Author's Note: Hey folks! Long time no see! I know it's been a long while since I uploaded here, but I've had a lot of big things happen in my life (mostly good) and my interests have changed over time. However for those of you still interested in my older stories, I am still working on improving/finishing those, so stay tuned. In the meantime, please enjoy this rather odd Star Wars fanfic of mine starring two of my favorite characters in the Galaxy. See ya! (P.S., please forgive me of any inaccuracies.)
The once-still, bug-chirping waning day hours of a small unoccupied swamp planet was interrupted by the booming sound of a panicked Sheathipede-class shuttle breaking the sound barrier and crash-landing through the thick brush, narrowly avoiding many of the thick-trunked trees. The small insect-like ship slid to a stop partially on its side in the thick sepia mud; after a moment of settling, the four claw-foot landing gear of the ship came down (though proved useless in the soft soil), and as the ship sunk many inches on its side before the doors to the ship opened up, and the only two occupants of the ship nervously appeared.
"Oh no, t'is is not good." Rune Haako muttered with a look of absolute pessimism.
Looking out, Nute Gunray's attitude wasn't much better. "Oh, for the love of the Monarch…"
Nute Gunray and Rune Haako, Trade Federation Viceroy and Legal Cohorta/Trade Federation Lieutenant respectively, stood together on the metal ramp at a slight angle; already the two started to sweat not just from their predicament but from their heavy fancy robes not serving them well in the warm humidity. Their large well-developed Neimoidian heads were also heating up from the large flashy Viceroy Tiara and Attorney's Cowl. The two Insectoids just stood there, dazed from their crash landing and rising anxieties from this new situation.
"It's too bad the legs could not keep our ship stable in all t'is mud." Haako sighed as he let his hand fall to his side at the sight of their expensive shuttle sinking in the quagmire.
"Well, t'at is no surprise; t'is ship's legs were not made for t'is kind of poor soil." Gunray grumbled, indicating his ship's original purpose of not landing on lower class or impoverished places, where no self-respecting Neimoidian would want to do business.
After taking a moment to gaze around the dark, thick swamps that surrounded them, Rune Haako nervously turned to his superior and asked, "… W-what shall we do now, Viceroy?"
Gunray's lowered brow rose into a nervous frown as he surveyed the surrounding land. He thought hard, and came up with, "Well… maybe t'ere is a village of some kind t'at perhaps we could walk to for service."
"Service?" Rune repeated in disbelief. "On t'is planet?
Gunray looked back at Haako with his thick brow back down in a grumpy glare. "Do you have any better ideas?"
Rune looked down and meekly shook his head.
Gunray cautiously walked down the thin metal ramp, took off his nice business shoes and threw them back into the ship before setting his two-toed bird-like feet into the muck; luckily, Neimoidians had adapted stouter, wider-set toes for strolling through the rainforests and swamps of their own home planet. Gunray started down the shallow murky river of dark water as Rune held onto the door frame of the ship while struggled to take off his own shoes. Grimacing as he gingerly set his stretched toes into the mud to follow after his boss, Rune suddenly had a thought:
"Viceroy, wait!"
From a few yards away, Gunray looked back, irritated.
"Don't you t'ink we need to bring a we'pon? T'is planet could have dangerous beasts roaming around!"
Struggling to hold up his expensive robes from the deep mud, Nute called back, "Why didn't you t'ink of t'at before we got out here?"
"Well, I don't know! I was too busy worrying about t'eh ship!" Rune defended himself. "Just give me a second to go back and get one of our blaster rifles-"
"No!"
"Why?!"
"Because! You will track mud into my ship!" Gunray tilted his head and gave a baffled look in wonderment of why his officer would want to dirty up his beautiful shuttle.
"Sir! How can you t'ink of t'at when we could be eaten on t'is planet?!"
"How do you know we won't be eaten?" Gunray asked snidely. "For all we know, t'is planet could be deserted!"
Rune cocked his head and brow as he responded smartly. "Well, if you t'ink it's deserted, Sir, then what is the point of us treading out to look for a village?"
