It's been a few days since Third Impact, probably more. Asuka can't tell. The passage of time is shaky, and the sun comes and goes as it pleases. The moon is of little help; it hangs in the sky like a pendulum gone still, and sneaks across it when Asuka sleeps, so that when she opens her eye it's on the other side of the red streak staining the heavens and Asuka's none the wiser as to how it got there.
All this is irritating, at the least. Still, Asuka assumes it will become the new normal soon enough and she will adjust, or else she'll spend the rest of her life being driven insane by a dance of powers she can't control. Then again- and she brings her fingers to her damaged eye before jerking them away just as suddenly- perhaps that's all she's ever done.
Annoying as they are, celestial bodies are something Asuka can't do anything about. There's only one thing in this broken world she can influence, and that thing is sitting on the beach some distance away, staring out over the red sea like he has been for the last few days, or weeks, or whatever amount of time has passed. Asuka approaches him with some reluctance. Just looking at him threatens to make her sick; being near him reminds her of ghostly hands tightening around her throat and makes her bandaged arm ache.
"So," Asuka says as she draws within earshot. She stops several feet away, looking down with disdain at the huddled mess that was once called the Third Child. Now he doesn't respond to any name at all, not even Shinji. He doesn't look at Asuka; he never has, not since she ran a hand down the side of his face and drew tears that should've been hers, but leaked from his eyes. They both refuse to acknowledge that happening, but they both think of it when they see the other. To Asuka, it only makes her loathe him more. "Can't even look me in the eye after you try to kill me, can you?" she asks, more for her own sake than his. She knows he won't ever answer that, not even if he recovers. "Tell me, are you going to do anything other than sit there?"
The quiet hiss of sea spray is Shinji's reply. Asuka expected as much, but she can't help but grind the heel of her foot into the sand and clench her fists. "Pathetic," she spits. "You chose to bring everyone back, and then you sit here moping like a giant baby. You make me sick, you know that?" Asuka huffs sharply and storms past Shinji, kicking a spray of white in his direction as she passes. He doesn't react to the sand that stings his face, that lands in clumps on his shirt and hands. Nor does he look away from the sea, not even when Asuka is a speck at the opposite end of the beach, and certainly not when she vanishes from sight. To him, the world is the sea: red and empty, inhabited by ghosts, only one of which he is hoping will join him on the beach and make the world complete again.
Asuka walks until her legs are sore, and then she pushes herself further. The Third Child is the last person she wants to be around; unfortunately, he's also the only person around. Asuka grits her teeth and forces herself to move faster. Maybe if she walks far enough, the beach will yield to sea, and she can set up camp at the opposite end of the island.
Something shifts on the beach ahead, something white. For a moment, Asuka thinks it's the sand itself moving, and her senses scream Angel and she wants to freeze, or turn and run. Then the thing rises from the ground, flashing blue against the pale backdrop, and Asuka realizes it's a person. After all this time, someone else has returned from the sea. Wariness tempers her excitement, but she runs toward them nonetheless. Running with one eye covered makes her stumble more than usual, but she catches herself each time and continues on.
The figure gets to their feet as Asuka draws closer. Asuka watches them sway unsteadily, as if at any moment they'll tip over and burst into LCL and ooze back into the sea. She sprints the last few yards between them and comes to an abrupt stop, kicking up even more sand and nearly falling herself. Rei Ayanami stares at her from several feet away, garbed in her school uniform instead of her plugsuit, and Asuka's mind goes blank. This is the last person she expected to see return, except for perhaps her mother, and for a long minute all she can do is stare and gape, and work her jaw as if searching for words.
At last she manages to raise a hand and point it out towards the sea, where Lilith's head continues its painfully slow plunge into the depths. "What're you doing here?" she asks. Rei- if this is Rei- tilts her head to the side, her eyes inquisitive. "Aren't you supposed to be out there?"
Rei shakes her head and steps forward. Asuka stands her ground, though an imperceptible tremor passes through her and her hand falls limply to her side. "You needed someone," Rei says, and nothing more.
Asuka's mouth splits into a grin, nervous at first, but rapidly growing as she throws her head back and laughs, the sound high and strained and bordering on hysterical. "I need someone?" she asks. "I think the idiot I left behind needs someone more than I do. Damn, Wonder Girl. You came for the wrong person."
