A/N: This was my monologue that I wrote for Drama. Ms. Norman gave it a 97 (took off points for grammar) but I want 2 know what my loyal readers think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I only borrowed Yoda to get a good grade. Star Wars belongs to the guy with the plaid flannel shirt and glasses.
For more than 800, I have trained Jedi. I'm the head of the Jedi Council and respected by all. But do you know how that makes me sound? Boring, boring, BORING! And ever since I moved to Dagobah, my life became even MORE boring. I mean, it's the galaxy's biggest swamp. There's not a whole lot you can do in a big slimy mud hole.
It was definitely time for a change. I wasn't going to spend anymore Friday nights doing Sudoku puzzles. I was going to throw the biggest, loudest, most obnoxious party ever! There would be music and fireworks and stuff that would make the neighbors call the cops to complain, if I had neighbors that is!
Several hours later, my party was in full swing. My whole house was decorated with streamers, a disco ball, and even an ice sculpture of me in the punch bowl. Everyone from the Jedi Council (well, what's left of it), the Senate, and the Skywalker children were there. Everyone was having a good time, when we ran out of Coke. Since Coke is the root of everything good, I knew the party couldn't go on without it. I went out to get more.
When I got back, I realized I had left my keys in my house. I tried knocking on the door, but someone had messed with my stereo so it would play 10 times louder. I tried calling the house, but Obi Wan gave the phone to the ice sculpture in the punch.
Finally, I got angry. I don't get angry very often because it's not the Jedi way, but when I do, WATCH OUT! I turned on my lightsaber, raised it over my head, and just as I was about to cut the door down, I heard sirens. Thanks to whoever messed with my stereo, people on neighboring planets had called the cops to complain about the noise! The cops thought I was trying to break in. I explained to them that it was my house and I had just gotten locked out of my party. They understood. But they still arrested me for the noise!
The next morning, after spending the night in a cell with a huge guy named Tiny Bob, I got to go home. Nobody even noticed I had gone. They all thanked me for the party and went home. The house was a mess, the stereo was broken, and there was gigantic hole in the roof because someone had set the fireworks off inside. But it was worth it. I am no longer Yoda, bring Jedi Master. I am Yoda, wild party master!
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