"Ouch, Robyn, how the hell did you get those?" I quickly pushed down my sleeve and sat up, too many people had accidently seen those, and I didn't need, or want another.

"How'd I get what?"

"Those cuts," Vic said, staring at me with his big, brown eyes, one of his most gorgeous features.

"The cat did it," I stared at the ground. He gave me a concerned look

"There's no use trying to make excuses," he slowly got up off the chair he was sitting on and took my hand in his, "When you hurt yourself, it hurts me,"

"Who said I was hurting myself," I denied as much as I could, even though it was just pathetic, Vic had obviously already seen through me, so there was really no point. He pushed my hair back off of my face, and looked deeply into my eyes, as if trying to stare into my soul.

"Talk to me," He whispered, caressing his hand around my cheek, "I don't want you to feel like this,"

"I just… everything with mom and dad, I don't think I could cope anymore,"

"Cutting won't solve anything," He sighed, pressing his forehead up against mine, "It'll just make things worse," I had no idea what he was doing, we were just friends, right? I felt tears well up in my eyes, it was the first time someone had seen my arm, and actually cared about me, cared enough to want to know what's wrong.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, staring back into his eyes.

"Don't be, we've all been there sometimes," he smiled, and I smiled back, referring to one of the songs we had written together, and before I could say the next line, Vic's lips were on mine, he was… kissing me, so I kissed back, I felt a wave of butterflies go through my stomach and I felt a connection, that I had never felt before, he parted, looked into my eyes and said, "But tonight, I'll make you feel beautiful once again," I blushed and stared at the ground, I really wasn't expecting this to happen, but it felt amazing, "But really Robyn, please stop, I love you, ok,"

"I love you too," I whispered, embracing him in a huge hug, I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time, 11:00 pm, "I have to go," I smiled sadly and looked into his deep brown eyes.

"Do you want me to walk you back," He replied, taking my hand, I wasn't used to this whole romantic thing, a few minutes ago Vic and I were just friends

"Sure," I paused, "Vic, I thought we were just friends,"

"We are," He smiled, "Just don't ever mention that moment again,"

The piercing noise of my alarm rang through my ears at 6:00 am, these dreams of Vic and I were becoming more repetitive, I know for a fact that Vic wouldn't react in that way if he found out about my cutting, I mean, no one would, in some of the dreams I have, he's accepting, in others, he really doesn't care, and in some, he completely flips out… I want to tell him but I don't know how, and I'm afraid of how he will react. I groggily sat up in bed and pushed the snooze button, rubbing my eyes. Vic and I were definitely just friends and no more, sure I helped him write a few songs for his band but that was it. None of them related to him and me in any way at all, and the dreams were just pretty dumb. I slid out of bed and switched the light on, I hated waking up when it was still dark in the winter, but I had no choice because of my shitty little job working at Wal-Mart, I hated that place and everyone that worked there with a passion. The only reason I'm stuck with that job is that it's the only one I can hold down and I've had it for almost a year. I made my way to the bathroom, stripping off my pyjamas and staring at my hideous reflection in the mirror, angry, red marks all down my arms and around the top of my legs, a couple round my hip area and a few on my shoulder, some of the cuts had healed up and I could tell that they would leave a permanent scar, it made me hate myself even more, what I was doing to my body, I hated myself more than I did before, but I didn't stop, I didn't know how to, any time I felt down it was my method of escape, music helps a little, but not enough. I need another form of release. And for that I use cutting. I sighed and flicked the shower on, four years ago I had lost my whole family, both my parents and my two siblings, my younger sister and brother, in a plane crash, I went into a completely horrific depression, I got put into a mental hospital for a year and attempted suicide twice, when I came out I had no one, I had moved to San Diego, miles away from where I used to live, so I had no friends, I knew no one, I had nothing. One night I couldn't cope, I went out to a bar and started drinking my pain away, and that's when I found Vic….

I sat at a bar stool sipping my vodka, I was already pretty hammered and I could feel my eyelids getting heavy, I wondered how long it would take for me to pass out, or even get alcohol poisoning and die, it wouldn't matter, I had no reason to live now anyway, my whole family was gone, I had no aunties or uncles, no one, it was pretty sad that the closest person I had to a friend was the shop keeper at the local candy store. I just chuckled at how fucked up my life had become. I stood up and walked out of the bar, no clue where I was going… And that's all I remember.

I woke up in an unfamiliar bedroom, with no clue where the hell I was or how the hell I got there, walls covered in posters of bands that I had never heard of, my head pounding like mad and my eyes stinging horribly. I felt like utter shit… no, that's an understatement, I felt like fucking shit that fucked a shit and had multiple shit babies. I groaned and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep when suddenly it hit me, could I have gone out and had sex with someone? No, I was fully clothed, there was a soft knock on the door, and a dude's voice spoke, "Hey, uhm, are you awake?"

"Mhm," I mumbled, my throat burning. The door slowly opened and a young, dark haired, deep brown eyed Mexican guy came into the room.

"I'm Vic," He smiled warmly, "I saw you passed out on the pavement last night, and I was worried in case you got hurt, so I brought you back to my apartment,"

"That was very kind," I tried to smile, but my face hurt so badly, I liked this guy, I knew he was genuine, I trusted him.

"Is there anyone you want me to call, family, roommates, friends, anyone?" I laughed at his question, "What's so funny?"

I explained everything, the plane crash, the mental hospital, and how it all lead to that night of drinking.

He said nothing.

He just hugged me. Tight.

"You're staying at mine for a while, ok?"