"I didn't," Rei replies, and Asuka's laughter dies just as quickly as it started. "Shinji already has someone." Asuka arches an eyebrow, and Rei shakes her head. "You wouldn't know him. You've never met him."
"If he likes Shinji, I don't think I want to," scoffs Asuka. Rei nods, but remains quiet. Typical Rei behavior. She continues to watch Asuka, eyes tracking every subtle shift of her shoulders, the way her good eye darts between the ruins of Toyko-3 and the beach ahead of her. At last, Asuka sighs loudly and waves a hand. "The idiot's down that way," she says, pointing back the way she came. "I'm leaving. Everything about this place makes me sick."
Asuka turns and stalks into the ruined city, slowly picking her way through the debris-cluttered streets. Rei follows her progress, a red speck against the dark outlines of concrete and iron. Asuka disappears behind a pile of concrete soon enough, and Rei looks around- at the beach, at the sky, at the Fortress City. After a moment, she begins to trail after Asuka, listening for the echo of footfalls against asphalt and the occasional welcome sound of Asuka's voice, swearing as she stumbles into one thing after another.
"Why do you keep following me?" Asuka asks after a long silence. Rei doesn't know quite how long, only that the moon has shifted and the sun is casting short shadows from its perch atop the world. She shrugs, having no answer. Asuka rolls her eye and stomps away, only to trip over a metal rod protruding from a broken piece of a building. She's back up before Rei can hurry over to help her up, but a minute later she's smacking into a low-hanging board and only Rei stops her from toppling back onto a mountain of debris. She catches Asuka by the arm, spinning her around, and reaches out. It takes Asuka a second to register that Rei is reaching for her eye patch. She lashes out, trying to slap Rei's hand away, but misses. She ducks her head, covering it with her other hand. "Go away!" she snaps.
Rei pauses, confusion clouding her features. "What's wrong?"
"Leave me alone," Asuka snarls.
"Your eye should be fine." Rei reaches for it again, only for Asuka to shy away. Her back brushes up against a wall, so she bares her teeth instead, hoping to stall Rei's advance. It works; Rei pauses and lowers her hand, but she shows no sign of abandoning her pursuit. "You're afraid," she says, and there's no room in her words for it to be a question. It's a statement of fact, and Asuka, with her hand clamped tightly over her eye, can't deny it. She can't admit it, either. To do so is to surrender the last shred of pride, of her identity, that she managed to carry out of the sea with her. Rei senses this, and seeks no such admission. "Can you trust me?" she asks.
Asuka shakes her head, and the sounds that leave her are softer and weaker than any that she's made before. "I'm tired of being hurt," she says. Rei sees her eye flit to the bandages winding around her arm, the way she hunches in on herself to protect her middle from an enemy that's long gone.
"I promise I don't mean to hurt you," Rei says.
"Will you?"
"No." Rei steps forward, waiting for Asuka's response. For a moment, she expects Asuka to try and threaten her away. But Asuka lowers her hand and lifts her head, and the one eye that Rei can see is brimming with a hesitant sort of fear. Still, she doesn't do anything, not even when Rei cradles her cheek in one hand and slowly peels back the gauze around her eye with the other. Rei is slow and methodical, and all too aware of Asuka watching her. At last she loosens the last strips of cloth and tugs on the eye patch, and Asuka tenses as cool air touches the skin of her covered eye for the first time since coming back from the ocean.
"What if I can't see?" Asuka whispers, not caring if Rei will hear her. It's a stupid worry; her arm is healed, so there's no reason her eye shouldn't be. Even so, the courage to open it is nowhere to be found, not until she feels Rei touch her face again. Rei covers the wounded eye with her palm, marveling at the way Asuka's skin flushes warm at her touch.
"Try it," Rei urges. Asuka shakes her head slightly, heart hammering a thousand miles an hour as it leaps from her chest into her throat. "Trust me."
"Promise you're not tricking me?"
"I promise."
