This is for Sourgrapesnape24 because I know they will appreciate this, and thank you for the title! :)
*This is a PARODY type fic, no disrespect to JK Rowling's work/characters at all. It's just meant to be funny.
*I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters/names/locations/objects, etc. they belong to JK Rowling so no copyright infringement intended here! No sir! (Uncle Vernon reference) lol. PLEASE REVIEW!
Snape's Awkward Experience Chapter 1~The Closet
It was the next day after the Yule Ball. Fourth Year Potions was a dull and boring class period, consisting of brewing Girding Potion and Snape lecturing about how it had to be mixed just right.
Hannah Abbott accidentally put one too many flying seahorses into her potion. "Miss Abbott, I said three flying seahorses not five! And oh look, you've managed to completely neglect adding doxy eggs. This potion is supposed to be green not yellow!" Snape scolded, marking down her grade on his clipboard as he walked past during the evaluation of everyone's potions.
Naturally, Hannah began crying. Her best friend, fellow Hufflepuff and roommate Susan Bones, patted her back. "It's alright Hannah, mine's not much better..."
"Stop sniffling Abbott, it's not going to bring up your grade! Now I suggest you get a hold of yourself or I'll dock even more points from Hufflepuff, and from what I hear you can't afford to lose any, being in last for the House Cup and all," Snape told her coldly.
All the Slytherins bust out laughing. 'Sniffling Hannah Hufflepuff!' she heard Draco Malfoy snickering with his goonies Crabbe and Goyle. Susan turned around and gave Malfoy's group a dirty look. Ernie MacMillan and Justin Finch-Fletchley looked like they'd love nothing more than to hex Malfoy.
Hannah tried to control her sniffling but with all the Slytherins teasing her, she couldn't. "STOP IT!" she wailed. Snape walked briskly over to their table. "Miss Abbott, it is not anyone's fault but yours that you cannot even manage a basic fourth year level potion!" he snapped.
"I know! I can't do anything!" Hannah sobbed, getting up and running out of the classroom.
"Han! Wait!" Susan ran out after her friend.
The entire class erupted in whispers, giggling, and snickering-from the Slytherins. "Excuse me Professor, but that wasn't very nice-" Ernie started.
"Hush MacMillan, ten points from Hufflepuff!" Snape snapped. Ernie slouched back in his seat, Justin shrugged.
Even the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors looked around in confusion, anxious to see what would happen next. "Do you think she's alright?" Neville whispered to Ron, concerned. "Who cares! That was hilarious!" Ron laughed. Harry nudged Ron "Hey, Hermione's still not here yet-it's not like her to skip class."
Ron shrugged "Dunno...maybe she's off snogging Krum." Harry rolled his eyes "Get over it!"
Snape cleared his throat in front of their desk "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, I'd suggest less talking, more brewing," he lectured in his drone-like voice. Harry and Ron went back to their potion.
"Class I have to go and find Miss Abbott and Miss Bones, I will be right back, don't you dare try anything or you'll wish you hadn't!" Snape announced to the class. He noticed his Slytherins snickering again. "Especially you, Malfoy, I'd hate to have to deduct points from my own house but I will if necessary." Malfoy shut up.
Snape stalked out of the classroom muttering about giving Hannah and Susan detentions and docking an insanely large number of points from Hufflepuff, his long black robes billowing behind him.
"Han-!" Susan shouted, jogging after Hannah.
"I can't do anything!" Hannah wailed, running into a supply closet and collapsing onto the floor, hugging her knees and sobbing.
"Oh don't mind Snape! You're good at lots of things like, erm, uh, oh Herbology!" Susan said brightly, sitting down next to her and closing the door.
Hannah sniffled and blew her nose in her robes. She wiped her eyes with her yellow and black Hufflepuff tie. "R-really?" she choked out.
"Yes!" Susan gave her friend a reassuring hug.
Just then there was more sniffling coming from within the closet. "Han, why are you crying now?" Susan asked, confused.
"I'm not?" Hannah exchanged a confused glance with her friend.
"Uh, is someone else in here?" Susan whispered, nervously.
Just then their eyes adjusted to the darkness inside the closet, another girl was curled up with the hood of her robes hiding her face. Susan gently pulled the hood off of the other girl's head; Hermione Granger of Gryffindor was curled up in the corner sobbing.
"Hermione?" Hannah asked, shocked.
"Oh yeah! I do remember not seeing her in Potions..." Susan said, looking at Hannah. "Hermione what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
Hermione wiped her eyes, her face flushed deep red. "Ha-nnah? Sus-an?" she stuttered, embarrassed.
"Yeah. What happened? You weren't in Potions," Susan questioned.
"I-I, its nothing, stupid really, I had a fight with Ron this morning-" Hermione began but was cut off when Snape threw open the closet door and slammed it behind him. He had no idea that the Weasley twins were hiding out during their free period and bewitched the door to lock itself everytime someone closed it from inside the closet, the only way out was for someone to open it on the outside.
"A-HA!" Snape shouted, his face stiff with annoyance. He aimed his wand at them "Get up and get back to class!" he ordered. Hannah, Susan, and Hermione all got to their feet and headed for the door.
"Erm, Professor-?" Hannah looked up at Snape.
"Yes, Abbott?" Snape asked dryly.
"The door's locked," Hannah told him.
"Don't be absurd Miss Abbott," Snape tried the handle, shocked to realize that she was right.
"Professor-" said Hermione, examining the doorknob. "-there's a turquoise glow around the handle, I believe this door has been bewitched to lock itself until someone opens it from outside-and this closet is hardly ever used."
Susan and Hannah's eyes bugged out. "OH NO!" they began to panic.
Snape slapped his forehead and Hermione cringed, nervously awaiting Snape's reaction. "So you're telling me that I'm trapped in here with you, Miss Know-It-All, and the two giddy Hufflepuffs?" Snape asked, Hermione could hear the fury rising in his voice.
"Erm-well-yes," she admitted nervously.
"Damnit," Snape muttered, slouching against the wall.