WRITEOUS DAY,
OR
THE MADDEST TEAPARTY
London, the 1940s (post-Victory)
Bloomsbury, N 14 – the same place, the same good old house. Dining-room of the Stuarts' residence. Time – about 5 o'clock in the evening.
Wendy Moira Angela Stuart (neé Darling), by now a matron in her late forties, but still pretty and sweet, is setting the table for tea, humming some tune from Frank Sinatra.
Suddenly her husband, James Matthew Stuart (ex-Captain Hook, now an elderly gentleman still anxious about Good Form,) appears behind her back
James: May I ask you a question, my beauty?
Wendy: (nearly dropping a cup): Oh, James, you're so unpredictable! Is something wrong?
James: Well, I thought we were expecting but two guests tonight – your friend and – ahem – that husband of hers…Is that so?
Wendy (playfully): Oui, mon capitaine ! Just the two of them. Could you pass me this plate of tarts, please?
James: Just two of them , and no children of theirs?
Wendy: Exactly! No children, I assure you. Neither ours, nor theirs. And NO grandchildren either!
James: Thank God! (utters a sigh of relief). No grandchildren to plague me tonight!
Wendy:…just four of us, like good old times, before all those wars, when we still were young, innocent and…(nearly overturning the plate)
James (catching the plate and saving the tarts):…And clumsy. Shame on you, my lady, you, unlike your humble servant, haven't even lived a single lifetime, and imagine yourself to be too old to count two and two? Bad form, indeed!
Wendy: (chortles) Of course, my love (Continues to put more cups and saucers, humming :" Tea for two, and two for tea…")
James: (puzzled): Then why on Earth are you putting so much china on the table?
Wendy(in a dreamlike voice): Oh, that….But, my love, you know Tarrant's habits…
JamesBetter than I could wish, my lady!
Wendy: …and besides, James, one can never tell how many people may show up…or not…
James (morosely): I am not in the mood for riddles tonight, Mrs. Stuart! Besides, my main condition is : NO BLASTED SPEAKING ANIMALS AT MY TABLE!
Wendy:( anxiously): Except for the White Rabbit , darling!
James: Yes, except for the Rabbit. He could be made useful. As for other creatures – definitely out of the question, madam! They would be only annoying our turtles and….SPLIT MY INFINITIVES! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE TURTLES?
Wendy (in a soothing voice):No need to worry, James, they have only turned into Mock Turtles. Temporarily. Just for the Tea party, I assure you!
James: No one is allowed to mock at MY turtles – mind it, my lady! Well, I'm washing my hands – pardon, my hand – out of this affair! (Puts a tart into his mouth). Hmm.. tastes good…All right, I'll go and slice a lemon or two…
Wendy: (gives him a thimble ) Don't worry, darling, we'll have a great time together!
A White Rabbit (Nivens McTwisp) appears in the doorway.
Rabbit: (announcing like an old-time butler) : Mr and Mrs. Tarrant Hightopp!
James (taking lemon off his hook): Yes, about Time…