Hey there :) so before you begin to read this story, I'll like to say that it is currently undergoing some beta reading. So far it's only chapter 1 that has been corrected. Just so you know why the grammar is better at the beginning.

beta reading done by WolfAtSea - Thank you for the help :)

Chapter 1

Castiel sits at the kitchen table in the Men of Letters' bunker. It's early in the morning and he is the only one awake. It's quiet in the kitchen, the only sound coming from the coffee cup he keeps turning around on the tabletop. He can't sleep: he keeps having nightmares about the angles fall. His brothers and sisters thrown to Earth, doomed to walk the Earth without any chance of returning to their home and all of this is his fault. Because he once again thought he did his best, once again thought he knew best, but once again failed to fix the problem.

And now he's here in the bunker with Sam, Dean and Kevin. But he is being chased, hunted by his own family. Sam and Dean have angel proofed the whole bunker to keep him hidden. It makes Castiel feel even more like a burden. And it makes him feel useless to the brothers: what help can he even be to them now? He can't heal them, he can't fly them anywhere, and he's weak compared to what he used to be. Of course he can still fight, but it takes time to learn how to handle weapons he has never needed before. He can handle a knife, but firearms are something that will take him some time to learn to use, and time is something he does not have. There is so much that he has to learn at once, and suddenly it seems as if his thousands of years of observing the Earth is useless – it is one thing to see someone do something, and quite another to do it yourself.

But Castiel will not let it knock him out. He is a soldier, and he will keep on fighting. He tries his best to learn how to handle all these new things, even though Dean tells him that he also needs to relax from time to time.

Castiel smiles at the thought of Dean, at the thought of the first time he saw Dean again after his fall, not that it was a very pleasant reunion. Nonetheless, it ended all right:

Castiel had not even planned to return to Dean and Sam because he knew that having him with them would cause the brothers even more trouble. But he couldn't completely let go, so he stayed in a town near the Men of Letters' bunker. Then one evening he saw the Impala, Dean's beloved car, parked in front of a laundromat. Castiel looked over to the door and wondered if he should go in there, but he didn't do it, for what should he say to them? He just stood there and looked at the car, thinking of all the times he had been in it, all the times he just appeared and...

"You're not going to steal it, are you?" someone asked from behind.

Castiel froze on the spot, and closed his eyes for a brief moment before turning around to face Dean. Dean dropped the duffel bag he had in his hand. It landed on the ground with a soft thud; it was probably filled with clothes.

Dean didn't look angry, but not too happy to see Castiel either. To be honest, Castiel could not say what Dean felt - it was simply too hard to read the hunter's face.

For a moment they stood there and just looked at each other. Dean had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, and Castiel became more and more nervous. Would Dean begin to shout at him, or just leave?

Dean looked down at his watch. "How long has it been since I last saw you ...? Oh yeah, nine days." He looked up at Castiel again. "Nine days, Cas! Where the hell have you been, man? "

Castiel looked away when he saw the disappointed look on Dean's face, a look he had seen far too many times. "Dean…"

"Sammy and I've been drowning in angels recently, but the only one we haven't seen is you! Is it really that hard to drop by and say that you're okay? Or maybe tell why the disaster Naomi warned us about actually happened?

"Metatron tricked me." Said Castiel though he knew it was a poor excuse. He looked up at Dean. "Dean, I know my apologies do not mean anything to you, but ..." he stopped, for what could he possibly say to justify any of it?

"Yeah, you're right. They don't mean much." Dean said, shaking his head slightly.

Castiel looked back down to the ground. This was why he hadn't returned to the bunker yet: he knew how disappointed Dean would be.

"But there is probably only one thing to do about it, isn't there? You come back with me now to the bunker, and help us send the angels back to Heaven." Said Dean.

Castiel looked up again. Dean wasn't smiling, but his face had softened a bit. "I can't; it's too dangerous for you: they're all after me, every single one of them."

Dean shrugged. "We could use an angel on our side."

Castiel sighed. "Dean, I… I'm not an angel anymore."

Dean looked a bit confused. "But the other angels, the ones we've come across, they all still had many of their powers. How...? "

"My grace, my powers, everything that made me an angel, was the last ingredient in Metatron's spell. I'm just a human now." Castiel felt a little bad about saying 'just a human', but for an angel who suddenly becomes human, it is a demotion.

Dean's gaze flickered over Castiel's face. The hunter's eyes were filled with pity and all signs of anger were gone from his face. "Okay ..." he muttered and picked up his bag and threw it in the trunk, before turning to Castiel again. "I'm sorry, man."

Castiel sighed. "Me too, I'm sorry that I won't be able to help."

Dean made a short laugh. "Yeah, I'm not gonna let you get out of this that easy." He said and went to the door to the driver's seat. "Get in." He said, nodding toward the passenger seat. "You can start by helping us angel proofing the whole place. We can't have they come and take you, can we?" He said and got in.

Castiel felt relieved. Dean would like to have him in the bunker; they had not secured the place from angels, even though they had a good reason of doing so. But they hadn't, perhaps because they wanted him to come back.

Castiel got in beside Dean, who started the car. For a moment they drove in silence: not the awkward kind of silence – the relaxing kind.

"Cas, can I ask you something?" Dean asked.

"Of course." Castiel replied and turned to Dean.

"Do you know why it was you Metatron used?" Dean asked and looked over at Castiel before he had to look back at the road.

Castiel shrugged. "I don't know."

He had asked himself the same question, but didn't have any answer.

Castiel removes his hands from the coffee cup as it gets too hot. He has kept his fingers on the same spot too long because his thoughts have once again centered on why he was the third ingredient. After he has come to the bunker, he has had time to think, without having to fear an attack every minute. It has not taken him long to figure out why he was the third ingredient in Metatron's spell.