The day I saw her, she was the most beautiful thing I saw. I told her she reminded me of a mouse, which was true. She was small and frail, kind of sickly too, but all I wanted to do was wrap her up in my arms. I hoped that the claims were true, that she was the sun summoner. I tested her, and I felt a tug in her. I just had to pull it out.
When I saw her power for the first time, I felt like I was in the presence of an angel. She was beautiful. I want her, I thought. I want her to be mine. When I saw her in the middle of that light, I saw a future for us. I saw her as a queen. I saw us keeping each other warm in the winter, her kissing me whenever she got a chance. I saw her smiling as she walked down the isle in a beautiful white dress. I saw her become Alina Morozarov. The thought made my heart race.
On our way to Os Alta, I made sure we had time to talk. I acted how I always do cold and closed off, I wanted to see her reaction to me. While on the journey, we were attacked by Fjerdans. I had to use the cut on him, and Alina saw. I scared her. She was afraid of me. I got to hold her for the first time, and as amazing as it felt, I had to comfort her. Later, we sat in the barn, and I got to talk to her, not as the Darkling, but as Aleksander. It felt great to actually talk to her, but all I wanted to do is pick her up, put her in my lap, and snuggle up with her. I want her love, but I know she gave her heart to someone else. I just have to earn it.
At the little palace I had a lot of work to take care of, but every chance I get I went to see her. A few weeks after she came here, I heard that dumb prince say that he wants Alina, that only a prince deserves a saint. I knew then that if Alina stayed here, that she would end up in a cage like me. I didn't want that for her, and I knew she wouldn't want to live like that. After that I tried to get her to wear black. It was to show she was more than just another Grisha, more than that damn prince. It was also to show she's mine. She never wore it.
I started realizing more no Grisha would be free with the Lanstov's in rule. I got the idea to use the fold to my advantage. To combine the kingdom's, and rule them as one in order to release the Grisha. Then, and only then I will gain Alina's love.
However my mother had to ruin it. She told Alina a half truth. She told Alina my plans, but told her that I wanted a slave. She told me that loving someone weaker than me was a weakness in its self. After that the next time I saw Alina she made me her villain, and I found out then who had her heart. The thought of someone else touching her in the way only I should touch her made my blood boil.
So I played her game. I waited for her to come to me. I wait for months on end waiting for her to come to me in tears, regretting everything that she did, but she didn't. Instead I woke up from my nightmares in tears about her. At first it was a cold sweat, but more and more it became tears from her always choosing someone to love other than me.
At first the dreams were pleasurable. Me and her, just us together. They started out innocent. Her and I having a picnic in a field of flowers, then it started getting more heated, with me always waking up before I can be in her. Then the dreams getting worse. Her and I starting out laughing, happy, truly in love, then she turns, sees the tracker or that pup, and is swept away by either of them.
I knew that the tracker loved her as the orphan girl he once knew. In love with her past, and that Ravkan pup just wanted her for her power, but said he was in love. While I want her for her. Not a saint, not an orphan, not a solider, just Alina, so I played her villain 'til the bitter end.
I went to see her often. To see if she changed her mind about me. She never did. She always said she was with the tracker, or say that my touch, my power, my love, she didn't want it. However she couldn't fool me. I always felt her desire. I just had to pull it out of her.
When I told her my name, and to hear it come from her beautiful lips. I was in heaven. I wanted to hear her say it every day. I wanted her to just whisper in my ear anything she wanted, and I wouldn't care what it was, as long as it was her sweet voice.
That day, my last day, on the fold I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her how much I love her, what I wanted, but I didn't have the energy. I wanted to tell her my original plans. I wanted to tell her my one dream. I wanted to laugh at the same time. My mother said once that she'd be my undoing, while I said she'd be my balance. I said she'd balance out all of the sins I have done, and here she is doing both. Killing me with her own bare hands, ad balancing me. Having the light rule over the dark. But I can die happy. At least she was by me at the end, but my one regret is that I didn't accomplish my dream. My only wish before I died.
Because all I wanted was to be her hero.
Hey guys! This is my first one-shot/Fanfiction. Tell me what you guys think!