In response to the fan fic challenge on JustBreathe.tv. Happy Reading! :)
- I Disclaim -
Prolonged Silence:
There was a soft knock on her door. Clearing her throat, she stood from her couch and walked towards it to open it. Her heart raced with fear. Nervousness filled each breath she took. What she was about to do, would be one of the hardest things she ever had to do in her life.
The door swung open, and on the other side stood the man she has loved most of her adult life. A gray streak was mixed in with the black hair, a sign that he was getting older. That was the only tell-tale sign. His eyes were just as dark and mysterious. His skin still smooth and mocha colored. Being this close to him again, made her even more regretful.
"Alexis." He greeted her, as the silence lingered. "You called me?"
"Yes, Sonny." replied Alexis Davis with a small smile. "Please, come in."
She stood off to the side, letting him walk past her into her apartment. He stopped and looked around, having never been there, he needed to familiarize himself with her home. He's missed her terribly, and she him. Now here they stood, fourteen years later, strangers.
"How have you been?" asked Sonny, waiting for her to close the door and come further into the room.
"Good." Alexis smiled, closed the door, and walked over to the couch. "Being a Federal Judge has it's perks. Please, sit. Would you like something to drink?"
Sonny shook his head no, while taking in the sight of her. She was fourteen years older, but just as beautiful as the first time he laid eyes on her. Her brown hair was darker now from dying it. Something he knew she did not to feel as old. Regardless, she was still beautiful.
Alexis sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. She didn't know what to say to him, or even where to begin. The time they spent apart changed them thoroughly. Pushing the nervousness out of her system, she smiled once more.
"I know you're wondering why I asked you to come here." began Alexis, softly. "I just. . .it's been a long time and. . .I feel now is the time to tell you what I should have said long ago." She exhaled sharply as Sonny turned and inquisitive ear to her. "First, let me say, that I am so sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. We were adults and things happened between us that. . . We were friends, first and foremost, and I forgot that during a time when I should have remembered it. I should have remembered that you would never do anything, intentionally, to hurt me. And if you would have known the repercussions of. . . I'm sorry."
"Breathe." said Sonny, softly. His eyes bored into hers, reading her again for the first time in a long time. She still had the deepest eyes of anyone he'd ever met. Eyes he's missed.
"You haven't said that in a long time."
Sonny nodded. "How's Kristina?"
Alexis felt her heart skip a beat. "She's fine. Most beautiful girl in the world." said Alexis, proudly. "She's starting college in the fall and is so thrilled. She's going to Stanford, and while I hate that she wants to go so far, she's so excited."
"Wow." said Sonny, with a hint of hurt in his voice.
He looked at the picture on the coffee table, and Alexis was right, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She was tall like her mother, her long brown hair down to her back. Her eyes were deep and dark, her skin slightly tinted, her smile bright and dimples deep.
"She's beautiful." said Sonny, in a hushed whisper.
"She's the reason I asked you to come." revealed Alexis, her heart and pulse racing. She couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes. "I should have told you this a long time ago." She took a deep breath and prepared herself for whatever outcome. "Kristina is your daughter, Sonny."
The next words to come out of Sonny's mouth surprised Alexis more than anything ever had.
"I know."
A shocked gasp flowed from her parted lips. "You knew?"
Sonny nodded. "I may not have graduated from high school, Alexis, but I can count." Alexis shook her head in confusion. "And I also knew you pretty well. You would never sleep with your sister's fiancé."
"You knew all along?" asked Alexis, incredulously. Sonny nodded. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because she was happy. And you were right. My life would have destroyed her. . .and you."
Alexis didn't know what to say. She had lived with the supposedly 'secret' knowledge of her daughter's parentage for eighteen years now. Fretted over telling him the truth. Wondering how things would have been different. Wondering if things could have been better for her daughter growing up. Only to find out that it had all been in vain. That Sonny had known all along. And had done the most selfless act anyone has ever committed. Giving up the right to be in their child's life. She fell in love with him all over again.
"I know that when. . .things happened between us. . you loved me. I knew that it was a risk for us to be together. Not so much for your safety, but that it would change you."
"I don't understand."
"You were, and always have been, an independent person. Bein' in a relationship with me. . .on that level. . .you would have been put in a cage. I would have worried about your safety, in effect drivin' you insane with all the protection. Your practice would have suffered. You would have lost some friends. Our relationship would have put you in a glass case. And I couldn't do that to you."
