It was a cold December. The kind of cold that etches into your bones. They hadn't been able to leave the bunker, and within just a week, Dean began losing it. "Find something, anything," he said to Sam who was making his way through a workout routine that he had devised for when he couldn't get in his morning run.

"The Impala can't handle this weather, Dean. Just accept it." Sam went from push-ups to sit-ups. Dean leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. It wasn't like Kansas had been covered in snow, but everything was frozen. The roads were covered in a sheet of black ice, and driving was most definitely a risk. Other parts of the U.S. had gotten snow, so much of it in fact, that the news broadcasters of the world were calling it the storm of the century, and no one disagreed.

"She can handle it. The roads have been cleared in most of the worst places, and there's bound to be something in maybe a warmer climate. Look into Florida maybe or Texas." Dean started bouncing a little, popping on and off the wall in a visible display of his frustration at being cooped up.

"You'd still have to drive to Texas or Florida, unless you've gotten over your fear of flying." Dean scowled at him. "Hardly matters. The only thing I found was that one Yeti thing, and that was not even worth considering." Sam got up now and plucked a towel off a chair and mopped up his sweat. "You know, you're perfectly capable of using the Internet too. I haven't heard any brilliant suggestions from you."

"Maybe that's because I thought the Yeti thing was credible, and you and Cas shot me down. Still don't get how you don't see it. I mean, it is so not animal attacks."

"I just don't see it, Dean. Plus it is way up in the High Sierras. You're gonna have to put chains on the Impala if you plan to make it up there."

"Like that would be a big deal. She can handle it." Dean felt that Baby deserved a bit of defense. He huffed out a bit of frustration into the conversation.

Sam picked up a jump rope that was hanging over on a hook. He found a clear spot and started jumping. The rhythm of it would have been soothing if Dean had not been so worked up. "You think it's something, then you can go check it out. I'm staying."

"It's not a one man job. I mean if it is something like a Yeti, or whatnot, then I'm gonna need backup." Dean felt like he might be able to mount a convincing argument. Sam began jumping faster, the rope now a blur of white spiralling around him. "You wouldn't want me to get hurt out there or do something stupid." He knew that last part was a risk, but he didn't want to go alone. It would be almost as bad as just staying in the bunker watching Sam excersize.

"Take Cas then," Sam said it so casually while continuing to jump rope that Dean didn't know how to respond. He and Cas didn't really do hunts without Sam. Yeah, there had been the odd thing here and there where Sam would end up going off to research while they took care of other stuff, but nothing that was completely just them. Well, there was that one time… He cut off his thoughts. It had been a long time ago. He didn't like to think about things he couldn't fix and that time was full of unfixables.

"Pretty sure he's busy."

"Pretty sure he's not." Sam stopped jumping. Finally. Dean pushed off the wall and walked out. Guess it won't hurt to ask.

Cas didn't even think about it. Dean asked, and Cas said he would go. He added that he did not think that there was a credible threat. That served to irk Dean a bit more, but he would take what he could get.

They had managed to drive all the way to Nevada without incident, even making it into the Sierras without adding chains. The roads had been cleared for the most part, and the blanket of snow that surrounded them made everything seem fresh and new.

The town that they came to in the dead of the night was largely a ghost town. No one wanted to stay in a place where so much unexplained violence had recently occurred. Most just thought that it was a series of wild animal attacks, but there were those who said it was something else, something they couldn't quite explain. At least that's what they said in the news reports that Sam had read.

Dean parked the Impala near the dimly lit office of the Timber Cove Lodge. It was one of the few places in the tiny town that seemed to be open. It was mostly a collection of tiny cabins, unlike the usual places that Dean found himself in while on a hunt. Dean hauled out the bags and made his way to the office to check in, leaving Cas at the car.

The office was dingy and everything felt like it was gritty, from the doorknob to the counter. Everything in the room was beige and covered in faux oak paneling that was likely installed in the mid-seventies. The old man sitting behind the counter was watching the tv. The ding of The Family Feud answers greeted Dean as he set down one of the bags he was carrying and leaned into the counter. "Hey there."

