Ok, this is my first Castle fanfiction and my first fic posted here, but not the first one I've written. Don't know how good this is but it's been rattling around in my brain for months and I just needed to get it out. This story is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.
Obligatory disclaimer: I don't own Castle the show or any of it's characters. If I did you would see a bit more physical contact between Castle and Beckett:) This story is just for fun.
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Beckett felt her irritation level rising. She had been doing mind numbing paperwork for several hours now and her shoulders were tight and it felt like a little man was banging on the bongo drums inside her head. What she wouldn't give for a pain killer right about now.
And to make matters worse Castle had been fidgeting in his seat every few minutes for about half of those hours. In fact, he was particularly agitated today, she thought. She briefly wondered why and then in her irritation decided she didn't care. All she knew was that if he didn't sit still very soon she was going to shoot him.
Kate tolerated it for several more minutes before she finally cracked.
"Castle!" she yelled.
Castle jumped and looked over at Beckett in confusion. "What? What did I do?" he asked, a bit ashamed to hear how high pitched his voice was.
"Will you quit fidgeting, it's annoying" Beckett snapped.
Rick hadn't been aware of the fact that he'd been fidgeting. He supposed it was possible but he was so distracted it hadn't registered. He had something on his mind and he had to find a way to tell Kate. He wasn't sure how she would take his news. In fact, he wasn't real sure how he felt about it. Mostly annoyed, he decided. He tried really hard to sit still, he didn't want to annoy Kate any more than he already had.
After a few minutes Beckett couldn't take any more. She turned abruptly and face Castle making him jump.
"Ok, I don't like it when you are too still either. What's going on, you are all over the place today?"
"Well, I just can't win with you today can I?" Castle said, with a touch of acid in his tone. Beckett looked over at him surprised by his tone. He really wasn't himself today. Now she was getting curious about what was making him so unlike his usual self.
Castle let out a loud sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you" he said quietly "You're right, I do have something on my mind and I really need to talk to you about it"
Beckett put down her pen and turned slightly to face him, giving him her full attention. Castle felt a bit self concious under her scrutiny. He cleared his throat nervously and tried to gather his thoughts.
"Well.." he shifted in his seat uncomfortably "as you know I sometimes have to do things for Black Pawn Publishing that are written into my contract with them..."
At the mention of Black Pawn he saw Kate stiffen slightly and nod her head tersely, indicating that he should continue. He suspected that she really didn't like Gina and probably wouldn't like what he was about to tell her.
He took a deep breath and continued "It's written in my contract that I have to attend at least one event per year as designated by my publisher, who you know is Gina..." he paused for a moment and watched the disdain slide quickly across Kate s face, it was so quick in fact that he thought he might have imagined it. When she didn't say anything he took another deep breath and prepared to get the rest of what he had to say out as quick as possible.
"Gina says, and this is non-negotiable,that I have to accompany her to that new Ski Resort that just opened in the mountains. She is hosting an event for several big investors there and they have requested that she bring her top selling authors to a meet and greet type of event..." he trailed off as he watched Kate's eyes darken with anger but she didn't say a word. She just sat stiffly in her chair staring at him.
As he was about to continue Beckett just stood, without saying a word to him, and walked swiftly to the break room. She was fuming inside. What did Gina think she was up to? Was this a thinly veiled attempt to get Castle back? He wouldn't go back to her, would he? He had told Kate that he loved her. Of course, he didn't know that she remembered his confession but she did, and it was with her every day, comforting her. He would keep waiting for her wouldn't he?
She stood immobile in front of the coffee machine, her heart pounding. This was not good. Had she waited too long to tell him that she had heard his confession, and that she loved him too? She dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes, squeezing back the tears that threatened to fall. She really needed to get out of here, run, get away. She turned on her heel and headed for the elevator.
Castle watched all this, paralysed in his seat. As Beckett reached the elevator and stabbed the button Castle suddenly found his feet and took off after her. He reached the elevator as the doors were sliding shut. He put his hands up to try and stop the doors closing but he was too late. He slammed his palm against the door in frustration. This is exactly what he had feared would happen.
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Kate wandered about the streets aimlessly for a while, trying desperately to get herself under control. She was so hurt and upset and she didn't really understand why. And she was angry, that was the overwhelming feeling. Angry at Gina, angry at Castle and angry at herself. Why did this have to be so damned complicated?
The little voice inside her head said to her Well, it doesn't need to be this complicated. You are making it complicated. She sneered at herself. Even her inner voice was against her today.
She had been walking for a while and not taking any notice of where she was going. She stopped when she realized where she was. She was standing right outside of her therapists office. Her feet had carried her to the one person who knew all of her secrets. She thought to herself, what the hell, I'm here now I might as well go in and find out if he can see me. She hoped that he could help her make sense of things so that she could go back and talk to Castle rationally.
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"So Kate, what brings you here today for an unscheduled visit" Dr. Burke asked her in his quiet, kindly voice.
Kate spent the next half an hour recounting her day to her Doctor. When she was finished she was surprised to find her cheeks wet, she had been crying and didn't realize it. As she wiped her eyes Dr. Burke regarded her thoughtfully.
"Tell me Kate, do you trust Rick?"
Kate replied without thought "Yes, with my life!"
"What about your heart, Kate?"
Beckett just stared at the doctor blankly, like she didn't quite understand what he was asking.
After a few minutes without an answer the doctor tried a different approach.
"So what do you think will happen with Gina while Rick is away? Do you think he will go back to her?"
Kate, who had been examining her finger nails intently, looked up at the Doctor and shrugged. "I don't know. He hasn't exactly had the best track record with long term committed relationships. Gina was his last girlfriend, and he used to be married to her."
"Kate, what do you mean when you refer to his track record?"
"He's been married twice. He's been with a lot of women, some of them while he's been working with me. And then there was his five month relationship with Gina last year"
The doctor put up hand to stop her tirade. "Have you ever asked him why his marriages failed? There must be a reason..."
"Of course there was a reason, he's a womaniser, he probably cheated on both of them" she said bitterly.
"Now you are just assuming, you don't know for certain. Think for a moment about the man you have come to know. Do you think he is a cheater? Do you think he would cheat on you if you were together? Do you think he would cheat on you now, even though you aren't together yet?"
Dr. Burke saw Kate deflate. The fight had gone out of her.
Be honest now he said.
Kate actually had definite proof that he wouldn't cheat on her even though they weren't together yet. He could have had a fling with Serena when they were investigating that murder at the museum several months ago, but he didn't. He also turned down Natalie Rhodes. She looked up at him and said "Honestly..." she stopped and took a deep breath "no, I don't think he would she said with absolute conviction."
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Ok, what did you think? Reviews and constructive advice welcome, flames are not. Thanks.
