Diamond Gill
46
District One
How
Do I explain myself? Everything?
Could
I have prevented it? Of course
I
Could've . Should've. I've corrupted the one thing I loved most. I am the monster. Not him. Me.
Diamond's head throbbed, pulsing painfully with every breath, every movement. At some point she had stopped trying to stop the pain. There was no point. The pain was chronic, everlasting. All she could do was lay in her bedroom for hours on end, eyes shut tightly. On some occasions, her husband would check up on her, but never do anything about the state she was in. But those were few and far between, as her dear husband was always "working".
Working.
He may as well tell the ugly truth than try to fool her with pretty lies.
Her life was in a state of migraine, constant pain, confusion, everything. That's the only way she could ever describe it.
Her mother would always tell her, "Look around. You have everything. We've worked so hard, to give you a life of luxury, yet it isn't good enough."
Diamond was fortunate, anyone could see that very clearly. And it wasn't that the life she was living wasn't good enough. It was the fact that no matter what she did, how many fur coats she owned or how many events she was invited to, she could never shake her guilt. The utter sense of horror at what she had done. To strangers, her son, her family.
Her son.
The victor.
The champion.
They didn't know, what Paxton had become. Who he had become. He was away, currently, in the Capitol, preparing for the upcoming games. He hid behind fake smiles, charming glances at the camera, and prideful statements she knew for a fact, pained him to say.
Her little boy.
She had done everything for him. Cared for him, loved him like no other. He would always be her boy. She only wanted what was best for him. To help him become what he was destined to be. Or at least, what she wanted him to be.
The migraines started the instant she saw him on the pedestal. Her little boy. Her little boy could truly face death. How had she not realized this? She always told him , 'Be safe, you don't know when your last day will be.'
He could truly do the unthinkable. Someone else could, or in this case, would do the unthinkable. He was standing among other people's little boys and little girls. How would she have reacted if somebody ever did something like that to him?
She hadn't thought of it.
She was nothing but selfish, just selfish.
How could she?
The migraines worsened as the games went on. To her relief, her little boy remained safe. But that came with a price. She saw, other little boys and girls, murdered, slain, some at the hands of others, a few, at the hands of her own son. She was just as bad as those who designed the games. She was the reason why Paxton would drink every night and not come found for days, even weeks on end. She had caused the death of others. She may as well have been wielding the knife that was used to kill those innocent children. Her hands were covered with innocent blood.
She deserved every pang of sharp, searing pain, the hurricane inside her head.
So let it ring.
Let the memories flow.
Let the pain suffocate her until she can't think, breath.
Ay.
So I hope you enjoyed :D
Sorry that this chapter was short, I promise Chapter Two will be much more interesting. And yea, there's a serious lack of action ik.
The rules and form are on my profile, so be sure to submit!
Press that review button, bitch ;3
Also, can you spot the Your Lie in April reference?
Peace
-Ellie