"Hey yourself," the man replied. He reached up and scratched at his bristly chin. "You a reporter or a fed?"

Dean was wearing a suit, so it was a reasonable question. He hadn't yet decided on a cover story. "Fed. Just investigating the recent violence you had up in the hills. I'll likely need a room for myself and my partner."

The man stood and looked past Dean out into the front lot where Cas was, leaning against the hood of the Impala just waiting for Dean to return. "Do you want two cabins?"

"That won't be necessary. Save the taxpayers a few bucks." Dean pulled out his wallet and selected a credit card.

"Well, I got two queens available in the cabin out yonder. It's pretty quiet around here, so you'll likely sleep just as well there as anywhere. Pretty much everyone that had reservations cancelled after the fourth attack. Don't know how the wife and I are going to make it without the usual seasonal traffic."

"Maybe things will look up once we figure out what led to all of the violence. Heard that it might have been an animal. Mind if I ask what you heard about all of this?"

The old man swiped Dean's credit card through the machine and set it back on the counter. He had a squint that looked like he was fighting off a headache or trying to get a read on Dean. Dean wasn't sure which it was. He maintained his neutral appearance so as to give the guy some confidence. The man drummed his fingers for a moment and looked at Dean. He ripped the receipt tape and set it on the counter for Dean to sign and said, "I'm a hunter. I've bagged some big creatures before, but nothing I've ever encountered could have done what was done to those people."

Dean tipped his head to the side. "You saw the bodies?"

"Yes, one of them was a friend of my wife's. I did the ID so she wouldn't have to. I wasn't close to him or anything, so it shouldn't have been much of a thing. Well, it kinda was." He fell silent for a moment. "It didn't kill to feed. It just tore him apart. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say the claws that tore into him were roughly as thick as a broom handle. Claws aren't like that unless the creature's huge."

"So it's a big animal attack?"

"No, someone is killing people and making it look like an animal attack. Like I said, no animal has claws like that unless they are huge, and there are no animals that size, at least not that I've encountered. So you need to be careful if you venture out there looking for it." The man reached under the counter with that pronouncement and brought up an old key with a hanging orange plastic fob. "Here ya go. If you get hungry, there's a couple of places downtown that'll welcome your business."

Dean turned to go, stooping to pick up the bag at his feet as he did so. "Thanks for the info. Also, is there a place where we can rent something that will get us through the snow? We might need to trek up into the mountains a bit to see one of the crime scenes."

"Yeah, just check out Eddie's place. It's in town. You really won't have trouble finding anything around here. Town is one street. Eddie's a nice guy, rents skis and snowmobiles, so you should find something useful there."

"Well, thanks again." Dean shoved the door open and the cold blast of air slapped him in the face. Cas seemed unaffected by the weather that was rough to say the least. His hair was windblown, but other than that, he didn't seem to look at all different. Dean gave Cas a nod and they both started walking off to the other end of the property. There were a number of little cabins dotting the area, all of which were part of the little resort. Dean quickly located theirs and considered moving the Impala closer. Maybe later. They had already practically arrived at the doorstep anyway. He shivered a little with the next harsh wind that buffeted him at the door.

Cas reached out and took the key as Dean's hand was shaking. "You're freezing." It was the first thing Cas had said in the last hour.

"No shit." His teeth were chattering now and Dean thought that he shouldn't be this cold. They just walked from the office to the cabin, a mere 50 yards away.

Cas pushed the door open and with his other hand on Dean's back propelled him into the equally cold room. Dean stomped his feet a couple of times to loosen up any snow that might have hitched a ride into the room from the parking lot. Cas walked past him to the fireplace and with a flick of his hand, flames sprang up in the space. Dean tossed the bags onto the end of the bed and came over to the new warmth and Cas' side.

"Guy in the office doesn't think that it's an animal. Said it was something pretending to be an animal." Dean held his hands out in front of him trying to catch the heat from the fire.

Cas was watching him, then said, "I'm somewhat inclined to agree with your brother though. It does seem more like an actual animal."

