being noticed without ever saying her name. It could be how his amber eyes glow with kindness and respect, even if the cat he's looking at doesn't deserve that level politeness. Maybe it was how his voice would catch – just a tiny hitch of his breath – whenever he said her name.)
Her life has been a challenge, in every sense of the word. It starts out as her having to live her first portion of life underneath the looming shadow of her father, with suspicious and angry glares cast her way. Then, go a little further into the present, she leaves her birth Clan and her mother and brother in order to join her father, in hopes of becoming something. And, finally, she left her new Clan for a while in order to find a new home for them all.
In short, nothing has ever been easy for Tawnypelt.
Despite the small, insignificant reasons that Tawnypelt thinks is some of the reasons she finds herself flushing in Stormfur's presence, she knows that the main reason she fell for him was because he gets her. Maybe even better than Brambleclaw (which is really saying something).
Stormfur understands what being an outcast is like. His whole life, he's been one; from being a half-Clan cat, to living in the Tribe for some moons, and now coming back, living in a changed society with a foreign she-cat.
The thought of Brook makes her duck her head from her staring at the tom (okay, that sounded a lot more creepy than it actually was), and glare down at her paws, forcing away the anger that bubbles inside her stomach.
She doesn't hate Brook. It's hard too; there's that stupid innocent air that hangs around the Tribe cat that makes it almost impossible. Jealous is close, but she thinks that envious is correct.
She's so envious of their relationship, because she can't help but feel so upset and hopeless when she faces the prospect that she may never have a tom who would risk so much, who would leave so much behind because of his feelings for her. And it doesn't help that the tom who's done all of that for Brook is the same tom who Tawnypelt is sure she has a very strong crush on, so.
"Tawnypelt?"
When he says her name, the warm and surprised tone a stark contrast from the murmurs around her, Tawnypelt's ears prick up in surprise.
She blinks over at him, relishing in the fact that there wasn't really a height difference between them. It was a weird thing to notice, she'll admit, but she's been noticing a lot lately.
(Like the way that Hawkfrost's eyes narrow in a cold, frightening emotion when Brook and Stormfur pad past him. Like the way that Ashfur sends a small glance in Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight's direction.)
He smiles at her, a kind and genuine smile that she's so deprived of. "I kind of saw you looking at me out of the corner of my eye," he tells her, not unkindly. She can hardly contain her widening gaze and the way her shoulders sag. "You never came over to say hello."
It's the way he says it, that's the thing. Like he's honestly upset and saddened that she didn't come over – which is understandable on his behalf. They maintained an easy and comfortable friendship over the course of the Great Journey (the word 'friendship' makes her heart ache a little because of how much she'd love for it to be something more).
But she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she hears a little bit more than "just upset". Maybe-
"I wasn't trying to be creepy," she replies quickly, frowning. "I just...we haven't talked in a long time, you know? Not ever since you left." And, foxdung, that definitely wasn't the right wording.
Stormfur just frowns slightly; his eyes dip downwards at her chest for a moment, before he meets contact once again. "It's not like I'm going to hop into ShadowClan anytime soon." He states jokingly. Tawnypelt feels even worse then she did previously when she hears his mask of hurt.
She gulps, wishing that this conversation wasn't so awkward. "We've got the Gatherings, at least," she murmurs, forcing a tight smile on her lips. "I've missed you." It slips out before she can stop it, and Tawnypelt blinks when she sees his amber gaze widen slightly, meeting hers with such an intensity that it makes her head dizzy.
He stares at her for just a few, precious seconds, his eyes searching her own. "I...I missed you too," he says, and it's completely sincere.
You did? She thinks, her ear twitching.
"Of course I did!" Stormfur says defensively, and Tawnypelt almost growls when she realizes that she said it aloud. "You can't really believe that I think our relationship doesn't mean something."
It's silent between them for a few moments after that, and Tawnypelt is actually grateful for the pause in conversation so that she can process what she just heard.
Maybe he thinks that...could he actually... A million questions flicker through her mind, all asking the same question, basically: did Stormfur feel the same way about her? Could they-
(She knows the answer to that question before she thinks it through. No, they could never be anything. He was from RiverClan, she was from ShadowClan, and even if she wanted too, there was Brook to think about – oh no, Brook.)
Tawnypelt clears her throat, and pushes back all of her insecurities, and the small nugget of guilt in her belly. "Good," she tells him, a small smile on her face. "I didn't want this to be a one-sided relationship."
Stormfur's gaze burns into her own, making her heart thud even more in her chest. He stares for a few moments, before breaking the contact, looking off to the side and smiling. He looks back at her, moving just a little closer, and Tawnypelt thinks that she can see something pass in his gaze.
"I really did miss you, you know," he tells her quietly. "Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight are two of my closest friends, but leaving you behind felt...different." He shrugs. "It was harder."
Tawnypelt gasps quietly, and looks down at her paws. She bites her bottom lip, and shakes her head. Despite what she felt for him, and what he may feel for her, Brook was still her friend. And this conversation...it wasn't staying in a platonic zone.
"I'm glad that you missed me," she tells him, looking back up. She almost leaps back in shock when she notices how much closer he's gotten to her.
Stormfur smiles, and it almost makes her paws buckle underneath her. Am I really in this deep? She thinks, holding off a frown.
Before he can say anything more, a voice, foreign and strange to her ears still, cuts him off, happy and excited.
"Tawnypelt! It's been a long time!"
She forces a smile on her face when she sees Brook, sighing when the she-cat bombards her with a nuzzle of her face against her shoulder. Brook never did learn about personal boundaries as a kit, it seems.
"Yeah," she meows, turning her face away from Brook to look back at Stormfur. "It really has."
He blinks, eyes burning with an emotion that she can't quite place. Honestly, she's not sure if she even wants to at this point.
Brook beams at her, gray eyes lit with only kindness. It only makes Tawnypelt feel guiltier at how oblivious she is about Stormfur and her.
"We have to get going, Stormfur," Brook meows, turning to her mate and purring. "The Gathering could start soon, and I want to get a nice seat."
Tawnypelt blinks, and nods. "It was nice seeing you two again," she says, twitching her whiskers. "I hope to talk to you guys again at the next Gathering."
At that, she leaves, and she doesn't turn back.
It'll hurt too much, anyway.