"That's why you came to the apartment that night." said Alexis, the pieces of the puzzle coming together. "That's why you said that you would always love Carly. You knew I would send you back to her." Sonny nodded. "Did you love her then?"
"I loved Carly as the mother of my son. But I was never in love with Carly. I married her that first time because you told me to. I married her the second time because you pointed out it would be good for Michael, who I had just adopted. I married her the third time because you sent me to her."
So many unanswered questions swarmed in Alexis' mind. Questions she was afraid to ask.
"So, you were never in love with Carly. You always knew Kristina was yours. Why didn't you say anything to me?"
Sonny sighed. "There are a number of reasons. All of them stupid now, but the main one being' that Kristina was happy. She was healthy, happy and me being in her life would have ruined that. You and I were not on good terms durin' your pregnancy or after for that matter and. . .I would have ruined both your lives."
"What else?" asked Alexis, knowing him, seeing in his eyes there was something else.
"Carly." answered Sonny, and watched the brief flash of regret in Alexis' eyes. "What most people, including Jason, don't know, is that Carly was insane. That stint she did at Ferncliffe was not a ruse. She was. . .insane. She suffered dementia, paranoia, depression. She was literally unstable. My worst fear was that if I left her. . .or let on that I was puttin' another child ahead of our own, that she would hurt Kristina."
Alexis laughed subtly. "That explains a lot." She shook her head. "I shouldn't talk about a dead woman like that." she berated herself. "Why didn't you come to me after she was killed in that car accident?"
"Because Kristina was happy. And I. . .was heart-broken at the loss of Morgan. Michael was already angry with us for keepin' him from A. J. after he found out the truth about his mother, and he was gone. And I just. . ." He cut himself off, the pain too near. "Why didn't you come to me?"
Alexis sighed. "Because I was under the impression that you loved your wife. I couldn't come to you after the death of Carly and Morgan and tell you the truth about Kristina. I just. . .I knew the pain that would cause you, and I couldn't put you through that." She told him. "And then a month later, Jason said you had left Port Charles. And I was appointed judge and moved here to D. C."
She sat there quietly for a moment, just staring into Sonny's eyes. They had spent years apart because they both were afraid of hurting the other, and yet, they did it anyway. They spent years being alone and hurting. Maybe now they could fix it.
"Do you regret not being in her life?" asked Alexis after a moment.
"Sometimes." answered Sonny, softly, lowering his eyes. He glanced over to the picture. "But I knew she was with you and she was safe. I also knew that with me bein' out of the country, no one would ever question whether I was her father, and my enemies couldn't get her." Alexis nodded, understandingly. "Do you regret it?"
"Every day of her life." responded Alexis, her voice straining with emotion as tears slipped down her cheeks. "I know what it felt like to grow up without both parents and I wanted better for her."
The two former friends stared at each for a long time. Neither wanting the renewed bond to be broken. Both feeling free, finally, of their burdens. But one questions still lingered in Alexis' mind. And now, she was brave enough to ask.
"You said that you were never in love with Carly. And that when. . .things. . .happened between us, you knew I was in love with." Sonny nodded. "How did you feel about me?"
Sonny smiled. "Do you even have to ask that?"
"No." responded Alexis with a smile. Sonny nodded. "But I'd like to hear the words."
Sonny moved closer to her and grabbed her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed, all the while taking in her unforgettable scent. He's dreamed about touching her skin. Feeling her heart beating next to his.
"I was in love with you the moment I sat down at your dinner table and you set me straight. I was in love with you when you defended me. I was in love with you when you moved into the penthouse across the hall. I was in love with you then, and I'm in love with you now."
Alexis smiled, and felt her heart skip a beat when Sonny leaned in and seized her mouth with a sweet prolonged kiss. This was the kiss she had waited a long time for. The kiss she knew would bring closure to the worst part of her life. The kiss that would seal them together forever.
"I'm not sure if we can be together." began Sonny, softly, as they parted. "But I just want you to know that I love you. I always have, and I always will."
"I love you, too." said Alexis, sadly. "I always will. And. . .if you want to be a part of Kristina's life, I am more than willing for that to happen."
"Thank you." replied Sonny with a grateful smile. He kissed her hand again. "Let's just take it one step at a time, ok?"
Alexis nodded. "The first step being, telling Kristina you are her father. I never told her." revealed Alexis, regretfully.
Sonny smiled. "We can tell her together."
Alexis smiled brightly, Sonny with her. They would be a family. . .somehow. They might not be a normal family. . .but what family is?
- End -