Asuka hesitates, holding her breath. Rei moves to take her hand away, but Asuka grabs it, holding on to it with an urgency Rei's never felt before, not even from Commander Ikari. A long minute passes, and with every second more, Rei thinks Asuka's not going to do it; that she's going to demand her bandage back and run into the city, and Rei will never be able to find her again. But then Asuka lifts Rei's hand away from her face, and for a moment both blue eyes shine brilliantly in the sun, staring at Rei with a stunned sense of wonder. Then Asuka clamps both hands over her eye again, her breathing quickening.
"It's so bright," Asuka says, trying to keep her tone level despite the sharp pain in her head. Rei steps forward again, eye patch in hand, and Asuka's distantly aware of Rei moving her hands to the side and applying the gauze again. Her fingers brush gently against Asuka's skin, leaving only faint sensations to tell Asuka they were ever there. The eye patch is put back into place, and Asuka is about to set off again when Rei tugs on the ribbon around the neck of her school uniform and holds it up. She ties it over the eye patch, lifting Asuka's bangs to slip it around her forehead, and knots it neatly just below her neural clips.
"There," Rei says, and there's a satisfied note to her tone. Asuka lifts a hand to her eye again, tracing the outline of the ribbon, and Rei grabs her hand and pulls it away. "Don't touch it too much. Your eye is still sensitive to light. Just keep it on while it recovers."
"How do you expect me to see with only one eye?" Asuka counters before she can stop herself. If her petulance irritates Rei, there's no sign of it.
"I never said that," Rei says. Before Asuka can ask anything more, Rei takes her by the wrist and begins to walk forward, guiding them further into the ruins. Her touch is surprisingly warm, Asuka notes, and it is soft. Nothing like the hard precision she expected out of the one she once thought to be doll. That impression is fading as quickly as the noon sun. Touching the ribbon over her eye one last time, Asuka lets Rei pull her along, their measured footsteps ringing out over the city as the Second Child allows the First to lead her.
Once it's reached its peak and begins to fall, the sun disappears quickly. Rei seems to know this, even though it's her first day in the new world. She stops in the middle of a fairly intact intersection, where the only bits of rubble are large slabs that jut into the air like fangs. She stations Asuka under one of these slabs, instructing her to stay put.
"What if it collapses on me?" Asuka asks.
"It won't," is Rei's response. Asuka scoffs, but she says nothing more. Rei has yet to lead her astray. "I'm going to try and find supplies."
"And you expect me to stay here while you do all the work?"
"You can find something we can make a fire with. Just don't go too far. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
Asuka stares after Rei as she rounds the corner and disappears into the city. "Since when did you start caring?" she asks, before facing the other way and picking her way through the junk strewn on the street.
She's not sure if it's the sun moving quickly or time slipping by faster than usual, but all too soon the sun draws near the horizon and casts a fiery glow over the crumbling skyscraper tops. Asuka crouches in one of the longer shadows, furiously scraping one bit of salvaged wood against another longer plank. Her task consumes all her focus, and so she startles when Rei materializes at her side with several large pieces of wood.
"Hey," Asuka says, and then wonders why she said that. Rei's never been big on greetings. This time is no exception. Rei tilts her head, and Asuka bristles under her stare, at the feeling of being analyzed.
"What are you doing?" asks Rei.
"Making a fire. Duh," Asuka replies. She looks up in time just to see Rei's eyes narrow slightly. Before she can say anything else, Rei turns and walks back into the city without so much as a backward glance. "Nice going, Soryu," Asuka sighs, rubbing her eyes. "You've made her mad." Her words sound distant, even to herself. Their meaning dawns on her a moment later, stirring up a fury that drives Asuka to scrape the sticks in her hand faster. Rei's approval never mattered in the past, and it shouldn't now.
It's not relief that swells in Asuka's chest when a long while later, she hears the sound of someone coming back. She tells herself that as Rei approaches, holding something bright in her hands. Asuka stands, stamping her feet on the ground to rid her legs of the pins and needles, and walks over to her.
