Chapter One

With her hands in her pockets Quinn Fabray looked around the empty apartment. Outside she could hear the cars passing. This apartment was something completely different from her old house back in Roswell, but she had no problem with leaving it behind. This was her way of starting over. A loud bang made her turn around and saw one of the movers had dropped a box.

"Sorry."

Guilty he glanced up as he tried to pick up the box again. Quinn grinned and walked over to him. Her footsteps sounded hollow through the house, just like her heart was feeling.

"It's okay. Leave it."

Thankfully the man let go of the box and went back downstairs to help his colleague to get the rest of the stuff. Quinn walked to the window and looked outside. She had managed to get an apartment at the fourth floor of an apartment building at Michigan Avenue, nearby the hospital she would start working. She sighed and heard the movers come up with more stuff. The next hours she busied herself decorating her apartment and unpacking. At the end of the day she laid down on her couch, completely worn out, but she had unpacked the most things and her apartment was worth living in. Only now she had time to think, to think about what she had left behind. She closed her eyes and immediately the familiar faces of her crew appeared. Over the years they had become friends, even closer then family. She sighed, she didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about she would never see them again, no matter what she tried. It was over, she had lost her family for the second time in her life. She felt alone, hollow.

"No, Jenny, we can't. We already are understaffed."

With a bang doctor Karen McLaughlin hung up the phone. Sighing, she glanced around her E.R department. They could barely keep the E.R open for patients, due to cuts in the budget, she had lost two doctors and three nurses. Luckily she had convinced the board to hire a new doctor and a new nurse, otherwise they could send their patients straight to Loretto Hospital and close this department. But when she started here, she swore she wouldn't let that happen, not on her watch.

"Doctor McLaughlin!"

She turned and saw one of the attendings walking down the hall towards her. In his hand he held a charge and he looked worried.

"Doctor Jameson, spit it out."

Unsure if she was joking, he glanced at her and handed her the charge. She quickly read the changes.

"His liver is failing. I already called Dialysis, but they are one machine down," he told her the bad news. Her face twitched and handed him the charge.

"Get them down, even if you have to drag them down," she said and sends him away. She sighed again, this patient had been brought in a few hours ago from a car crash and it looked like he won't make it. She walked behind the desk and ditched up the bag that came with him. It was time to call the family.

"Doc?" She looked up at Jake, the desk clerk, who held the phone to his chest. "There's a multiple trauma coming in, a bus full of kids."

She nodded and swore inwardly. She hated traumas where kids were involved. "Who's around?" she asked him.

"Just you. Doctor Smith and doctor Nickelson are on lunch break."

She walked past the desk, towards the emergency entrance. "Page them!"

For her age doctor Karen McLaughlin was pretty short, it was in her family. Sometimes it was tricky, but she was used to it, she had a good voice to let people know she was in charge. She stepped outside into the ambulance bay, she could hear the ambulances coming. She glanced up at the sky, big snowflakes were coming down rapidly. She grabbed the hems of her coat and pulled it tightly around her to hold some of her body warmth. She glanced back at the entrance, waiting impatiently for the first ambulance. A running person caught her eye. It was a blonde female, running towards her. She scowled, the woman wasn't packed in a lot of cloths, like normal people. Not even gasping for air the woman stopped next to her.

"Hi, I'm looking for uhm…doctor McLaughlin," she said, smiling slightly.

"You found her," Karen reacted dryly and the woman grinned.

"I'm Quinn Fabray…"

"The new doc," Karen interrupted her, glad Quinn already arrived. She was supposed to start tomorrow, but Jake had probably called her up.

"Yeah. I got a phone call, you have a multiple trauma?" she asked and Karen was surprised the woman wasn't quivering in the cold. Apparently she was used to cold.

"Yes, you can start right away." Karen had to speak louder, the first two ambulances drove into the ambulance bay. "You take the second one. You know where Trauma Two is?" she asked, running to the first ambulance.

"Yes." Quinn ran to the second ambulance and Karen was happy to notice Quinn wasn't a woman of many words; she already had an overflowing of rambling interns and attendings.

Weeks passed and Quinn had settled into Mercy Hospital and even had made some friends. None of them were as close friends as her old friends in Roswell, but they were people she liked hanging out with.

"You are so not picking in that surgery. That's mine!"

Grinning Quinn followed the discussion behind her between the interns Jessica 'Jessie' Smith and Gary Nickelson. Jason Collins, the third intern, was just listening to his colleagues, trying to hide his grin.

"I was first!"

"Not, I was!"

"Should we tell them?" Quinn looked back at her table as Kevin McCain, one of the attendings, asked

the question. Quinn grinned and shook her head.

"Let them fight, it's good for them," she smirked and glanced back at the interns. Jessie looked like she could bite of Gary's head in any second.

"What if they kill each other?" Heather McKinley, also an attending, asked worried, glancing at the relaxed blonde across her.

