How could this happen? Born in the midst of deceit, anger, and spite, only knowing one story, I had grown up on one side of a world.
This was the only perspective I knew, the only world I knew.

But now, it's different.

I had known for some time that there was a line – a line I was forbidden to cross. A choice I was discouraged to choose. Ignoring their words, I passed that line a long time ago. I continue to pretend to be who they taught me to be, but I hide it all behind a mask. I disguise myself, hoping to build someone I am - not someone I am not.

I am my own captive, locking away my emotions of hate, anger, and confusion deep within myself, only allowing love to conquer. I have long ago plucked the blackened flower they had planted in my mind, and allowed a new one to grow in my heart. The blackened petals fade away as the new ones bloom with radiance.

I. Love. Him.

How could three little words be my downfall?
How could those three words suddenly change everything I believed in?
How could they change everything I knew?

Love to me was my mother hugging me when I woke up from a nightmare. Love to me was when my father let me sit on his lap during those cold, quiet nights. Love to me was when me and my family gathered and danced the night away. Love to me was being something they saw, not what I wanted them to see.

Love was not betrayal. Love was not silently lurking behind their backs. Love was not the enemy. Love was not lying. But it wasn't a lie...not between me and him. It was the truth.

How could something I was brought up to hate, be something that completed me? I know it's wrong to fall in love with the poison. I know it's wrong to understand the other side. But from over here I see all the pitiful actions and stupidity that had long ago, been seeded in our lives. Our eyes only saw the darkness, blinded to any hope for a solution.

All those lost lives. All the blood that will forever stain our hands. How much longer? Will we be the end of it all? Anger and revenge had long ago poisoned the heart and blood of my family, constantly drowning us amidst the quarrels of the past. But, I don't want to drown anymore.

For he is my new breath of air. He is my escape from those dark clutches.

They may question me, but as the truth lingers on the tip of my tongue, lies escape my mouth. But my heart will never lie to him.

The sun will set and rise, and as I gaze upon the large ball of fire, I will always be honest to him. If the enemy were the reason I could finally be truthful to myself, what has my family raised me up in? Is my life a lie? Questions remain unanswered – because no one knows the truth.

In the nights I wait for him. I wait to hear his voice – his name calling out for me. Sometimes if we don't meet, I feel I can hear his voice being carried by the wind – whispers amongst the rustle of the leaves of the nearby trees. But when will the day come where we do not have to hide in the shadows of the night? When will the time come where I can hold his hand and we can hold our heads up high, without the fear of swords and bloodshed? If only I knew...if only I knew.

Romeo. A love song on my lips.

If only...if only.

Abandonned - the label I have now placed upon my family, breaking the connection and my allegiance to those who care for me. It hurts so much. It hurts to deceive those close to my heart, to sneak away and commit a sin. But it would hurt more to lose you.

What can I do? Each night, tears stream down my face as I sob in fear wondering if this night is to be our last.

My past, our past, has only been filled with shades of red and black - and sadly that is all I see our future holding.

But this I know: I was once drowning in the sea of the past. The sea of darkness, hatred, revenge, and anger...but I escaped that moment, I walked out on my own. I left those walls that will one day fall.

I've forgotten my past – our past. I did all this, the moment I looked into your eyes.