"Where've you been?" she asks. Rei gives no verbal answer, but holds up the item in her hands: a large shard of glass. Asuka follows after her, bombarding her with questions. "Why'd you go off looking for glass? There's plenty around here. What do you need that for, anyway? You don't think anything's really out here besides us, right? Hey, Wonder Girl-"
Asuka's voice catches in her throat as she sees Rei crouch by the wood, pushing it out into the last of the sun's rays. She holds the shard of glass up to the light, angling it down on the pile, and Asuka feels her stomach sink. What bad shape she must be in, if Wonder Girl's absence makes her feel worried and such simple solutions elude her. She wants to run and hide again, and forget this ever happened, forget the feel of Rei's fingers around her wrist and the bitter taste of failure that sours her mouth. Instead, she stands and watches in silence until a plume of wispy white drifts up from the wood pile and an orange flame blossoms to life.
Rei smiles at her handiwork, watching sparks leap into the air as the fire spreads across the entire pile. She feeds one of her logs into it and turns around, satisfied, only to freeze. Asuka is staring at her, stony-faced, the same expression she always wears before she's about to start yelling. Since she's the only one around, Asuka must want to yell at her. Despite the fire behind her, Rei feels herself go cold, and she finds herself rooted in place as Asuka walks toward her.
She expects Asuka to hit her, to scream, to do something. What she doesn't expect is for Asuka to mutter a flat, "Good job, Wonder Girl." and walk past, until she's under one of the concrete slabs near the fire. Asuka sits, curling her knees up to her chest, and stares into the flames. Rei considers going over to her, but Asuka shoots her a warning glare when she steps forward, and Rei takes a seat on the opposite side of the fire instead.
Darkness falls quickly. It seeps from the sea and into the streets, skirting around the small circle of light where Rei and Asuka have set up their camp. Even in the light, the two look like shadows: Asuka is quiet and unmoving, and Rei's only action is to stand and feed a log to the fire when it grows too small.
High above, the moon crosses back to the other side of the red streak. Asuka doesn't pay it any notice. All she has a mind for is the imprint of the fire burning in the back of her eye and the girl sitting on the other side. "Hey," she says, before she can stop herself. Rei looks up, and Asuka chides herself for letting her guard slip. Asuka hopes she will let the matter drop, but Rei continues to stare at her. She knows the other girl can wait, even if her patience tends to run thin when it's just the two of them, and sighs. "You..." She pauses. The question, like everything else she's done that day, sounds stupid.
"Yes?" asks Rei.
Asuka grinds her teeth together, slamming a fist against the street. Damn Rei and her persistence. "You're not here to turn me into LCL again, right?"
Rei blinks at this question. Out of all the things Asuka could have asked her, this is one of the most unexpected. "Of course not," she replies. Asuka nods, seemingly satisfied. "Why would you ask-" Rei's eyes widen in realization. Asuka turns away, knowing what's to come. "You saw me," Rei says. Asuka says nothing, holding her knees tighter against her chest. "Why?"
A cold silence follows. The fire dwindles down, and Rei makes no move to stoke it, her gaze fixed intently on Asuka. Asuka still refuses to look at Rei, refuses to answer. She swallows more than once, her face set in a soft grimace. It pains Rei to watch her, but comforting Asuka is beyond her.
At last, Asuka moves. She rises, crossing the small distance between herself and the pile of wood. She picks one up and throws it into the fire, kicking sparks high into the air. They dance like fireflies, and die just as quickly, and by the time they've vanished Asuka is seated in her previous spot, as if she never moved. A sigh passes through her lips, long and loud, and finally she looks up and meets Rei's eyes. "You know why, Ayanami," she says.
"Are you hungry?"
Asuka looks up at the sound of Rei's voice. It's been what feels like hours, and even though it feels more like afternoon than night, it's still dark. What light comes from the moon is blocked by the few skyscrapers that remain standing, but between it and the fire, it's enough. "I'm okay," she mutters. "Haven't really been hungry since..." Asuka trails off, but Rei understands. Instrumentality changes people physically as well as mentally.
"I can still find you food if you want," she offers.
"It's fine," Asuka says. There's a bite to her voice that shouldn't be there, and she's sure Rei can hear it. "I'm okay."
Rei nods, but she's not satisfied. Asuka can see it in the forward leaning of her shoulders, in how she chews on her lower lip. She wants to say something, and a moment later, she does. "You're never this quiet. Is something wrong?"
Asuka grins in spite of herself, letting a low chuckle leave her throat. "Thinking about that idiot again," she says. "Whoever's over there with him must be having a great time."
