Yuuri hung her head in shame as she sat in the bathroom stall, wondering where she had gone wrong. She had rehearsed that program endlessly, and while she knew that landing those quads would be a stretch for her, she knew that things would have looked suspicious without them. After, that's what all the guys were doing, and she desperately needed to seem just like your average male figure skater. It was pretty clear that she was beginning to fall behind even though she had finally advanced so far in competition.

It had been a spur of the moment decision when she was younger, but once she had started, Yuuri couldn't resist the thrill of the deception and the different kind of competition that came with it. Female figure skating was a really catty world. The emphasis on beauty and makeup and costumes and grace was as much a part of competition as the skating was. Yuuri appreciated a good costume or routine like anyone else would, but the stress of all of the extra stuff on top of skating made her more nervous than usual. It might be hard to believe with her most recent performance, but she actually felt less nervous and performed better while pretending to be a guy.

She reached into her bag and pulled out her clothes, putting on some slightly more feminine stuff and sliding on a different pair of glasses than she normally wore while she was being Yuuri the boy. With more feminine clothing and different glasses, nobody had recognized her yet. She put her pass in her bag so that she wouldn't be identified as someone she shouldn't be, and got ready for her escape from the men's room. It would be tricky if she ran into someone on her way out.

Unfortunately, that was exactly what happened. She ran smack into an angry blonde blur as she opened the door. Taking advantage of his momentary surprise at a woman walking out of the men's room, she ran by him before he could even get a word out. Yuuri scurried to the side door and made her escape into the streets. She definitely needed to escape from all of the sneers and dismissed looks that she was receiving as a result of her poor performance. Yuuri was going to need to have her wits about her at the celebration later tonight.

She managed to get into her hotel room without anyone so much as looking her way, and she swiftly locked the door behind her, leaning against it for a moment. She enjoyed the feeling of safety and calm that she got from shutting the world out.

But she couldn't shut the world out for long; her phone soon buzzed with a new message. She sighed as she grabbed it from her jacket pocket; it was probably Phichit again. She opened his message to see one of his trademark selfies. He was wondering how she was holding up after today's loss. She tried to put on a smile as she sent a picture back to him, but she knew that he would see through it. They knew each other very well; Phichit was the only one who knew she was a girl. That charade had been over pretty quickly when they were assigned to be roommates, but he had sworn not to tell anybody else, and Yuuri trusted him implicitly.

Texting with Phichit was a nice distraction, but eventually even that started to make her feel a little bit like she was under attack. Sending a quick goodbye, she went into the bathroom and began to run a bath. Hopefully that would loosen up her muscles, and a little bit of time to herself could help her feel better. She tugged off her clothes, almost falling into the tub as her sweatpants caught on her ankle. It was nice to surround herself in the warmth and comfort of the bath.

The water began to grow cool, but Yuuri didn't get out of the bathtub until her teeth started chattering. Reluctantly she started to towel off, pulling out the suit from the closet and putting her other pair of glasses back on. Glancing at the clock, she combed her hair and begrudgingly put on her formal attire. The banquet was happening in the ballroom of a nicer hotel, so she hailed a cab and was on her way.

An unfortunate amount of traffic meant that Yuuri was fifteen minutes late by the time she actually arrived. Feeling very awkward, she stepped into the lobby and was glad to see a small crowd of other skaters and coaches and officials still gathered there. She didn't know what she would have done if everyone was waiting in the ballroom for the ceremonies to start. She tried her best to lose herself and blend into the crowd.

Her anonymity disappeared when they were ushered to their seats. She simultaneous near-hyperventilated and tried to scream when she saw where she was seated, which resulted in no noise because of her lack of air but a curiously red color on her face. For the love of all that was holy! Why couldn't she seem to catch a break?

Yuuri was seated in between Christophe, who had made her feel uncomfortable during the whole event because of his complete disregard for personal space, and her idol, Victor Nikiforov. As she settled into her seat, she became intensely aware of Chris (as he oh-so-smoothly asked her to call him) and his creepy stare. Victor didn't really do anything particularly notable. A point in his favor, then, to go with her yearslong hero-worship. She was actually sitting next to Victor!

The ceremony passed quickly enough for Yuuri, because she began to do what she knew she shouldn't: to drink. But her nerves were just too much for her; how could she be expected to deal with the discomfort that she was experiencing, between Chris's totally inappropriate behavior and just Victor's mere presence?

Over the years, Yuuri had learned that she could have about three drinks before she started to get a little bit tipsy. She had passed that mark by the end of the official proceedings, clinging to her glass of champagne like a lifeline. The waiters kept refilling it before she could tell them to stop, and she really didn't want to make a scene about it.

She couldn't quite remember how it happened, but Chris had grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the dance floor, and she was actually agreeing to it (showing her lack of sobriety). He began jokingly swiveling around a pole, and the crowd milling about the dance floor hooted and cheered. Yuuri watched, laughing, before her brain had the brilliant idea to join in. She almost didn't feel like it was actually happening as she whipped off her blazer and loosened her tie before shoving Chris off of the pole. There were some frenzied whispers that turned into excited claps as she began.

Now, despite her timid and easily embarrassed nature, there was a reason that Yuuri knew her limit of alcohol: Minako. The first few times Minako had gotten her drunk were hazy in Yuuri's memory, but there was a reason that she was working the pole like a pro. The crowd grew the longer she was on the pole, but her alcohol-induced euphoria prevented her from feeling any shame. She stepped down when Chris approached again, this time without anything but his boxer briefs. She grabbed her jacket and tried her best to escape through the dense crowd. If she kept going, she might become stupid enough to try stripping a little more, and that would definitely ruin her secret.

Distracted by her surprisingly lucid drunken thought, Yuuri didn't even notice that there were other people around her until she slammed into a very muscular chest. She looked up into the very blue eyes of Victor.

He smiled at her and she melted.

"Nice moves out there. Yuuri, wasn't it?"

She nodded at him.

He walked by her before turning, leaning close to her and whispering into her ear, "I have to wonder where you learned something like that."

Even her drunkenness couldn't distract her from that comment, and her cheeks flushed red. But the final straw was the subtle wink he gave her as he turned to go.

Everything caught up to Yuuri at once, all her emotions and all the alcohol, and she fainted dead away, leaving a very confused Victor to try to catch her falling body.