U N K N O W N
sumeragi sui.
disclaimers X is copyright CLAMP, as always.
warnings uh, none. just some random drabble. :D
notes yes, I will continue writing "within my own prison". no, you probably won't be able to expect another chapter until I regain all my writing...-ness back. no, I'm not dead ;3 I know I've been dormant from ffn lately, I'm sorry but I just need more inspiration to continue all my many fics. you understand, don't you? :D
anyway, I wrote this when I was skipping Chinese class, I always get too personal/rambling in these author's notes so I'll stop here and say please enjoy. I would really appreciate reviews since I haven't written in almost half a year and would really like to know if I still have my minimal talent, if any.
- - -
As a child, Karen had never been loved.
Well, perhaps that wasn't entirely true. Maybe her mother could not find the words to express how much she cared for Karen, so instead she resorted to beating the little girl in torment. Karen never blamed her; Karen understood that it must have been frightening to have such a child, one who could effortlessly light objects aflame.
After she awoke in the hospital after her mother's death, she did not smile.
Even as she'd matured, she still hadn't discovered what it felt like to be loved by another person more than they loved themselves, to truly love another person more than she loved herself.
-
He smiled at her almost with a lingering innocence as she spoke. She giggled at his playful ignorance when he'd accidentally come in contact with her and blushed. He blinked, maybe not entirely grasping the situation.
Love.
Was that how it was? How it felt to love another; how it felt to be caught in their embrace. How it felt like... to want to be their everything.
-
She loves him, and she is amazed.
She's never felt this way before.
She knows it can never be fulfilled. That's why it hurts. It hurts her physically in her heart, and she can feel it as it bleeds and screams for gratification.
He is already attached, and she is painfully aware of it.
She wonders if he notices, notices her, notices her love. She wonders if he even feels anything in return, but knows it impossible. She takes sharp breaths every time he unintentionally touches her, her body exploding with rapture.
She is satisfied with resuming their peaceful platonic relationship. She is happy with just being able to be with him, talk to him, fight alongside him as a Ten no Ryuu. She is content with just him being there, and she never ceases to be amazed at her own affections.
She can only continue her happiness in unrequitedly loving him. That's all she has left.
end.