Author's Note: Best to be read following the conclusion of The Journey, though I suppose it could stand alone.
He remained for quite some time, though they all assumed he had left. The ache in his heart stung a little more each time he saw them together. Walking through Hightown, he stuck to the shadows as he saw the lyrium tattooed elf walking by her side. Sometimes they would joke, and he wished it was he that could enjoy that beautiful smile of hers up close.
He had settled into his role as stalker rather easily, having done it so many times for the Crows. Why he stayed he didn't know. Why he didn't confess his true feelings when he had the opportunity, well, he hated himself a little more each day for not doing so.
There hadn't been anyone like her, not since Rinna, that had captured his heart and held on so tightly. Yet she was never his; he knew this from the beginning. The night they had together, such a beautiful night at the Dalish camp, his mind drifted there far too many times. The feel of her skin, the scent of her, the taste of her, it overwhelmed him at night and teased him each morning. There was a moment during that time that he had looked into her eyes and suddenly he was in love. Unrealistic he thought, having only known her for a few hours, but the way their bodies fit together...
No, he couldn't go there again. Not while following her, them. Off they moved towards Lowtown, to the Hanged Man no doubt, where he knew they'd begin playing cards and drinking, and her melodic laugh would reach him even outside. How he longed to be the one to make her produce such a sound, wished his hands would bring that sweet gasp to her lips once more.
She loved another, he knew this, yet he persisted on torturing himself. "You mean the world to me Zevran, never doubt that," she had said in their last private moment together. He should've told her then. He could've begged her to change her mind, choose him over Fenris, leave Kirkwall to all it's struggles and run away with him to Antiva.
Instead he let her go. "I know it is not me you desire," he told her, and he struggled to remember that truth. Even on the nights he would sneak into her bedroom as he had done before and watched her sleep, he knew he had lost his chance with her.
So he waited. Continued to watch over her and protect her even though she was unaware. If he couldn't have her, he'd at least have her safe. As he settled against a wall to get some rest, the sweet sound of Hawke's laugh drifted from the bar and wrapped itself around his heart.