Rei tilts her head, studying Asuka. "That's... not it. There's something more." Asuka's head whips around, her eye narrowing, but there's no force behind it.
"How pathetic," Asuka sighs. "I must really be losing it if someone like you can read me this easily." Rei waits for her to elaborate, but Asuka just shakes her head and goes back to staring at the fire. Rei can hear her murmuring to herself over the crackling of the fire, but not clearly enough to make out the words. At last she lies on her back, folding her hands beneath her head, and says, "I was thinking back to the synchronization training I did with him. The Seventh Angel. Do you remember?"
"I do," Rei says.
"I was jealous. Jealous of you and him."
"Because I synchronized with him on the first try?"
Asuka laughs, though it sounds more like she's sobbing. Rei wants to stand up and go sit by her, but she knows Asuka will react badly to it and forces herself to stay still. "I guess there's some things you still don't know. No, it's because you were up there with him." Asuka's voice grows softer, and Rei has to lean forward and listen hard to hear her. "I wanted it to be you and me. I wanted to outdo you since you wouldn't be my friend, or maybe I thought if we could match each other, you'd reconsider the idea. But no, it was you and him." She rolls onto her side, shaking her head. "I just couldn't let the idea go."
Silence settles over the encampment again. Asuka lets herself fall back, staring up at the stars. Only once has she seen this many before, and that was with Rei and Shinji, after their battle with the Ninth Angel. Before everything went to hell, Asuka thinks. She groans, a sound lost in the snapping of the fire and the scraping of gravel. Asuka looks over, watching Rei rise and walk around the fire until she stands over her, extending a hand.
"The hell's this about?" asks Asuka.
"You said you wanted to dance with me."
"What?" Asuka sits up quickly, wincing and rubbing her head as dizziness washes over her. "No, I didn't."
"You said you were jealous of Shinji and me training together. Your training was a dance pad. Therefore, you wanted to dance with me."
It's such classic Ayanami logic that Asuka wants to scream with frustration. "That's not the point," Asuka mutters through clenched teeth. Rei doesn't pull her hand away, or perhaps she refuses to. After another long moment, Asuka reaches up slowly and takes it.
The first thing she notices is how soft Rei's fingers are. She knows this from when Rei worked on her eye, but holding her hand is something entirely different. Then Rei's other hand comes to settle on her hip, and Asuka feels blood surging to her face. "Where'd you learn to dance?" she asks.
"I don't remember." Rei tugs Asuka closer, seemingly oblivious to the pink tinting Asuka's cheeks, definitely feigning indifference to the blush creeping across her own face. "I just know," she says, guiding Asuka in a small circle around the fire.
The beat they dance to is choppy and erratic, and Asuka's skewed sense of balance doesn't help at all. She sways more than she should, but Rei's hand is always there to catch her, to hold her with a tenderness that Asuka attributes to Rei not wanting to make her injuries worse. Never mind that her eye is healed, and her arm should be too. Never mind the peculiar way that Rei's eyes shine in the firelight, the way they watch Asuka's every move. Never mind the closeness of their bodies, the way their hands clutch at each other, as if filling the empty spaces between their fingers can fill the empty spaces within themselves.
They dance until the fire begins to die, the reach of its light shrinking steadily. It's Rei who begins to slow first, shifting their hands to touch at the palms. She doesn't look at Asuka, not when her motions stutter to a halt, not when she removes her hand from the other girl's waist and lets it hang by her side.
Rei lingers for a moment more, her hand pressed to Asuka's. She turns, breaking their last point of contact, and goes to feed the fire another log.
Asuka stares down at her empty hand, where Rei's fingers had ghosted across it moments before, and doesn't look up until Rei is back in front of her, watching her. There's nothing to be said, and Asuka can't bring herself to look away, that doesn't seem to bother Rei. She reaches out again, pulling Asuka back into the shelter of the slab, where they sit with their backs against it and watch the stars. Rei leans over, brushing shoulders with Asuka, but Asuka doesn't mind. She reaches down, and is surprised when her fingers touch only asphalt: she expected Rei's hand to be there.