The Viceroy was well caught off guard by his attorney's logical observation; such attention to details and clever handling were part of what made Rune Haako such an ideal legal council and business negotiator. For a moment, Gunray struggled to come up with his own witty response, but when none came to him he did what he often did when faced with a strong threat: turned and retreated.
"W-wait, Viceroy!" Rune called to his leader as he struggled to catch up with him in the foot-deep mud.
After a few moments of quietly walking about a football field away from their ship, the two Neimoidians gazed around the impenetrable dark violet-colored trees with hanging vines and light insect and other animal sounds that surrounded them. This was certainly not too far away from how their own home world of Neimoidia or its purse worlds, but this small wet planet was unfamiliar.
At some point Rune turned to Nute and asked: "Sir, do you know what planet t'is is?"
Nute shook his head, the long hanging flaps of his Viceroy Tiara waved too. "No, I don't."
"Do you recall what the computer coordinants were before we crash landed?"
"T'ey said we were somewhere in the outer limits, intentionally far from where we were fleeing from. Ah' had originally set in to land on the smaller planet of Cora." Nute looked around nervously. "I have no idea what t'is planet is, but it sure doesn't look like Cora."
Haako sighed with exasperation.
Suddenly there was a noise some twenty feet away, and both Neimoidians froze in fear; their large eyes fixated their advanced Infrared Sight onto something warm blooded and big moving through the large trees and thick brush to the left of their path.
"W-w-what is t'at, Viceroy?!" Rune stammered nervously. But upon looking to his left and seeing he was talking to the air, he whirled around to see Gunray already taking off back to the ship; with the ends of his robes still held up in his large hands, Gunray looked like a fleeing woman who had just seen a rat crawl across her feet.
"Sir! Wait! What are you…?!" as he ran after him.
Calling back to his legal council, Gunray spouted through quickening breath: "I just remembered, Haako: self-pr'weservation comes before convenient service!"
The two businessmen managed to dart right back into their fallen Sheathipede shuttle, but due to the power being out were unable to close the ship's door. Gunray, completely forgetting his phobia of getting mud on his ship's floor, rushed to the front of the ship near the automatic pilot cabin, opened a hidden floorboard and pulled out a Neimoidian Ceremonial Blaster Rifle.
"Sir! What are you doing with t'at?!" Haako demanded upon seeing his boss running back with the long powerful rifle.
Completely ignoring Haako, Gunray ran to the back of the ship, stood at the open entrance, cocked the rifle and began to fire indiscriminately at the surrounding swamp.
BLAST! BLAST! BLAST!
"LEAVE! LEAVE US ALONE!" Gunray shouted at the unseen beast stalking them.
BLAST! BLAST! BLAST!
"Viceroy! Please!"
"Shut up, Haako! Get back inside the ship!"
Shaking with reluctance, Haako still meekly did as he was told; he ran back inside the shadowed ship and hid underneath an object until the gunfire stopped and the swamp forests seemed still once more.
Panting but satisfied, Gunray lowered his gun and straightened his hat; he was rather proud of himself for frightening off whatever that big thing was. Laying the rifle against the wall, the Viceroy took hold of the handles of the entrance doors.
"Haako, help me!"
Getting up, Haako again does as he was told; together, the two Neimoidians managed to manually pull the doors closed.
Going back to the spacious cabin area (crowded by half-a-ton of Gunray's expensive treasures and other valuables he made off with from their captured home world) and sitting down in their cushioned seats, they breathed a sigh of relief; but there was still the issue of being marooned on this off the trail swamp planet. Haako looked to his boss and asked: "Well… what should we do now, Viceroy?"
Gunray leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he replied, "Not much, I am afraid; during our descent I had the ship's autopilot send out a request call for us to be picked up, but considering how far out we ah'r, we may be stuck here for a very long time."
"Ugh." Was all Rune could say in his irritation as the last bit of the weak sunlight from outside died down, leaving the two Neimoidians in shadows.