This was basically what he had said in the car over an hour ago. It is also the very thing that led to them not talking for a bit. Dean felt in his bones that he was right. He really just wanted Cas to agree with him. He humphed out a breath of frustration and pulled his hands to his mouth to blow warmth onto them. Cas watched him, face all serious in the dark room that neither of them bothered to address beyond the starting of the fire. The light switch was over by the door and Dean was unwilling to leave the fire to turn it on. "It's something. If you don't think so, why'd you come?" Dean practically glared at him, but was too cold to give the look much menace.

Cas reached out and took his hands into his own. Dean stiffened a little at the unexpected act. Cas' own hands seemed to fully blanket Dean's. Cas dropped his head a little, and Dean felt warmth course through him. The shivering stopped and his hands were warm. "I decided that when a Winchester goes off on his own, he tends to make bad choices. Since your brother seemed content to not wander off on his own, you became the person to focus upon. Following you into the middle of nowhere to keep you out of trouble is what I do, and why I am here."

Dean pulled his hands back, thankfully warmer, and he puffed up a little as he said, "I don't need a goddamn babysitter."

Cas hummed a non-committally in response and turned more fully to the fire than to Dean. "Are you saying that you want me to go?"

Dean was about to reply in anger, but stopped before the words found a path into the space between them. He didn't want Cas to go. He never wanted Cas to go. He didn't want to be alone either. Cas began to move off to the door as if he were going to assume that Dean's silence meant yes. "No, don't go." Dean's words were more subdued now. They settled into the room, into the flickering orange light that filled the space between them.

"Okay then."

"Could you at least pretend that you agree with me?"

Cas was not good at some things. Pretending was one of them. "Sure Dean, there is a demon, monster, creature in the woods that is clawing people to death. I'm sure we will find him and vanquish him."

"Shut up." Dean gave him a shove and turned to unpack his bag. There was no bite in his words, and Cas may have laughed a little as Dean turned his back on him.

They fell into silence for a bit as Dean sorted out his clothes, intending to start the search for their mystery creature in the morning. Cas sat at the window staring out into the darkness. Dean's gaze lingered for a moment or two. Cas had been quieter lately, more contemplative. He wondered what was occupying Cas' mind during the moments that he seemed to be off somewhere else.

"Gonna shower and hit the hay," Dean scooped up a t-shirt and clean boxer briefs and wandered into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and noted the tiny lines forming at the edges of his eyes. Old. He thought this every now and again. He wasn't really, but he felt it sometimes when he took a punch or when he had to run at break-neck speeds from whatever evil they were dealing with in the moment. Too old for this. Now that was probably a more accurate thought. Hunters usually had an expiration date that took care of this kind of thing. One day you're fighting, then the next you're dead. The saga ends and you aren't old anymore. Dean though had wondered if it would ever really end for him. How could it when your best friend was an angel and your brother was tenacious?

He stripped down and got into the shower. He started the water and yelped as the first spray of icy water hit his skin. He moved back and let it warm up before venturing back under the stream. The pressure of it was like a waterfall was pouring directly into the little tiled space. He let out a low hum of approval and set to work washing up.

He considered Cas sitting as he had been out in the other room. Dean wondered what Cas would do while he slept. Would he watch like he use to? It didn't really bother Dean anymore. Would he wander off and start the search while Dean slept? This also seemed like a likely option. His hands ran up into his hair to scrub the generic shampoo into his scalp. He hoped that Cas would wait for him before searching out the thing that was likely not an animal at all.

Dean plucked up the tiny bar of motel soap off of the tray and unwrapped it. The waxy paper fell down into the bathtub. He stooped to retrieve it and felt the soreness of a day spent in the car. The warm water trickled down his back, somewhat soothing away the day. Maybe have Cas mojo the rest of the ache away. He thought about it more though and decided that doing that meant acknowledging that he wasn't handling simple things very well anymore. Plus, if he couldn't handle riding in a car, then he shouldn't be fighting demons and such.

He stood back up, and tipped his head back into the stream of water. He ran the soap over his body, the water sending the soap away almost immediately in bubbly rivulets over his hardened muscles. He considered alleviating other issues as he looked down and saw that his body was interested in a hands-on connection. He glanced toward the shower curtain thinking about how there was just a thin door between him and Cas. His body begged for more attention, with the thought. He reached back and turned the water temperature down. Angel ears don't need to be hearing that.

