Writing feels like this really helps me to get over writer's block. So sorry, but I need to do this.
I Won...
Merlin held Arthur as he died. Just sat on the banks of the lake of Avalon the very place that was suppose to save him, but he had failed as a servant, as a friend, as a love.
Merlin cried as he felt his King's life force drift away from his body and off to a place Merlin would never know since he could not die. He and Arthur would never be reunited in death as they would sometimes morbidly joke about. Now that part if Arthur's destiny was complete the immortal part of Emrys would begin and Merlin would live. Always.
Merlin let the tears roll down his face as he sent the King's body off in the boat.
Merlin cried as he watched the boat drift into a realm he could not enter.
Merlin sobbed as he returned to Camelot with one fewer person.
Merlin choked on the words as he told Gwen that their King was dead.
"Long live the Queen!" The words were hallow as he chanted them.
Merlin dragged his husk to the room he used to share. His feet seemed to be made of lead as he felt he didn't have the energy to collapse into the bed that would now always be cold. Instead he barely made it inside the door before sliding down the wall to the floor as heavy sobs racked his body.
"You never asked me how I felt." Merlin whispered into the empty room as tears ripped at his heart, "You always did assume I would die first. Well, look at me. I won." He murmured as he succumbed to another sobbing fit. "Now, PLEASE, please come back now." That was all he got out before his emotions stole his ability to speak.
He remained leaning against the wall in a tight ball for the rest of the night.
"Merlin, love, go to sleep. I am with you." Is the last thing he heard from him for a very long time.
"But you are not."