Author's note: An Emma/Jay story that takes place sometime after "Back in Black." Emma's in a vulnerable state, and Jay is lost without his girlfriend and his best friend. It's from Emma's POV. This was really hard to write, because I'm not quite sure what the dynamic between Emma and Jay would be. It may just be a one-shot, but if I get enough inspiration I'll continue.

I wanted to kill him when I saw that he was walking out those front doors. He hadn't been at lunch all week, and now I finally knew why. I wanted to escape just as bad as he did but I stayed. I stayed because I was expected to. I couldn't show any signs of irrational behavior because people were just finally shutting up about me. If I started skipping class, who knows what rumors would be launched around. Do you know how hard it is to walk down the hallway and know every last eye is fixated on you? Every mind wondering what you did to make that kid want to kill you? Every word was an empty proclaim of how sorry they were. Too bad that didn't know the truth. I wasn't some poor victim, I was the criminal. I should have been the one telling them all how sorry I was. And he was the one that had to leave. What a joke.

"Jay, wait."

I had to give him a piece of my mind. Tell him how weak he was. Let him know that I could see right through his act. He made fun of the scared and frail, but he couldn't even make it through the day.

He let me catch up to him, but as soon as I did he started walking again. I kept up with him.

"What have I done that offends the peacemaker now?"

"You're leaving, that's what."

"I'm sorry. Next time I plan on ditching school, I'll be sure to ask you for permission."

We were outside by then. I'd lost sight of what I had to say, and couldn't find the energy within me to argue. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his car door.

"Please don't tell me you stole my Father's laptop to fund a hideous coat of orange paint."

I was joking but it made him uncomfortable. He looked confused and waited a minute before he could even respond.

"Are you getting in or what?"

No, I wasn't getting in. Was he nuts enough to think that I'd be going anywhere with him? I looked at him in a way that showed my disapproval.

"Then move out of the way."

"Is this what you are going to do? Run away? So what, Sean's gone. We all have to deal with it some time. Escaping isn't going to solve anything."

He had a smirk on his face. The one that made me want to smack him and tell him that whatever was going on in his head wasn't as witty as he found it to be.

"Ha, I only wish that was the worst of my problems. You think I'd be that upset about Cameron? I guess you really aren't as smart as I thought you were. Look, my girlfriend and I broke up the other day, so forgive me if I don't want to spend time in a place where I know she is going to be. Plus, school food? It sucks. Now if you want some real food, and you look like you need it, you'll get in the car. Otherwise, go back inside with everyone who is still mourning over the "tragedy". I'm sure that will be a real good time."

He opened his door and got in. It took me a second to process everything he said. He wasn't right, he wasn't even close, but he was the only person who didn't think it was necessary to pretend to be somber. And why did I have to go back in? I didn't. I had a free pass for now. I could pretty much do anything I wanted and blame it on emotional distress. The question was: is this what I wanted? It had to be better than whatever was going on in that building. I opened the door, and sat down without saying a word.

"Ditching school with the teacher's pet? I'm really asking for it, aren't I? This is sort of like a suicide mission. When I leave, I'm lucky if anyone even notices. Now it's quite possible that every teacher is going to go into convulsions. I guess you could say I'm some sort of a hero, I'm breaking you out for the good of the Degrassi student body."

He thought he was so funny. He laughed at his own jokes, and if you didn't, chances were it wouldn't be long before you met a fist. He started to back out of the parking space.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Well you see, if I hadn't put the car in reverse, we would have gone straight into 896 SFE."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

He was uncomfortable. I could tell by the way he pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes and fumbled with the radio. I took in my surroundings. The interior of his car was almost exactly like I expected it to be. The back was full with piles of car and...other magazines. The middle cup holders had an open pack of cigarettes and a lighter in them. Empty bottles were scattered across the floor. There was a picture taped to his dashboard. He and Alex had their arms around each other, in front of what looked like a lake. They actually looked human. Maybe when they weren't tormenting Grade 10er's, they joked around and laughed like everyone else. And I didn't mean at others expense. Not that it mattered, like he said, they had broken up.

"What happened between you two?" I said, motioning to the picture.

"Come on, Agatha Christie, give it a rest."

"First of all, I'm shocked you even know who that is, but she wrote the mysteries, didn't solve them. Second, you two look so happy in this picture, it's like you actually meant something to each other. That's hard to find. Maybe you should talk to her."

"Well aren't I lucky that you are so concerned? And not that it matters, but we tried. We didn't agree, and we're done. It's as simple as that. I never gave you the third degree on that loser DJ, so can we end this conversation?"

That was the problem. No one ever had asked me about Chris. They didn't care how we broke up, or why we weren't together anymore. I couldn't take it, having no one to tell. Sure Manny and I were friends again, but it wasn't like it used to be. We didn't talk about guy problems, and I had a feeling it would always be a sensitive subject for us.

"He didn't get me, you know? He was thoughtful, funny, and genuinely cared about me, but it wasn't enough. He listened to me complain about school, he let me cry on his shoulder when something had gone wrong at home, and stood by me when I fought for something I believed in. Any girl would be crazy not to like him, but that's just it, I guess I'm just crazy. When we kissed, I didn't feel anything. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't there."

Jay looked at me like I had sprouted a second head.

"Uh...well I'm so glad I asked," he said in his normal sarcastic tone.

"Sorry, I know you don't care, but you were the first person to even mention anything about him. I just wanted someone to know why. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

He took his eyes off the road again, and looked at me. Not in the usual way either, the look that says he thinks I'm completely nuts. It was more...empathetic. He gave me a half smile, and a nod that told me that he understood.

"So, how does Friendly's sound?"