"At least they kill each other in the hospital. They will have a change to survive," Quinn mocked and laughed at Heather's face.

"You so didn't say that!" Quinn laughed even louder at that reply. As an intern she had to fight for her surgeries too and it only made her stronger and better at her job.

"Guys, stop fighting. I will do the surgery."

Immediately Jessie and Gary stopped fighting and stared in disbelief at a smirking Jason, who stared back at his colleagues.

"You?"

"See, problem solved." Smirking Quinn stood up, picked up her plate and walked out of the canteen, right into a busy E.R. The emergency doors slid open and a heavily bleeding woman got wheeled in by the paramedic. Quinn searched for Karen, who just came into the E.R with another patient.

"Trauma One, Quinn!" she yelled at the blonde and Quinn ran with the paramedics to Trauma One, while listening to the paramedic who had started rambling the vital stats of the patient.

Peace had come down in the E.R. Quinn was filling in some forms at the desk as Karen approached. For a moment she took in the serious looking blonde. Over the weeks she had become friends with her and something about Quinn was off, she rarely laughed and when she did, her laugh never ever reached her eyes. Karen could tell the blonde had been through heavy times. Quinn had told her she used to work on a SAR squadron as medic, but had never told why she'd come to Chicago.

"We make a good team, didn't we?"

Karen looked up and saw Quinn smirking at her. Karen returned the smirk and nodded.

"Definitely. How is your man?" she asked, laying down her charge at the desk and leant on the desk, glancing up at Quinn. Quinn was taller, much taller, but Karen didn't mind, she was used to it.

"Woman. She didn't make it. Massive bleeder in the abdomen, probably the spleen," Quinn said and sadness slid across her face. The doors of the emergency entrance hissed and made both women look up. A tall, handsome man in air force uniform walked inside. Slowly Quinn got up from the desk she was leaning on, her eyes glued at the man.

"Lieutenant Fabray," he greeted and Quinn saluted at him. Smiling he saluted back.

"Colonel Lincolns, what brings you here?"

He nodded politely at Karen before returning his gaze on Quinn. His eyes darted in the air between them, like he was searching for words.

"You. We need to talk."

The lounge room was quiet around this time, only doctor Heinrich was dictating his charges. Silently, Quinn sat across her old CO, Daniel Lincolns. She had no idea why he was here to talk to her. There was nothing to talk about, she was done with the SAR squadron she used to be part of, and she had start over here.

"I have a proposal." Daniel broke the silence, trying to see her reaction. She didn't move a muscle, her face was in a no emotion mode. "Quinn, I can offer you your old job back."

Now her head jerked up, her eyes fierce. "I don't want it."

He closed his eyes, he kind of expected that reaction. He opened his eyes again to meet her glance. "Quinn, I know you're scared…" he started.

Suddenly Quinn stood up and turned her back at him, staring out of the window. "It's not that. I can't go back there. There are too many memories."

Daniel stood up to and came standing behind her, he laid a hand on her shoulder. He was surprised she didn't shake it off right away.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked softly. She swirled around to face him, her eyes filled with sadness. She had folded her arms before her chest.

"Yes, it is if I need to work in it. I can't work and constantly think about…her." Her head dropped to her chest, fighting back the tears that threatened to surface.

"Jaidy wouldn't have wanted you to stop." Fatherly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, knowing she was in pain. She glanced back at him, her eyes where wet and a single tear rolled down.

"You don't know that. We will never know what she wanted me to do. She's dead."

Silence fell between them, wrapped up in their own thoughts. They both didn't noticed, doctor Heinrich packed his stuff and walked to the door. At the door he met Karen, who just wanted to enter. Without saying anything, he shook his head and motioned to Quinn and the colonel. Karen nodded and turned back. The door closed softly behind them.

"Think about it. I need you, this team needs you. They are not a team yet, they miss someone like you, Quinn. I know you miss it, the adrenaline."

Quinn had to agree, she did miss the adrenaline shot that shot through her veins just before she had to go down. That sort of adrenaline shots she didn't get here in the hospital. But the reason of her departing stopped her. She didn't know if she could work there again, knowing she wouldn't found what she was looking for. Her mind went back in time…

A sudden deafening alarm sounded through the building, there was a call out. Quickly Quinn stored the medical stock and ran to the changing room. Ralf, Jaidy and Joachim Israel, the flight engineer, were already changing.

"You're getting lazy on your old day," Jaidy mocked the beautiful blonde.

"I bet I'll be the first one who's in the chopper," Quinn dared her friend with a smirk.

"Deal. Five bucks." Jaidy held out her hand and Quinn slammed it.

"Sorry, girls. You both loose, I'll be first."

Ralf was standing in the doorway, all geared up.