At some point, Asuka feels a pressure against her shoulder. She doesn't need to look to know it's Rei. An urge overtakes her- a stupid one, she's sure- but she shifts her arm so it wraps around Rei's waist. To Asuka's surprise, she hears a satisfied sigh, and Rei nuzzles against her. "Why couldn't things have been this way before?" asks Asuka.
Rei looks over, the reflection of the fire masking the melancholy in her eyes. "It wouldn't have worked," she says, and Asuka falls silent again. She knows it's true: there's no way she would've been this open to anyone before. Especially not Rei. Third Impact must've made her soft.
Their silence stretches on, lasting even when the fire, on its last log, begins to flicker and die. It gives out with a final whiff of smoke, a grey spiral that trails up into the heavens until the wind takes it away. Asuka watches it go, and stares into the distant heavens when she can see it no longer. Rei watches Asuka, wondering if she knows she's staring, and if the silver on her cheeks are tears or just the glinting of moonlight. Rei reaches out before she can stop herself, stroking Asuka's cheek with the tips of her fingers.
Asuka freezes at the contact, feeling herself go rigid. At any moment, she'll turn back into LCL with a pop and Rei will disappear, her job complete. Only this doesn't happen. Rei's thumb traces the outline of her cheek, pausing at the ribbon holding her eye patch in place. "Asuka?" she says. "Why are you shaking?"
"I-" Asuka opens her mouth to tell Rei that she isn't, but when she looks down, her hand is most definitely trembling. She could say she's cold, and it would be believable- but it would be a lie. A lie meant to keep up appearances, in a world where appearances no longer hold meaning, and Asuka's sure that Rei wouldn't care either way.
Instead, she grabs Rei's wrist and pulls her closer, satisfaction flickering in her chest at the startled look on her face. She stops just before their lips touch; suddenly unsure of herself, a little less brave. Even in such close proximity, she still can't read Rei. Fear rises in Asuka's stomach; fear that Rei will yank her hand free and reject her, and that once again she will be alone. Then she feels something warm touch her hand, and Rei's fingers thread through hers. Asuka has just enough time to register this before Rei leans in.
Rei's lips are warm. They're soft, and Asuka sighs at the contact, tightening her grip on Rei's hand. Rei squeezes back, and Asuka hesitates, wondering if she's done something wrong. But Rei merely tilts her head to the side, palm ghosting across Asuka's cheek to weave into her hair. Her tongue glides against Asuka's, teeth tugging gently-questioningly almost- at her lip, and Asuka lets her eye slide shut at last.
The broken, red-soaked world fades, forgotten. The only thing that matters is Rei and the persistent movement of her lips; the feeling of Rei's hand curling against the back of her neck; the silence, punctuated only by their breathing and the pounding of Asuka's heart in her ears.
At last, Rei moves away. Asuka lets her lungs take in a huge breath of air, then another. Then it is she who leans forward. Rei smiles; Asuka can feel it as they kiss, in the way Rei's fingers tug her closer, impossibly closer. She opens her eye as she pulls back, focusing only on Rei, who stares back at her with the most adorable expression Asuka's ever seen.
"You were right, I guess. I did need somebody." Asuka says quietly. "I needed you." Rei's response is to pull Asuka toward her, not for a kiss, but to wrap her arms around her. The contact surprises Asuka, and she's sure that Rei must be able to feel her heart pounding in her chest. "Thanks for coming back, Ayana- Rei."
Rei doesn't reply, not verbally, but the smile she gives Asuka lights up her eyes. Asuka's never seen this before, not even when Rei looked at Commander Ikari, and her heart skips a beat. "We should sleep now," she says.
"I'm not that tired," Asuka replies. "Are you?"
Rei blinks at the question, more out of surprise that Asuka would be concerned about her than anything else. "I... would like to rest," she says. Asuka doesn't reply, but Rei feels a tug on her hand. Asuka lies down, pulling Rei with her, their fingers still laced together. Asuka's hand winds around her, drawing her closer, until their bodies are nestled against each other. Only then does Asuka sigh happily, wrapping her arms around Rei's waist.
"Good night, Rei," Asuka whispers, pressing her lips to the top of Rei's head.
"Good night," answers Rei, and snuggles back against Asuka with a happy sigh, a satisfied smile on her face.