He moved the soap over himself quicker in an effort toward getting things done. His body was still not getting the message that this shower was a business shower, not a pleasure shower. He looked at the curtain again and considered his personal space and his ability to maybe be quiet. He reached back and turned the water temperature back up. He settled his hands on his thighs for a moment before he settled on taking care of his needs.

He congratulated himself on his ability to be efficient and quiet. His thoughts centered mostly on abstract things while he had worked his fist around himself, the feel of a warm body pressed to his back, breathing kisses into his neck. He thought of strong hands that were not his own holding him, pulling him back tight to a body that was muscle and heat. That the body even in the abstract was not a woman was of little importance. He careened over the edge of satisfaction on a quiet moan, settling his head on the tiled wall with a grin. The last image his mind supplied before he had fallen over the edge, was all dark hair and blue eyes. If he considered it long enough, he'd have to acknowledge that it was Cas that he thought of, but instead of considering it much, he just stood back up, cleaned up, and got out of the shower.

The steam followed him out into the main room. Cas was still sitting where he had left him by the window looking out at the world. He turned to Dean as he came back into the room. There was something in the look that he gave Dean that was best described as piercing. Then he spoke, "Did you have a nice shower, Dean?" And Dean swore there was something else in the tone, a near accusation of sorts. He suddenly felt a little more naked in his boxer briefs and tight black t-shirt. Blood rushed up to his face and he turned away a little to cover the heat of that blush. Why didn't I grab the sweat pants? He walked over to his bag and rummaged about for something to add to his attire. There were no sweatpants in his bag. Damn it, I'm gonna be sleeping in this I guess.

He realized then that he hadn't answered Cas yet. How was the shower? Well, it was fucking awesome, if I were being downright frank with you. Instead he opted for something a little less enthusiastic. "It was fine."

Cas hummed his acknowledgement and watched him as he continued to rummage through his bag for nothing. It was a mere activity for his hands. Cas got up and came over to him, standing at his side while he searched, shuffling clothes from one side to the other. "Do you feel better now?"

That's an odd question. "Uh, yeah. Fresh as the new fallen snow. How 'bout you, Cas? You feel better?"

"I'm not the one that was on edge." Cas had his head tipped down and when Dean directed his attention to him it struck him, the way that Cas looked at him upward though his long, dark lashes.

Dean swallowed back a lump that rose up threatening to become words that were maybe stupid and not helpful. Instead he said, with a hint of defensiveness lacing the words, "I wasn't on edge."

"Okay." Cas reached out and touched the edge of the bag before adding, "What are you looking for?"

"I wasn't on edge." He felt the need to repeat it and also to not admit that he was searching for something that he knew full well wasn't in the bag.

Cas withdrew his hand from the bag and retreated a step. "If you say so."

"Truth be told, I'm sore. Driving fourteen hours will do that to you." Dean gave up on the bag. He pulled it off the bed and dropped it on the floor near his feet. Cas looked down at it. Dean wandered around to the bed and pulled back the covers, intending to sleep. Cas picked up the bag and took it to the desk where he set it down. Then he walked over to Dean who was now sitting on the bed.

"I could help with the soreness." Dean just stared up at him. Cas was still wearing the trench coat and blue striped tie. There was something about that that made Dean feel even more naked than before. Dean pulled his legs up onto the bed and slid them between the crisp white sheets. Cas came down to a crouch at the side of the bed. "I wish you'd just ask me for my assistance. There's no reason for you to suffer when I can heal you."

"Didn't want to be a bother."

Cas rolled his eyes and then settled on a low level scowl. "Dean Winchester, you are infuriating." He rested a hand on the bed next to Dean and pushed himself into a standing position again. The better to glare down at me. "Why did I keep my grace if not to heal you when the need arose? At this rate, I'd be better off casting it aside."

Dean sat up a little. "What are you talking about? You kept your grace because it's part of you. It isn't just for healing me."