"But you're not in the chopper, that's the deal," Quinn smirked, pulling on her suit and grabbed the small, medical bag. With Jaidy on her tail, Quinn raced passed Ralf, running to the chopper. She heard Ralf and Jaidy coming after her when she jumped into the red and yellow chopper, smirking at her teammates. They both climbed in the cockpit and after Joachim jumped in, Quinn slammed the cargo door close and in a glimpse she saw Ralf's right hand trembled. Scowling she sat down on her seat, putting on her helmet and connected with the intercom.

"Now, who's lazy?" she mocked them, feeling the chopper trembling under her. Ralf slowly turned on the motors, Jaidy quickly ran through the many instruments. Within a few minutes they were up in the air.

"I will beat you some day," Jaidy gave back and glanced over her shoulder.

"Good luck with that," Joachim snickered and smirked at the blonde who sat opposite of him. She smirked back and winked.

The siren of an arriving ambulance pulled her back to the present and she looked up at Daniel.

"I'll think about it."

"Thanks, Quinn."

He held her glance and a small smile crept up her face. Suddenly, the door of the lounge swung open and broke their contact. In the doorway was Karen standing, wearing scrubs and gloves and holding a pair of scrubs out.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we got a double GS," she said, handing Quinn the scrubs. Quickly, Quinn pulled them on and turned to face Daniel.

"I'll call you," she promised and disappeared. Alone, Daniel stayed behind, lost in his own thoughts.

Tired, but satisfied Quinn walked at the end of her shift into the locker room. For a second her mind wondered back to her conversation between her and the CO. She walked to the back of the room, where her locker was and opened it. She took of her coat and hung it in the locker. While doing it, her mind went back to her time at the squadron and sighed. To be honest, she missed it, she had always loved being outside, no matter the weather circumstances.

"Do you know what I have heard?" Quinn's attention got pulled as she heard someone talking across the locker room. She thought she recognized Jessie's high voice, punctuated with excitement.

"No, I still can't read your mind." That was definitely Gary's deep voice, he sounded rather annoyed.

"Our very own doctor Fabray had a visitor today." Quinn was surprised she didn't see Jessie jumping up to the roof, so much excitement sounded through her voice.

"So?"

"So? It was a high man from the air force, or something." Softly Quinn chuckled, good news always traveled fast around here. "Rumor has it doctor Fabray was part of a Search And Rescue team at the border with Mexico." Now Quinn pricked her ears, she was curious how this rumor would end.

"Who told you?" she heard Gary asked, his curiosity was clearly aroused.

"An O.R. nurse. Apparently, doctor Fabray had connections with a drugs gang, who were hiding in the mountains after a big deal. Doctor Fabray knew this and simulated a call out, to play taxi for the drugs. But…"

Quinn felt the urge to storm at those two and yell at them, to tell them to mind their own business, but she resisted it and forced herself to listen.

"…doctor Fabray had managed to get out alive after the crash. She didn't care and went looking for her gang, to pick up the drugs."

"Did she find them?" That was another voice and Quinn could hear multiple footsteps and murmurs. Great.

"Yes. She delivered the drugs and went off radar. Apparently, she didn't care about she practically drove…flew her team to death."

Angrily, Quinn slammed her locker door shut and stomped out of the room. She really liked to crash something right now. That rumor was a lie and she had to cut it. She ran outside, out of this horrible place. Maybe she should have stepped in, tell the truth, but she didn't like be vulnerable. Especially not in front of some immature interns. She leant against the wall and rolled her head aside to look at the hospital. She was standing at the entrance of the ambulance bay. She really hoped she could start over here, but clearly the crash haunted her everywhere. Maybe it was a good idea to return, to show they couldn't get her down. She missed working in such a small team, a team that would be close. And if she understood it right, Daniel coped with a team that first wasn't complete and secondly nowhere near being a close team. She turned her head away and leant it against the wet, cold bricks, her hands in the pockets of her vest. She knew Karen hadn't enough doctors, so how could she abandon her? But on the other hand, the squadron was calling her.

Tiredly, Karen stretched herself on the couch in the lounge. She knew she would regret it when she would wake up, but she needed some rest. It was one busy day, but she didn't mind. She hadn't seen Quinn hardly, which did regret and not at the same time. There was something in that blond, gorgeous, stunning woman that attracted her. In her college years she once dated a girl, but when she went to med school, she broke the relation, she didn't had time for her anymore. She hadn't been in a relationship since. Actually, she even hadn't think about it, until she showed up. Slowly, Karen drifted off the sleep, but immediately woke up when she heard footsteps come in the lounge. Her eyes flew open and saw Quinn standing in front of the window. Karen sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Jeez, Fabray, don't you ever go home?" Chuckling, the blonde turned, but Karen saw her eyes didn't laugh along. In fact, the blond looked even sadder than ever. "Quinn, what's up?"

Quinn walked away from the window and sat down in a chair across Karen.

"I have a problem," she said.

"Problems are there to be solved," Karen stated and smiled. The blonde nodded, but didn't return the smile. Instead, she looked Karen straight in the eyes.

"We need to talk."