To whom it may Concern

By The Main Slayer

I'm not very good with words. I never have been; when I want to talk about something important or serious I tend to clam up and not express my true feelings and what I'm really thinking. You never really know what you are thinking until it's over and you have time to reflect, to react. Even now, as I sit here, I don't know what I feel or how I should react. I can see, and understand, where this is all headed: nothing but something casual when you are here rather than allowing something more. I understand that it's complicated and that being apart is hard, but sometimes things are worth fighting for. You once said, life comes at you fast, well to be honest I've crashed into a wave and I'm drowning. When I think I've got control, something new comes up and I fall. For me, there is no one to pick me up but me. Is there someone to pick you up? Are you distant because it's easier?

I wasn't lying when I told you how I felt. I may not have expressed it in the right way and I may have allowed things to go to a level that we cannot come back from, but the feelings were true and real...for me. I've allowed this to happen, these casual encounters. I'm not sure if I have the strength to stop them, if I have the strength to say no. When I see you, when I feel your arms around me, my world seems to perfect and clear. Everything just seems right. I'm not scared – not scared to do things that I'm normally uncomfortable with. It all feels so natural when you are around. I realize I am young and that I have growing to do, but sometimes...just sometimes...a chance is worth more than remaining cautious.

I know what needs to be done before more heartache happens. I wise person once said, "I don't sleep with my friends." That is what we are, that is what we will always be until one of us jumps off the deep end. I've already told you; you know where I stand. I want more. I'm not scared; I'm ready to gamble on something that I think could be worthwhile. Are you ready to gamble? So we are friends...and I don't sleep with my friends. It all ends, until someone jumps off the cliff. The water is nice, maybe you should join me. For now here is what I can say to you:

"And I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to;
And I hope you find it, what you're looking for;
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be and so much more;
And I hope you're happy, wherever you are;
I wanted you to know that, and nothing's going to change that;
And I hope you find it."
- Miley Cyrus, "I Hope You Find It"