"If you say so."

Dean settled a hand on Cas' wrist before he could turn away like he seemed intent on doing. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I only kept it because you seem to need it. The thought of you getting seriously injured and me not being able to do a thing to fix it is one of the few things that I find frightening. If it weren't for that fear, I'd toss it away in an instant." Cas didn't retreat or look away. Dean felt his breathing hitch up a bit.

"Why would you want to toss your grace away?" Dean sat up more and Cas came down to a crouch.

"Without it, I'd be able to age with you. There would be an end to all of this living, and sometimes, I think that it would be nice to go through that at your side, like a human." Cas' voice had a tone of absolute seriousness. Dean could only stare at him, then he felt his fingers grip Cas' wrist just a little more.

"I don't like the thought of you dying." Dean didn't know what else to say. What he said was true, but there was so much else to comment on in the proclamation that Cas had just offered up. He wants to grow old at my side. He wants to be human. Then Dean came back to the part that bothered him again. He wants there to be an end to the living. Cas wants to die. Shit. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that maybe his comment now was the most important.

"If if helps, I have no intention of dying anytime too soon." Cas smiled as he said it and turned his arm a bit until his hand was able to grip Dean's wrist too. It was an odd posture, Dean's hand wrapped around Cas' wrist, Cas' hand now wrapped around Dean's. Cas' thumb swiped back and forth a couple of times, and Dean thought that it felt like affection. "Now, let me heal the soreness, and you can go to sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow, finding your yeti."

Dean scowled up at him now. "It's not a yeti." Then he saw that Cas was making fun of him, and added, "You're a little shit."

"Roll over."

"Uh, why?" Dean let go of Cas' wrist and Cas did the same.

"If you are laying down, ready for sleep, after I heal you, you can just close your eyes and drift off." Cas made a rolling motion with his hand to signify that Dean should get with the program.

He rolled over, thinking about how Cas could just quickly tap his forehead and all would be well in an instant. Cas was adding extra steps. Dean didn't mind though. His head was cushioned in the fluffy white pillow. His hands were tucked up under that too. The blanket felt warm around him. Cas pulled it back a little and set his palms flat against Dean's back. The warmth that came from his touch moved through his shirt, over skin, and then past it into his muscles. The passage of the grace through him was slow, like Cas was taking a slow journey through all that was Dean Winchester.

This was more than healing; it was comfort, and comfort took time. Cas had all the time in the world it seemed. Dean turned his head slowly on the pillow so that he was facing Cas. He felt Cas' hands move in circles, kneading at his flesh as he still sent out rivulets of grace through muscles and joints sore and stiff from their journey. He felt looser now, like his body was putty. It was nice. He felt his mouth curling up into a grin. His eyes had been closed despite rolling over to face Cas.

He cracked open an eye just a little and saw that Cas was staring down at him as he pressed comfort into him. Cas' face held a look of something that caused Dean to open his eyes fully. Cas' one hand ran up over Dean's shoulders to his neck, and each finger pressed into the muscles there. It was exquisite. Cas looked at his face as he worked. His lips were a solid line of intent. His eyes seemed relaxed like he would be content to do this forever. Dean wondered at that, at how long he could let Cas touch him before it would become something else. Maybe it's already something else.

Cas' fingers moved up to his scalp and rubbed and scratched a bit there. Dean's eyes fell shut again. He wanted to roll over and pull Cas to him. He wanted to feel his cheek pressed to his own. He wanted to feel Cas' bare shoulders under his own two hands. He wanted to know if lying under him would feel like he was finally, finally beneath something that wasn't the weight of the world, but instead safety and home and...What the hell.

Somewhere in the midst of his thoughts he had fallen asleep. How long Cas touched him, he wouldn't know. When he woke up in the morning though, it was with that thought, what the hell, because Dean remembered even after the best night's sleep of his life, that a bridge had been crossed, and that perhaps he would not be able to let himself go back.

AN: This is a completed fic. It is 20k. I am posting a chapter a day for 4 days until it is all up. I made a cover for it which you can see on ao3 or on my tumblr at spearywritesstuff.