Once upon a time a jedi named jay was feeling… sexually frustrated. He was dirivng through space in his space car with his frend dan who was also a jedi and had a pink light saber.

"hey we could stop down there and get some good food" dan said as they past by a planet with a STARWARbucks.

"don't they just sell coffee though?" jay asked.

"well dude, they sell other things too!" dan said as he stared at his awesome pink lightsaber. "like snacks!"

"mmm. I guess that could help fill our stomachs. Maybe we could grab our friend beej and get him to come along?" jay said.

"he's busy, at the jedi academy" sayed dan who was replying to jay.

"aw….." jay say

Jay and dan then parked down at the planet and went to the STARWARbucks

They got their drinks and some snacks and sat down. Dan started taking selifes and uploading them to instarwarsgram.

Jay, however… kept looking at a… handsome, slender, tall, and sEXY man… person, thing. It was jar jar binks.

"hey… you think he's cute?" dan said as he shoulder bumped jay.

"…k-kinda." Jay replied, blushing.

"ok well you should ask him out. I'm only into humans but I can see what you like about that guy" dan say

"ok…" jay said. Then jar jar got up and approached him first.

"meesa think your cute teehee" said jar jar. He reached out a hand to jay. Jay blushed and grabbed the hand.

"daddy…" jay said.

"meesa is your daddy…" jar jar said.

Then they started unclothing each other while kissing right then and there and then they did things on the table. Dan didn't notice, he was too busy uploading selfies onto Tumblsrawrats

"wow I like this selfie I look hot" dan said as he opened an app to send it to his girlfriend.

"oh meesa! Oh meesa!" jar jar said.

"daddy" jay cried.

It went on for an hour and both of them came like 12 times. They were going for a 13th before dan opened his camera and suddenly he had the back camera view and screamed. He got kicked out for disrupting the beauty of binks on ess (jay's last name) action. Then jar jar and jay left in jay's ship stranding dan on the planet. They had a lot of crazy space car fun time and went on many dates. Jar jar was the perfect daddy to jay… who started calling himself jay jay. Then one day on their two year anniversary they got married at the same starwarsbucks. Dan was till there, stranded and living off of starbucks. Dan stood there, now wearing earrings and using an ipad to take selfies as he drunk more starwarsbucks and had his hair slicked back.

"im so on fleek" dan said. "such Gucci hair today"

"omg that's so gay and I literally just got done having gay sex with my boyfriend" jar jar said.

"yeah too bad im only your bofriend daddy" jay jay said.

"well… I was gonna ask u if wanted to be my hubby" jar jar asked.

Jay jay cried and said yes.

Everyone cheered.

"no you cant do it! I was wrong about him! Hes not good for you, he's turned you into someone else" dan yelled. "you should have gone out with our friend beej instead, even if he was stuck at jedi academy all the time…. You two would have been perfet for each other!"

"sorry I forgot your name," jay jay said. "but I had a falling out with him. I no longer talk to him and no lojnger wish to, ever."

Dan cried in fear for his friend. Oh the mistake he had made… or was it dan's mistake to misjudge their love?

At a five starwars hotel in space jay jay and jar jar had stayed. They got the special daddy suite room to share for one night only… the one with the… water beds.

"meesa have to tell you something," jar jar said.

"yes?" jay jay asked, hoping jar jar was about to make a move on him.

"I'm the fucking Darth Lord Sith and this entire time I've been lying about who I am. I'm going to be evil as fucking fuck and I'm basically the most powerful thing in existence. Do you still love me?" Jar Jar asked.

Jay Jay's eyes got watery. He sadness and sorrow well all inside him, deeply within. He knew that the past two years had been built on a foundation of lies, yet, in his heart; it still felt like a foundation of love.

"I don't care if you're not the Jar Jar I fell in love with! You may be completely different, but to me you're the same person!" Jay Jay boldly declared. He grabbed Jar Jar and pulled him forward, giving him a passionate kiss. Jar Jar kissed back, and then they wrapped their hands around each other.

Anyway jar jar and jay jay started conquering everything and then the great jedis, the last two jedis ever… Beej and Dan had started fighting them. Jar jar killed dan, but dan had taken a grenade out he had hidden inside of him with heavy doses of lube and sneakily glued it onto jarjar…

"just have to take care of this one last nuisance," jar jar said as he pointed his light saber at beej.

Then jar jar blew up.

"MY LOVE! NO!" jay jay yelled.

"but… I was your love! Or… I wanted to be…" beej said.

"you… and that other guy who we were friends with… YOU BOTH KILLED MY TRUE DADDY! MY TRUE LOVE!" jay jay yelled

"YOUR TRUE LUST!" beej yelled as he did a front flip forward and sliced down on jay jay.

Jay jay reflected the lightsber then knocked beej down. Oh goodness.

"why…" beej said as he reached out with his hand. Jay jay stepped on it.

"you… killed… daddy…"

"but… I…. had… to….."

"YOU KILLED DADDY!"

Jay jay then cut through beej with his lightsaber.

Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all:

What hast thou then more than thou hadst before?

No love, my love, that thou mayst true love call—

All mine was thine before thou hadst this more.

Then if for my love thou my love receivest,

I cannot blame thee for my love thou usest;

But yet be blamed if thou this self deceivest

By wilful taste of what thyself refusest.

I do forgive thy robb'ry, gentle thief,

Although thou steal thee all my poverty;

And yet love knows it is a greater grief

To bear love's wrong than hate's known injury.

Lascivious grace, in whom all ill well shows,

Kill me with spites, yet we must not be foes.

-Shakespeare